Nonlinear Homestuck Liveblog

Okay, that drama's over too.

And back to this character select screen that you didn't see me properly do the first time.

Hmm...let's see. The bottom one is Derse, then there's the Hat Plotline and Butterfly Girl and John (unless it's Jake? i can't really tell the difference between them.)

Is that Roxy upside down on Derse? She looks different, but it's entirely possible it could be her. Still, the whole "Jake" thing makes the Butterfly Girl plotline seem enticing too...

Let's go with the one I don't want to do. Why not?

Is that blood? O_O

Hat looks familiar, too. Stupid rules, wish I could find out why.

And we meet the fourth sprite!

Hmm. I wonder if it has any relevance that the four sprites (Bluesprite, Jaspersprite, Davesprite, Jadesprite) have the same colors as the typing colors of Jane/Roxy/Dirk/Jake? Perhaps that's why I haven't seen them in this earlier part of the comic too? They must be connected in some way.

Poor Bluesprite looks pretty miserable. What happened to her?

Aaaand that's the end of this plotline.

Looking at some of the images in the banner.

What the fuck?

Apparently Jade and Jadesprite are in a relationship? And Dave/Roxy (t[hat's not Roxy, is it...) on Derse - Dave DIES in that plotline. ((Unless that's not dave and Davesprite just has this person's glasses, which is a possibility.)]

)

Four characters. Jade, possiblyDave, John, and...not Roxy. The connection between a name I heard earlier is obvious. It's Rose.

DAVE/ROSE PLOTLINE ASAP

It's Derse, and its moon!

This whole place is going to be destroyed a couple thousand pages in the future. Paints an ominous tone to it.

There's Bunny Robot with the spiky ball. Why is that relevant? Do WV and Little Black Dude even matter anymore?

Even more strange parallels confirmed...

These people have the same naming pattern as the others (though i havent seen John's yet.)

TT = Dirk, Rose, the articulate, intelligent one. I really like Dirk, but known nothing about Rose...hopefully that'll change!

TG = Dave, Roxy, the one who doesn't give a shit about grammar

GT = Jake, John (presumably - know jack shit about him), the one who looks just like the other

GG = Jane, Jade...They're not as similar to each other as the others, but I can see the resemblance. Both are the team leaders, I guess, and both turn evil (also presumably).

Something does seem to be up here. When Jade met Jake, she said something like "it's nice to finally meet you"...implying that these people exist outside of each other's realms. Maybe this story is switching between Dirk/Roxy/Jake/Jane or Rose/Dave/John/Jade, instead of the latter being a weird subplot? But then who is Nepeta and who's Butterfly Girl?

I'm withholding judgement there, since I should find out more in the Butterfly Girl plotline.

New Developments:

spiky ball is a fucking bomb. What do these kids need with a bomb?

Liv Tyler,  most awesome of the robot (cage?) bunnies

Dave, due to the photo I saw a little bit earlier, I think that it's quite likely that you are dead. :(

In fact, only Jade made it to the others. Did Dave, John, and Rose all die?

God damn this is really fucking dark.

Dave is connected with Time Shit, and Rose is connected with Light Shit.

Who is Jack? Another extraneous character like Nepeta? Some kind of villain, I'd guess.

It looks like fighting Jack was a serious matter. Did he kill Dave?

Confusing.

Dave died, Jade had to resuscitate him, something about frogs and jacks.

Going to ignore it for now, focus on something that makes sense.

Rose seems very analytical and judgemental, and not nearly as considerate as her TT counterpart.

Not really liking her. She also seems condescending.

They do seem to be good friends, though. I'm sure linear readers are extremely attached to these characters, even though their deaths are pretty much inevitable at this point.

So:

Rose was a shitty seer of light, and dave a knight of time.

Had to highlight The Tumor. Bad choice of color there.

And it seems like ready to face it or not, death is what is coming to young TGand TT.

What...

What is going on in this picture?

Rose, for one, looks happy. Good for her.

So let me get this straight...

These guys are flying the moon of Derse into the sun, with a bomb on it.

It is perfectly capable of autopiloting itself, yet Dave still wants to fly on it.

Wow, these kids are fucked up...

Could this POSSIBLY make even less sense

And I thought Dirk/Jane/all those other fuckers' arc was depressing.

Bahahaha, what

Aren't swords supposed to be, like, made of iron?

What are dreambubbles?

How is he able to show her what happened? I thought this was just a flashback...?

That looks awesome, though.

Derse still had its moon IIRC with Jane/Dirk/Roxy/Jake, which makes absolutely no fucking sense. Must have reconnected, or a new one was made. But you can't make a new moon...Why are moons attached by chains in this world, anyways?

It looked very different before.

I guess the only possible option here is that the people with the same colors as the sprites have their plotline happen:

A) in an alternate universe. This seems unlikely, but there are some clues hinting at it, like the same chat names, and the whole Derse dilemma. Derse also looks somehow different in this picture...

B) long in the future. Dave hinted that timetravel was possible, and it's possible Derse could have had some restructuring long in the future. It's implied that time is Dave's thing though...how could Jade use it?

Yeah, Rose, YOU might be the one with the ASPD. Unless something else is going on here...

Last image for today.

So Dave gets to be spared, for now. (There's also some references to a movie I haven't watched that's apparently shitty crappy). And dreambubbles let you chill out with ghosts, you can enter them if you're sleeping or dead - or wide awake, apparently.

Things don't look like they're ending well for rose.

So Tumblr deleted my entire post.

I have some images saved, but I'm forbidden from rereading due to my challenge.

Luckily, due to a quick acquisition of Lazarus, this will never happen again. (Thanks, OlderSister.)

Now, let's briefly recap what I learned last time:

>in which I learned that this is basically a character select screen, and can select all the different plotlines because i rolled high last time!

I chose the sprite image first because I wanted to learn more about the sprites

>in which we learned that Davesprite is the Fresh Prince of Belair

>in which we learned that Jadesprite has some weird origins

>in which we learned that sprites are helpful guides with mysterious origins in the past

>in which we learned that Davesprite and Jadesprite have had some really hard luck.

>also Jadesprite didn't want to be borught back as a sprite, and sprites aren't the actual plaeeyrs - there's a "real jade" out there.

>in which we learned that dave is a really interesting and awesome character.

Moving on.

>robo bunny, little black dude, WV

>robot bunny steals wallet with white/black spiky ball, takes it out, gets away with it

>WV is completely oblivious and it's adorable

Oh, jeez, that's a gargantuan number. We're going to be here for a while - I'll try 15 pages each post, but no guarantees.

Now where do we start from?

Still earlier than the 6000s and 7000s we hit before, but nowhere near the first half of the story. Oh well. Let's begin!

WHOA.

What happened to Homestuck? o_o Is that Jade? Why is she a dog-faced ghost?

