1, Lucifer still makes himself fun-sized bc when he wraps his arms around Alastor his face is DIRECTLY in that chest and he can gently motorboat them 🥴

2, Charlie Morningstar is a Nephilim sired by an Archangel, and her existence is basically a Crime in heaven's eyes so she's strictly confined to Hell for the time being. Which, like, sucks for her since her parents are out skipping around earth all the time, but also this keeps her from being straight up slaughtered because she's "too powerful" or whatever.

3, Alastor at some point is going to tell Dean (and by proxy Castiel) "I do not have the mental and spiritual fortitude to deal with your bisexual drama right now." Sam is going to find this hilarious.

4, Gabriel's going to love Alastor. Lucifer is trying very, very hard not to be overly possessive when he finds out how much his younger brother is cozying up with his wife. It's fine! Everything's fine! He knows Alastor is 100% loyal to him and Gabriel WOULDN'T even think about stealing his wife so everything's FINE!

5, Castiel and his brothers in arms sort of already know that something is up with Hell from when they went down to "raise Dean from perdition." After Alastor's reorginization of Hell, it much more resembles Hazbin's idea of Hell than it does Supernatural's. Human souls are left to wander around and basically torture each other rather than there being demons doing the work. Of course, Castiel and his soldiers don't really care about this and only truly give a shit about accomplishing their mission, which they of course do.

6, No one really knows who tf Alastor is besides Lucifer. Lucifer is the ONLY person in existence who knows about Alastor's origins. No one knows how a (seemingly living??) human in Hell started interacting with Lucifer through his cage. No one knows where his abilities come from. No one knows how he became the Queen of Hell. You can't even tell from his soul what exactly is wrong with him, because again, he's a multidimensional celestial blindspot and he can CONTROL how he's perceived.

But actually for real, Lucifer crafts Hazbin!Lucifer's body almost immediately upon understanding how to make himself a body, without any input or descriptions from Alastor. The circus look comes a lot later, and that comes about because Lucifer notices that the stereotypical roles in a circus sort of fit the Sins that he had created, with him as the ringleader. And the Sins would not have existed if not for Alastor whispering the idea into Lucifer's ear.

Because he could have just been this lonely, betrayed, hurt being locked up in a cage for an unimaginable amount of time. Remember, 1 month on earth is 10 years in hell. He was left in a cage to fester and rot, and he WOULD have without Alastor being there essentially annoying him into something distinctly less dark.

People influence each other and I think Alastor and Lucifer spent a lot of time getting on each others' nerves and learning from each other, and this includes dumb jokes and silly behavior. At first I'm sure Lucifer would have had condescending thoughts about this, but eventually he'll come to the conclusion that "it's fun, so who cares?"

1, Lucifer still makes himself fun-sized bc when he wraps his arms around Alastor his face is DIRECTLY in that chest and he can gently motorboat them 🥴

2, Charlie Morningstar is a Nephilim sired by an Archangel, and her existence is basically a Crime in heaven's eyes so she's strictly confined to Hell for the time being. Which, like, sucks for her since her parents are out skipping around earth all the time, but also this keeps her from being straight up slaughtered because she's "too powerful" or whatever.

3, Alastor at some point is going to tell Dean (and by proxy Castiel) "I do not have the mental and spiritual fortitude to deal with your bisexual drama right now." Sam is going to find this hilarious.

4, Gabriel's going to love Alastor. Lucifer is trying very, very hard not to be overly possessive when he finds out how much his younger brother is cozying up with his wife. It's fine! Everything's fine! He knows Alastor is 100% loyal to him and Gabriel WOULDN'T even think about stealing his wife so everything's FINE!

5, Castiel and his brothers in arms sort of already know that something is up with Hell from when they went down to "raise Dean from perdition." After Alastor's reorginization of Hell, it much more resembles Hazbin's idea of Hell than it does Supernatural's. Human souls are left to wander around and basically torture each other rather than there being demons doing the work. Of course, Castiel and his soldiers don't really care about this and only truly give a shit about accomplishing their mission, which they of course do.

6, No one really knows who tf Alastor is besides Lucifer. Lucifer is the ONLY person in existence who knows about Alastor's origins. No one knows how a (seemingly living??) human in Hell started interacting with Lucifer through his cage. No one knows where his abilities come from. No one knows how he became the Queen of Hell. You can't even tell from his soul what exactly is wrong with him, because again, he's a multidimensional celestial blindspot and he can CONTROL how he's perceived.

But actually for real, Lucifer crafts Hazbin!Lucifer's body almost immediately upon understanding how to make himself a body, without any input or descriptions from Alastor. The circus look comes a lot later, and that comes about because Lucifer notices that the stereotypical roles in a circus sort of fit the Sins that he had created, with him as the ringleader. And the Sins would not have existed if not for Alastor whispering the idea into Lucifer's ear.

We should consider the possibility that Vox’s influence unintentionally reverses this, in Partners. It is not anything Vox does intentionally, mind. Vox is not pushing his luck doing suicidal things like trying to give Alastor a makeover. But like—taking things one by one here.

