so this is it, huh?

The answer feels obvious, but the question begs more questions.  How would this work?  Am I just desperate?  Does he even like me?  Does he even know how to be in a relationship?  Do I want to deal with any of this?  You didn’t have answers for these.  When the end of your workday came, you were grateful to head home.  

As you were changing into some workout gear a text chimes.

Hangman: Just getting out for the day.  What are your plans tonight?

You hate the way that you smile at your phone.  

You:  About to go for a run.  Come by after?

Hangman:  I’ll pick up some food on the way.  What time?

Grateful for the hour or so you were able to buy for yourself, you set off on a run around the neighborhood.  Maybe it would clear your head before Jake came over.  If anything, it would calm you down.  Even though you were a total space cadet at work today, you were strung with energy.  Putting yourself through the paces of the neighborhood would be so good for you.  

.   .   .   .

“Hello?”  You can hear the pilot calling down the hallway for you.  He’d texted you when you’d just gotten back from your run, asking for your order.  It seemed like he might get here earlier than you anticipated, so you let him know you’d put a key under the mat and he could let himself in.  

“Hey!  I’ll be just a minute!”  You shout out from the shower, hoping he can hear you.  

You finished up as quickly as possible, dipping into your bedroom to put on some casual clothes (but cute ones, of course) before heading into the main space to meet Jake.  He was on your couch, flicking through some streaming services to find something to watch, a container of Thai food balanced in his lap.  Takeout bags and containers were spread across your coffee table.

“I was so hungry. I couldn’t wait. But you gotta get in on some of this.”  Jake says enthusiastically, practically mid bite. He raises his dish toward you in offering, megawatt smile aimed directly at you.  That smile that melts you, the real one you’ve grown to love so much.  

“That’s okay, I get it.”  Shuffling over to your sofa, you grab a fork from the coffee table and launch it into his chicken pad thai, savoring a bite with an emphatic nod of agreement.

Nonchalantly, Jake leans over to give you a chaste kiss temple, before returning to shoveling pad thai in his mouth.  You grabbed your noodle dish and dug in. Some action comedy movie had just started playing on your TV.  

“How was your day?” you ask.  It feels like asking about the weather.  Last night looms between you two like a thundercloud, crackling with intensity and threatening to break open and rain down.    

“It was, okay.  Better, since I talked to you last night.  I was able to actually focus for the first time since the admiral’s funeral this past weekend.”

Surprised, your eyebrows raised as you looked at Jake.  You didn’t know what he would say; whether he was going to bury what happened last night or whether he was going to bring it up first.  For someone so ego-driven, he sure was open with you about his feelings.  It shouldn’t surprise you, really.  Cocky, yes, but also always direct.  

“I’m glad.  Not like I really did anything helpful though.”  You smile softly at Jake.

“You did.  You listened.  You listened when I didn’t deserve any of your time.  So thank you again.”

All you could do was nod.  A comfortable silence fell between you both as you dug into your dinners, eyes trained on the movie.  

You liked this, letting Jake step into your routine. Letting him be a part of your day to day. You hate that you could see it. See him as fixture in your life, coming over after work and going on runs, grocery store trips, movie marathons. Things with Jake were natural. You entered into this whole situation by being yourself. Knowing it had an expiration date meant you didn't keep up any pretenses or try too hard. And yet...you clicked. You didn't have to pretend hard to be his pretend girlfriend. It was easy.

It’s only been three weeks.  Get over yourself.  

Deciding you needed to busy yourself, you grab Jake’s empty food container from the coffee table and head to the kitchen to clean up and grab some water.  His gaze follows you into the kitchen, and you hear his footsteps trail.  You were trying to get a minute to collect yourself, but when you turn around to look at Jake, he’s leaning against your kitchen counter, a similar strained look on his face to one you saw last night.  

Wordlessly, you step in front of him, brows knit together and head gently tilted in a silent question, as if to ask “What’s wrong?”

Green eyes scan your face with intensity, as if he’s committing you to memory.  His brows furrow, creasing his forehead.  Casting his eyes down and lips pressing into a line, he thinks just for a moment.  When he speaks, his voice is tight.

“I fly out tomorrow.”

Jake glances back up at you for a moment before training his eyes back down.  He can’t bring himself to look in your eyes as he speaks.  He’s afraid of unraveling.      

“I don’t know if I’m flying, I don’t know when I get back.  I’m not scared of this mission, but this one is different.  We’re all kinda nervous.”