Jeez, she looks miserable - things must have gone terribly wrong for her over the past seven hundred pages. :(

Oh, so this is JADESPRITE! New character!

Could this possibly be the other body of themselves that were being assassinated later on - like Jade controls both Jade and JADESPRITE?

Considering that JADESPRITE is crying, something really bad must hae happened.

But hey, we get to meet Dave! :D

Whoa, look at DAVESPRITE! :O

He's covered in yellow stuff and missing a wing, but he looks pretty cool anyways - is that blood? - and he's got a sword

But the fact that these are sprites is making me uncomfortable - did they like, lose their real bodies, and are they forced to become sprites?

I'd think Jade respects Dave, but I'm not sure. Especially since I haven't actually seen Dave later in the story...Is he going to die?

Oh god that would be really terrible, I hope that doesn't happen.

AAH THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE TOOK ME BACK TO 5774 I SAW NOTHING MANUALLY GOING THROUGH THESE PAGES AGAIN

Ahh, ok, this is more like it

I think this is another plotline, soemthing else happening - this is just a small purple ship flying through space

It's WV?

Apparently with a new change of clothes and some companions. The little black dude looks familiar and the bunny robot does not.

Black dude takes WV's wallet, which makes bunny furious for some reason? Then this chase ensues:

It seems WV, who seemed like a silly character who would eat rocks, has still managed to be important to the story

Is the legendary treasure in the wallet? Why does black dude want it?

Sudden random scene change again.

This place is full of random scene changes. I guess just like we had to deal with that 2x bullshit later in the story, at this point in the story everything turns green and there are random scene changes.

Either that or this is a character select screen that I fucked up by not rrolling anywhere near.

Anyways, this log is very interesting:

WHO ARE THESE CHARACTERS? :O

Two brand spankin' new characters. One is AC, which presumably stands for something, and it's for the internet chatting app that Dirk was using to talk to Jane. And the other: JASPERSPRITE? Using a computer, but more importantly, Jaspersprite is a cat!

So what is a sprite? We've seen three so far: JADESPRITE, DAVESPRITE, and JASPERSPTRITE. Each of them has a color associated with one of the main characters later, I think: Jake's, Dirk's, and Roxy's. Maybe this log will give me clues.

So AC's name is Nepeta, and she(?)'s talking about timelines.

Nepeta is being all cat-like and making bad cat puns/cat faces just so that Jaspersprite can understand her. It's absolutely adorable!

...I don't.

Doing something like that could have serious consequences, but John lives at least 500 pages after this, so I'm not that worried?

I should probably be worried for Nepeta/JASPERSPRITE, but I just met them. (Also, how does Nepeta know what's going to happen?)

AC: :33 < did you ever have someone nice back on earth who you loved?

JASPERSPRITE: Rose!!!!! I loved rose. :3

So Jaspersprite originally belonged to Rose, and lived on Earth, but later became a sprite? This seems like some really interesting backstory.

Nepeta said some things about relationships that I really doubt are relevant to what's happening right now, but I noted them anyways.

JASPERSPRITE: You shouldnt lose hope! JASPERSPRITE: I have another story that might give you hope even though it should be noted again that im only a cat. AC: :33 < oh? JASPERSPRITE: Yes one time i was with rose and i was sitting there dressed up in my suit with her as happy as can be. JASPERSPRITE: But then she disappeared! JASPERSPRITE: The whole place disappeared and i was in another place. There was no rose there was someone else. JASPERSPRITE: I guess i loved her too in time but never as much as rose it just wasnt the same. JASPERSPRITE: I kept waiting to see rose again but never did and finally i lost hope that i would and then i died. JASPERSPRITE: But then i became alive again and i got to see her and i was so happy! Purr purr purr purr purr. JASPERSPRITE: Thats my story and thats why i think theres always hope even if you die.

I have no idea what this story means anyways, but that's the story of Jaspersprite.

How did he become a sprite? What happened that took him somewhere else? Who even is Rose?

Last time, we got to meet Wimp, Butterfly Girl, and WV, all of which are (presumably) still alive. So, let's delightfully summarize what I think I learned about their characters! And then, we will go on with the adventure!

This iis Wimp.

Poor Wimp looks like he's been through a shit ton over the past few hours, or even days. He's covered in blue goop, he's crying, and he's writing out cryptic messages with 8s inserted everywhere on the walls. The main thing that they're asking him to do are to kill himself (or Butterfly Girl) and he can't bring himself to do it.

Because of this failure, I really don't envision him lasting very long. He seems weak and Wimp-y, and considering how many characters died, his chances are very slim.

I'm sure linear readers are quite attached to him at this point, but I don't really give a fuck.

Butterfly Girl!

She exploded and resurrected. She is on Prospit, unlike Roxy and Dirk. Not that that makes much of a difference - Dirk said that those on Derse would be against it in the end.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure about that. Could he have been lying?

I don't know much about her but she trusted Wimp, and doesn't seem likely to die, for what that's worth.

Also, she has weird ears too. Huh. They look like horns.

WV doesn't seem very intelligent, and he's probably been watching "the windy boy" on this screen until the windy boy died. But he has the secret treasure, some ring, which is presumably very important to the plot of the story.

And now, Jade!

WOW, this page has a lot of information.

First of all, Jade is sitting on a machine that looks similar to the one Dirk deployed. She also looks very different from what she looked like before (in the future), suggesting another Magical Explosion Clothes Swap.

Imminent windfall suggeests...I have no idea. Then the text:

Who is "he"? Some kind of angry alien, apparently - who Jade knows. I wonder if he'll die? Probably. It's also April when this happens, Jade is in some place with wintry weather, she previously lived on an island and came to this place with wintry weather once the story started.

Also, annihilation of humanity. And she's alone, except for Karkat.

/dumb observations over

Ahh, so Karkat waas the one trying to talk to her!

Hmm, he has horn-like things too. Interesting...are Wimp, Butterfly Girl, and Karkat all goat aliens that look similar to people? Aliens would be an interesting thing to have factor into this story.

Anyways, Jade seems awesome right now. Let's see what presents she gives herself!

...

The KRINGLEFUCKER.

Oh my god.

What? Roxy and Jane, with different colors, talking aobut what's happening to Jade?

Okay, it's not the end of the world, they probably have the same abbreviations just like they have very similar names. TG is clearly John, who may or may not actually live to see the end of this?

Jade and John seem like pretty good friends. Not sure what this is accomplishing, though, other than a wonderful Christmas celebration.

Several Christmas-themed pages later...

Alchemy? :O Whoa, this is more serious than I thought it wwas.

Wait, she just draws something, and it magically becomes real?

Whoa! That's awesome!

You combine Rose's HEADBAND with... some sort of of fluffy ball you drew? This isn't really working. Also, this pointless thing was absurdly expensive for some reason.

New name: Rose! Who is that? Another one of the aliens? But it does seem similar to Roxy...it could be another human?

