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@notapartytrick-blog
Golden

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005
Two years ago
An hotel room in a city, somewhere in the U.S ( ft @quantumbullshit )
Understand: there is not a Duke Midan yet, but there is a man who shifts the base components of reality sitting on a hotel bed, watching a metronome tick. He is wearing gloves and they itch because they are new and because he has been wearing them all day, but he doesnât dare take them off.Â
In the bathroom, a nondescript man is dying his hair purple in the sink and talking, though his voice is soft enough that it ought to be barely heard over the water. ( it will take him three weeks to realize that the purple-haired man always sounds like that, clearly audible but always soft enough to make you feel like you should to be straining to hear him ) The man is saying, âKing Midas turned everything he touched into gold. Youâre more of a duke.â
It is a joke, maybe. He doesnât feel like joking ( he feels like crying, but what else is new? ). The man, at least, does not seem to need his input. He is talking still, about research and development, and the man on the bed wants to scream, tell him that nothing is normal or alright and if he is anything he is a geologist and-- doesnât. He is numb, still, but not enough to forget who is in a room with, or how much he owes to the other man already.
Eventually, the purple-haired man comes out of the bathroom with a faintly violet towel around his shoulders, and watches the man on the bed watch the metronome. He reaches out to stop it metronome and---blurs, too many bodies in one space. When he tuns back to face the man on the bed, six copies of him keep turning, splitting off to examine the room, and the other man understands why it is he seems so calm about marvelous, extraordinary things. Thompson leans his back against the dresser and smiles at the man who will be Duke Midan, already thinking about the possibilities of a man who can bend reality.
âHow do you feel about New York?â
It's a fair warning, at least. Louise is with Duke, tea in hand, arms fully covered even though it is well above 90. "So, when you get kidnapped- not if, when---" Friendly tone, as if she could be anything but, "just call me." A pause. "Or tell someone to call me." How quaint. Louise thinking the forces interested in Duke care about the name Bauer. ( How quaint, Duke not knowing the name Bauer. )
@thcpure/ @lcgisticsTell Duke weird shit, John Mulaney edition
â--What?â Itâs the utter certainly in her voice that gets him. Louise is good and kind and friendly, and she says ânot if, whenâ with all the calm assurance of the dawn.Â
( he does, you know. get kidnapped and call her, that first time; listen to her shame her father and her friend for stealing him away without so much as asking how he felt about it. he could have killed someone, and he wakes up thinking about it for weeks
The second time is different. )
âI uh-- okay?â
thcpure:
here. | @notapartytrick
Be careful, Louise. Monsters never look like monsters.
It was something STUPID, too. Some stupid worry, something she now has forgotten as she stares down to her itching burning searing arm. ( Gosh, GOD, itâs HOT OUTSIDE. sheâs normally in a cardigan or long sleeves but itâs HOT in New York already and her windows are open and sheâs just in a HARVARD LAW teeshirt unironically. a friend over, talking, no danger, nothing to worry about. )
Duke is EXTRAORDINARY. She knew that. ( she was extraordinary, once. she knows, knew, how it feels, she thought. ) Duke can do the impossible, has done it for her, for her stupid ideas. It doesnât need to be life and death always, right? It shouldnât be.
He isnât SCARY. He doesnât wear a gun and show her that heâs armed. He doesnât threaten international action. He doesnât talk about her sister like he wants something.Â
He just. Is.
Louise was making lunch. ( Sunday, after Mass, the sun is high in the sky and glinting off of the precious metal brand on her upper arm. ) She has enough of her wits to reach with her non-injured arm to turn her stove off.Â
âDuke.â Throat tight, sheâs looking at him now, tears welling. Scared, panicking, still, genius brain piecing together the disparate bits he had left around. Sheâs not moving, wonât move. He did this, heâs the one who needs to fix it.Â
( at least, fix it before it spreads to the rest of her. )
Duke doesnât talk to many people, because they alarm him or ask too many questions or just want his secrets. Lou is, was, soft and quiet and kind. He didnât mind working on her projects, or leaving the lab to have lunch, and he wanted so much to reassure her that for a moment he forgot what a terror heâd become.
