Jay

Hey! It’s been quite a long time and It’s been even longer since I started working on this fic. I began work on this fic in May, right after the release of Putting Other’s First (hence the content). The episode fit in so well with the ‘Always Our Prince’ fic I wrote that I just had to make a sequel. However, the pandemic has taken a really big toll on my mental health so it kinda fell to the back of my mind until recently. But finally I’m finished and I’m so excited to share it with you!

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Pairings: Creativitwins 

Warnings: Gore, Injuries, Breakdowns, Unsympathetic!Janus, Remus, Neglect, Light swearing

Summary: After another nasty battle with the dragon witch and a close encounter with fading, Roman is patched up by someone he least expected.

Word Count: 2721 

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(Based off my headcanon that Deceit was almost like a parent/older sibling for Virgil when he was a Dark Side)

(Also, this is like my first Sanders Sides fic I’ve ever posted..sooo..)

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Warnings: Angst, Deceit, Mentions of Other Dark Sides, Arguing/Yelling

Pairings: Platonic Anxceit

Genre: Angsty Fluff

Summary: Taking place before Virgil’s transition to a light side, Deceit (Dee) and Virgil hide in Virgil’s room with a movie to distract themselves from the arguing of the other Dark Sides. 

Word Count: 1018

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The loud shouting coming from the Dark Sides common room could almost be heard word for word from inside Virgil’s small room. The room itself was just that, small. It barely fit the twin-sized bed shoved in the corner covered in a couple thin blankets and the boxy TV that sat on the carpet at the other end of the room. Scattered on the ground were a few random items of clothing and a pair of headphones that only worked on one side. So with Virgil sitting in the middle of the room with his head buried in his knees, there wasn’t much room left for anyone to move around. 

The shouting had started over an hour earlier and had only gotten louder since then, almost to the point of it becoming screaming. At that point, there was no telling what the argument was about. It had started over who was getting the last bit of food in the kitchen and got blown out of proportion from there. Virgil had vetted to find safety in his room, where at the very least, he could try to pretend the argument wasn’t happening. He always hated the arguments that the other Dark Sides got into, so he tried to escape them whenever he could. There had been only a few times where he’d been caught in the crosshairs of one with no escape. When that happened, he eventually managed to get out, but definitely not unscathed. That was probably why he hated the fighting so much. It scared him, they scared him. 

He was rocking back and forth a bit, his shaky hands gripping onto his ripped jeans as his noisy and uneven breaths filled the silence of the room, the occasional cry filling the space between breaths.

 “It’ll stop,” he kept muttering to himself, “T-they’ll stop, e-eventually..”

The sudden sound of his door opening caused him to jump. He scooted back quickly to the corner of his room, back against his bed and right side pressed against the wall as his widened eyes locked on whoever the visitor was.

“Easy, Virgil, it’s not me,” the snake-like side spoke gently from outside the slightly opened doorway. 

Virgil relaxed a bit at the sound of Deceit’s voice but tensed right back up as the sound of something hitting a wall of the common room echoed from the open door, a small whine escaping him. Deceit rushed into the room after that, shutting the door behind him, “I’m not sorry for barging in.” 

He shook his head as he lowered his knees and sat criss-cross, wiping a few stray tears from his cheek, “I-It’s okay..I-I’m just g-glad you’re back, Dee..”

Deceit moved to sit down beside the anxious side on the floor. He pulled the case of a movie from the pocket in his cloak, placing it on the other’s leg. Virgil looked down to the movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas. His eyes lit up a bit, “H-how did you get this?”

Dee smirked, “Roman didn’t leave some of his movies out in their commons and the room wasn’t empty, so I didn’t just take it.”

A small, but rare, smile formed on Virge’s lips, but it was quickly erased as something hit his door, the impact causing the door to shake. He jumped at the sound of the impact as a squeak escaped his lips. He was unsure if something or someone had been thrown against it. Deceit, paying it no mind, quickly moved to the small TV in the corner and turned it on, placing the movie in, “I hope this doesn’t help.”

He moved back to Virgil’s side, scooting a bit closer so his cloak brushed against the other’s shoulder. Virgil leaned his head against Dee’s shoulder a bit, “T-thanks for the movie..”

“You’re not welcome,” Deceit observed the other’s shakiness as his hand grazed the other’s, “Breathe, Virgil, you’re alright.”

Virgil was a bit too occupied by his thoughts to notice that the other had told the truth. He shook his head a bit harshly with a shaky breath before burying his head in his hands “I-I hate it when they fight, t-they’re just so, loud..”

Deceit sighed, moving so he was sat in front of Virgil, his hands resting on the other’s knees, “Take a deep breath, Virgil. They’ll stop..soon.”

He wasn’t sure if his last statement was the truth or a lie, because truly, it could be either. Sometimes the fighting would seize after an hour or so, sometimes it would continue on for hours, maybe stopping for a bit before picking up worse than before. It just depended on how worn down everyone was at the time. Virgil ended up rushing into the other’s arms, burying his head in Dee’s shoulder as Deceit wrapped his arms around him.. Shouting continued to leak through the walls of Virgil’s room, so Deceit took the remote and turned the volume of the TV up, managing to block most of it out with the audio of the movie, “They can’t get to either of us in here, you’re safe here.”

