i hope this email finds you a broken husk of a man

worlds tallest vampire

count everest

mount dracula

Wouldn’t mind if i do

I am forcibly dragged away from you

Jaws is the hero of the movie Jaws. They wouldn’t name the movie after him if he wasn’t.

rewatching jaws i realize I am correct, Jaws is the hero for eating these Martha’s Vineyard fucks and the true villain is, i guess, capitalism

let’s hear it for jaws the shark from the movie jaws

ah yes they call me “No Queue” Jones because I post everything I reblog at once with no breaks in between and then vanish into the night for extended periods of inactivity

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

These things were created by satan

girls don’t want boyfriends girls want a seven book series about the marauders’ life at hogwarts