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the alternatives!!

im sure if youve ever been in any sort of recovery space that youve heard some of these suggestions before and trust me... I am fully aware that a lot of alternatives can feel like a chore to try out but lots of them r worth a try!!

some of these fall under multiple categories.. theyre kinda just organized by which one I thought to put them in first lol

~ distractions

(to keep your mind occupied)

1. make a bucket list of small goals.. each time u wanna cut, pick one and try to work on it. i typically like doing simple things, because big tasks can be hard to jump into and then i feel bad for not completing them.... for example:

finish a drawing

go for a 5 minute walk

make your bed

call a friend

learn a new recipe

create a chores/homework to-do list

etc!!

2. if you find small goals to be unfulfilling, try focusing on bigger things!! everyone works differenty! some bigger goals could be:

save up for a concert or movie you wanna see!!

lose a certain amount of weight by a certain amount of time (healthily, not reccomended if the thing ur struggling with is an ED)

plan an event - i started planning my birthday last year like 8 months in advanced, and everytime i felt upset i would add to it a little bit. the plan could even be fictional, as long as it helps.

start a project. this could be a home made film, a quilt blanket, a junk journal, a novel, anything!!

learn a new language

etc :3c

3. do something you enjoy!! this could be:

watching tv

drawing

baking

etc!! ill post another list of hobbies/activities to pass time :33

4. talk to someone you trust. first make sure theyre okay with you venting, and if not, there are alternatives (i will list in the next option) to make sure you dont feel worse from this interaction (hi yes i have social anxiety so i GET YOU!!!) then you can start off by specifying if you want:

someone to listen to you

someone to give you advice

a distraction

5. if other people in your life simply aren't an option, then google your local helpline that you can call or text!! c.ai is always an option as well, but i reccomend using this as an absolute last resort, because generative ai is very harmful to the planet and to our brains and can become its own addiction if left unchecked

6. a personal favourite of mine is practicing hygiene!! ik this is reaalllyyy hard for some people, so baby steps r totally okay. everyone starts out in different places. I have a tendency to feel perpetually 'yucky', which is one of my reasons for $h, so counteracting that feeling by cleaning myself physically can often help quite a bit!! some things I do are:

take a warm bath. lying in hot water for around half an hour (off of your phone if u can) is suuuppeerr relaxing for me.. heat therapy naturally decreases cortisol and dilates blood vessels, which boosts blood circulation and accelerates the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tired tissues. (basically, it helps loosen your muscles and relax ur nerves which is pawsome)

-> as someone that practices very basic witchcraft.. I find it super fulfilling to take ritual baths. however, this can be adapted for non spiritual people as well!! it can rlly pay off to set up your space before bathing, by doing things like lighting candles, sprinkling bath salts, using bubble bath, picking a nice playlist, etc.

taking a cold shower. cold temperatures trigger endorphin (happy chemical) release and work just like an ice pack.. cold water tightens blood vessels, which flushes lactic acid and helps with muscle soreness and blood flow!! and for all my ed mooties... cold temps increase metabolism and help u lose weight :3

I like to make intricate plans, and so i find spending time creating a skin/body/hair care routine relaxing. having a routine planned out also means u dont have to stress about figuring out what to do next.

ill post MY routine later if anyone wants it.. but overall I just suggest spending some time figuring out what works best for you because thats what will make u feel most at ease :3

7. if you need to, then cry. crying is a healthy and normal way to express yourself. youre human. you deserve space to feel.

~ visual replacements

(for when u wanna see $h)

1. fatal to the flesh is a website were u can 'cut' the screen, and i find it soothing when im craving the visual of $h and not just the pain relief of it.

2. similarly, you could draw on your skin where you want to cut, pull hair, scratch etc. you could draw fake cuts, doodle little shapes (my favourites to do are spirals, stars, and beetles), or draw any other picture u wanna. you could write stuff too.

3. a big part of $h for me is after care, i associate any medical first aid supplies with $h and sometimes just playing around with them can help me relax a bit bc of the calming feeling I get from the association of patching myself up. to do this, u could:

put bandaids on a piece of paper

put bandaids or stickers on unharmed skin (if u struggle with hair pulling then try to put it in an area where it wont pull out too much hair bc this might cause u to feel the need to pull out more

put bandaids on your fingers, this is also rlly helpful for hair pulling and skin picking because it makes it harder for u to get a good grip if u tend to do it subconsciously

wrap a bandage around a plushie

4. learn ACTUAL g0re sfx makeup!! I did a course when I was about 12 ish and it was actually rlly fun... u dont need any special kits for it if u cant afford any, there r a bunch of tutorials online for diy clay that u can make to use for the prosthetics!! its also rlly nice to spend time perfecting fake cvts because often its difficult to get ur actual cvts looking like "cvtspo" and doing it RIGHT just feels so relieving

5. another thing u could try out is henna or face paint :33

6. fill up a sponge with water and red food dye.. then u can squeeze the liquid onto ur body in the bath or shower. u can also use face paint n stuff!! it doesnt have to be a sponge u can also just drip it directly onto ur skin i just like using a sponge because its more gradual and u can also get stimulation through taking out ur aggression when squeezing the sponge

7. similar to the last one, mix water and food dye and freeze little red ice cubes!! then u can let them melt on your skin and it hurts and also looks like bl00d so like.. wooo double whammy :D

8. u can look at people's pics on tumblr and twitter but tread lightly with this, if u know that seeing it will trigger u into wanting to relapse then try to avoid that. however, if seeing $h is what satisfies your relapse urges, then this might work for u. just be extra careful in those kinds of spaces and dont ever encourage someone to hurt themselves or go deeper etc

~ pain replacements

(for when u wanna hurt)

(make sure to b careful with all of these, sometimes small bits of pain can trigger the urge to relapse and also other forms of pain stimulation can increase in severity and become just as harmful as the original $h that u are trying to avoid. if smthn starts to make u feel upset in anyway then try to move on from it and use another method before it becomes an issue!!)