Duke is extraordinary and he tries so hard not to be. There are the exotic materials, of course, and trade secrets. There are the gloves, the glasses, quirks he thought would keep himself and others safe. They didnât help, and he doesnât know why he thought they would, and he is so sorry.
She looks at him and he looks--down, away, to the mark on her arm. He canât quite face her, not with panic on both of their faces, not with the fact that he should have known better.
He can hear the tears threatening in Louâs voice, and it is enough to tip him over the edge. Tears creep down his face--Gold, Gold, isnât that extraordinary- even as he lifts his hand to hover over the mark on her arm. He will not be able to see, shortly, for the tears and the strangeness; but he isnât using his eyes for this anyway. He doesnât-- know, exactly, how to do this; but he can feel the minute shifts as the elements in her arm go from one thing to another.
( there is something to be said for genetic memory. Duke doesnât Know how to do this like he Knows how to make other things into what they are not, but he can do it all the same )
In those first few terrible weeks, he could pull the gold entirely off himself. ( But then, Duke Midan isnât entirely human, is he? Not like poor Louise Bauer ) Here, he moves his fingers and the edges pulse and contract, sharpening down from where they had already begun to blur and spread, but the hand print stays clear. Itâs stable for now, but something in his blood tells him the not-quite-gold will not stay that way forever.
He canât see her face, not with the swirls of gold that tune his vision to an elemental level, but his gaze flickers upwards anyway, because she at least deserves that much from him.Â
âI-- I canât--â
In the two years Duke has spent doing R&D for rich people who want to steal his secrets and cut out the middleman, heâs taken to reflexively answering âIts a trade secretâ to anything he doesnât want to talk about.
This has occasionally lead to Duke saying that things like âwhat kind of person he likesâ or âwhen he last sleptâ are trade secrets.

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âOkay okay okay okay okay okayâ Louise Bauer is (definitely not panicking and is totally cool and fine) staring at the wall above Dukeâs head, trying very hard to control her breathing, her hands clenched and shaking.
@thcpure/ @lcgisticsTell Duke weird shit, John Mulaney edition
There is a reason Duke Midan does not touch people, and it is written in the golden handprint on Louise Bauerâs arm.
He didnât-- he thought to would be alright to set a hand on her arm, just for a moment, just to reassure her. Duke has been wearing gloves for two years now, and he is wearing them still, and it did not help. He could feel the elements shift under his hand, knew even as he snatched his hand away that he has done something terrible, terrible.
He is-- he has worked so hard, you know, not to be noticed, not to hurt anyone. Duke is breathing fast and shallow, gaze fixed firmly on Louâs arm even as she stares above his head. He is--
âSorry. So-- Sorry, Iâm sorry. Please donât--â Run, scream, tell anyone. He canât ask that of her any more than he can stop the tears welling up in his eyes. âPlease, I can fix this.â
Please, he has to be able to fix this
âThis is a weird topicâ
@spiderlingmanTell Duke weird shit, John Mulaney edition
âIt uh, it is?â
Duke ought to have known better than to trust how well things were going, honestly. Peterâs certainly smart enough to pick up that some things in this lab are not technically possible the way Duke has described them, trade secrets or no. ( and if it isnât anything like that, he hardly knows what Peter âdo you think my friends hate meâ Parker might consider to be a weird topic )
âIt seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the timeâ
@spiderlingmanTell Duke weird shit, John Mulaney edition
âThereâs a lot to be mad about.â Alien invasions, robots trying to kill you, Hydra-- the list goes on. Thatâs getting a little heavy, though, especially for the kind of thing theyâre here for. Duke lifts one shoulder in a shrug, trying to lighten the mood.
âIâm not, though. Mad. About anything in, ah....particular.â His voice fades out as he gets farther into the sentence, until the last word is hardly above a murmur. A stellar conversationalist, our Duke.