Alastor is sincerely happy when Vox is around (and Vox is around most of the time), so his proportion of “terrifying horror movie monster” smiles to “just a happy guy” smiles is totally out of whack, versus his canon-typical state. At any given time Alastor is more likely to be like ✨🥰✨ than 👹.

Meanwhile, Vox keeps trying to be “thoughtful” and “doting” by replacing Alastor’s suits when they get even remotely worn or threadbare, so Alastor is not walking around in “evil shambling creature chic” all the time.

Alastor is also, on a general level, less exhausted and better taken care of at all times, yet again undercutting the Creature From Beyond aesthetic. He’s hydrated. He’s moisturized. He uses conditioner. He’s actually getting a full night’s sleep after being out until 4am because Vox is being forced to very kindly covering his obligations at the hotel that morning.

And the funniest possible result of this whole situation is that Alastor seems (a) more approachable and (b) in an evil, dangerous, honeypotting kind of way, sort of cute to a fair portion of the population. They get what Vox is seeing. They do not get how Vox is actually getting what he’s seeing, because obviously Alastor only looks like an adorable woodland creature so that you’ll get close enough for him to unhinge his jaw and eat you like the Monty Python killer rabbit or some shit—but still.

1, Lucifer still makes himself fun-sized bc when he wraps his arms around Alastor his face is DIRECTLY in that chest and he can gently motorboat them 🥴

2, Charlie Morningstar is a Nephilim sired by an Archangel, and her existence is basically a Crime in heaven's eyes so she's strictly confined to Hell for the time being. Which, like, sucks for her since her parents are out skipping around earth all the time, but also this keeps her from being straight up slaughtered because she's "too powerful" or whatever.

3, Alastor at some point is going to tell Dean (and by proxy Castiel) "I do not have the mental and spiritual fortitude to deal with your bisexual drama right now." Sam is going to find this hilarious.

4, Gabriel's going to love Alastor. Lucifer is trying very, very hard not to be overly possessive when he finds out how much his younger brother is cozying up with his wife. It's fine! Everything's fine! He knows Alastor is 100% loyal to him and Gabriel WOULDN'T even think about stealing his wife so everything's FINE!

5, Castiel and his brothers in arms sort of already know that something is up with Hell from when they went down to "raise Dean from perdition." After Alastor's reorginization of Hell, it much more resembles Hazbin's idea of Hell than it does Supernatural's. Human souls are left to wander around and basically torture each other rather than there being demons doing the work. Of course, Castiel and his soldiers don't really care about this and only truly give a shit about accomplishing their mission, which they of course do.

6, No one really knows who tf Alastor is besides Lucifer. Lucifer is the ONLY person in existence who knows about Alastor's origins. No one knows how a (seemingly living??) human in Hell started interacting with Lucifer through his cage. No one knows where his abilities come from. No one knows how he became the Queen of Hell. You can't even tell from his soul what exactly is wrong with him, because again, he's a multidimensional celestial blindspot and he can CONTROL how he's perceived.

But actually for real, Lucifer crafts Hazbin!Lucifer's body almost immediately upon understanding how to make himself a body, without any input or descriptions from Alastor. The circus look comes a lot later, and that comes about because Lucifer notices that the stereotypical roles in a circus sort of fit the Sins that he had created, with him as the ringleader. And the Sins would not have existed if not for Alastor whispering the idea into Lucifer's ear.

1, Lucifer still makes himself fun-sized bc when he wraps his arms around Alastor his face is DIRECTLY in that chest and he can gently motorboat them 🥴

2, Charlie Morningstar is a Nephilim sired by an Archangel, and her existence is basically a Crime in heaven's eyes so she's strictly confined to Hell for the time being. Which, like, sucks for her since her parents are out skipping around earth all the time, but also this keeps her from being straight up slaughtered because she's "too powerful" or whatever.

3, Alastor at some point is going to tell Dean (and by proxy Castiel) "I do not have the mental and spiritual fortitude to deal with your bisexual drama right now." Sam is going to find this hilarious.

4, Gabriel's going to love Alastor. Lucifer is trying very, very hard not to be overly possessive when he finds out how much his younger brother is cozying up with his wife. It's fine! Everything's fine! He knows Alastor is 100% loyal to him and Gabriel WOULDN'T even think about stealing his wife so everything's FINE!

5, Castiel and his brothers in arms sort of already know that something is up with Hell from when they went down to "raise Dean from perdition." After Alastor's reorginization of Hell, it much more resembles Hazbin's idea of Hell than it does Supernatural's. Human souls are left to wander around and basically torture each other rather than there being demons doing the work. Of course, Castiel and his soldiers don't really care about this and only truly give a shit about accomplishing their mission, which they of course do.

6, No one really knows who tf Alastor is besides Lucifer. Lucifer is the ONLY person in existence who knows about Alastor's origins. No one knows how a (seemingly living??) human in Hell started interacting with Lucifer through his cage. No one knows where his abilities come from. No one knows how he became the Queen of Hell. You can't even tell from his soul what exactly is wrong with him, because again, he's a multidimensional celestial blindspot and he can CONTROL how he's perceived.