You close the gap between you two, wrapping your arms around his waist as you look up at him, forcing yourself in his line of sight. His hands cup your shoulders, thumb tracing the ridge of your collarbone. Your eyes meet.

The moment lingers.

As if on cue, you collide.  Jake is radiating heat and suddenly you want to stand on the sun.  Fingers reach up to hold the back of his neck, reaching up to wrap around the taller pilot.  Effortlessly, the man dips down to grab the back of your thighs, hoisting you easily up into his grasp, wrapping your legs around his waist.  Jake’s tongue slips across your lips, beckoning you to part them.  Your tongues press and swipe across each other as you shift your weight in his grasp, wrapping your hands around the strong muscles of his back.  Gently, you pull away, panting from the breathless desperation of your kiss.

“Take me to bed, Jake.”  It’s almost a demand.  

“Yes ma’am.”  He drawls, cocky smirk pasted back across his face.  

You want to hate it sometimes, but right now it sends heat straight to your core and you swear you’re dripping for him already.  

Jake carries you effortlessly down the hall and to the bed.  You adjust to wrap your fingers through his hair and gently tug his head to the side, exposing his muscular neck for you to attack with wet kisses.  Jake moans and you feel the vibrations from his throat against your lips.  In one smooth motion, he’s laid you against the bed and sets himself between your legs, rolling his hips against you and gently pressing you into the bed.  Caged between his arms, you reach down to tug the hem of his shirt over his head.  He shifts, adjusting upright to remove the article of clothing, and for a moment you admire the view.  In the past three weeks, it hasn’t gotten old.  Jake Seresin is practically a work of art, golden skin pulled taught against athletic muscles that rippled as me moved above you.  Hungry for more, your hands move to touch his stomach, smirking back up at him.

“Never gets old.”  You stroke his ego with the compliment.  Teeth tug his bottom lip as he looks down at you devilishly.  He winks.

“You’re welcome.” 

You laugh and roll your eyes, and Jake takes the moment to attack the sensitive spot on your neck with kisses.  An illicit moan choruses from you as you arch your back and roll your hips up into him.  A hand slips beneath your tank top to knead your breast as he continues his kissing assault down your neck to your collar bone.  Your hands are moving to his waist band, tugging.

“No no, I can’t be the only one stripping.  Let’s get you out of these.”  Jake’s voice is a smooth rumble.  Deftly, fingers find your waist band and tug the leggings off your hips and down your feet, pressing a tender kiss to the inside of your calf as he works.  Next, his hands wrap around you to tug you to a seat, freeing you so that he can get you out of your tank top.

“You wore this just for me?  Damn, gorgeous, you really are something.”  

You were wearing a black lacy bra and panties set, something comfortable but sexy that showed off your figure just the way you liked.  Jake’s dark green eyes are blown almost black as he stands next to the bed, drinking you in.  

“You’re welcome”.  You retort back coyly.  “Now take those off.”  You point at his shorts.  Obliging, he flashes you a grin and in an instant he is stripped nude, cock springing forward from it’s confinement.  Sometimes, you can’t believe he’s real.  That he’s real, and you get to have him.  

Lying yourself on your stomach on the bed, you move your head to the edge of the bed and reach out to wrap your hand around his throbbing member, kissing the head sloppily.  You hadn’t done this for Jake yet.  But god damn it, the man was heading off on what sounded like a suicide mission to you (From what you can know) and you’d be damned if you were going to prove you “supported the troops” like he had teased at that first dinner.  Eyes glancing up at him, you meet his heavily lidded gaze.  Jake reaches down to pull your hair into a gentle grip, keeping it out of you way, as you take his length into your mouth.  

Jake inhales sharply, muttering swears and your name on his exhale.  

“Forget this mission.  You’ll be the death of me, woman.”  His cock twitches in your mouth as you work it’s length, taking him as deep as you can, working a hand in tandem with your mouth.  As you’re laid before him across the bed, he leans over to grip your ass, then moves the hand down to your folds.  

“Having my cock in your mouth gets you this wet, now does it?  Lucky me.”  He hums and you know that his ego loves it.  And he’s right.  You’re soaking wet for him.  “I need to feel you.  Come here.”   Jake pulls away from you and suddenly shifts to lie on the bed, pulling your hips to straddle his waist.  Taking just a moment, you reach over to grab a condom from the bedside table, giving it to Jake who dons it in a hurry.  You roll yourself against him as he tries to work, watching him squirm below you.  Once he’s done, green eyes roam your body as his hands tight around your waist as he gently guides your gyrations.  