1. the good 'ol rubber band trick. if u are craving a quick sting, keeping a hair tie or rubber band on your wrist and flicking it against your skin can actually work even tho its mega cliche

2. pulling hair out on your joints, specifically ankles, knees, and elbows. these areas r where i find it hurts the most and where it is least noticeable!! I like to sit down and pluck each hair individually with tweezers so it feels more like a self care thing than a frantic hair pulling thing. it may seem kinda stupid but having a specific mindset can rlly change the outcome.

3. rubbing ice on your skin. this also works with cold gel, other items from ur freezer, cold metal utensils like spoons, etc. changing your body temperature is actually scientifically proven to help calm your nerves but ill get into that later... this point is more so because sudden coldness can sting without causing any big damage :3

4. yoga/pilates!! ive started stretching in the mornings and before bed and its actually super helpful!! u can use this in multiple ways..

if u struggle with an ed and wanna lose weight then gentle exercise can help with this in the long term

u can search for specific routines, such as poses to help u relax before bed or core exercises to increase appetite.

smthn I like about yoga is that there r also intense workouts u can do without moving around too much (helpful for me because doing shit like burpees will kill me with my iron deficiency. its also nice bc u can do it at home). yoga can help provide a distraction but it can also hurt ur muscles like a BITCH if u go all out. healthy pain!!

5. adding onto the last point, exercise such as running, weights, etc can help too! tons of pain can come from exercise.. muscle pain, shortness of breath, stitches etc. plus.. the more u exercise the better u get at physical shit which is handy because it makes u better than everyone else.... which is always a fun bonus. even going for a walk in the mornings before u start ur day is beneficial to warm ur body and increase blood flow to ur brain

6. chew on something sour, spicy, or bitter.. such as chilli or ginger root

7. take up sports like boxing, weight lifting, etc. a lot of these sports that cause pain sensations r solo sports which I find rlly handy.. but sometimes socializing can help u to get out of ur own head as well. if u wanna smthn social then id recommend casual martial arts (mixed martial arts, karate, taekwondo, etc!!)

8. try to avoid habits like biting, scratching, or hitting yourself. while they are objectively better than other $h, they can still be psychologically damaging and always have potential to worsen.

~ frustration displacement

(for when u feel angry)

1. break shit. genuienly, just find something u are able to destroy and destroy it. it is only a temporary release of anger, but if your reason for $h is because u need to take out frustration, using that irritation to damage something other than yourself can make the urge go away!! id suggest breaking..

old dishes, if u dont have any, then u can find a bunch from thrift stores for super mega cheap.

tearing recycled paper, magazines, news papers, etc.

rip apart clothes you dont wear any more.. or (not related to anger) alter them to fit your current style/size. if u dont wanna do either of these then donating ur clothing is always a good option :3

throw ice cubes or eggs at a wall

smash garden rocks with a hammer

2. adding onto the last one, something that helped me a while back was having a plushie dedicated to being destroyed. I bought a second hand teddy bear and when I was angry I would tear off his limbs, cut up his fabric, pluck out suffing, throw him around, etc.

-> however, because I find relaxation in distraction and crafts, the plush was also super cool because in moments where I needed a distraction id spend time stitching him back together or sewing him new clothes or patches.. etc!! this also helped me because I enjoy the aftercare aspect of sh and looking after him made me feel safe :33

3. beat smthn up.... hit a punching bag, punch a pillow, throw a ball, hit a tree with a stick, etc. this is also great for my moots who r also 'danger to others'.. I see u <33

~ sadness displacement

(for when u feel empty, sad, etc)

1. find comfort. i like to do this by:

making hot drinks like tea and hot chocolate

making a pillow fort/bed nest. it helps a lot if u feel comfort in regression, tidying, and sleep!! bc after youve made it u can snuggle up and its awesome :33

listen to your favourite songs or make a new playlist

watch a comfort show or youtuber

eat your safe foods

read your favourite book

take a bath

have a nap

spend time with a pet or sibling

make a present for yourself

role play with plushies

when you are feeling down, often its hard to even get out of bed. low maintenance tasks that will still bring u comfort are sometimes the best choice because they can help keep u in a safe headspace while not draining u

2. sometimes, though, experiencing a lack of feeling can be quite distressing.. and feeding that feeling by bed rotting can be the opposite of what u need. sometimes the best thing you can do to trick your brain into being active is just getting up and making your bed. even if you get back in bed, youve accomplished something while simultaneously making yourself more comfortable.

-> if you are able to get up and move around, then I suggest doing stimulating activities to ward off the empty feeling. this could be:

eating a lemon

jumping around, kicking your legs, etc

going outside and looking at the sky

putting your hand in warm or cold water

3. if you are upset about something specific, then it could be helpful to write down your thoughts to organize them and get them out of your head. additionally, u could take up journaling and adding aesthetic elements to these rants to take some of the weight off. sometimes I like to bookmark my vent entries and go back to them a couple weeks afterwards to reflect on them.. because a lot of the time the thing I was upset about gets better with time and its nice to see the improvement.

i will add to this as much as I can if I think of more stuff, but i hope that if you read thru this whole thing that u found at least one thing that helped a little bit, and that youre in a safe space. I promise u there are people who care about u, and that life is worth the effort. ur strong for just being around this long, im proud of u!! :33