Hello my name is Dr hotdog. And I'm a woman.
A car crash you say? The father died on the scene? This is tragic... and yet, I cannot operate on this boy. You see... I don't want to.
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Cosmic Funnies
we're not kids anymore.

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Not today Justin
Claire Keane
KIROKAZE
trying on a metaphor

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Andulka
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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Stranger Things

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Hello my name is Dr hotdog. And I'm a woman.
A car crash you say? The father died on the scene? This is tragic... and yet, I cannot operate on this boy. You see... I don't want to.

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Discovering the Feminine in Rip Girls
Before their arrival in Hawaii, Sydney’s father, Ben, refuses to tell Sydney anything about her mother. By suppressing any information about her maternal line, Ben cuts her off from a culture that, at least in the (undoubtedly oversimplified and exoticized) version presented in the movie, celebrates female power and community. He also denies her opportunities to make friends or realize her own potential by forbidding her from participating in potentially dangerous activities and pushing her towards solitary pursuits like photography. He teaches her that she is weak and isolates her from a community that would teach her that she is strong. Sydney’s journey of the course of the movie is a journey towards claiming her own power and identity as a Hawaiian woman.
Rip Girls presents Hawaiian culture as a matriarchal world. Sydney learns about surfing, both as a sport and as a spiritual practice, from Gia. She learns about Hawaiian mythology from Gia’s mother, Malia, and listens to a folktale told in Hawaiian by an old woman. The story is about a brave girl who surfs an enormous wave to earn the love of a prince. The one Hawaiian male she befriends, Kona, consistently defers to the authority of the female characters. Kona, Gia, and Malia all believe encourage her to take risks and believe in herself. Hawaiian culture as portrayed in Rip Girls is one in which women are powerful, and where bonds between them are considered deeply important. Malia was Sydney’s mother’s best friend, and when she angrily asks Ben, “Why has [Sydney] never heard my name?” she reveals how important their bond was. In keeping Malia and Sydney apart, Ben denies Sydney a mother figure, a connection to her biological mother, a connection to her heritage, a role model to show her the importance of female friendships, and an entry into a community that respects and fosters powerful women. This is why it is important that we see Malia and Ben talking and laughing at the end of the movie: Ben can only make up for his crimes by letting Malia into his and Sydney’s lives.
In the final scene of the movie, Sydney sits on a surfboard in the ocean and says aloha to the spirit of her dead mother. In this one brief shot, we see that Sydney has embraced her Hawaiian heritage, developed a bond of sorts with her mother, and gained enough courage and confidence to feel at home on a surfboard. She has discovered the beauty not just of the ocean, of surfing, or of Hawaiian culture, but the specific joys and triumphs of being female.
Essay topic
Analyze the plot of Rip Girls in relation to the monomyth. What elements of the film match up to steps on a typical hero’s journey? (Her surfing injury as the Belly of the Whale? Malia as Goddess? Atonement with the Mother?) How does switching the genders of the characters change the myth? What might the filmmakers be trying to say by placing the monomyth in a feminine, matriarchal context?
Essay topic
In what way does Sydney and her family’s arrival in Hawaii in Rip Girls constitute an act of colonization? How does Sydney navigate her dual identity as both colonizer and colonized?
Dissertation
Every Time I’m In the Water, I Feel Right: Returning to the Ocean in Rip Girls and The Thirteenth Year, the Disney Channel’s (Veiled) Queer Love Stories