âSo, um. This machine is for testing the tensile strength of cabling--â
âDo my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?â
@spiderlingmanTell Duke weird shit, John Mulaney edition
âI donât uh--I donât think they hate you.â
Duke drinks a lot of caffeine and sleeps very little, but at least heâs been lucky enough to avoid that particular side effect of sleep deprivation. Not that he really has that many people whoâs opinion of him he might be concerned about, these days, but itâs always best to think on the positives.
Thereâs a few hours left on this project, but itâd certainly go faster if he didnât have to be so careful about keeping an eye on the young man. He furrows his brow in thought for a moment, before turning slightly to indicate the rear of the lab.
âThereâs a ah, cot in the back, if you wanted to try laying down?â
Please donât touch anything
Kid Gorgeous sentence starters
âYou ever seen a ghost?â
âSay more right nowâ
âI used to see the ghost of a little girl in a Victorian nightgownâ
âLetâs change the subjectâ
âThis is a weird topicâ
âNone of us ever really know our fathersâ
âWe donât have time to unpack all of thatâ
âSTREET SMARTS!â
âSit up straight! Be respectful!â
âSo say a kidnapper grabs you and throws you in the trunk of their carâ
âBrush your teeth! Now BOOM orange juice, thatâs lifeâ
âThatâll throw him off his rhythmâ
âWeird, psych-out, backroom Chicago violenceâ
âAs any Chicago cop will tell ya, a phonebook doesnât leave bruisesâ
âOkay, when you get kidnapped- not if, whenâ
âIf you get taken to a secondary location, your odds of coming back alive are slim to noneâ
âI thought I was gonna be murdered my entire childhoodâ
âWhat would Leonard Bernstein doâ
âGive us some money! As a gift! We want a gift! But only if itâs money!â
âNow you have the audacity to ask me for MORE money?!â
âI gave you more money than the Civil War cost and you spent it already?!â
âSheâs not gonna do anything else for you. Itâs done.â
âI thought our transaction was overâ
âDo my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?
âCollege was like a four year game showâ
âWell if itâs too big you can just wear it as a sleep shirtâ
âThese meaningless politeness rulesâ
âI like to throw in Iâm kidding at the end of jokes nowâ
âSee you at improv practiceâ
âOf all the sentences that I would be ashamed to hear read in courtâ
âI am damp all the timeâ
âI donât think itâs anything seriousâ
âIâm gross nowâ
âYâknow, life?â
âMonkey monkey monkey manâ
âI donât know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to roomâ
âItâs tough to not get grumpy. Itâs so temptingâ
âIâm trying to stay nice thoughâ
âMaybe they have a different definition of niceâ
âIf we must go on with salt alone, we will go on with salt aloneâ
âFamous people are weird as shit. Theyâre all weird. Your suspicions are correctâ
âThat must change you as a personâ
âEverything was slower in the old days. Because they didnât have enough to do so they had to slow things downâ
âWe gotta think of some weird, slow activities to fill the dayâ
âEverything is too fast now and totally unreasonableâ
âEverything is run by robots, and we spend most of the day telling them that weâre not robotsâ
âProve to me youâre not a robot. Look at these curvy letters!â
âHowâd you like to be indoors and out of doors all at once?â
âMay I introduce you to THE GAZEBOâ
âIt seems like everyone everywhere is super mad about everything all the timeâ
âThereâs a horse loose in the hospitalâ
âWhatâd the horse do, whatâd the horse doâ
âWeâre well past thatâ
âOkay okay okay okay okay okayâ
âI have fired the horse catcherâ
âHow come you opened the door for the horse?â
âI used to pay less attentionâ
âIâm lazy by natureâ
âAnd you can quote me on thatâ
âWe bought a stroller for our dogâ
âJust one more follow up questionâ
âWhat did they say in there, what did they do, what did they tell youâ
âThatâs the same joke twiceâ
âA charming anecdote that was fake and never happenedâ
âItâs a word youâre meant to mishearâ
âThe bread of bread is bread. The bread is goodâ
âGod canât hear youâ

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your Duke thought of the evening is: Duke hasnât touched anyone ( or essentially anything, he even wears a pair to bed ) without having gloves on in two years, and has been doing his best not to touch other living things even with gloves on for the same amount of time.Â
âput that down!
