Ë Ë â¶ notterrybergâ
terry berg had never been a crier, not once did he ever shed fear in front of his parents from the fear of an act that they would consider unbecoming from a man. not a tear was even shed when the man who claimed to love and protect him, left him battered and bloody in a dark and damp alley. only one soul has ever seen terry cry, and itâs the same man who gave him all the reasons to smile again, the same man who inspires his love of art, his love for the world.
the world was harsh and devoid of color before kyle rayner, terry could only see the grayscale as he trudged through the abyss of of the blackest night, wandering aimlessly with no hope to ever know true happiness, true love. after that fateful meeting, terry berg learned what it was like to feel alive, to find a reason to wake up every day excited about the endless possibilities in a world now full of color.
now having kyle so close, terryâs heart was bursting forth unable to contain the well of emotions itâs kept locked away neatly inside since the day kyle vanished. the memory of his parents was still etched in his brain, their words seared his skin and burned his heart, but their flames of hate were never able to reach the parts of terry that were all kyle, the memories, the laughter, and the joy that was all him, the part of terry that kept him hopeful that heâd one day see him again.
terryâs lips quivered, trying to pull together the words that were desperately trying to claw out from the innermost parts of his soul. âmy boyfriend    my ex,â he corrected. âhe was never even gay to begin with, it had been something planned from the start, my attack, they wanted to do it wanted me to hurt for loving the way i do. he     hit me the most out of all of them,â it was something he had never told kyle, something he never thought he would fearing what kyle might do, but now worlds apart, the words just fell out.
âiâm here,â he hears and itâs the first time he feels as if heâs able to weather the storm. clinging to kyle, he finds the curve of his body. the rise and fall of his chest, and the way kyle tenses up at the mention of a few words, he sees and feels it all, he feels the mans heart beating rapidly, his own beating just as fast, beating for him.
âalways,â terry mumbled, looking up with puffy tear stained eyes. his fingers curled on kyleâs shirt, softly gripping on the fabric, smudges of paint and splatter all around, everything about him feels so familiar, even the scents. the intoxicating smell of oil paints on a fresh palette, the woody aroma inside a new tin of charcoal pencils, and then mint and lanolin from that one masterâs soap. everything and always so familiar, so   kyle. he was here, not some hallucination or vivid dream, this was him, his kyle, his first love, his only love.
âit was the ring,â terry mentioned, remembering that one fact about his appearance in this new world. âit had called out to me from a portal, pink in color like a swirling vortex and it showed me, you.â terry said trying his best to explain as he regained his breath. âit showed you, sad, as if there was something missing here, and i followed it. to you.â
terry didnât mention what the ring had said, how the voice spoke inside his mind, and uttered these words.
You whose blood was forged in blood and fire
Must find the one whom green inspires
Another heart yet torn asunder
In another world where you will wander
Rose and Emerald come together
When tears rain down heâll know surrender
The green clad heart with walls so big
Will come tumbling down with Terryâs kiss
Terry didnât know what it meant at the time, but now here seeing Kyle again, pink and green, rose and emerald, it all made sense. yet he was still too afraid to do it, to take that first step and kiss the man heâs loved all these years. terry berg was still that boy too afraid to love.
With no more words, he finds himself smiling in Kyleâs room, looking around to see every piece of him plastered among the four walls. He finds himself resting his head on Kyleâs chest, his small frame against Kyle as he breathes, simply breathes. âyour room still looks so much like it used to backâŠâ he didnât know what to say, the other world, home? his fingers tracing circles on kyleâs chest.
âyou said iâd be safe, and i knew that, youâre home. iâm finally home, kyle.â he mused, looking up into his eyes before he takes the leap.
and just like that, terryâs kiss. it was soft, it was slow, but it didnât lack passion as he pulled back. slightly anxious at how kyle would react. there was a brief moment when he believed this was a dream all again, like so many he had before, but he wasnât waking up, this was real. âsorry, i promised myself that one i walked through that portal to find you, i would stop being a coward.â
âi donât know what it means that i have this ring here, but it led me to you, love led me back to you, because love is all iâve ever known when iâm with you. â
the tangle of emotions in kyleâs chest pulls tighter with every word that terry says, and it takes considerable effort to hold back the flare of anger that rises in him at the mention of terryâs ex. heâd wondered why david hadnât been at terryâs side in the hospital, but heâd figured it was fear that kept him away. who knew the truth could get even worse? who knew the world had even more evil to offer? kyle had seen it for himself, but⊠it didnât fully process until heâd come face-to-face with it.
he doesnât speak up, letting terry talk and holding him through it. if terry needed him to be an emotional anchor, it was the least kyle could do for him. it doesnât quite abate the thoughts of beating terryâs tormentors into bloody pulps and leaving them on the curb with the rest of the trash, but it keeps him here, where he should be, by terryâs side.
and the ring. theyâre going to have to have a conversation about itâsooner than later. kyleâs very aware of how some of the rings affect their users, and he doesnât want terry to be influenced by feelings being fed to him by the star sapphire ring. even if itâs only amplifying lingering feelings that already existed, it doesnât seem fair to hold terry to words said and actions done when he isnât fully acclimated to the powers of the ring. the last thing kyle wants is terry to feel trapped or obligated to stay with him just because the ring urged them together.
when they get to kyleâs room, kyle leaves terry momentarily to find more blankets and an extra pillow. once he has things settled they climb into bed. initially kyle doesnât plan to stay, not the whole night, only until terry falls asleep. but as terry curls against his side and lays across his chest, kyle knows he isnât going anywhereânor does he want to.
âmy interior design skills lack variation,â he agrees quietly when terry mentions it, unwilling to admit it had been somewhat purposeful. he needed somewhere in this world to feel familiar, like home, even if it had been a while since heâd even lived in that old new york apartment.
terry calls kyle his home and it sparks⊠something. itâs a warmth that rushes through him, that makes his heart race. he doesnât get the chance to fully identify it as terry leans up without warning and presses their lips together in a soft kiss.
it takes him by surprise at first, but he relaxes into it, eyes closing as he leans into the feeling. itâs slow, careful, over too soon. terry pulls away first, and it takes everything kyle has not to chase him. the ache in his chest is replaced with an equally painful yearning, instantly missing the feeling of terryâs lips against his own. stop being a coward. maybe kyle should take that advice.
âa whirlwind,â kyle repeats from earlier, unable to keep the soft smile off his face as he looks up at terry. âweâre gonna have to talk about boundaries.â even as he says it, heâs got a hold on terryâs shirt, ready to pull him back down for another kiss.
but then terry mentions the ring again, and kyle stops himself. he doesnât have enough experience with the star sapphire ring to know what kind of influence it could be having on either of them. how could terry love him after what kyle did? he canât do this with so much doubt. carefully, he pushes terry back, the smile fading from his expression. âin the morning. weâll talk about this. just sleep, okay?â
he canât even look at terry now, shame gripping him, and kyle doesnât know if heâs doing the right thing. he thinks he should save them the trouble and sleep on the couch, but he promised he wouldnât leave terry alone. he keeps that promise as he merely turns on his side facing away from terry, closing his eyes and willing his heart to calm down.
Ë Ë â¶ kyle rayner - fin