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The Real Love Story in Rip Girls
If you were to describe Sydney’s friendship with Gia in Rip Girls without specifying Gia’s gender, it would sound like a conventional Hollywood love story. It has the complete arc: meet-cute, initial attraction, developing trust, a betrayal, and a reconciliation. This particular story belongs to a time-honored tradition of teen romance plots in which a girl discovers that her love interest pursued her under false pretenses — as part of a bet, a dare, a con, or any sort of deception, usually involving the love interest’s friends being “in on it.” These movies are usually told from the perspective of the boy, who develops genuine feelings for the girl during the process of deceiving her. After the lie is revealed, the boy finds a way to convince the girl that though it started out fake, his feelings are now real, and the two live happily ever after. Examples include She’s All That, Ten Things I Hate About You, Cruel Intentions, and Rip Girls’ Disney Channel neighbor Genius. The difference is that Rip Girls is told from the perspective of the girl who is being deceived. And also that the deceiver is a girl.
Yes, Sydney has a male love interest, and yes, they kiss. But it’s Gia that Sydney takes photos of from a distance when she first gets to the island. It’s Gia that she meet-cutes with. It’s Gia who teaches her to surf, ushering her into the feminized space of the ocean, and Gia she fights with, and Gia whose approval she desperately needs at the end. Many of her conversations with Kona are about Gia and how great she is. And Sydney and Kona have no arc: they meet, like each other, and continue to like each other. They never have a falling-out, a crucial component of the teen romance formula. Sydney and Kona might like each other, but Sydney and Gia are a love story. Which makes Rip Girls the second aquatic-sports-based DCOM with a strong queer reading.
Kona's Cast Makes Him the Ultimate Tween Crush Object
When Kona first appears in Rip Girls, we are told that he has injured his arm in a skateboarding accident. This injury is a symbolic castration, a physical representation of his inability to do harm. Moreover, because of his cast(ration), he is temporarily unable to swim or surf. Though we occasionally see shots of unnamed boys surfing, the film consistently frames the surfing as a feminine activity, representing female power and solidarity. Kona’s cast keeps him from crossing into the feminized space of the ocean.
Whenever Kona engages in a traditionally masculine pursuit, the filmmakers take care to associate a female character with the same activity. When he mentions skateboarding, Gia brags that she’s better at it. When he uses a power tool, he mentions that Malia taught him how. And when he heroically rescues Sydney from drowning, the only time he swims in the ocean, he makes sure to mention that Gia was right behind him.
In several key moments, Kona acts as a conduit for Sydney to connect with other women. He describes Gia’s surfing prowess to Sydney to help the two girls become closer friends, tells Sydney how Gia is feeling to help them make up after a fight, and, in the most literal example, translates an old Hawaiian woman’s story to help Sydney connect with her maternal ancestors.
And the best part, according to Gia? “He’s a really good listener.”
Yet despite his gentle, often feminine nature, he retains enough of an air of danger to entice Sydney. His cast renders him harmless, but it also serves as a reminder of that he engages in dangerous activities. This places him in opposition to Sydney’s father, who is deathly afraid of any activity that might lead to an injury. The cast is also temporary, and Kona can't wait for it to come off. What ultimately makes Kona so safe and comforting is that he never exhibits any overt sexual desire or aggression. Just as his arm will soon come out of the cast, soon Kona’s sexuality will emerge from its shell of preteen sweetness.
I do not mean to imply that male sexuality is always dangerous, or that sex is always a bad thing for teen girls, but romance stories have centered around this dynamic for centuries (see this essay for an excellent history of it). Sydney is attracted to Kona because of his kindness, his softness, and his good listening, but also because of this hint of danger and sexuality. It is this contrast that makes him the ultimate preteen heartthrob.
Essay topic
At two points in the film Rip Girls, we see a mysterious person watching the action through binoculars, but we never discover this person’s identity or intentions. All we have to go on is a music cue indicating that this person is somehow sinister. What do you make of this? Is the film trying to make a statement about surveillance as a means of social control? To call into the question the morality of Sydney’s photographing of surfers without their consent? Or perhaps to represent, and therefore implicate, the viewing audience?
(Seriously, who the hell is this person?)
Dissertation
What If I Just Take Pictures?: The Ethics of Participant Observation in Rip Girls
Dissertation
The Picture In My Head Is Probably Some Old Photograph: Technology, Memory, and the Absent Maternal in Rip Girls and Smart House

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Dissertation
I’m Coming Home, Sort Of: Fractured Ethnic and Racial Identities in Rip Girls
Today is a big day for Disney Channel Original Movie fans. The DCOM Podcast brings you a Very Special Episode with Greg Pincus, writer of Alley Cats Strike and Quints, among other Disney Channel projects. Greg talks about where ideas for DCOMs come from, their underlying philosophy and structure, and why they have such enduring appeal. He's also a super nice dude who you should definitely follow on Twitter (@gregpincus). If you've ever wondered who was behind your favorite DCOMs, what they were thinking, and whether the famous "Delia shot" is even possible, this is the episode for you.
Our next episode is Rip Girls, so grab your longboard and say "aloha" to queer subtext.
9. Alley Cats Strike
In a world where middle school sports are somehow a super big deal, a group of vintage-loving protohipsters find themselves defending their town's honor in a bowling tournament. Is it a parable about cultural appropriation? Economic exploitation? Dad stuff? Exactly how should an individual relate to the collective? All of these questions will be definitively answered on this week's DCOM Podcast. Stay tuned for a special bonus episode featuring one of the world's foremost experts on Alley Cats Strike.
8. The Color of Friendship
Get ready to raise your consciousness. In this episode's Disney Channel Original Movie, a white girl in from apartheid South Africa stays with a black congressman's family in 1970s DC. Yup, that's right: there are white people in Africa. And they're racist. Or they used to be. This movie teaches the important lesson that racism only happens long, long ago and far, far away, certainly not in America in 2001 (or 2014). TW for discussions of racism and police brutality.
Essay topic
The Color of Friendship mentions two real-world works of literature, Roots and Cry the Beloved Country. Consider the role of books and reading in other Disney Channel Original Movies. Though we've seen several nerd characters, these nerds were defined by their interest in science, not their interest in reading. Under what circumstances do characters read in Disney Channel Original Movies? Consider the Halloweentown picture book in Halloweentown and Jess's gift of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in The Thirteenth Year. What does it mean for a character in a DCOM to read a real book versus an in-universe book? What effect does this reading have, both on the character and on the viewer's perception of that character?

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Discussion question
Does Mahree's assertion that being held at the South African embassy was "like being in prison" constitute a problematic appropriation of the struggles of black South African activists?
Essay topic
In portraying the US as the opposite of, and even the solution to, South Africa's racist society, does The Color of Friendship erase the US's own history of racism? Consider the scene in which Mr. Dellums recommends Mahree read Roots. Is this an acknowledgement of the US's troubled history, or an attempt to confine American racism to the distant past?