A cry left the other, “B-but what if-”

“There are no what-ifs. They’re too busy arguing with one another that coming in here won’t even cross their minds,” he sighs, “This is your safe place as of right now.”

Virgil sniffed, pulling away, “A-a safe place?”

Dee nodded, “Y-yes, no matter how long we sit in here and no matter how many times we watch this movie, we won’t leave until the fighting stops and until you feel safe.”

The other wiped his nose with the sleeve of his black hoodie, “H-how long until that happens?”

“I’m not sure, where and when you finally feel safe, is completely up to you.”

 And, potentially, some unpopular opinions. Reminder that everybody is entitled to their own thoughts and feelings. These are just mine!

And the main point of it is this: it’s really not about the shock factor at all.

A friend asked me after I’d seen the video what my favorite part was. It is still hard for me to choose just one, but one of them is certainly the reveal that Virgil used to be a Dark Side. I’ve seen some people who were completely surprised. Others celebrating that they’d “called it” or commenting “we been knew”. Depending on how long you’ve been following me, you know that I’ve played with the idea as well in both theories and fic. I didn’t find the facts of the reveal particularly surprising.

But the delivery of that moment is what made it hit so hard and land so significantly for me. My personal opinion is this: Virgil’s reveal matters less for the shock value and infinitely more for the writing and delivery of the scene. 

The moments directly preceding that reveal are tight with tension and emotion. This is an emotionally intimate moment: and you can see that almost immediately. One of these clues is that Thomas and Virgil are alone together. There’s no “audience” in-canon; whatever is going to be shared, is going to be between the two of them. That gives the conversation this specific kind of intimacy. 

On top of that, Virgil is distinctly Not Great. And when Thomas asks him about it, Virgil admits to it:

T: Virgil? You okay, buddy?

V: Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah, I just. I’m a little… disappointed in myself. I thought that I would be able to… protect you from them. 

It’s hard to convey in text, but if you go back and watch that moment, Virgil speaks pretty haltingly. Like he’s trying to figure out how best to phrase something. It conveys the insecurity he’s shrouded in–especially as it pertains to his ability (or perceived inability) to protect Thomas. That kind of speech continues throughout the rest of the conversation too, and under it is music that builds and builds as the clear inner-tension Virgil is experiencing comes to a crashing halt (please go back and watch the conversation and listen to what the music does to the scene because it amplifies and compliments what is happening so, so well):

T: The Dark Sides?

V: The Others. I thought…. I thought I knew how to handle them.

T: Oh. I think we’re all trying to figure them out for now. It’ll take some time to figure everything out.

V: Yeah, but I should know better.

T: Isn’t that kind of unfair? Why should you be held to a different standard than any other Side?

V: Because I was one of them. 

The moment at the end of this conversation is decisive. It’s paramount, and not because of whether or not you suspected Virgil was a Dark Side, but because Virgil is intentionally choosing to share that detail with Thomas. It is not an accident. He doesn’t blurt it out in the heat of a moment; there is a pause, and a noted decision to say it: “Because I was one of them.”

It is a moment of willing vulnerability that is so deeply saturated in fear–and you can see that in Virgil’s expression.

Virgil looks close to tears. He looks like he’s steeled himself for whatever reaction Thomas might give him, but he has actively chosen to share this detail of who he is anyway. And I think he’s…. expecting some level of negative reaction. I think he’s resigned himself to it. Because when Thomas doesn’t respond immediately, Virgil does this:

He looks like he’s trying to keep it together to avoid completely falling apart. And he leaves basically as soon as he can, so that he doesn’t have to deal with the aftermath. Some part of him felt safe enough–or like it was important enough–to stop hiding that part of who he was, or had been. But it’s still painful, still scary, still earth-shattering. 

It’s emotionally gutting, because it’s such a stark moment of sheer emotional vulnerability from Virgil on a level that–I would argue–we’ve never seen from him before. 

He lives with Remus.

Deceit’s relatively Lawful Neutral.

Remus is just chaotic.

Deceit is classy.

Remus eats deoderant.

And before he would have had pre AA Virgil!!

Imagine family dinners when one member is hissing about how bad a minor inconvienence is and how everyone’s gonna die because of it, and another is trying new deoderant flavours.

Hi friends! Are you excited about the newest video? Because I know I am! But…. y’know. A gentle but firm reminder.

If you go to watch the video, and the warning they’ve put at the beginning signals something you may want to avoid? Know that it’s okay. I don’t know for sure what it might be about–none of us do–but… your safety is the most important thing. Content warnings exist for a reason, and if it’s a warning about something you know you should maybe avoid, please put that first. 

You’re not “less of a fan”, you’re not disappointing anybody, and you don’t need to be embarrassed or ashamed. All you gotta do is look out for you, okay? 

Name moodboard for Senada @judarspeach

~Genderfluid Bisexual Who Loves Stars~