j's whiney blog @nonborderlinary - Tumblr Blog

you gotta revert to the ways of our ancestors (writing in your diary)

#when it's so bad i have to post it on my secret tumblr i block anyone who follows me on

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memorycycle

i can feel my evil heaert Growing

i wanna beg her for forgiveness and i didn't do anything wrong lmao

i wanna be happy and healthy and get married and have my own house and me and my partner have separate bedrooms so we can have our own space but we both have huge beds so we can always sleep in the same room when we want and the house is the perfect size and i always have the right amount of energy and we have cats and maybe one dog and i walk it every day for a whole hour

beaten-dog

Quite frankly, I'd rather be unconscious

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what a horrible night but at least all the ways my body reacted to drinking too much made me l00se

#i did tell my mum i've been struggling with food again though #which means she'll be on my case #the classic i want help but i don't want help #i want people to know but i don't want people to know #i had to tell her about the intrusive suicidal thoughts as well #it was scary i've never had specifically those ones before #and i'm worried i'd go through with it

.

#body punished me so hard for that lol #got chicken from this shitty chicken shop #dry as hell was really hard to get down #felt really sick bc alcohol #helped myself get it out #dry ass fucking chicken gets stuck in my throat on the way up #fucking chokes me #still coughing and tasting that shitty fucking chicken #this night is going on forever #came downstairs bc f is in my bed and i just can't share rn #i just want this to be over

never needed to be in a coma more than i do right now

#i am having instrusive thoughts of doing something concerning #just to feel it #that's probably the most dangerous intrusive thought i've had #maybe i should wake someone up #i want to talk to f but she's so unwell #maybe i should wake up my mum #i don't know #i'm tired i want to go to sleep

want to go outside and lie down in the road

#but i'm cold lmao #i would if it weren't for that #i'm at the lowest i've been in years #just kill me

nofuckingideawho

I have this silly little feeling in my chest that's making me want to die

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avoidantgirlfriend

sometimes i want to smash my head on concrete

i will never fit anywhere ever. i was made wrong. i am evil. i am am abomination. i need to be put down for my own good

#bpd

chronicsymptomsyndrome

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

i am a monster and deserve nothing good

#bpd

hm hate myself and believe whole heartedly i am the worse and my ocd is bad and i want to not be healthy i want to punish myself in every way i deserve to be r@ped tbh

#if you're reading this dw i only come here to vent #when anyone follows me i soft block them #this is my scream into the void #where i say the things i can't say to anyone else #it'll get better #but right now it's terrible

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i need to go to therapy so bad but i don't have it until the eighth lollll i forgot how much i fucking drown without it i feel terrible

boymoder-eunuch

The loneliest girl in the world would like to message you for about 15 minutes and then ghost you forever

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