nina

Does it still count for the playoffs sex ban if it's with a dude? You know, like the poophole loophole. No I'm not asking for me! Wait that's not why you picked a man right?

Can I bring my girlfriend when we go to Boston Pride? Or is that not allowed?

Do you guys just get to leave the toilet seat up at home?

Are men better at sucking dicks?

Wait so were you lying about liking Dunkin too because I thought gay people prefer Starbucks?

Aren't you sad you'll never be able to do to it raw? And the follow-ups: doesn't it make your dick smell like ass? Wait but you never have to worry about getting pregnant that's awesome bro.

Are you going to make me vote now?

How can you tell you're like actually into dudes? Because like I can look at a dude and go “yeah he's hot” but I don't want to bang him

Aww man you must miss pizza. Because of the gluten. I thought gay people can't have it?

If you got married who would be the groom?

If you could suck your own dick, do you think you'd be more turned on by having your dick sucked or by doing the sucking?

Does this mean they'll let us in the gay clubs now? Because we've got a gay.

So who nags you to put your socks in the hamper? Dude you guys must have socks everywhere.

Did you just bang all those chicks so people wouldn't think you're gay? Because I think you might have overdone it bro.

Is that why Hollander randomly started dressing well? Because he turned gay?

Who sends you the flags? Have you got yours yet?

How the fuck did you know he was gay before you hit on him? Or have you just been trying to pull half the league and Hollander's the only one that took the bait. Wait did you hit on Scott Hunter?

(drunk and emotional) please don't have Hollander’s babies until after you've retired. We need your body for hockey

I just can't get my head around what you guys do together. Like do you just hang out doing dude shit and then fuck? Like do you play Xbox and then suck each other off? Because that sounds awesome.

Have you ever got turned on by your own dick?

Found out that the dickhead (affectionate) has figured out that the food is in the utility room cupboard. He has figured out how to hook his claws into the door, pry it open, and get into the fucking cupboard at night, where he then shoves his head in the bag and eats as much as he wants.

like imagine your team gets first draft pick and you luck out to get this fucking russian wunderkid on your team who is such hot shit, but even though he's the second coming of hockey christ (or one of them, at least), he's wet behind the ears and barely speaks english and he gnashes his teeth and bites, but you (cliff marleau) have been around a junkyard dog or two and you know a biting dog is a scared dog. so you take to him, and he really takes to you. maybe he sees a bit of home in you, maybe you remind him of those kind men from his youth, friends' older brothers or uncles, who'd offer him pulls from their bottle, puffs off their cigarette.

#mycliff may be a total bimbo but i also think he's pretty emotionally intelligent (#empath and youngest of 4 sisters. in my mind. in my beautiful world ive created). i think he can clock that ilya is a bit of a loose cannon. ilya is moody, he's volatile, he's reckless. i think cliff sees past his showboating and can see it for what it is: detachment and insecurity, fear. i think he probably feels a big sense of responsibility towards ilya, at least at the beginning. he is of course buying ilya liquor before he turns 21 and he is of course ilya's coke dealer. but i think that is all in a "i'd rather you do it in the house" kind of way where he's able to keep an eye on him, a pseudo billet of sorts.

+ i think ilya, prisoner of his mind that he is, does eventually let cliff in to the softer side of him. i think like, sure, they're having threesomes and making gravity bongs but i think also cliff is teaching ilya to drive stick and how to order at dunkin and they're going to red sox games during the offseason and playing gta online.

and ilya doesnt quite get why it feels so comfortable to be around this old fucker but rly its because that's big bro.....like that's the brother relationship he left back in russia--actually a relationship that withered many years before he moved away. someone looking out for him and showing him the ropes.. a pat to the back....an affectionate smack to the back of the head...<3

Tome calling Yuji and Nobara senpai only for them to be like "wow, never been called Senpai before! How old are you kids?"

And then they say FIFTEEN/SIXTEEN and they're just like "wait... we're the same age..."

it didn't show much other than henry waking up and suddenly everything's taken away from him. they were both panicking in the book, i wish it showed alex and all of his thoughts, how he was panicking every second, needing to talk to henry at some point just to make sure he's doing okay. i wish it showed how ellen was caring and worried about alex, leaving behind her president-mom attitude and switching to mom, because that's her baby. the email that happened the day before the outing really showed how much alex really did love henry. they dont show the emails at all, save for when alex is in texas and henry is being a gigantic sap. there was so much stress going on after being outed, i do also wish they showed nora (?) figuring out who got the emails. i wish they included nora period??????? i wish they included alex's early morning panic when zahra ran in and snatched his phone and dragged him out to talk with his mother.

another thing i wish they included was rafael luna. he exposed richards for exploiting him for sexual favors and it really symbolizes how corrupt and disgusting politicians can be. i wish they included him in general, because it was a crucial relationship to alex. alex wanted to be like luna.

[pls do not repost anywhere!]

ilya: if they could just put their minds off where i put my dick and into where i put the puck, maybe they would notice that it is going into the goal

interviewer: shane hollander, do you have any comment on your husband and captain’s rather coarse language?

PROPAGANDA:

[Loid]

"Anya needs a sibling and Loid should give her one and quit his job being a spy."

[Jesus]

"So that he will understand women’s pain and stop periods and make pregnancy hurt way less. JESUS CHRIST NEED HIM PREGNANT POLL FOR WOMENS RIGHTS 2026!"