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@nonsensefunsense
Arthur: what do you think happens when we die?
Lancelot: we go to heaven
Gwaine: no no. we're all going to hell. we kill people all the time
Merlin: actually you guys will all be reincarnated, except for Arthur and me
Arthur: what?
Merlin: yes. Arthur will die and then wait in avalon until the time is ready for his return.
Gwaine/Lancelot: And you?
Merlin: *laughs* oh, I just won't die
Arthur: that's not-
merlin: *tearing up with a grin*: please end my suffering
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Arthur: I wish I was never born
Gin: you know, normally I would grand you that wish, but like.... Maybe i should show you what would happen then
*shows vision of Camelot*
Camelot is empty. Uther is no longer king. Chaos in the streets. Armies of foreign kings have claimed Camelot to be theirs. Morgana and Gwen lead a defense squad consisting of untrained druids. They are all killed on sight.
Gaius is seen in a tent, he can't move, he's disabled now. He can't walk.
Arthur: *shocked*: what the - no that can't be. What happened to my father? Why is the castle empty? Why are those armies killing my people?
Gin: well... Since you weren't born, your father didn't loose his wife to magic. Which means he never started a war against it. Your parents got divorced however, when Ygraine learned of his affair with Vivienne. After that he lost all hope in his life and turned to drinking. He disowned Morgana as his daughter who grew up with druids instead.
Camelot was now vulnerable. Kings from other kingdoms attacked and Uther died in one of those riots.
Camelot's citizens ran for the woods. Before that happened, Gaius fell of a shelf once and was disabled ever since. Now Camelot's citizens can't even be treated properly. Many died of diseases.
Most knight were killed in a fight against dragon lords and their dragons that fought for other kingdoms.
Many were also killed by other magical creatures.
Arthur: Then - what happened to Merlin? Did they do something to him? Did he ever go to Camelot?
Gini: well.... Since you were never born, the dragons were never captured and killed by Uther, since his mind wasn't in it. Which means he never tricked Balinor into capturing the last dragon. Which means Balinor was never hunted by Uther. Which means he never left to Essetir and met Merlin's mother.
Which is also why Merlin was never born either.
Arthur: *blinks* what?
Gini: Merlin is magic sire.
Arthur: ??????
Gini: you were born of magic, Sire. And without you, magic would never exist. It's a circle. This was destined to happen
Arthur: what if i wish for Merlin to exist anyway?
Gini:........ If Merlin were to exist without you, and Uther would still hunt magic....
Then Merlin would be the one to destroy Camelot instead of protecting it
Sorcerer: you have to choose, Arthur Pendragon. Who will you keep. Your servant or your kingdom?
Arthur: *internal panicking* noooooo!!! Not MERLIN!
Elyan: he's actually considering these options? Wow Merlin must be really important to him....
Arthur: *internally* FUCK, if I abandon Camelot just like that, Merlin will HATE ME!
Lancelot at Merlin: Don't worry, I will keep your secret safe.
Merlin: Arthur can NEVER know
Arthur who just walked in: can't know what?
Merlin: erm
Lancelot: nothing nothing. just. Erm..
Arthur: ?
Merlin : alright, you got me. i ruined one of your favorite shirts. *nervous as hell*
Lancelot: yes.... yes. he burned it
Merlin *mouthing*: why
Arthur: ok.... just... buy me a new one? *realization* wait, were you wearing my shirt?
Merlin, honestly confused: no?
Arthur puts a hand on his shoulder: *sighs* Merlin, you are such a bad liar. Do you think I haven't noticed that you keep stealing my old shirts?
Merlin looking at his new scarf: erm.....
Arthur: i know you have a crush on me, Merlin. hell, everyone knows that. That's ok, i'm not mad. i won't fire you over this. I've known for a while and I won't treat you any differently. now go get me a couple new shirts. *leaves*
.....
Merlin, out of ear shot: what?
Lancelot, laughing: i mean.... he's not wrong
Merlin: shut up lance
Arthur: okay, which one of you thought Merlin and I were together?
Knights: *raise hands*
Gaius: *raises hand*
Gwen: *raises hand
Arthur: Merlin, put your hand down
Merlin: *huffing* i WOULD if you stopped holding it for a second!
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Merlin: I come in here late, covered in dung, my clothes half burned of, arrows stuck in the wall behind me. Doesn't that tell you something?
Arthur: it's tuesday?
__-----___------___
Later that day:
Arthur: Merlin, i was almost killed! Two assassins on one day! I was poisoned, I barely survived! Don't you have something to say about this?
Merlin: .... I fear you're right. It IS tuesday
concept:
So, basically Merlin is royalty from another country. He is also a transman with transphobic parents who wanted to marry of their "daughter" to some rich dude.
when merlin hits puberty, he experiences heavy disphoria with his female body and that's when his magic starts acting up. To match his gender, magic works kinda the same as Testosterone injections would (to keep it more realistic lol) and offers him the chance to grow up as who he truly is. The downside is, he has to run away from home.
.......
years pass and Merlin figures out the dude he was supposed to marry was Arthur.
The day their marriage was set, merlin's parents visit Camelot to offer another daughter to arthur instead.
However they recognize Merlin as their "daughter" and get mad and angry at him for "being a disgrace" and shit.
and know who saves Merlin? You'd never guess, it's Uther.
Uther: What is going on here? Is your manservant being trouble again, arthur?
Queen: That is no manservant. I am ashamed to say this is my daughter.
Merlin : *ashamed* i'm your son
Uther: ......
queen: you were born a woman! You were born our DAUGHTER! that will never change
uther: pardon, me queen X, but your son has been serving this kingdom loyaly, if incompetent, for years. royal or not, he has chosen his path.
queen: She!!!! it's SHE! Because SHE is a WOMAN!