@spiderlingmanGet your hands on Dukeâs stuff
âThatâs ahâŚ.mine.â
Duke looksâ mildly alarmed, perhaps, but he generally looks mildly alarmed when people decide to take a closer look at his shelves while they wait. Not that he has anything to hide but all the things he has to hide, of course, just like anyone else.
The âthatâ in question is an attempt to apply superconducting wiring and chips to mimic virtual intelligence in simple robotics ( namely, to a insect-like âbot roughly the size of a deck of cards, and already squirming in Peterâs grip at the sudden movement )
âItâll go back to sleep if you put it back down in the box. Shut down, I mean. Itâs not ah, aware.â
send me âput that down!â for my museâs reaction to yours holding a memento from my museâs past.
ALTERNATELY, sending âwhatâs this?â for the other way around.
pssst. quantumbullshit
a fun fact: Dukeâs rock-sample collection contains, among other things, a football sized chunk of âinactiveâ raw vibranium. He made it himself.

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thcpure:
âWhoa.â Soft, the lawyerâs focus not yet pulled back to the specialist before her. âJust. I mean. Wow.â How difficult would that be to get this installed as a window panel somewhere? How expensive? Even if it wasnât completely transparentâ they probably wouldnât mind the expense if it meant more sunshineâÂ
She knew- heard from trusted sources, or sources of sources that were credible enough to check out on her own, which is a rarity in its own right- that he was worth checking out. Sheâll get in trouble for this, if itâs found out, but Louise is good at weighing the pros and cons and risks and rewards andâ well, this is worth it.Â
Seconds have passed and Louise looks up with a surprised âohâ as if she had forgotten Duke was there. âIâm sorry.â Sheâs about his height, and she meets his eyes with a small, embarrassed smile before looking around the lab wide eyed once again. âThis sort of thing makes what I had in mind seem pretty basic.â
Itâs refreshing to not be dealing with someone who thinks they have to act as if every amazing thing is only what they expected. Not that he minds the others so much, seeing as they pay so many of his bills with their arms race to have the most exotic thing to hand wave as regular. Itâs just-- nice.
Following her gaze around the room, he considers how it must look. The lab is--big, mostly because big impresses the kind of people who give Duke a lot of money to make them fancy toys. Truthfully, the equipment sees more use in testing the latest exotic blend than it does actually creating them, but none of it is purely for show. A few projects in progress-- things explicitly intended to be seen and generate interest, and the rest of them safely stowed. ( his collection, of course, on the back shelves; but not quite relevant to most )
When he can catch her eye again, Duke offers a small smile of his own. âA lot of important things are basic. Itâs not a ah, negative descriptor.â Not even to him, who makes his living in exotics. âWhy donât you ah, describe what you had in mind, and Iâll tell you how we can make it complicated.â A joke, the edges of his eyes crinkling up.
v. and even the sea was gold
There is a castle on a sharp and jagged rock near the sea. The castleâs name is Midan, and it has a Duke, though for how much longer no one can say. He has held the castle for two years now, and he has been out of favor for both of them.Â
The rumor goes: the Duke of Midan is a bastard son ( no one had heard of him before that lonely castle was occupied, and he has no family )
The rumor goes: the Duke of Midan is a vampire ( the shadow of Midan is long and cold, and the Duke has never been seen outside of it before dusk. and besideâ )
The rumor goes: the Duke of Midan is an alchemist ( his halls are filled with gold, and the people do not go hungry for the lack of grain in the fields )
The rumor goes:Â birds do not sing in the air near that place, there are no rabbits in the grass, no fish in the stream, and even the sea is made of gold ( the Duke goes to the sea at dusk, and certainly it is gold, and certainly it is as dead as the fields around the castle )
There is a castle on a sharp and jagged rock near the sea, and its name is Midan. There is something wrong there, and with its Duke, perhaps; but the doors are open to the weary.