𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔴𝔫

“ say something nice or don’t speak. ”

“  what am i supposed to do when i can’t even trust my own mind?  ”  “  i have to believe death is the end. because all that waits for me in the afterlife is a debt of sin i don’t think could ever be paid off.  ” “  what do you see when you look into my eyes?  ”   “  it doesn’t always have to be you, you know?  your shoulders aren’t the only ones that can bear the weight of the world.  ”   “  i don’t think hearts break. shattered things can only be broken once. but torn things can be mended again and again until it’s all scars and stitching.  ” “  i can’t remember what it’s like to be truly wanted.  ” “  every time you look at me i feel invisible.  ” “  loneliness is a slow and cruel poison.  ” “  i’m afraid that if i let you see every side of me, you should shrink back in fear or disgust.  ” “  for once in your life, what is it that you want.  ” “  i’ve been wrapped in my sorrow for so long, i’m afraid i’ll feel too cold without it.  ” “  i just want to see you smile again.  ” “  can’t you stop running for one second?  ” “  i’ll be here. when you’re ready to talk.  ” “  being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting you’re in pain.  ” “  don’t shut me out. please.  ” “  don’t look at me like that.  ” “  the world isn’t made up of heroes and monsters. just broken people balancing between the two.  ” “  i just wanted to do something good for once.  ” “  why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?  ” “  just trust me. please.  ” “  why can’t you let me in? what are you so afraid of?  ” “   you’re so worried about losing me/them you’re missing everything in front of you.  ”   “  i’m not leaving you.  ” “  you’re not alone. i’m here.  ” “  you see everyone so clearly except yourself.  ” “  don’t you understand? i love you. and nothing you’ve done, no matter how much of a monster you think you are, is gonna change that.  ” “  i find broken things interesting. maybe that’s why i like you so much.  ” “  i want to be whatever it is you think i am.  ” “  you see the good in everything. that’s why i like it when you look at me.  ” “  i’ll still be here when you wake.  ” “  i promise i’ll never hurt you again.  ” “  as long as i have you, the rest doesn’t matter.  ” “  what did they do to you?  ” “  i’m not sure i should leave you alone.  ” “  i won’t hate you. i know you think that’s what you deserve but it’s not.  ” “  i want to love the parts of you that you hate.  ” “  i’m scared of what you’re becoming.  ” “  i’m sorry, i’m not what you think i am.  ” “  you’ll always have a home with me.  ” “  what happened to you?  ” “  i thought i’d never see you again.  ” “  you’re such a fucking coward.  ” “  i envy anyone who has the privilege of being loved by you.  ” “  you scared me.  ” “  please, don’t ever give up on me.  ” “  i’m not giving up on you. not ever.  ” “  i know you love me. but it’s not the way i want to be loved.  ”

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MICHAEL TREVINO Roswell, New Mexico 2.07

i love you.

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“god, you look so good”  “fuck—” “i got you, baby”  “you’re being so good for me”  “i promise i’ll be a good”  “please”  “you have to be quiet if you want to cum”  “say please?”  “are you gonna be good for me?”  “shit— i have to pee” “wait, that hurts” “not there” “that feels so good”  “touch me here”  “did you just yawn?”  “you make me feel so good”  “do you like this?”  “i want to hear you when you cum”  “i’m so close”  “i need you”  “how much do you want to cum?” “turn around” “your fingers feel amazing” “i’m yours”  “you’re mine” “tell me you’re mine”  “you sound so pretty when you moan”  “harder” “wait—” “is this okay?” “say it again” “i love you”

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‘ did it really happen if i can’t remember it ? ’ ‘ but you kept trying , didn’t you ? ’ ‘ how can someone be too young to be in love ? ’ ‘ i will never forgive you ’ ‘ you have been the star of each and every one of my nightmares ’ ‘ i’m sorry if i wasn’t the child you had in mind ’ ‘ i only ever wanted to make you proud ’ ‘ silence has always been my loudest scream ’ ‘ i used to think i was broken ’ ‘ i’ve always felt like a stranger in my skin ’ ‘ i still wonder who i would have been ’ ‘ i didn’t realize i could be my own knight ’ ‘ i’m not scared of the monsters hidden underneath my bed ’ ‘ some names will always be cursed ’ ‘ i have so much love to give , but no one ever wants it ’ ‘ in all my dreams i could find myself picking my teeth out of the carpet ’ ‘ i’m sick to death of everyone telling me how strong i am ’ ‘ death is one of the senses ’ ‘ children are not meant to die before their parents ’ ‘ fate is a fucking lie ’ ‘ everyone i love leaves ’ ‘ i’m terrified down to my very roots that there are parts of myself that can never be filled ’ ‘ fuck the idea that there is such a thing as destiny ’ ‘ the pain did not make me a better person ’ ‘ i burned the bridges to all the things i could not repair ’ ‘ i would thank you , but we both know you don’t deserve it ’ ‘ i bet you regret making an enemy out of me ’ ‘ you can hate me forever if that’s what you really want ’ ‘ hurting others is a choice ’ ‘ you can have my forgiveness but you can’t have me ’ ‘ please believe me when i say revenge was never my intention ’ ‘ i am strong enough for anything ’ ‘ i am so glad we were born during the same lifetime ’ ‘ i may not believe in fate , but i believe in you ’ ‘ i am allowed to live my life ’ ‘ do not waste a minute mourning me ’ ‘ maybe you should start treating people better for a change ’ ‘ it is a fucking tragedy when the world does not stop for you when you give it every last drop of your blood ’ ‘ your failures are just what happened — they don’t have to be who you are ’ ‘ you have to keep moving forward ’ ‘ don’t allow the world to take your kindness ’ ‘ you owe no one your forgiveness ’ ‘ love is never a weakness ’

if  there’s  a  blog  i  missed  that  you’d  like  me  to  put  up  a  plotting  call  for,  just  let  me  know  !