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Hogwarts Houses as couples

(Part 2)

Hogwarts Houses as couples 

(Part 1)

There were more than a few war heroes working at Hogwarts for the students to gawp over in those years, but many had a particular soft spot for the quietly amiable, consistently soil-smudged Herbology professor. 

‘It’s his hands,’ one of the fourth year girls had giggled loudly over breakfast, ‘he just looks like he knows what to do with them, you know?’ 

Mrs Weasley nodded and turned the doorknob, but apparently Mr Weasley was holding tight to it on the other side, because the door remained firmly shut. ‘Molly! I’ve got to ask you your question first!’ ‘Arthur, really, this is just silly …’ ‘What do you like me to call you when we’re alone together?’ Even by the dim light of the lantern Harry could tell that Mrs Weasley had turned bright red; he himself felt suddenly warm around the ears and neck, and hastily gulped soup, clattering his spoon as loudly as he could against the bowl. ‘Mollywobbles,’ whispered a mortified Mrs Weasley into the crack at the edge of the door. ‘Correct,’ said Mr Weasley. ‘Now you can let me in.’ 

Beautiful reminder that Molly and Arthur Weasley are officially the cutest couple in the HP fandom, but also that, like, Arthur canonically has a saucy nickname for his wife that they only use when they’re alone together and doesn’t that start to explain why this unassuming pair had no less than seven children?? 

Anyway I always like to think about how Molly Weasley is a worrier but she also just gets s*** done, while Arthur is the dreamer, laid-back type who offers the balance and really they need each other, because without her there’s no way that he would’ve coped with everything they were up against, but without him she’d have gone nuts years ago. 

‘S’up, Figgy?’ Mundungus said, staring from Mrs Figg to Harry and Dudley, ‘What ‘appened to staying undercover?’ ‘I’ll give you undercover!’ cried Mrs Figg, ‘Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!’  ‘Dementors?’ repeated Mundungus aghast, ‘Dementors, ‘ere?’  ‘Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings,’ she shrieked. Mrs Figg raised the arm from which her string bag dangled and whacked Mundungus around the face and neck with it; judging by the clanking noise it made it was full of cat food.

Underappreciated characters: Arabella Figg

It shouldn’t take anyone long to figure out that Arabella Figg is a total badass. What else can be said of a woman who, with no magical ability at all, puts herself directly in the line of fire - not only joining the Order of the Phoenix during the first and second wizarding wars, but taking on arguably one of their most dangerous tasks: guarding Harry Potter? 

The woman faces up to the challenge without batting an eyelid, becoming a deep-undercover agent for Dumbledore, armed only with her  shopping trolley and a small legion of cross-bred Kneazles to ward off invading dementors. She’s smart too, because who else would’ve realised that to stay in the Dursleys’ good graces – and therefore to better keep an eye on Harry – she’d need to appear boring and stuffy in just the right amount? And so each time Harry was due to visit she set about filling her house with a particular odour of cabbage, pulling out her old cat albums and cutting a slice from the stale side of the chocolate cake.

Yet for all this wit and bravery, the little old lady still finds herself discriminated against by wizarding kind. The Wizenmagot try to dismiss her for her squib identity, painting her as an unreliable witness, and she’s not even deemed fit to be kept on the ministry registers. Still, Arabella Doreen Figg keeps fighting on, the noble sentinel of Little Whinging, the Order’s most unassuming member - a hero in tartan slippers and a hairnet. 

More in this series: 

Lee Jordan

Florean Fortescue  

Firenze

“What have you been telling him?” growled Bane. “Remember, Firenze, we are sworn not to set ourselves against the heavens. Have we not read what is to come in the movements of the planets? Centaurs are concerned with what has been foretold! It is not our business to run around like donkeys after stray humans in our forest!” “Do you see that unicorn?” Firenze bellowed at Bane. “Do you not understand why it was killed? Or have the planets not let you in on that secret? I set myself against what is lurking in this forest, Bane, yes, with humans alongside me if I must.” 

Underappreciated characters: Firenze

To say that Firenze is the black horse of the herd is an understatement. To centaurs, even conversing with humans is a foolish and unsavoury act, what with wizards’ penchant for debasing magical creatures and their preoccupation with their own trivial existence. But while Firenze is as adept as the next centaur at decoding the planets and seeing symbols in the smoke, he also seems to possess a foresight his kin do not: That not all wizardkind are unworthy of centaur wisdom and allegiance. Think about the kind of independence of mind and courage it would’ve taken Firenze to agree to work for Dumbledore, knowing that his herd would ostracise him for it. Think about how he refused to go back on his promise to the Hogwarts headmaster even as they beat and banished him. While all others of his kind would stand back and allow innocents to die - leaving an eleven-year-old Harry to Voldemort in the forest, refusing to fight during the first part of the Battle of Hogwarts - Firenze continually sacrifices his position and safety in the name of helping others, even humans.  If we want an instance of a character who truly gives everything he has with the expectation of nothing in return, then look no further than Firenze, who abandoned everything he knew to help people who had no connection, and often little regard, for him and his species. His actions were an example that eventually his brothers and sisters saw the value of. But he was the first of them to look up at the stars and dream of changing what was written there.  

More in this series:

Lee Jordan