Spratly Islands are Laotian Land

ZENOS BOBA SUNDAY EVERYONE

my little brother came into my room and told me that there was water all over the bathroom floor so i got up and grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom to find all of my water energy pokemon cards sprawled out on the floor this kid is 5 fucking years old and he got me

THIS POST IS TWO YEARS OLD NOW. MAX IS 7. IT DIES DOWN FOR LIKE HALF A YEAR AND THEN SUDDENLY IT KICKS BACK UP AGAIN I HATE THIS POST 

this post is now 5 years old. Max is 10 and i hope he’s still schemin’

There’s so much potential in this genre of joke. “There’s a fire in the kitchen!” etc.

Max is an adult now

I'm imagining a fortune teller who's also a child so her idea of what a good fate is vs a terrible one isn't really in line with her clients at all

Imagine u go to visit the oraclet (oracling?) and she tells u there's untold riches in your future and later it becomes very apparent that what she was predicting was you winning $20 from a lottery ticket

She dismisses every wedding she predicts as a Terrible Fate because she thinks the kissing is cringe

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

danganronpa if it was good

the coworker who is too maternal and has correctly identified you as the runt of the office and won’t let you eat your lunch on break so you starve quicker and die

The dragon snarled. 'So, another foolish knight has come seeking my hoard." "Actually, I'm an accountant, and I'm here to audit your finances."

what is that peanus even supposed to be tho??

It’s supposed to be a rock with a fireman’s hat on top 😬

POV Minecraft steev looking down at his dong