You simply draw a pair of earmuffs, and make them. Yay!

That is the best alchemy ever.

No bullshit, no combining ridiculous things, no turning lead into gold. Just draw it, ad it exists, at the price of some things that look like fruit gushers.

She then proceeds to make a bunch of random things, like Lunchmuffs. And this treasure:

You make the JOHNNYTOP! Finally, a difficult to use hands-on computing solution that does nothing but roll around of his own accord while talking about his emotions and reading books fast! FINALLY!!!!!!

How did we ever live without the Johnnytop?

Later...

You have secretly wondered whether your grandpa was actually Iron Man in his younger years. It would explain so many things, including why this armor is here.

Jade is descended from Iron Man.

This has jjust gotten even MORE awesome than it was before

THAT is cool looking.

While half of these characters are just fucking around and dithering about, Jade is working hard to make good gear that'll let her succeed, and live long enough to be there near the end.

Of course, it does nothing to help her. She ends up a slave of a monster infinitely more powerful than she is.

What are these?

"Silly sun-bleached blue lady portraits" does not explain why these are in Iron Man's house in the first place.

Jade's symbol looks like a dog's face looking behind her. Interesting.

This is ludicrously expensive.

Where did she even get all of this stuff?

Another name got thrown around. This time it's Dave.

I'm kind of disappointed that I'm not going to be able to see her use all this sweet gear. But she is quite the skilled alchemist.

The duttle is weirding you out a little. You believe you will keep your distance from the duttle.

She is truly the best alchemist that has ever lived.

Oh, god, just knowing what's going to happen to her is the worst! Poor Jade!

Jade: Combine rifle, iron lass suit and particle accelerator

It worked! The result is a huge kickass PROTON CANNON. Obviously you can only wield this weapon in your IRON LASS SUIT.

Oh my god. LOOK AT THAT THING! How can ANYTHING withstand the assault that's going to dish out!

Oh my god. LOOK AT THAT PRICE! How can ANYTHING withstand the effect on the economy that's going to dish out!

Or you would, if you were able to afford the thing. Dave turbo-torrented you a lot of grist, but you don't have THAT much.

Ahh, so this Dave is a rich guy, huh? Jade didn't earn all this herself. Though with this gear, she could probably head to then earest bank and threaten to murder all of them if they didn't give her everything they had. (Then again, what kind of bank has ten billion gushers?)

Who are you?

O_O

What the fuck is going on? What's that blue goop he's covered in? Why does it say 8M JJ8 and

Oh wait, it's backwards?

K8LL M8

What the actual fuck is happening here???

Steal his will.

It's what a thief does.

End this.

Who ARE these people? I remember Hussiebot had like 30 million characters on his big ass list and most were dead. Does that mean that these characters aren't going to survive - that only Dirk/Roxy/Jane will be the main characters later in the story?

What the fuck is the deal with the beginning of this?

O_O

This looks horrifying - is this dude writing this himself? Also what the fuck is the dael with his ears?

._.

I don't

What

Something is seriously wrong here. Can I have context for this situation? How is it even vaguely related to jane/dirk/roxy?

Okay, this gie a little bit more context, I guess

Wimp is being harassed by words on a wall and/or has lost his mind and is goijng crazy?

Then those other two are just somehow related to whateer pain he's going through back at the exploding honeycomb

Is my previous theory turning out to be correct?

Like, there's now five characters I've seen who explode and then resurrect in weird clothes

Jane/Jake ( ikeep forgetting him, what even is his deal?)/Roxy/Dirk blew up and they seemed like they wanted to

And butterfly girl was asking Wimp to kill her

This is beautifully fucked up

(also, it seemed like they were on Prospit - maybe the beginning adventures have Jane and Jake asleep there, and these other random characters having adventures and being born in explosions)

Or maybe all of the characters go through some kind of trial and they start dying off at an incredible pace

Jane/Dirk/Roxy are too traumatized to even talk about it anymore - they just pretend all of these people are still alive, that their adventures never happened, that nothing ever went wrong

No wonder Dirk is so obsessed with death...

Who the fuck are you, Snowman?

All right, so this is like a gauntlet - there are a TON OF CHARACTERS SIMULTANEOUSLY ALIVE RIGHT NOW and more and more of them are dying

GFuck, Jane/Dirk/Roxy/Jake aren't nearly as invincible as I thought

Now, narration, can you stay with this character long enough for me to get a good sense of who they are?

The windy boy is dead. The tragedy is overwhelming. All hope is lost. Oh well. Time to get out of this tin can!

Is Wimp the windy boy? Why does this character, WV, care?

So WV is stuck in wherever this is, and he needs power to open the door.

And this secret treasure is presumably very important and is what makes WV important as a character, even though all it is is this ring with four little white orbs on the sides.

Oh yeah, there's another thing you forgot about! You ate that delicious green nuclear rock earlier in the day, even though it feels like it was more than a year ago. Guess there's nothing to do but wait it out.

IT'S PSYCHO RAINBOW BLOODY GUY! :D

Oh, man, Psycho Rainbow Bloody Guy. I've wanted to know who you are and how you end up being comically irrelevant to the later part of the story, since, like, NEVER!

His name is Jack.

And he's opening a pumpkin.

I'm betting that there's not a bomb in there.

I feel like I'm missing out on some kind of joke here.

What's wrong with knives?

Bahahahahaha that is the BEST gif

He's not the sharpest tool in the shed. Although now that you think about it, he might be by default, since he just sent you all the sharpest tools in the shed.

I feel sorry for Jack.

...

I don't even know how to react to this

THIS GUY is the villain? I guess the "Batterwitch" is worse than he is, and she's behind everything, but we're supposed to take him seriously?

What the fuck happens to him?

Oh, yes.

This is the best use you could possibly find for this.

It's too bad this is the last page we get. I was looking forward to more :(

Yep, he's fine.

Also, apparently they are "the Crockers". That's an awkward-sounding last name. Tags updated!

The real question is, what is THAT?

It's huge, and it's somehow coming down from the sky - Dirk's doing it somehow? I don't understand

Oh, yeah, I was finding this strange. Especially since I've already heard their full names? I guess normal readers, up until this point, hadn't heard them yet. But that seems completely ridiculous! The story's been going on for a long time, and these characters STILL haven't been formally introduced?

Well, until now.

Roxy's room!

Looks like the typical teenager's room, except for the huge ass gun next to her laptop, and the martini on the other side of it.

Your name is ROXY. God DAMN do you love WIZARDS.

This has come up exactly zero times until now.

You wish and hope they are REAL, and that so too is their MAJYYKS AND STUFF. You enjoy writing FANPROSE FOR SAID MAGICAL MEN, but you think maybe it's NOT SO GREAT. You are however QUITE GREAT at the esoteric sciences, such as ECTOBIOLOGY, DARK FENESTROLOGY, and the delicate art of APPEARIFICATION. You have tended to accrue dead preserved SPECIMENS from your experiments, little to none of which AREN'T FELINE.

