More SPN x HH au
1, Lucifer still makes himself fun-sized bc when he wraps his arms around Alastor his face is DIRECTLY in that chest and he can gently motorboat them 🥴
2, Charlie Morningstar is a Nephilim sired by an Archangel, and her existence is basically a Crime in heaven's eyes so she's strictly confined to Hell for the time being. Which, like, sucks for her since her parents are out skipping around earth all the time, but also this keeps her from being straight up slaughtered because she's "too powerful" or whatever.
3, Alastor at some point is going to tell Dean (and by proxy Castiel) "I do not have the mental and spiritual fortitude to deal with your bisexual drama right now." Sam is going to find this hilarious.
4, Gabriel's going to love Alastor. Lucifer is trying very, very hard not to be overly possessive when he finds out how much his younger brother is cozying up with his wife. It's fine! Everything's fine! He knows Alastor is 100% loyal to him and Gabriel WOULDN'T even think about stealing his wife so everything's FINE!
5, Castiel and his brothers in arms sort of already know that something is up with Hell from when they went down to "raise Dean from perdition." After Alastor's reorginization of Hell, it much more resembles Hazbin's idea of Hell than it does Supernatural's. Human souls are left to wander around and basically torture each other rather than there being demons doing the work. Of course, Castiel and his soldiers don't really care about this and only truly give a shit about accomplishing their mission, which they of course do.
6, No one really knows who tf Alastor is besides Lucifer. Lucifer is the ONLY person in existence who knows about Alastor's origins. No one knows how a (seemingly living??) human in Hell started interacting with Lucifer through his cage. No one knows where his abilities come from. No one knows how he became the Queen of Hell. You can't even tell from his soul what exactly is wrong with him, because again, he's a multidimensional celestial blindspot and he can CONTROL how he's perceived.
Lucifer is extremely smug about the fact that he is the only person in the know.
I can't tell if it would be funnier if SPN!Lucifer chose to look a lot like Hazbin!Lucifer due to Alastor's description (trying to appeal to him lmao) or if it just happened cuz he liked the aesthetic and Alastor is stood there like...no matter what I cannot escape the circus.
100% because he liked the aesthetic, Alastor can NEVER ESCAPE IT.
But actually for real, Lucifer crafts Hazbin!Lucifer's body almost immediately upon understanding how to make himself a body, without any input or descriptions from Alastor. The circus look comes a lot later, and that comes about because Lucifer notices that the stereotypical roles in a circus sort of fit the Sins that he had created, with him as the ringleader. And the Sins would not have existed if not for Alastor whispering the idea into Lucifer's ear.
So generally speaking... Alastor was indirectly at fault for this.
I imagine Alastor, staring into the distance as Lucifer flits around him trying to flirt with him and just thinking...I did this. I cannot escape the circus. I made the circus this time. Just... thousand yard stare trying to ascertain if he's into this? Was this his subconscious saying he liked circuses? Trying really hard to either dig in or completely ignore what this might imply lmao
PFFT Lucifer's going to learn about this at some point and just be ENTIRELY too amused by this coincidence, especially considering the mental exhaustion it gives Alastor. It would make him double down on the circus theme so hard.
Alastor just decides to be grateful because at least it's not the ducks. (Alastor no you jinxed yourself—!)
Oh no the ducks! LMAO he's doomed no matter what. Honestly I feel like with how goofy Alastor can be, his partner also needs to be a big goofy!
Yes exactly! Like, both Alastor and Lucifer are both wicked, manipulative assholes in this verse, but Alastor's influence has seriously mellowed S!Lucifer out and, against all odds, he kind of actually likes his life right now. He likes being showy and goofy and making Alastor giggle and making his daughter's eyes light up in awe, and of course this is SO DIFFERENT to what he could have been.
Because he could have just been this lonely, betrayed, hurt being locked up in a cage for an unimaginable amount of time. Remember, 1 month on earth is 10 years in hell. He was left in a cage to fester and rot, and he WOULD have without Alastor being there essentially annoying him into something distinctly less dark.
People influence each other and I think Alastor and Lucifer spent a lot of time getting on each others' nerves and learning from each other, and this includes dumb jokes and silly behavior. At first I'm sure Lucifer would have had condescending thoughts about this, but eventually he'll come to the conclusion that "it's fun, so who cares?"
Still an asshole! But a much more fun and silly asshole!
To be fair, I'm pretty sure "fun and silly asshole" describes how I view Alastor lol. I'm sure that Alastor has a 6th (7th? Do we count radio waves as a sense?) sense for when Lucifer is thinking condescending thoughts only to come over and out condescend those condescending thoughts













