captain jack harkness.

d’ya mind if i stay with you tonight? so we can cuddle up and maybe try t’catch up jus’ a bit? i can use you as a body pillow and i can sober up. sd’s tardis is linked up with braces’ — so i can jus’ kinda come and see you tonight, if you want. y’can cuddle with baby brax too.

yeah, you can stay with me. no one is here tonight, so it's just me. but yeah, bring the baby. it's alright. we don't have to talk tonight, just ... yeah. c'mon over.

jesus, i will do anything. my liver would probably appreciate this gesture of everything too — so maybe it would fry before i hit my 40s. [teasing.] but yeah, i’m up for whatever. i just miss you and i just …. miss everything about you. i never get tired of chasing after you, captain harkness.

alright, then we'll get together and we'll talk. we'll have dinner and we'll just spend some time together. and i told you that you wouldn't. and i've missed you. you are my best friend.

yes, i thought about that too. and we can do whatever you want. start slow, i suppose, go out for a weekend, talk, figure things out. i'm up for tis if you are. 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

i love you too. are you really really drunk? again?

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Give me a day or more. I am gonna make her think of what she has done and maybe it’ll be a successful move into earning speaking terms between you both again. I can’t watch this game. This mess. If she doesn’t come back to you, she needs to at least act her age and talk to you.

I have no idea what it's going to take, to be honest. She talked, I listened, but she won't listen at all. So if you can get through, more power to you.

She needs to be fuckin’ careful. I don’t want her dead if she goes back t’Owen. Especially after th’ horror stories I heard from Anwen and Jackson via Cooperish. I’d ask ya t’talk t’her t’tell her t’be careful …. but that’ll be pointless. Jus’ …. I dunno. I want her with somebody tha’ isn’t abusive and ‘m selfish enough t’want her back wit’ you.

    Then you need to say something to her. Her and I are not on speaking terms. She made her choice and I made mine, we're at an empasse. She doesn't want anything to do with the life that gave her you or the rest of your siblings anymore. I did not want her to go, but it was a choice she made.

Yeah, she met up with him th’ other day. But she made calls t’Owen. She’s turnin’ back int’ th’ gross whore again. and it’s embarrassing.

    That doesn't really shock me any. I'm not giving up my family or who I am to placate this need to be #1 she has. So if that's what she wants to do, by all means. I wish her well.

     Mmm, yeah, she seems to be spiraling into something. I've heard things about Owen and Rory, among others. 

    Not much to tell. Your mother can no longer share and gave me an ultimatum. So she chose to walk and I let her. 

Gwen listened and understood as much as she could, but she checked out when she realized that there was no use in speaking about any of the subject to the man who was married to somebody she simply couldn’t stand to be around. Maybe she’d go off elsewhere. Who knew, Gwen just needed to go the fuck away for awhile. “I am gonna run for awhile. Probably go t’th’ house in the US or somethin’. Stew in Paris or London. Have fun wit’ your husband, ‘m out.” She couldn’t even be civil with the anger coursing in her now. Switching from the sheer pain and hurt to the feeling of pure anger and inability to stand with the problem. “‘m gonna take baby Brax wit’ me, i’ll have m’goddamn phone on.”

   Jack exhaled and shook his head. He was done trying to reason with her when she wanted what she wanted and he wasn't willing to budge or give her what she wanted in this case. "Whatever you want," he said quietly, in a defeated tone. There was no more reasoning to be done here now. She wasn't going to listen and she wasn't going to be happy until she got what she wanted and he just was not willing to move on the subject. So they were at a standstill. He took a step backward. "Yeah, whatever you say Gwen. You could have all my time and attention and you still wouldn't be happy." He wasn't sure what to even say anymore. "I actually have a wife too or have you forgotten her?" he muttered and took a step away. "Take your Doctor with you so I at least don't have to worry about you." He turned and started down the hallway. 

Do whatever you need to do. I'll be here when you decide whatever it is you actually want.

"And when I don’t go, s’because I don’t want t’be ‘round you two at th’ same time. Wanna cuddle? Oh but you hafta cuddle with Braces and I because we’re married and blah blah blah. I am jus’ so goddamn done with it. I wish he never came ‘round. I wish he stayed where he was — I wish he never came ‘round. I wish nothing with him happened. Y’jus’ don’t get it. Y’don’t. S’frustratin’ when th’ man you’ve loved for all these years went from totally in love with me t’fallin’ on his face for this super fancy two hearted man with a box that can travel time and space. Yeah, you’re not SJ — but you hafta understand th’ paranoia I hold. Wakin’ up and it’s all goddamn gone." Gwen began crying again, that was literally about it. She was done and ready to puke. The thought of even walking away hurt Gwen, but — she was sucking it up til she could speak more. "I was jus’ fuckin’ usin’ SJ as a goddamn example fer m’fears, so chill th’ fuck out. You have th’ same fear so I was tryin’ to tell you tha’, but you obviously don’t get it. Period. At all."