:D

I almost expected Roxy to be an idealized Mary Sue, selflessly working to help her friends 24/7, but she has her own weird interests (and presumably problems, like that martini) as well.

I have zero idea what that sciencey stuff means, but I'm sure it'll turn out to be relevant later in the story.

You aren't one to shy from A BIT OF GAMING, particularly the sort WELL PAST ITS PRIME; you have a real soft spot for OLD SCHOOL TECHNOLOGY. It is fair to say most of your leanings are governed by a BENT FOR NOSTALGIA. Your coding cred is totes ridic, basically making you the HOTTEST SHIT HAXXOR BITCH YOU EVER KNEW, as deadaly* to the grid ass* she is beatuiful*. You are known to nonseldomly employ a ROGUISH DEMEANOR toward the FELLAS, a habit not especially jeopardized by your noninfrequent INEBRIATION.

Is "noninfrequent" even a word?

Also, maybe this love for games is the reason that they start playing this game in the first place?

Which is to say, against the better judgment of one your age, you like to DIP INTO THE SAUCE now and then. Unless your MOM is looking, which happens to be virtually NEVER. And considering she has been known by the knowledgeable to be in possession of VISION OMNIFOLD, this strikes you as a particularly STUNNING LAPSE IN PARENTAL DILIGENCE. But you have good friends and many distractions to fill this VOID in your life.

You really would have to be quite the shitty mother in order to let your daughter drink whenever she wants - unless she's old enough to do that legally, which is really doubtful.

And suddenly, Dirk.

This room is een messier than Roxy's.

Important obserations:

the fuck is he watching?

PUPPETS, PUPPETS EVVERYWHERE

Is that a literal robot or some kind of fake?

Your name is DIRK. Holy SHIT do you love PUPPETS.

That's not unsettling or weird at all.

You possess the extreme dexterity to operate your FALSE FRIENDS UNSEEN, that is, when they are not pre-ambulatory through your LOVINGLY IMBUED MECHANIZATION. You dig writing COGNITIVE ALGORITHMS FOR SAID APOCRYPHAL MEN, and you think maybe that's FUCKIN' DOPE. Guess what else is dope? Everything ELSE YOU DO. You're a sickwicked autodidact on ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS, a selfmade MASTER OF MYTHOLOGUE, and a PRETERNATURAL POPCULTURE ACADEME.

I love how the writing style completely changes for Dirk's introduction.

I don't understand why some of these things are capitalized. Are those like his "skills" that he'd have if he were a character in a video game?

Operating puppets really isn't much of a skill...

If you weren't so DAMN ALOOF and actually let people GET A LOAD, you might get described all kindsa ways. Maybe tagged as a RENAISSANCE NINJA, PHILOSOPHER PRINCE, and FLASHSTEP PUPPETEER. Or perhaps a PANTHEONIC IRONICIST, GANGSTA LOGICIAN, LUCID WAKER and DERSITE SPY. Screw descriptors though, as if the shits you give ain't nil. You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?

lmao, but also, Dirk doesn't let people "GET A LOAD"? That seems like a recipe for disaster. If he's not tellign people about his interests, how does he expect to maintain a friendship?

I guess, like Roxy, Dirk is trying to help out his friends as well, and that's what his friendship is based on. I kind of want to see them talk now.

Against the better judgment of one your age, you BUILD ROBOTS, SET THEM TO KILL MODE, AND SPAR WITH THEM TO DEATH.

What the fuck o_o

So you go out of your way to build a robot that COULD KILL YOU for like two months

And then you get it to try and just kill it, all at the risk of your life

And you do this for fun and your parents are completely fucking okay with this

These kids are just so hilariously screwed up it's awful

That is, when you're not SENDIFICATING THEM TO FRIENDS, or DUELING THEM WITH RAP LYRICS. But you try to cool it on the deathmatch stuff when your BRO is looking, which is virtually NEVER. And considering he's had a reputation staked on some order of MARTIAL NOBILITY, this strikes you as a STAGGERING OVERSIGHT IN BROTHERLY VIGILANCE. You don't have the HEART to hold it against him, though. What will you do?

Bro? What about his parents?

Are they both orphans? Jeez, that's pretty depressing, actually...

WHOA, A CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN

That's cool as fuck, but it kind of causes some problems - like, does our page numbering system still work the same way or would I be fucking it up

I'm just going to ignore the buttons and insert "006370" into the page thing in the URL.

I have literally no choice in these character select screens at all, do I? :/

Screw these rules, let me roll big next time

You pick up your high octane LASER GUN. It's powered by the most deadly sciences you know of.

What does a usually-inebriated kid need with a laser gun? I mean, it's kind of given that these guys have been on adventures together, but I assumed it had something to do with Prospit and Derse. Are they usually in danger? Where does Roxy even live?

And now I'm back to understanding absolutely nothing.

Her mom wrote this?

That's pretty impressive, actually.

Also, I think we're firmly in the "WORLDBUILDING!" area of the story at this point.

Too bad I ran out of pages I'm able to read!

But before we go, let's roll once more...

Now, see, this isn't a good way to begin a chapter.

WAYS TO BEGIN A CHAPTER THAT DON'T SUCK:

Discuss what happened last time

Give an expectation of what you think will happen this time

Answer asks

Ramble about something completely unrelated to the liveblog

Die

Post music

By the way, Older Sister told me that there's apparently music in homestuck, and that after I get through a song I can find its name in the music credits and listen to it whenever I want

I don't really want to do that? I'm really not much of a msuic person

She's a bit crazy about this comic

Not that I can blame her, it looks pretty good

WAYS NOT TO BEGIN A CHAPTER:

With pictures of a FUCKING EXPLOSION that COULD HAVE KILLED a character

But there's the thing: I'm not doing this linearly. I've already been close to the end, and all four of these characters are still alive. So for the rest of the story, they're pretty much immortal, unless I skip to the end and spoil myself on some of their deaths.

Jane is fine.

And even if she's not, big fucking deal, she'll get over it. She can't die, and she'll end up turned evil and beating the fuck out of Jake anyhow.

Ta-da! Point proven, and also some confusing stuff clarified.

First of all, the fire looks very close to Jane. Is Pipe Man her neighbor? That would make sense, or at the very least explain how he's relevant.

Also aww jane has a cat!

God you wish stuff would stop exploding.

Yeah, it looks like Jane's having a really shitty day.

But at least she's on Earth right now, and not next to two weird looking planets that are going to blow the fuck up.

The cat just looks nice and relaxed, like it's no big deal that she just crashed onto the couch next to her.

timaeusTestified [TT] began bothering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 1:43

I knew the abbreiations stood for something!

gutsyGumshoe seems kind of like an old-fashioned kind of saying, but timaeusTestified...Timaeus is just some Greek philosopher person, so I've got no idea there. Oh well.

