Nit3viz

dude god could come down from heaven with a million angels and tell me that gif is pronounced “jif” and i still wouldn’t fucking do it

I’d just shrug and say, “Okay, thanks, Jod, I’ll keep that in mind.”

#THIS IS THE HILL I WILL DIE ON (x)

I WILL FACE JOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (dir. David Lynch, 2013)

i cant believe you made its always sunny look like some indie film

THAT LAST ONE

Can’t get enough of these

One of my friends asked me the other day if I would suck one thousand dicks for a billion dollars, and I love questions like that because not only are they so demonstrative of the no-homo society we live in, but they also show a fundamental lack of understanding that some people have for the value of money. Like, do you realize just how much money one billion dollars is? Do you realize I could live my life in the lap of luxury buying literally everything I could ever want and still have a fortune to leave to my children?? For sucking some dicks?? We are talking 1 million dollars per dick sucked!! That’s just economical like come on man.

1 billion dollars and all you’d have to do is suck a dick every day for the next 2.7 years. That’s it. Plenty of people already do that. You could quit your job and literally suck dick for a living. You could suck two dicks a day and only have to suck dick for 1.4 years. You could suck 5 dicks a day for about 6 months. 5 DICKS A DAY FOR 6 MONTHS FOR A BILLION DOLLARS, OF COURSE I’LL FUCKIN DO THAT. THAT’S THE DREAM, THAT’S FUCKIN HEAVEN.

and here i was thinking about sucking dick for free

I haven’t seen this on my dash in a while and I think now is as good a time as any to tell you guys that this post got big enough to get to facebook, where it was seen by my cousin, who brought it up at a family event which ended in me defending sucking 1000 dicks to my very religious family