could have been a poet or could have been a fool

El moved to iceland after s5 and started afresh

She settles in a small village and when the people living there see a teenage girl alone with an air of melancholy? Immediately she is taken in as the village child to look after

someone sees her using her powers by accident and the whole village silently agrees “we tell no one. She is ours to protect now” and they go about their daily lives

years pass, el grows into an adult and takes over the village bakery after the elderly owner passes away

sometimes she checks in on The Party, using her powers, she watches mike and will fall in love, lucas and max blossom, and she is so very happy for them

and then she sees dustin. Dustin does not fall in love, she doesnt understand why because dustin always talked about suzie when they were dating, el figured dustin really valued romance

after a long while of living—when shes about 25-27—she is taking her daily walk through the forests and waterfalls (the one time a day she lets herself truly think about what she left behind) and she comes across a small child. No older than five or six, and so *so* small, shivering, terrified. El looks at her and sees herself that night in the woods when hopper found her

she remembers what hopper said the last time they saw eachother “give her the life you never had”

so she does

a year later dustin—a fully fledged nasa engineer—moves to work in iceland to study the geothermal vents and renewable energy possibilities. Hes posted in a small village.

the day after he arrives he walks into the village bakery to see el—jane—laughing with a customer behind the counter, flour on her cheek, her hair long, so long (she never cuts it, not after the lab) and smiling. Really truly smiling.

he’s about to call out to her, sweep her into a crushing hug, cry, shout, *something*, a young girl comes running behind the counter waving a sheet of scribbled on paper shouting “mama look what i made!”

and dustin comes to the conclusion that Jane has well and truly moved on from everything. From hawkins. From everyone.

he leaves the bakery without buying anything

and now has to try and get through his year long post without running into Jane, or her daughter

not in a “it was all terrible” way.

but in a “how did we fumble THIS many narrative balls in the FINAL season of a billion-dollar show” way.

and it all starts with:

⸻

THE HOLLY WHEELER PROBLEM

i said it.

i meant it.

i’ll say it again louder for the people in the upside down.

the holly plotline was useless.

not “bad.”

not “poorly acted.”

just… narratively unnecessary.

she had more screen time than half of the original cast.

HALF.

characters we’ve known since season 1 were standing in the corner like forgotten coats while holly and her little stranger squad were running around having their own side quest.

and for what?

what did it actually change?

remove the holly plotline and you still get:

• vecna

• the final fight

• the upside down

• the world ending

but suddenly you also get:

• more time for mike

• more time for will

• more time for joyce

• more time for literally anyone who mattered

they said they were “circling back to the core themes.”

FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE PREVAILS MY ASS.

this season was:

doom

gloom

crying

death

suffering for no actually reason

apocalypse

action packed bullshit

⸻

HOPPER SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD

i love hopper.

he is a king.

he is a dad.

he is a real life hero.

but.

HE. SHOULD. HAVE. STAYED. DEAD.

bob’s death in season 2 hit because it told us something:

no one is safe.

that’s what makes horror work.

that’s what makes you hold your breath.

now?

steve falls off a TOWER in season 5 and i don’t even blink.

i was like:

“he’s fine.”

because he is.

everyone is.

they have so much plot armor they could walk into the sun and come back with a mild tan.

when everyone is guaranteed to survive, nothing feels dangerous.

and when nothing feels dangerous, nothing feels important. Or real!

hopper staying dead would have:

• raised the stakes

• fixed the fear

• and forced eleven to grow on her own

which brings me to—

⸻

LET ELEVEN BE A PERSON, NOT A PET

this is not about ships.

do not come in here with that energy.

jane needed independence.

she needed to exist outside of:

hopper

mike

the government

netflix’s marketing department

kali should have lived.

period.

eleven could have escaped.

built a life.

been a person.

instead we got:

more suffering

more trauma

more reset-to-factory-settings arcs

girl has been through ENOUGH.

⸻

THE WILL BYERS SITUATION

they should not have dragged will being in love with mike this long.

there were two options:

1. follow through

2. shut it down early and give will a new love interest

they did neither.

they just let him suffer in the narrative corner for five seasons.

and that robin pep talk?

wasted time.

led nowhere.

gave him false hope.

then did nothing with it.

you know what that time could have been?

what were all those clues? those glances? the touches? the tension?

all these for a big Nothing Burger!

THE FINAL FIGHT.

people are not wrong when they say the final battle was barely longer than will’s coming out scene.

priorities were in hell.

⸻

CONFORMITYGATE AND THE MARKETING MACHINE

netflix knew this was controversial.

they fed it.

they promoted it.

they tweeted about it.

because controversy = clicks

clicks = engagement

engagement = money

we are not viewers.

we are metrics.

we are little corporate pawns in netflix’s chess game.

and they’re playing 4D chess with our feelings.

⸻

BACK TO HOLLY (BECAUSE I’M NOT DONE)

they aged her up.

ignored her canonical age.

made her important.

why?

new kids = new audience.

but what was their actual purpose?

“to merge the worlds.”

okay.

why.

how.

to what end.

no answers.

Pure aesthetic, zero explanation.

we didn’t need 12 new characters in the FINAL season.

we needed:

the kids we started with.

that’s it.

⸻

IN CONCLUSION

the choices this season were… interesting.

that’s the nicest thing i can say.

this could have been a beautiful, focused, emotional ending.

instead we got:

corporate storytelling

safe decisions

marketable drama

and a finale that felt like it was trying to please everyone and satisfied no one.

anyway.

i’m going to go lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling now.

reblog if you agree.

reblog if you’re mad.

All the while being tortured by supernatural beings, but only playing a passive role in it except for a few scenes in the final season.

Will ended up being a plot device wrapped up in a heteronormative idea of a gay story.