TT: I should probably warn you. GG: About what? GG: Yet another exploding game trap? TT: Well shit. TT: She already sent it?

...This has happened before?

No wonder Jane looks so miserable. Every time she tries to relax and play a game, stuff explodes in her face. And yet she's vital to the plot, so she can't just die - that doesn't happen.

GG: She was probably just trying to protect me from the Batterwitch's latest assassination attempt. GG: Sheesh, I can't believe you all finally got me saying "Batterwitch" too. Who would have thought?

Batterwitch? That is like the shittiest name for a villain ever, and Jane aknowledges that with me. Could this Batterwitch be one and the same with the person who fucked everything up later in the story? Or is it just like some baker who wants Jane dead for some reason

I'm guessing the first part of this story has nothing to do with this game. It's a group of kids, going on adventures, meeting new friends, these guys getting to know each other. Pretty touching, actually.

But this far into the story, the plot is starting to advance, and it's slowly inching towards the giant climax I just witnessed.

TT: No, it's weird because Lalonde was the one who rigged it to explode. TT: It's a bogus copy she coded herself. The real game file she downloaded is totally legit.

What the fuck, Roxy? (Roxy Lalonde has a nice ring to it, I'm guessing that's true as well. Why is everyone being referred to by last names right now?)

TT: File's fuckin' clean as a whistle. TT: A whistle that overcame a major substance abuse problem. Trying to get its life back on track. TT: The whistle is holding down a steady job now. It's taking things one day at a time. TT: Eat a fuckin' dinner off that whistle. GG: ... TT: Ok I'll shut up.

Dirk has a hilarious personality, but that doesn't make what Roxy did any less horrifying.

She tried to KILL her friend?? That's honestly a terrible, terrible thing to do, especially when these guys have been through so much together. Roxy's gone through such a substance abuse problem that she's lost track of what she wants to do, and started being stupid.

Or maybe she knows something I don't?

GG: Why would she do that? TT: To accomplish exactly what it sounds like got accomplished. TT: You narrowly averting the "fake" threat to your life, then getting your shit all hot and bothered at the Baroness over it. TT: Then you abdicate your heiress throne or something, and give up on this game as a big fuck you to the genocidal cake alien.

Genocidal cake alien.

Also, "heiress throne" is extremely sinister in the context of what happens to Jane later. Did the Batterwitch (or Baroness, they're probably two different people) have Jane planned out as their heir all along?

GG: :( TT: She's working through some problems right now. TT: Really doesn't want us to play that game. TT: So I guess this was the insane stunt she whipped up to derail the inevitable. TT: Kinda reckless for my tastes. TT: One of the above statements is a fucking lie, are you gutsy enough a gumshoe to spot it. GG: Maybe she was justified in taking such an extreme measure. I sure hadn't been taking her seriously. GG: She even warned me not to play it until she got back, but I went ahead anyway because I was too impatient! GG: Actually... GG: Now that I think about it, she was probably going to disarm it or such when she got back, seeing as her objective had essentially been accomplished already by an ACTUAL assassination attempt. GG: After that, I told her I would believe her about everything.

Okay, I guess this makes me feel a little better, but still - that's a RIDICULOUSLY extreme measure. "working through some problems" - Roxy is probably going through hell right now to do something so inconsiderate to a friend.

But if Dirk's monologue later in the story is true, then she's still selflessly trying to help her other friends with their problems, and isn't opening up about her own - except Dirk is seeing through it, and secretly respecting and caring for her.

And the worst part is that she's never goiing to find out.

GG: Shucks. GG: Am I an awful friend? TT: Nope. GG: I'm not so sure about that. TT: Well, before you go taking a massive sad crap all over your friendship credentials, consider this. TT: Only she could manage to blow up your computer with a nasty deathloop virus and somehow make YOU be the one to feel shitty about it. GG: Heh!

Heh

GG: I think our dream counterparts are all marked for death, and if we are to stand a chance, we must move quickly. TT: I agree. TT: Just heard about your assassination on Prospit.

Dream counterparts? Prospit?

Every time I think I have this story figured up, more bullshit comes up to remind me that i have no fucking idea what's going on.

Dream exposition!

TT: I was never technically asleep there. I was awake without realizing it. TT: Then I realized it. TT: And I sorta learned how to be awake there while awake here too. TT: I am awake there now, albeit pretending to sleep. GG: Pretending? Why? TT: For one thing, it gets a bit distracting managing two alert bodies in different places at the same time. TT: And for another thing, it's better to maintain appearances. TT: Everyone on Derse believes their heroes haven't woken yet. TT: Though they are both rumored to be very active sleep walkers. TT: Which is half true. She can't ever seem to sleep still. Goes off wandering for days. TT: Sometimes I've gotta go round her up from some godforsaken cranny of the abyss. Drag her tipsy ass home, tuck her back in. TT: Maybe I'll chain her leg to the bed if she doesn't wake up soon. TT: Though in light of the recent assassinations, her slumbering attraction to the void probably works to her advantage. No one ever knows where she is.

I'll refrain from copypasting the rest of this, but this particular section is pretty interesting. Two alert bodies in different places at the same time is the main thing that helps me understand all of this.

Maybe their adventures on Prospit and Derse (the two planets that we saw explode possibly?) were how they met - but Jane doesn't seem aware that Dirk was even awake, so that seems unlikely.

Jane/Jake are the honored heroes of Prospit, and Dirk/Roxy are those of Derse - but apparently Jane's been assassinated? I guess that would have happened previously. I'll need a lucky roll to figure out what happened there.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAT? :O

That flashing seemed...familiar. Not sure how, though.

TT: And it is again why you will be our leader. TT: (Sort of.)

The leadership rant was before this? That'll be a weird read - knowing that none of that will end up happening. It'll also be kind of sad.

Everything about Jane is sad ;_;

GG: I think Detective Pony was caught in the blast. GG: It's unlikely Acorn survived. :'( TT: A fitting end to a life of moral compromise.

But this is even MORE sad.

I can handle Jane and Jade turning evil but LOSING DETECTIVE PONY? >:o I cannnot handle these blasphemies!

Pipe Man is confirmed to simply be Jane's dad! The fire I saw was likely from the last explosion, then.

Unlike Jane, Pipe Man is not immortal. It is entirely possible that Jane's dad may have just died. THAT would suck for her! D:

But Pipe Man is safe as welll.

This is going to be just perfeect. Let's witness these problems firsthand, and grow more attached to characters who are going to have everything go wrong.

It looks like she's home

What is this book and why are we taking time out of the story to read it? Going to page 6347 in this post.

You've read this a million times already. It's one of your favorite gifts. Another gander at it sure couldn't hurt.

Hehe, gander

...

...

...

This is going to be a REALLY good read, isn't it?

Did Dirk write this? It said DS on the cover and it's orange, so I'm taking that as conclusive proof that he did!

