Summary: Nolan is back from a mission and thinks Makarov will kill him because he failed, but gets proven wrong.
CW: devotion to an unhealthy degree
Notes: This is my first time writing character x character! Idk this is kinda nothing but i wanted to try Makanolan and this came out. Enjoy!
“Komandir” Nolan announces himself as he closes the door to Makarovs office behind him.
He’s still covered in blood, some of it his own and theres multiple cuts and bruises on his face he hasn’t dealt with yet. but it doesn’t matter. Nolan failed the mission, failed Makarov. He had to come here, apologise, seek mercy.
Makarov doesn’t turn around from where he’s looking out the window, his back tuned to Nolan. It would be stupid to think he hadn’t heard him, he just chose not to answer.
“Komandir” Andrei calls out again. Makarov still doesn’t respond, acknowledge his existence. Nolans hands are clamy and shaking. this means nothing good. He can only plead, hope his death will be a mercifully quick one.
“Komandir, I’m sorry. I failed the mission. I failed you. It is my fault and I’ll face any consequences.”
He stands, wait to be punished for speaking without being spoken to, but nothing comes. It stings worse than Makarovs usual harsh words, worse than being called useless and weak. Maybe he is weak to be so desperate for his komandirs attention, to be hanging on his every word.
His silence must mean the end. If he doesn’t even speak to him anymore, it means Nolan’s not worth his words. The realisation tears through him, makes him tear up. He hoped to be loyal, hoped to be a good soldier for Makarov, but he wasn’t and this is where it ends for him.
Nolan sinks to his knees, lets his head hang in submission. If he cant be a loyal soldier anymore, he’ll at least be loyal and obedient in his last moments. Andrei keeps his back straight as he stares at the floor, arms crossed behind his back and awaiting the muzzle of a gun.
A few seconds of absolute silence pass by. Nolans teary eyes threaten to spill over but he refuses to wipe them or show more weakness than he already did by failing.
Two polished leather shoes start to move towards him. Every step is a quiet click. A countdown to his death.
Makarov stops in front of him. Nolan doesn’t look up, obediently awaiting his execution. But instead of cold metal to his temple, Makarov speaks.
“What are you doing on the floor, солдат.”
Nolan doesn’t dare answer, holds his breath for a few seconds. This is a rhetorical question. Why would Makarov ask what he is doing. Nolan failed, this is the place he belongs.
“Andrei” Nolan flinches at his tone. He was wrong to remain silent.
“Komandir, I don’t understand. I failed you.”
His voice doesn’t shake, that he’s proud of. He presses his hands harder against his back. The position hurts, but Nolan won’t be in it much longer anyway.
Nolan quickly raises to his feet, his knees feeling weak. He keeps his gaze glued to Makarovs shoes. The only reason Makarov would ask him to stand would be that he wants to kill him somewhere else, somewhere public, make an example of Nolan to make sure every single soldier knows not to fail him. Andrei won’t disobey.
Nolan obeys. Makarovs eyes are steel, his gaze hard.
Nolan can’t help the words that tumble out of his mouth, can’t stop the desperate attempt to pray for forgiveness.
“I know, I know komandir. It was my fault and I-“
Makarov interrupts him with a click of his tongue. Instantly, Nolan falls silent.
Makarov glances at Nolans blood-stained gear before turning around, his shoes clicking on the floor as he walks back to the window.
Andreis voice shakes slightly. It is stupid to ask Makarov to repeat himself, he knows that, but he can’t help himself.
But, instead of facing punishment for his obvious mistake, Makarov sighs.
“Get cleaned up. We will talk later.”
Nolan wants to ask again, ask why he’s still alive, why Makarov doesn’t seem to be furious, but his body reacts before he does, making him stumble out the door and to his room.
The whole way to the barracks,, his mind circles around the same thoughts. He failed Makarov. Reasonably, he should be dead, yet somehow he’s still alive.
As Andrei stands under the hot water of the shower, it dawns on him: his komandir showed him mercy. He forgave him, or at least didn’t punish him.
He’s not sure he’s ever seen anyone survive failing Makarov before.
for anyone wondering and not wanting to visit google translator, “солдат” is russian for solider
