The little derp that could.

TIL pangolins walk on their hind legs 

We spent the last 4 years making this lil game about collecting creatures, farming, dancing, and other stuff—and it’s finally out now!

PC: https://epic.gm/ooblets

Xbox: https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/p/ooblets-game-preview/9nb4gblptd0s

there’s this trend of “white people only supporting poc who are Like Them in some way” that exists, and its disheartening when you feel like people only care about one part of your existence. 

my friend is reviewing the copy and my groupchats have been tearing it to pieces but basicallllllyyyyyyyy

Dina (ellie’s gf) gets spit on and called a homophobic slur like immediately after the dance scene ND used as queerbait candy at E3.

Ellie and Dina both get beaten close to death during the game. Dina, pregnant and planning on raising this child w Ellie, loses the baby and Dina and Ellie split up by the end of the game. Assuredly because of Ellie’s homicidal vengeance path she rips through the game. So there’s absolutely 0 happy lesbian shit, you can’t even look at the kissy dance cutscene and feel warm fuzzies because of all the shit that happens. Like, you know, spitting on a wlw of color and calling her slurs lol. 

Joel DOES get murdered, and Niel D’s absolute self insert spits on his corpse (whatever, i know it doesnt directly fall into lesbophobia but i personally know a lot of lesbians who love joel bc like.... accepting father figure.) 

Ellie gets her fingers bitten off at the very end of the game by Abby (the secondary protagonist/main antagonist of the game) and the final scene is you playing and forcibly failing a guitar playing QTE to, idk, enforce misery and that there can be absolutely 0 joy for Ellie in this world now. Dina is gone, she’s trying to do this in the house they lived in together, and it’s miserable.

 I’m honestly stunned the game didn’t just end in her killing herself, it actually would have been so much neater and more understandable if she had (albiet terrible for the game regardless, but can’t be worse than this.)

No lesbian sex or romance in depth, but Neil D’s manbun self insert gets to have anal sex (rendered, uncensored) w Abby while watching a porn spoof of crash bandicoot (i am serious) 

The post credits stinger scene is a flashback with joel and ellie where ellie tells him he should have let her die in the hospital, but joel says he would do it the same all over again (meaning save her) which essentially invalidates the entire events of the game and makes me think that ellie committing suicide at the end of the game would have been neater and more in line w Ellie’s character if we’d known that information sooner. Like, what’s the fucking point lol?? She wanted to die to save the world but Joel says no, it’s not like this comes at a midway point after Joel’s death where ellie is breaking down but remembers that and decides she’s WORTH IT to live, it’s after the credits entirely. Post game. It’s worthless outside of being like “haha remember how the first game had pretty okay writing and a happy end in the context of the story?? well, now both these characters are fucking dead or abused and traumatized beyond repair for the rest of their lives.” 

My friend playing it is like... so sad bc TLOU1 is one of his favorite games ever and this game has RETROACTIVELY destroyed his opinion on the first game entirely. He was looking forward to TLOU2 since the first game’s release, and this just destroyed him. 

Not to mention the atrocities at naughty dog, like forcing animators and artists to watch real violence and gore videos/references for the game, which gave some who’ve come forward PTSD symptoms from exposure, the abysmal crunch overtime hours that led up to the game leaks, and the general attitude there. It’s crazy to see even the most hardcore gamer bros in my circle weeping over Amy Hennig’s talent and scripts (for uncharted) and how they didn’t appreciate her enough because ND’s man writers just do not understand how to write a game. 

Oh yea, ND actively bought good game reviews lmao. All the major outlets AND some indie outlets have all been reported giving it a 5/5, or 100/100 etc when the reviewers themselves had a horrible time playing. My friend’s company actively turned down a “sponsored review” where they got the game and NDA releases for free early but in return had to give a “perfect or near perfect score” despite what the reviewer actually thought. 

IMO It’s essentially the walking dead TV show’s massive shift from “what if we all stayed in a group and found happiness in small moments together despite the pain.” to “neegan funny kill glenn with bat haha no fun no safety everybody hate and kill each other” that drove so many people to abandon the series when they did. 

TLOU2 feels awful to play, is awful to play, and leaves a bitter and acidic taste in your throat. It’s an exercise in misery exclusively. The idea that humanity wouldn’t have 1 shred of safety and comfort and love in it is wholly a male power fantasy from dudes who can’t even cook rice properly.

 Like, why would you want to spend 20+ hours steeping yourself in Sadness Soup when you could like, idk, go play Okami in the same amount of time, go play God of War (2018), go play Horizon Zero Dawn, go play Life is Strange again, go do literally anything else for the same amount of time. 

White supremacist trying to form a straight-pride parade accidentally lets truth slip at city council meeting