This is clearly the best book ever.

But it also possibly reflects problems in Dirk's psyche. This is pretty late into the story, and this is all pretty dark humor. Is Dirk thinking about death and suicide and terror? Or was he always like this?

Whatever it is, Jane finds it funny, and I agree with her. (Also, not sure what the name comments mean?)

Going with the second theory.

There are so many golden lines on this page

"Whose cat is that?" the rural township inquired.

"It's not a pony, so who seriously gives a fuck."

Acorn nickered as if to say "Vile slurs omitted".

Pam Crandal rode another god damned pony up to the shed.

the whole crew beamed complacently about their bullshit horse club.

I love this comic

But knowing what's going to happen to Jane/Dirk is a problem

Poor Jane is going to get her free will removed from her and serve her enemies, and Dirk is going to get killed by Jade, who's presumably another hero at this point in the story

Dirk's last name is "Strider". Dirk Strider is the new tag.

Yeah, I'm back to having absolutely no idea what's going on.

These nobles were referred to as "Players", so is this whole thing a ideo game

Wait, that would make sense. The whole thing is like the text-based adventure games (the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy game and all those) and so maybe it's about games

But all of that can't just be a game, then it's all meaningless - nobody would care about this

So it's a game that turns real?

Why is she just starting to play it now?

...I'm still not used to roxy's typing style

She types like the average 10 year old

How old are these kids anyways?

Okay, so here's a recap of what I've done of Homestuck so far:

Pipe Man and a fire

Hussiebot rambling about characters for 8 pages

A glimpse of this dude named "John"

Meeting TT, Jane, Jake, and Roxy

Learning about how amazing of a leader and a person Roxy is

Hearing about how the "stone cold motherfucker" of a heart player really does feel for and care about (at least one of) his friends

Becoming depressed about how these poor kids have had to deal with a doomed session for so long

AND HOW IT'S STILL FUCKING DOOMED

Meeting Jade (whoevver she is)

Watching everything to to absolute shit

what are the last 1000 pages like

I really have no idea what anything is outside of the few pages that I've seen, but I'll give a rough idea of what the previous 4000 pages were about:

I think it starts out with a happy,  humorous, lighthearted adventure about the exploits of these four friends

And then it slowly develops, they start having difficulties and bad things start happening

As the story goes on, it gets darker and darker - Roxy gets into alcohol, maybe TT comes out as being gay (thats not dark but it could cause some romantic problems for Roxy - maybe that's what made her start drinking! oh god, no wonder TT feels so terrible and guilty) and they start having problems with their session

Eventually, it turns out that their session was doomed all along, and that their adventures were all pointless

Meanwhile there's this subplot with John and Jade (+ hussiebot possibly?), the "legendary heroes" who are supposed to bring hope and joy to the session

But something horrible happens to John, and then Jade finally gets there right as the two antagonists are about to kill the heroes...(The explosion didn't touch them for some reason? maybe it made them stronger?) AND THEN THIS SHIT HAPPENS

These people deserve a happy ending, but it looks like their story is going to be wrought with tears and unhappiness.

Homestuck has already surpassed my expectations - this seems like an in depth, interesting tale. And there's still a lot to discover - like what these adventures are, what these subplots are, and what a session is in the first place.

Is this the end?

We're pretty close to the end of the story, and GT and GG (assuming I have their identities right) seem really defenseless in this image. Is the author going to kill them?

Are we just going back to the window for another 40 pages?

Oh, god, I just met these two a while ago, but I'm already attached to GG - this would be so sad ;_;

Please don't die guys

A Dues Ex Machina appears!

Seriously, who the fuck are you, and where did you come from o_o Were you on Hussie's characterlist?

Dues Ex Machina saves the day! Evil dude is teleported far, far away from these people, to a place I don't really comprehend and don't feel like sharing.

They're just thinking "woah who are you"

They're literally as confused as I am right now

JADE: hi!

JAKE: ... JANE: ...

NAMES!

GG = Jane

GT = Jake

All three of these names are really similar o_o, just different by one letter

These characters have probably been planned out to be similar ffrom the start - is John one of them too? Also, are Jane and Jake siblings? Maybe they're all related in some way?

JADE: are you jake? JAKE: Um. JAKE: Yeah. JADE: hi jake! JADE: im jade JADE: its nice to finally meet you! JAKE: Wow. JAKE: Ummm. JAKE: Yeah. JADE: and you must be jane? JANE: Me? JADE: mm hm! JANE: Oh. JANE: I... JANE: Yes. JADE: its nice to meet you too jane JANE: Yes.

These guys are just so flustered

It's hilarious

Also, I wasn't aware that people can fuck up grammar while speaking. The more you know...

JADE: so uh... JADE: jake

JADE: where are your pants?

JANE: :| JAKE: :o

This whole exchange is hilarious.

I doubt they're related.

Oh, fuck, Roxy and TT are still in trouble!

Do they get a Deus Ex Machina too? Like maybe John will actually turn out to be relevant to this story?

O_O

Jade, I have no idea who you are, but that looks unpleasant

oh fuck

I guess Deux Ex Machinas don't come cheap in Homestuck.

They're all fucked again, because it looks like the other antagonist is a serious fucking deal. Poor Jade...

OH FUCK

JANE TOO?

THIS IS NOT WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AFTER AN INSPIRING SPEECH THAT SHEDS LIGHT ON CHARACTER DEVLOPMENT

IS EVERYBODY GOING TO DIE NOW

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS COMIC

Oh no TT what are you DOING

He cares about Roxy so much and he's like hurling himself at this monster even though she just MIND CONTROLLED two people; he's sure as hell not letting them get her

Meanwhile Jake is shitting his underpants and Jane looks like she's going to murder him

Who even is Jake? We've gotten like zero development on how he's related to this whole thing at all...And Jade has conveniently vanished

OH WAIT, NEVER MIND, SHE'S BACK, AND SHE'S JUST LIKE

"lol i dont care about your aliant sacrifice TT go die im gonna torture all your friends"

Jane is just beating the fuck out of Jake and enjoying it IMMENSELY

What the hell, Jane, you were so reasonable and caring to TT a few moments ago

Evverything just went to shit

Somehow it went from bad to worse

The one tool they had on their side that could sae them got turned against them and now they're getting DESTROYED

And this is the last of the 66 pages

I have to write a 100-pages-in summary about what I think Homestuck is about

TT: We were all designated for a session that was utterly inert. TT: A place where the mechanisms for success never even existed to begin with.

Ah, good old exposition dumps. Just reading this, getting updated.

TT: In such a place it makes sense that the formal leader would be neutralized, to made feel unempowered and static. TT: And it seems particularly fitting she would be the noble of life in a realm of the dead.

Noble of life? Which of the four is that? I'd guess either WEED or FACE - FACE makes more sense, since her blue color is closer to GG's.

This has been a really depressing arc, hasn't it?