Jack shook his head and looked at her, tilting his head a little bit. He was tired of this argument already -- her petulance over the Doctor was getting on his nerves a little bit. He couldn't lie about it but he wasn't exactly going to say it out loud either -- because no matter what he said, she had stopped listening about twenty minutes ago. "I am not SJ. I have not run off and left you for him. i have not run off and left RG for him. I am here, aren't I? Yes. Have I gone anywhere? No. The only time I was gone somewhere you couldn't go, I was kidnapped." he made a sound and shook his head as she kept going. "You don't think I dont' have the same paranoia because of SJ? I do. And I get it. But you have to work through them. Be mad at the man who made you this paranoid, not at me." 

It was still hard to think about all the times she flirted with Braces, it was still the sole fact that it was hard for her to bare the fact that he was dual hearted and had a police box that could run away in all of time and space, maybe it was just too much thinking. But — he was everything she wasn’t and it was hard to swallow the anger and upset feelings concerning Braces and his entrance into the relationship. Her stomach was tearing all up, trying to not get upset about the conversation and all of which she was saying. “I know ‘m a grown woman, but s’hard, okay. I should have jus’ stepped back when he came around instead of stickin’ ‘round t’let m’self bottle this all up for a year for then months later, it’ll spill like this. I shouldn’t have done this. I knew I wasn’t able t’handle all of this. Yet, I did it. I know s’not a competition, but I have insecurity and abandonment issues concerning tha’ kinda stuff. Especially with SJ running off multiple times wit’ th’ Doctor. and so do you. So y’understand wha’ I mean. ‘m so fuckin’ scared tha’ i’ll wake up and he’ll have taken you. ‘m jus’ unsure where t’go from here.”

   Jack stood there and listened to her, exhaling slowly and pursed his lips together. He didn't say anything for the longest time and just listened to her, raising a brow at the comment about SJ. "I want you to tell me the last time that Braces and I ran off somewhere. The last time I traveled anywhere in this TARDIS was ... I believe when the Fleshsmiths had me." He watched her for a second. "If I go anywhere on a TARDIS, it's either with you and PD or with Emrys. Braces and I usually go places with you and not without you. But more over, we're old and we're homebodied so we stay in one place." He stepped in close and lowered his voice. "And I am not fucking SJ." He pursed his lips together and stepped back. "I go where I want to go and when I want to go. I don't have much use for traveling anymore. There's no point when you've seen the universe already." 

and he did. That was another thing. She knew she had no room to speak of this, he wasn’t even her Jack. Her Jack was six feet under after an adventure with their Doctor. But her insecurity crippled her so much that she could feel the tears bubbling up in the corners of her eyes and her vision blurring. Gwen couldn’t make her mind up, but she just wanted to get out. but she wanted to keep Jack. But she couldn’t do both. Wiping her eyes when the tears began to finally spill from the rims of her eyes, the Welshwoman shook her head in silence. “I am a grown woman and I love you. but I dunno if I can do this — I can’t compete. I get a healthy chunk, but I have this deep pit that says I can’t handle it enough to stay. I just want t’run from everything. I want to start anew.” Gwen didn’t want to, it hurt to even utter those words. They burned her tongue worse than acid. “I love you. I love you, y’know I do. But I don’t know. I jus’ don’t. I can’t compete with somebody like him. I really can’t.”

    Jack stood there and looked at her, exhaling slowly as he slid his hands into his pockets. "This is not a competition. Relationships are not about competition. And if there is one, it's the people in it making it one, but I am not making it one." He shrugged. "I wouldn't be here if you didn't have something to offer and you know that. So I think you need to stop letting your paranoia eat your brain into pieces. Yes, he offers things you can't. RG offers things that the two of you can't. None of you are perfect and that's why I love you. I don't get why you can't see that." He took a step back. "You're making it more than it needs to be. You're getting the largest chunk of them all and yet you still think this way." He would never really understand it. "You're a grown woman. I can't make you stay. If it's not worth it to you anymore, then I really don't know what else to say." 

Sure you will. And I’m a virgin.

Alright. I'll take your word for it. Even if I know it's bullshit.