Man Don't Care

Great, looks like I've sleep deprived myself and drank until i hit psychosis again.

Didn’t even realise how erratic and stupid my behaviour was.

Got a bit of a wake up call, about how plain disrespectful i have been.

Time to put the bottles down and get some sleep and leave people alone for a few days, give them space and to stop me hurting anyone else that i’m friends with. 

That’s whats scary, when it comes i don’t even notice it.

Once i realise or people tell me to reflect on my behaviour the dread comes that they are right and it’s happened again.

What i’m really scared of is one day falling into it and it becoming permanent, the frequency of the bad episodes is still few and far between luckily. The day to day symptoms of paranoia and hallucinations have been increasing though.

So happy mayar made me seek treatment she saw the downwards spiral happening