TT: A realm that foretold of a life player who felt lifeless, a hope player who felt hopeless, and a heart player who was just a stone cold motherfucker.

And the fourth?

TT: When we talked about leadership, and I was all on my high horse telling you how shit would go down... TT: I also said I would be the one "pulling the strings." Remember? That I'd be the functional leader of our party. TT: And there might have been something to that, in a different session. TT: But what good is a "man of action" in a place where action itself is intrinsically fruitless? TT: So it's occurred to me that by some tragic flaw in its design, our session was meant to be leaderless. TT: And I'd feel safe concluding that. Except for a feeling that's been gnawing at me.

What do they mean by "session"? The official definition is "a period devoted to a particular activity" but what is that activity? Waiting? What's the point of the session?

I have no way of knowing what's going on at this point, but I should find out shortly.

TT: It's the feeling that it would make perfect sense if a session like this had a dark horse leader. TT: A leader who was invisible to us all along. Fittingly, a void player to lead a void session. TT: She would be a leader not in name or in spirit or in function, whatever that means. TT: But more of an emotional leader, who would selflessly try to hold everyone together while the rest of us did our best to fall apart. TT: And Roxy has been that for us every step of the way, going unnoticed and unappreciated. TT: Think of how much shit she's had to put up with from all of us. TT: She never complains, never turns it around and makes it about her problems. TT: She just works her ass off making sure we all stay friends. TT: If that isn't a leader, I don't know what is.

I love Roxy even more now.

She seems like an amazing character, and I bet I'll enjoy reading about all of her exploits soon in the future. Being drunk half of the time, having incompetent and problem-wrought friends, the "dark horse" leader of an inherently fucked up session...

Welcome to Homestuck, a voice echoes in the distance.

TT: So that's how crazy it is for her to think I'm disappointed in her. TT: The truth is, she's the most amazing person I ever knew. TT: She's everything in a human being I wish I could be, but can't because I'm in my own way. TT: Honestly, I'm not even sure if I'm worthy of dying next to her. TT: I think she probably felt bad for hitting on me all those years. Like I was getting fed up with her, or something. TT: But all it really did was make me feel guilty. TT: That I couldn't give her what she wanted.

TT: Like, settle down and have a couple weirdo goddamn kids with her some day. TT: I guess there were times I thought about it. Being all alone on Earth with her and stuff. TT: I couldn't though. TT: Have to stay true to myself. TT: Still, she would deserve it. TT: Nobody deserves to get all the things they always wanted more than she does. TT: And it suddenly seems kinda stupid that I think these things about her but she doesn't even know it. TT: I guess I should tell her all this some time.

It's ok, TT. I'm sure she understands.

Or maybe she doesn't. (Also, why can't he give her what she wants? "Stay true to myself". Was I right with those random tag speculations? o_O)

Our duo of villains.

The explosion is imminent.

GG: Uh, Dirk... GG: Something's happening.'

TT: Tell her that I'm proud of her. TT: And as a person she's everything I wish I could be. TT: I wish I could be as nice and loving and selfless as her. TT: But can't. TT: Because I'm too busy being me. GG: Dirk!!!

I would nevver have guessed that THIS was the context behind the rainbow explosion and appearance of four characters.

I don't know the story henind these villains, but I've gotten a good idea of the story behind the nobles. This is going to be good.

Also, Dirk keeps on rambling - he genuinely cares for Roxy. That makes him the Hope player, since he's clearly not a stone cold motherfucker.

Whoever these two are, they must be pretty damn powerful to be able to destroy two planets, which are presumably plot-important. The story is coming to a conclusion, fast.

Boom.

Theories: TT is the Hope player and is one and the same with UNDERPANTS and possibly John.

HEART is a stone cold motherfucker, who I'm sure isn't very good friends with everyone else. GT gets like none of this monologue.

WEED, Roxy, TG, is the dark horse leader of the session. FACE (GG) is less so, but she tries her best and presumably has problems of her own.

I quite like these four characters. Looking forwards to the next part.

66. That's a lot, it'll take six and a half posts just to get through the pages selected here.

WOW! This is incredibly close to a previous roll we had, 7742. Because of that, we'll get a bunch of continuous pages as context for what we previously saw, and then we'll skip 7742-7769 straight to 7770, which basically lets us spoil the ending for ourselves early.

Now, let's find out what the heck the explosion came from, and also pray to our dear lord that we don't have to deal with more x2 stuff. ._.

It's weird bloody guy! :O

This is a really good drawing (especially since it's animated) and this appears to be the guy who was threatening UNDERPANTS and WEED. He is very colorful.

THINGS I NOTICED:

He looks really mad about a PARN CITATION. Does that have something to do with porn? Did someone catch him watching porn and give him a citation?

A peg leg! Is this guy a pirate?

Yellow spikey ball on a chain behind him. It looks as if it's going to explode shortly.

REACTIONS:

Eh, organzing stuff this way was a neat idea, but I don't think it'll work

This looks like some kind of challenge that our foursome of explosionborn characters are going to have to get past: this crazy guy. He looks like he's going to kill everyone and everything.

Is this like the main antagonist? He doesn't look like it - it's possible he could be The Dragon or some kind of underling that's deadly. I still remember that there was someone else that FACE and HEART had to deal with in their first test as a couple...are they related?

Look at THESE BUTTONS! :O What do they do?

DIALOGUE! In a weird, script-style format, but I am going to have SO MUCH context for what's about to happen, you have no idea.

Three characters talking: GG, GT, and TG (named Roxy). I have no idea who these people are, but we may get future context. Also, PsychoRainbowBloodGuy is probably causing it. (PRBG is what I'll call him(?))

Okay, this page teaches us that they're apparently on moons. Which means that these are PLANETS, not spiky balls. In that case, it looks like PRBG is destroying a freaking planet.

Waiting for further confirmation on whether GG/TT/GT/TG (all four combos of G and T) are actually UNDERPANTS, FACE, WEED, and HEART. Which one is which? I would think TG is Heart, but Roxy is a girl's name, which just adds to the confusion.

Posting an image every time is starting to get to be a hassle. I'll just post my observations/reactions, and the page if it's relevant. Or just copy-paste the conversation.

Also, the x2 thing means this will be quite a short post. Yay, broken numbering systems...

The pic for the next page, thankfully, is just the purple planet, which has lots of buildings but doesn't seem all that large, unless the buildings are gargantuan. This way, I can focus on the conversation:

TT: Have you and Roxy been talking? GG: Yes. TT: Is she pissed at me or something? TT: She won't talk to me. GG: No, not at all. TT: Then what gives.

This is more just testing the block quote feature. HOW DO I TURN IT OFF okay got it.

GG: Are you disappointed in her? TT: Why would I be? GG: It seemed that way to her earlier. GG: When you chastised her for drinking again.