*she keeps on ranting and misgendering merlin*
What curse are you under that you look like THIS now anyway?!
Uther: pardon me, milady. But has it ever occurred to you that maybe merlin was cursed before he was born?
Queen: *blinks* what?
Uther: being born into the wrong body.... sounds like a curse to me. my wife was under a similar curse once. temporary. For a few weeks only. The result was that she was close to infertile, even when we reversed the effects. She never stopped being a woman to me, but she constantly felt depressed about her body.
I can only imagine how awful it must be to be born with that feeling. and to be treated like it doesn't have an effect on him. I fathom your behavior just made it worse for him.
Queen: my daughter wasn't cursed
Merlin:.... *honestly about to cry*
uther: the boy sure seems to feel that way
The issue of trans women being sent to men's prisons isn't brought up as being a monstrous thing because of the misgendering, it's monstrous because we're sent there to be legally sex trafficked.
That's what V-coding is. That is why they are so adamant about sending trans women to men's prisons, because sex trafficking trans women within the men's prison system is an essential part of that system. Being misgendered by this isn't even an issue that's on our radar!
i just know that percy annabeth and grover are those Three Friends who are absolutely. Indecipherable when they're together. like they operate on an entirely different plane of reality. they have their own little inside jokes and shit, but even worse than that, all of their brains are just so fucking chaotic that only they can understand one another when they're excited. so you'll be standing next to them at a cabin counselor meeting and all three of them are talking so fast you're not even sure if they're speaking english (Grover might actually be yapping in ancient greek, it's impossible to tell) and they look like absolute lunatics, going off on different tangents of thought, it doesnt even sound like they're talking about the same thing, and then somehow by the end of the meeting they're able to present a brilliant let's-kick-kronos'-ass strategy with perfect cohesion. like honestly what the fuck
Yuna is representing Ilya in a brand meeting and they are trying to undervalue him. She goes full tiger mom telling them what a great athlete and person he is and he’s objectively handsome af and they should be BEGGING this amazing man to be the face of their brand.
Ilya is sitting in silence with his heart swelling and in his head he’s telling himself, “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.”
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Me out here avoiding tadc spoilers left and right cuz I have family events this weekend and can't watch it
I still don't know if the fact that there are so few spoilers i have to avoid is a good or bad sign about the finale
NOO I SAW I SPOILER
Me out here avoiding tadc spoilers left and right cuz I have family events this weekend and can't watch it
I still don't know if the fact that there are so few spoilers i have to avoid is a good or bad sign about the finale
So today on the local news they covered that the US men’s soccer team beat Australia but the news anchors didn’t get nearly as excited about that as they did about the report about the local zoo releasing more endangered lizards into the wild and frankly I agree with them
To be fair, reintroducing endangered lizards back into the wild is far more relevant long term
They’re called the blunt nosed leopard lizard and they’re native to the California San Joaquin valley and they are just little guys!
The Fresno Chaffee Zoo’s conservation program just released their 100th lizard back into the wild!
Now lets discuss why you think Cyborg is 30 despite being a member of the teen titans and the racist implications of that statement 🎤
Black people in the ops comment section are rightfully calling them out for it but like no fr lets discuss how its the black guy you said this about how young darkskin black boys are constantly perceived to be grown and forced to grow up sooner than their nonblack or lightskin peers. And as for Cyborgs appearance if you knew anything about him you'd know he was a highschool athlete close to graduating when he had his accident.
a hollanov video goes viral and it’s filmed by a pedestrian where shane was carrying two grocery bags while ilya walked behind him trying to grab one of the bags but shane kept moving it out of his grasp and they appeared to have a very heated argument. and then suddenly shane moved one bag to the other hand and grabbed ilya’s hand and dragged him along. they appeared to still be arguing but ilya had stopped trying to steal one of the grocery bags.
anyway the internet was cackling tf up and calling ilya shane’s princess and making memes about his grabby hands. ilya’s pouting to shane about it, who kisses his pout and says, “well everyone knows you have a husband who spoils you and takes care of you, is that so bad?” and ilya begrudgingly says “no, it is not.” “okay then.”
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i love how shane has zero awareness of how cool he actually is and how much people are dying to talk to him but they keep a Respectful Distance because he's such a mythic bitch
shane gets semi tipsy at one team event and starts talking about some strategy he saw or hockey history book he read and everyone is focused immediately hanging onto every word - until he abruptly stops himself because he thinks he's being Unbearable Only Hockey Guy again when in reality the entire league looks at shane like he's holding some hockey secret fountain of talent that will make them talented too
and when he DOES end up relaxed enough to share something personal everyone is even MORE invested and trying not to spook him and trying to keep him talking and making jokes because Oh My God Shane Hollander is talking to them, Shane Hollander is Cooler and Funnier than originally anticipated (and everyone already thought he was a legend)
this is also SO frustrating for ilya especially when they're out and people are openly flirting with shane and eating up every word that comes out of his mouth (he also opens up a lot more when he's with ilya because duh but this makes everyone MORE infatuated with him) and ilya just watches everyone fall in love with his husband while he shifts between possessively glaring at anyone who looks a little Too adoring and being full of his own admiration for shane and rubbing his thigh under the table
but then they go home and shane's like shit i probably talked too much about hockey right? or wait did i interrupt the rookies too much? we should've tipped the bartender more he was so nice all evening
and ilya is seeing red both because this man can't see how incredible he is while everyone else can AND because this man is in fact his
obviously they fuck about it
Folks will tell you "I don't care what happens as long as it's between two consenting adults" and have so many exceptions their idea of consent comes attached with a "terms and conditions" form.