“Don’t tease me, please.  Don’t make me beg on what might be my last night alive.”  

The words stop you, and your posture drops.  Nervously, you tug your lips into your mouth, biting down.  

“...Jake.”  Your eyes search for his in the dim room, lit only by the light in the hallway.  The worry on your face is evident.

“Hey.  Hey, I’m teasing.  I’ll be alright.”  Jake sits up, shifting you in his lap and taking a gentle hold of your face, eyes finding yours.  You nod, taking a shaky breath in, cracking a smile.  

“I would never deny you tonight.”  You lean into Jake, kissing him deeply.

What you want to say is “I could never resist you”.  

You reach between your legs, pulling the lace to the side and guide the swollen head of his cock to your entrance.  You sink down with a moan.  Actions speak louder than words anyway.

Focusing his gaze back to you, Jake watches with an almost strained expression as you lower yourself onto him.  His hands reach around your sides and splay wide across your back, gripping into your flesh as he guides you onto him.  You lean back and roll your hips against him, ankles wrapped around his back as your hips work circles in his lap.  Jake leans forward to place tender kisses to your chest.

You low how your body feels in his hands.  

The pace starts slow, romantic almost, but it builds.  You angle your hips and grind your clit against his as you slide along his length, each thrust a spark.  Jake knows that you’re chasing your orgasm.  He coaxes you along, meeting your thrusts with his own movements, hands shifted to your hips to grip tightly and guide your movements.  

“That’s it, gorgeous.  Cum for me.  I need to feel you on my cock.”  Jake whispers in your ear between biting kisses to your neck and throat.  

After enough sparks, the kindling takes.  The flame roars.  The pilots name is followed by a silent cry of pleasure as your orgasm roars through you.  

You unravel against Jake in his lap, panting as you come down from your orgasm.  He leans forward, placing you down flat on your back and pulling your hips up into him.  

“You’re so fucking sexy when you come for me, baby.”  Jake croons as you feel his hot breath on your ear.  “I can hardly contain myself.”  The pilot rolls his hips up into you and practically growls.    

Your legs are spread wide, giving Jake access to everything that he wants.  He is thrusting into you and his rhythm stays the same but the force and the depth increases slowly, steadily.  Jake brings his lips to yours, kissing you breathlessly as you wrap one hand into his hair and scrape another hand down his shoulder, hanging on for dear life as he slams into you.  

“I’m gonna cum.”  He practically growls, and you arch your back up to meet him, crying out yes, Jake.  It’s his undoing.  Hips stuttering, Jake moans out such a sexy sound, your name caught on his lips as he releases.

This time, you don’t rush up out of bed.  Jake shifts off of you and lies flat on his back, gently pulling you onto his chest with a heavy, contented sigh.  You glance up at him, eyes roaming every curve and plane of his handsome features in the dim bedroom light.  Gently, Jake presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“I’m sorry about what I said.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”  You feel his voice rumble gently through his chest.  

“Its okay.  I’m sorry I got emotional.”  You admit sheepishly.  What had gotten into you, anyway? “You must really like being my pretend girlfriend, huh?”  smirking down at you, Jake cocks an eyebrow.

Don’t say anything.  

“You were just starting to be less of a jerk, you know.”  You try to tease, but your hollow voice betrays you.

Jake shifts to look at you.  Like, really look at you.  

“Hey.  For the record, it was really sweet.  It’s nice to know someone might be worried about me.” 

“This has been really fun, Jake.”  You say gently.  You mean it.

Jake presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, and you can feel him smile into it.  

“Yeah, it has, hasn’t it?”  And all you can do is nod.  All you can do is try to make peace with this, and try to enjoy it for what it was.  

.   .   .   . 

You wanted Jake to stay, but you knew that he had to get back to base.  Tomorrow was a big day for him, and you knew that there had to be so much physical and mental prep work to be done.  It surprised you that he came at all.

Standing on your porch in the harsh yellow light, Jake reaches for you to take you into one more embrace, hugging you tightly.  

“I’ll text you when I can, let you know how everything goes.”  The pilot cannot indicate when that will be, or what he can tell you.  You’re even surprised he wants to tell you.  “Thanks for putting up with me.  I know I’m a pain in the ass.”  Jake chuckles, and you close your eyes as his body rumbles against yours one more time.  

“Stay safe, Jake Seresin.”  You say, stepping away from him with a soft smile.