Roxy drinks? Oh, jeez, this isn't going to be very lighthearted and cheery, is it? I guess Roxy must have tried to quit, and then gotten back into it, and TT tried to stop her from doing it (and presumably failed and got mad.)

That gives me a vibe that TT would be the responsible one here. And GG is just kind of a middleman between the two, apparently.

Oh, god, what's that? It looks like we're getting closer and closer to the terror and explosions I saw.

TT: Well, yeah. I was upset she fell off the horse. TT: Or the wagon. The horse wagon. Whatever. TT: The thing you ride around on when you ain't drinking. TT: But so what. There was cotton candy in her hair, and she was being stupid. What do you expect? It was a moment of indiscretion.

There was cotton candy in her hair.

Can we all take a moment to appreciate how ridiculous that is? Why would you put cotton candy in your hair? Am I going to see this later? Is this something that the story is taking dead seriously - like it already happened? o_O

So before this talk while we hear a lot about moons that are probably going to explode, apparently she fell off the wagon and had a moment of indiscretion. (Have I spoiled the end of the whole "Roxy stops drinking" arc already? I might go through hundreds of pages of it knowing that she's going to put cotton candy in her hair and fall off the wagon.)

TT: Want to know what I really think of Roxy?

TT: I'm proud of her. TT: She's the only one of us who could face her problems and then get down to business and actually solve them. TT: No endless hand wringing or suffering in silence or any of that bullshit. TT: She saw she had an addiction. And then decided to fucking fix it. Just like that. TT: She's probably stronger than the other three of us put together.

This is touching, even though I know jack shit about the characters. Roxy seems strong, and TT legitimately cares about her.

...What's going to happen to these guys? Dx

Oh, fuck.

It's our other antagonist, and she looks legitimately terrifying.

Look at that ridiculous hair, that giant double-edged trident, those bloody...things? hair holders? horns? holes in her hair? sticking out of her head.

And she's on that ship, coming towards the purple planet.

Better hurry up with your inspiring speech, guys. OtherAntagonist is coming for you.

TT: Remember way back before this started, we were talking. You and me. TT: And I was rambling at length about leadership, like I actually had a clue what I was talking about? GG: I remember. GG: You said I would be the leader of our team, in name and in spirit. GG: Although I never really felt like it.

I really have spoiled this for myself, have I? These characters have been through so much together, and there's been this whole adventure.

GG is their leader - that might explain why TT's talking to her and not to Roxy.

TT: See, to be perfectly honest, we are a party of losers. TT: Heroes make shit happen. But that's not what we do, or what we're even SUPPOSED to do. TT: We wait. TT: We wait for literally everything. We wait for other people to reach out first so we can fix our relationships. We wait for these legendary heroes to arrive and bring competence and promise to a futile situation. TT: Even now. Look at us. What are we waiting for? TT: To kill ourselves? For someone to come along and do it for us? TT: It doesn't even matter. TT: As the four nobles of the void session, we do what we were created to do. TT: We sit around on our asses. TT: Waiting.

Has the whole adventure gone this way? These guys just wait? What's a void session? Who are these legendary heroes? How are John and Hussiebot even related to this?

I've thrown myself into this adventure without any idea of what's going on, and this is what happened. Homestuck might have been fun to do the right way around.

I apologize for the hiatus my testing has caused. Let's start this for real

Here's the page I've left off on. Let's see what we can notice:

the ==> appears to be a way to navigate between pages.

No more glitchy double page stuff. Yay! That was weird, but it seems limited to a late part of the story.

There is a man with a flying pipe next to a fire. Also, a tree with a rope hanging from it.

What are you even supposed to do in a liveblog, anyways? Older Sister said "post your reactions" but I'm mainly making obserations for later dates.

Pipe Man has been added to the list of characters in my notes.

More Act nonsense. I guess for Homestuck to have the following it has, it has to be meaningful somehow. So what do these acts mean?

I know that somewhere in the 7000 range the act is "ACT 6 ACT 5 ACT 1 x2 COMBO" which seems completely random and ridiculous. This is just ACT 6 ACT 1, though. So I'm guessing Homestuck is subdivided into acts? (Also, this looks more like it was drawn in MS Paint than the rest of the comic.)

I don't understand why it says there are so many, though. Act 6 act 1 act 6 act 5 act 1. Are the acts being mixed together? Like, act 6 act 1 combines act 6 and act 1, and the x2 combo throws act 5 into the mix? I don't know, hopefully the next roll will be earlier in the story so I can have more background on this.

Just when I thought that I couldn't be more confused...

WHOA SEVERAL PAGES LATER HOLY CRAP ARE THESE ALL THE CHARACTERS IN HOMESTUCK?

There are  a lot of them o_o

I'm not going to add anyone to my notes based solely on what I see here, but I will expand on the notes I already have (and also add Hussiebot and little person with pink hat).

At least, I'm guessing Hussiebot is this robot's name? The beautiful arrow, one of the few things in Homestuck I had figured out, has been replaced with words. I'm back to understanding nothing aaargh

Some of these faces aren't even people, there are like dogs in here. Also a white circle and a horse and a bunch of green monsters

It is The Window again! The same broken one that we saw earlier that seemed to be plot relevant. There's some kids that the author has access to, and a yellow boat that looks like it came out of the window and is coming towards the other one.

Why is this plot relevant?

We have also learned that Hussiebot is an AUTHOR AVATAR. That has unpleasant consequences: the author has a version of himself in the story?

What if none of this is plot relevant, and the author is just randomly inserting himself into the story to talk about things that are completely irrelevant over and over again, preventing livebloggers from seeing how UNDERPANTS and WEED deal with the giant bloody demon >_>. I like this theory, actually.

And now, we get to meet a new character! :D Hello John! And now, for the Question of the Century:

Is John UNDERPANTS?

Evidence in favor of this theory

John and UNDERPANTS both have very similar faces and glasses

It makes sense for John to be a main character in both of the places of Homestuck we've visited so far - they're close together and it seems like a lot of the other characters are dead.

Evidence AGAINST:

There are TWO different people who look the same in the image that has all the character in it. One looks more like John than UNDERPANTS and the other looks like Underpants.

John has a different symbol & color than the one UNDERPANTS had on his UNDERPANTS, which could mean character development but probably means they're different people

John appears connected with the window rants, where UNDERPANTS had his story RUDELY INTERRUPTED

I'm going to mark these people differently in the notes. Let's hope I'm not wrong

Also, this is it! Just ten pages this time. I think I'll do ten every post, just to save the problems that laggy gifs will bring if I get a series of them all in a row.

*example post*

i hope this won't actually get posted

Additional rules:

When I have read landmark total numbers of pages (100, 250, 500, 1000, 1500, 3000), I must write a summary of what I think Homestuck is about.

One post every day, excluding today. I'll use the queue for that kind of magic.

No following anyone, for fear of spoilers. .-. I will be a secluded little hermit.

The next rolls: