nope.

remember decency?

I experienced 4 different intense emotions during this post. What a roller coaster. I took his time for granted, and I would give anything to know a human being with empathy was in our white house again

remember when america had a president that had open affection for his spouse and both enjoyed and didn’t terrify small children?

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok

i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”

THE GUY AT THE END

Don’t forget absurd back flexibility

this video just laughed at me for being out of shape.

I had a friend growing up that was from Slovakia or Ukraine, I don’t remember which. I knew him from kindergarten to 2nd grade. And since there wasn’t a large enough slavic community for this kind of dancing, he did competitive ballet. He would constantly complain that it wasn’t hard enough. Guys, its competitive ballet, one of the hardest sports you can be in as a young person. Those C-jumps the guys were doing? In american ballet or dance you usually only get your chest to where you head was. They have their bellybutton or hips where their head was. That’s fucking nuts with out running or a pre jump. This kind of dancing was constantly going on at their house. I would like to point out that’s insane. His mom and dad dance almost every day. Not as high since age. But still.

I’ve been giving birth like crazy lately lmk if you want a free baby

Mormons be like

I get my news from the only reliable source, cryptic symbolism in my dreams

my weapon of choice during school yard fights 

Oh lord.

Both.

Good post.

Donald Duck finally gets some goddamn recognition around here.

reblog if you love and respect Donald Duck in your house