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I remember the first time I fell in love with swanqueen. I wasn’t watching OUAT at the time. I just saw lots of pictures. One day, I was roaming tumblr, without an account, trying to find lesbian ships. I was lonely, and bored. I saw a picture of a Brunnette, in a hoody and a mini skirt, spray painting a car. I remember seeing A drunk Blonde, kissing a, what seemed to me at the time, a secretary.She was professional looking; that was certain. She was startled. I was reblogging this foreign lesbian relationship. I remember guessing their orientation to myself and wondering who they were. I didn’t watch the show yet. I had no interest. I learned the name of the tags. I learned the name of the women. “Emma Swan…”, I said to myself. “Regina Mills”, I signed. watched the show. I looked up the writers cuz the intro reminded me of Xena. I figured, “it must be from the same people.”; but no. I discovered a man with an awful haircut, and glasses. I shook my head, and continued watch the show, on Netflix. I think I always loved Regina, even from the beginning. I just had a good feeling about her. I had no prior knowledge. My instincts just kicked in. This was supposed to be a modern fairy tail, right? So, something must be different. However, she did intimidate me. I never cared for snow, nor charming. But I saw their romance portrayed at the beginning; and knew the interesting stuff was coming later. Good love stories don’t start with the romance. They don’t. But as soon as the Evil Queen graced my screen, I fell in love, instantaneously. I saw myself in her. She was horrible. She was ruthless. She was me, before I calmed down. And I just had a good feeling about her. I remember not being able to stand snow’s butter face and cheesy lines. They made me puke. But the evil queen was wise. “Love is weakness.”. Love IS weakness. You lose yourself with love. You are self sacrificing with love. I loved my family, and all they did was hurt me. Love was weakness. Enter Emma Swan, and we have another breath of fresh air. She’d push a dude off for sexually assaulting her. She did. She pushed off Graham. She might of liked him, but she knew she was sexually assaulted by him. She also handled things like an adult. She didn’t care if he was involved with the Regina Mills. She just didn’t want to be dragged into drama. Yes! Give me that! Then I saw Henry, and everyone else; and it was fun! But I was watching Regina and Emma’s interaction grew more immense in chemistry. I saw tension. I saw electricity. It’s what kept me glued to the show. The show made sense in the beginning, but then it grew more and more convoluted. Enter hook. Who’s this? Who’s is this threat? You know how C.K Lois says love starts with “Who the fuck is this?”? Well, hate starts with “Who the fuck are you; and why are you here?”. My instincts went into overdrive. I hated him. He hathe soiled my sanctum, scrunching the grass and leaves with his collared boots. He swaggered in with his Italian leather, and broody eyebrows. It was then I knew where this was headed. But i kept watching. Emma and Regina work well together. Regina didn’t stop being wise. She doesn’t regret her past, because it got her Henry. I was even excited about season four! Frozen! But season five came. I was weary. The battle against the pirate is not over. He hathe died four times. He keeps coming back. His cliché broodiness is relentless! He won’t let up. He’s takes the credit for the actions of women. He just won’t quit! He’s been proven a failure! Sure, he had moments of decency. But it’s too late for him! It should be too late for him! Why does he get a new lease at life? Why not Daniel? Why not Milah?! Why him? Do the writers masturbate to the concept of a world where men are men and women just sit around sacrificing their entire beings for men?! Did they not have enough dates in high school, and jerk off to to fantasies, in which they have better haircuts, jaw lines that could cut diamonds, and the mystique of Jack Sparrows under achieving cousin?! Men, who don’t even have the decency to think of their daughters, portraying their middle school fantasies on screen, have the audacity to tell ME what to be like? That doesn’t make any sense! How can THEY tell ME what to be like? Who are THEY tell critique ME?! How can writers, who recycle elements of other shows, making grammatical errors in the script, with shitty haircuts, have the GUL to tell ME what to DO?! Then I realized, it’s not supposed to make sense. These aren’t out of touch nerds, who hate strong women, because of a sexist society that deemed them unworthy. No. That doesn’t make sense. Most nerds have common sense. They would hold their tongue. This world doesn’t take kindly to out of touch wimps, with a laptop. People with no talent, who steal, who have nothing going for them, have the common decency to keep their opinions about women to themselves, and walk away. Not these guys. Why? Why the fuck are no talented hacks, who recycle material, trying to tell me what to do? Because it’s not supposed to make sense. If OUAT made sense now, and two old nerds weren’t trying to tell me what to do, then nothing big would be happening later. I believe swanqueen is happening. Why? Because no one should with 0 talent, 0 creativity, would ever have the nerve to say shit to me. Swendgame!