i want it to look like you.

“I am.” It only has one hand, but it has both feet and uses them to kick out at his knees. “I am.” It’s broken hand cradles Naim’s cheek in parody of something comforting and gentle, and the clenched fist with blond curls opens to let them fall onto the carpet. “I know nothing else. Only what I am.”

that is just another reminder to bring ryan back to the mission at hand. ( this isn't fucking naim. ) any human would have screamed in agony after shattering their hand like that. his eyes widen as he's suddenly pulled to the side, putting him slightly unbalanced as he catches himself with a soft gasp.

It only adds onto his surprise that Ryan was even interested in the first place. Other than being new, and exotic, and American, what does he have that Ryan will still want? Ryan is likable, charismatic, popular. Athletic- both in looks and in actual practice. And as far as his looks he's so undeniably handsome, unlike himself. Almost everything about Gary is something that needs to grow on you. Like he's a fungus or something.

whilst gary doesn't think he has anything to offer ryan but ryan begs to differ. yeah, he's american and new but ryan saw past that after interacting with him. ( he looks so handsome whenever he's annoyed with him. ) he wanted to know more about him. really figure out what makes him tick.

Once she's back Jenny's frown deepens at Ryan's answer. Other than sibling like bickering that plateaued years ago, Gary's never hurt her. Imagining the fear of something that looks like her sweet boy suddenly becoming violent towards her is enough to break her heart a little, her thumbs brushing over Ryan's cheekbones lightly before she drops her hands. "That's right, it wasn't him," she confirms. Because that feels important to not let him forget.

While she sits across from them on the coffee table- gun behind her but still within arms reach- Gary sinks down into the couch a little bit, curling his legs up underneath him and inching closer to Ryan. Pulling their intertwined hands into his lap and all but hugging his arm against his chest. Jenny winks at him, but she's stilled locked in on the matter at hand. Eyes on the prize, so to speak. The prize being... well, they haven't figured that out yet.

"I want the name of this guy," she says a bit sternly. Which makes Gary squirm. When her spirits are unusually immune to being dampened- bright shiny Barky, he vaguely recalls one of her teachers used to call her- it's hard to get used to something that tends to be so rare. But while their family resemblance is already strong, it's striking when she gets like this. When her eyes narrow and her lips curl up in a sneer they look more like siblings. Twins born seven years apart. "Don't know it, we'll figure it out. We'll start with seein' what he can find out about this guy. Said he ain't from the church? They called him up for this? He's gotta be advertisin' his services somehow." She spits the one word out like rotten tobacco. Services.

"... bet you're glad you didn't ask that girl out that one time," Gary murmurs.

Jenny looks at him, and a smile cracks through. Their superpower with one another. "Shut up," she says with a small laugh and lightly kicks his knee. "I ain't glad. Wish I had even more, now. Better me than you."

"i don't know it. he never introduced himself." he'll shift uncomfortably on the couch, eyes shifting away from jenny as if he was ashamed for not knowing more. "they kinda left us in the dark about it. didn't know what to expect and didn't take it seriously," until he started seizing and screaming on the ground. ( he still has nightmares about that. )

No, no, no, no, no! Annoyance flaring, he stepped into the other's space without giving it even a moment of thought. Could Ryan now very easily hit him with that stick? Yes. Did Ethan even realize? No, no he did not. His brain was working in overdrive, trying to make sense of frustrating blonde.

ryan watches as ethan seems to have some kind of internal battle with himself. ( he's seen this many times. ) as if it's ryan's fault that he knows exactly what to say and do to push all the right buttons. ( granted, it was usually a test to see what their reactions would be. ) their reactions usually told him exactly what he needed to know. ( rather or not they had an interest of boys or not. ) so far, the way ethan is so flushed and frustrated? he'd give him the word confused stamped to his forehead.

blue eyes watch carefully as ethan is suddenly in his personal bubble. tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, eyebrows raising in amusement but he doesn't back down. ( in fact, he pulls his shoulders back and leans into it. )

He pauses at this, a little disarmed by the sincerity and softness of Ryan's voice. Gary doesn't think he has anything to thank him for yet. Shit, thank him when he's lived up to his word and gets to play a little dad with a shotgun. He shrugs, hands finding their way into his pockets. "Don't gotta thank me. I ain't do nothin' yet." But of course he's purposefully missing the point while he figures out the words to say what feels like such an abstract thought.

"'Nd I mean, even if you are... 's real enough to you to be scared of it. Don't really matter what I think about it when it ain't happen me." Gary looks over at him and shrugs again. "You're scared, so I wanna help."

ryan couldn't help but cringe a little at the words that just left his mouth. ( vulnerable, soft--... ) whilst it's not unheard of for ryan to have moments of softness whenever it counted, it was still a foreign concept. ( it's like he's waiting for mr. mccormick to pop out of nowhere and smack him down. ) though, he knows that's not the case and he needed this moment of softness. ( because he feels fucking crazy and so fucking alone. ) though, gary seems to soften that blow for him since he's still walking side by side with him leading into town.

"you don't get it. you've already done so much for me and you don't even know it," he can't help but laugh, though it sounds almost bitter. he'll suck at his teeth whenever gary points out the obvious. ( you're scared. ) he hates that he's right. he hates that this is happening to him. a shaky exhale leaves him, his grasp tightening on his bike handle.

Bricriu kept his eyes locked on the snake, flinching when Ryan grabbed it, he didn't understand how anyone could feel comfortable doing that. "But...they're all tail?" He said as Ryan made his way back over to him, god he felt like such a pussy.

sure, ryan thought that bricriu being scared of snakes was a little bit amusing. ( though, he knows that it's a common fear--.... even whenever you are local. ) hell, ryan had definitely seen some spiders that made his skin crawl. ( though, he learned to deal with them after his father smacked him as a kid for asking to get rid of it. ) his father always drilled it into his head that he couldn't be scared of stuff. ( be a fucking man, ryan! )

“There’s nothing you like about this place?”

“I felt that.” That isn’t what the boy means, but it truly isn’t in the mood to qualify what is and isn’t feeling. It’s more concerned with what is and isn’t dead.

he would normally feel pleased with the contact to naim ( ??? )'s sternum but that was the problem. ( he looks exactly like naim and it breaks his heart. ) he knows that it isn't actually naim but every time it cries, every time it begs for him--.. a little part of him breaks. once he lets go of the bat, it's brought back and ready to swing again if it's needed. ( of course it would be needed. this things sole purpose is to kill him. )

blood splatters against his face when naim ( ??? ) spits at him, a grimace on his face and his guard down for a second. a second too long apparently since naim ( ??? ) reaches out and grabs at his curls, yanking some out. an angered, pained yell leaves ryan and he does his best to bring the bat up to block the punch.

"Told you," Gary mutters from the couch.

Jenny pulls away, still keeping her hand on Ryan's shoulder to turn and give Gary a look. "You stop it," she quickly scolds him. "C'mere, sit down."

Jenny guides Ryan to the couch to take the spot she'd previously been sitting in and ducks down the hall. So far they've been keeping the gun in linen closet, and Jenny checks that it's loaded and that the safety it's on, before putting it on the mantle in front of the TV. Just in case. Cracks her knuckles a little bit and does a scan of what she can see of the house before giving them her attention again. Far from the first time Gary's glad Jenny's rage is reserved for protecting him, because she can get really scary when she's like this.

"You get hurt last night?" she asks Gary, holding his face in her hands and doing a quick inspection.

"No, 'm okay," he tells her. He can see her doubting this because of the developing bruise on his jaw, but she leaves him be.

though, he pulls himself together before he plops down on the couch, rubbing his face with his hands to get the tears away. he'll take a deep breath, blindly reaching for gary's hand as he leans his head back, closing his eyes. this is as close to coming out as he's ever been and he hasn't even said it out loud. ( hey, i'm gay and so is your nephew---.. dark forces are at play. ) this isn't the way he ever thought he'd do it.

he'll open his eyes when he hears jenny's foot falls as she walks back into the living room. blue eyes widen at the sight of the gun. ( okay, little miss bad ass. ) he'll turn his head to look over at gary, giving his hand a squeeze. "they roughed him up a bit but nothin' too bad." he can't help but flinch slightly whenever jenny starts to inspect him, eyes shifting away.

Bricriu didn't even realise he'd mentioned prison, he was too freaked out by the snake, but his sister liked snakes, he thought maybe he should try and get used to them, not only because he now lived in Australia and they were everywhere, but in her memory, she'd be proud of him if he could do it.

again, ryan doesn't plan on bringing up the little slip up. if bricriu wanted to bring up prison, he'd be all ears. ( plus, he doesn't want the new guy to be anymore uncomfortable. ) moving is hard, but moving to another country on the other side of the world? he couldn't imagine.

"I- what? You can't- shut the fuck up." Despite the frustration that had leaked into his tone, the smile had yet to leave his face. His annoyance wasn't necessarily even directed at Ryan, but more so himself. An unfamiliar warm flush had crept up into his cheeks and neck, and he wasn't sure how to handle it... Gross. Okay. Ignore it and pretend everything is chill, that's what he'd do! Because absolutely not.

oh, you fucking idiot, ethan! now ryan knows he has you wrapped around his finger. the reaction alone causes an amused smirk to spread across his features, feeling quite pleased with himself. a part of him knows that he's just served ethan a large taste of his own medicine. ( people say don't poke the bear but that happens to be ryan's favorite game. )

Boys. Gary thinks it without hesitation. My type is boys, I like boys. He's in less denial than ever. But he still can't say it. Not even when that might be what Ryan's really trying to ask him. When he's having unspoken anxieties Gary could soothe. Even after their clean state fresh start, Gary finds himself lingering in the closet. The unknown of what lies beyond the door is far more intimidating than the comfort of the space he already knows well.

ryan had never been in denial about his preferences. ( was he absolutely depressed and down whenever it came to light? absolutely. ) though, he had never denied it unless it was a lie to save face. ( thankfully, no one has accused him of being gay since he was fourteen. ) like it was mentioned before, puberty hit ryan mccormick like a freight train. it also helped that he was an athlete. fit, strong and handsome. no one has ever questioned his sexuality, which he was quite thankful for.