A MESS [LIKE ME]

Sex is a lot like depression. Middle class parents don’t realize that their children are having it.

jonathan to the hero’s family: if you guys want anything else uncle jonathan says yes

We all deserve to go to a masquerade ball. I deserve to be anonymous among to aristocracy for one night getting up to general debauchery in a swan-inspired mask that absolutely doesn’t hide my face well enough for me to be half as bold and sensual as I plan to act but everyone else is on board so it’s okay and we’ll all just not talk about it tomorrow.

the pizza guy just looked straight behind me, smiled, and went “you both enjoy your pizza” ? i’m alone in my apartment???

*narrows eyes*

As I said before give 1 of 2 responses: 1) Smile and shake you head and point to nothing, “Oh no, he doesn’t like pizza.” Then close the door. 2) Wide eyes and whisper in a scared voice. “You can see her too.”

IT GOT BETTER

you ever meet someone and get that “I could love you” feeling?? like you don’t know them well enough yet to actually love them but they are incredibly your type and you vibe with them so hard and you know you could??

Vanya: There is a master key and a spare key for the Academy. Five has them both. When I asked, “what if you die, Five? How will we get in?” He said, “if I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks".

Please don’t let us live in a world where Riverdale gets renewed but One Day at a Time doesn’t

That man is Jeff Bezos.