Essentially a Supernatural x Hazbin Hotel crossover, taking some inspiration from @kitsunesongs' Double Entry AU, specifically Fatherverse Lucifer again.

If y'all don't know Supernatural lore, I'll explain some to you because some of it seems VERY similar to Double Entry's fatherverse, with smaller key differences. (On that note, this may be spoilers for Double Entry so READ THAT FIRST, GO READ IT, GO!)

In Supernatural, instead of Roo, God wages war against Amara, his opposite, who cannot resist destroying anything he creates. Like Double Entry, God locks Amara away, except in Supernatural he leaves the lock with his most beloved angel, Lucifer. This lock is a Mark, and God has essentially cursed Lucifer to be slowly corrupted by Amara's influence over time.

It is this influence that ultimately led to Lucifer's rage, envy, and disgust when God created humanity and told the angels to bow to them. It's this influence that led to Lucifer refusing to bow and leading a rebellion. Those feelings would have still been there most likely, but nowhere near as deep without Amara whispering into his ear.

NOW. Back to the story idea.

Alastor gets transported into the Supernatural universe as a disembodied soul in Hell, but this is in the wake of his original universe being completely destroyed. Not because of Roo like he and many others had been expecting, but because God was frustrated and just decided to destroy EVERYTHING. A whole universe, gone. Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggi, Lilith, his MOTHER, they're all gone, as though they never existed to begin with.

Alastor only survived because Roo liked him. And Roo liked him because unlike others, who she could only influence, whisper to, nudge along, she could SPEAK with him, and he could speak back without being corrupted. Almost as if he was made to be able to do so.

Perhaps he was, and this was God's mistake. Because it left Alastor with abilities that essentially allowed him to be a multidimensional blindspot, so long as he was trained to do it. And oh, of COURSE Roo trained him to do it. Anything that could potentially fuck over her jailor at some point in the future.

Unbeknownst to her, it's her teachings that allowed him to escape. And it is her teachings that allowed him to eventually reconstruct a body. Not the one he had in Hell previously, apparently the rules in this new universe don't allow appearances like that yet, but he could reconstruct his human body. It was a slow process, of course, but that meant very little, because time was extended in Hell, and the place seemed rather... barren. Nothing around to disturb him.

Once his body is constructed, he wanders around, and finds he doesn't quite like how THIS Hell is structured. Naturally, he does something about it, starts moving things around, shifting things, and in his slow exploration and organization of this empty Hell, he eventually comes across a Cage. One with a being so immense, so bright, he instantly realized based on biblical scripture who he was looking at.

The Light Bringer. The Morning Star. The Serpent.

A marked being whose mind is being warped... Well, lucky for him that Alastor can do something about that, with all his teachings. Of course, this Lucifer still thinks humans are filthy unworthy creatures, and Alastor truthfully kind of wants to punt his stupid face regardless of how enormous and unfathomable he is, (which honestly Lucifer is a little stunned by, what the fuck is wrong with this human??) but, well, Lucifer wasn't wrong for being angry at being told to submit.

Alastor's from the Jim Crow era south, he can understand the ugly feeling of being told you are LESSER, that you must bow your head to another. Lucifer just has a nasty problem of falling a little too close to the tree, because like God he ALSO seems to have an egomaniac problem that makes him think OTHERS should be considered lesser... (And Alastor can see that this attitude was exacerbated by the literal curse that God placed on his own damn kid, Yikes.)

Luckily, Lucifer's in a cage, and Alastor has all the time in the world to poke him back into having a brain. In fact, he has more time than he would have in the previous universe, given that time is MUCH slower in this Hell.

(Alastor could have totally just left him, but Lucifer is currently the only other being in Hell, and unfortunately Alastor already has a taste for Annoying Lucifer Specifically, even if this is a different version of his favorite mockery victim.)

This is essentially a canon divergence that leads to Supernatural verse getting a more Hazbin edge to it, in that Alastor "discovers" a way for holy and demonic beings to make themselves bodies without having to steal it from others (leading to a Hazbin Lucifer appearance), his direct influence leads to Lucifer creating the Seven Deadly Sins instead of the Four Princes of Hell, and Lucifer ABSOLUTELY becomes a major simp because Alastor Does Not Leave Him Alone, and he is, unfortunately, extremely charmed by this impossible human, despite all the teasing and mockery.

Because of Alastor being a blindspot, no one sees that he's essentially completely derailed all plans of the Winchesters being used as divine flesh suits and shattered any prophesies by way of giving Lucifer the ability to make whatever body he wants. Alastor's existence in the universe stops a lot of things really! He even prevents his birth in this universe by killing his shitbag father before he gets his horrible grubby hands on his mother. No doubles, and his mother remains safe and happy!

At some point he does tell Supernatural!Lucifer about the other universe, about how God simply decided to destroy everything on a whim, including this other version of Lucifer and Lucifer's daughter— and S!Lucifer quickly picks up that Alastor is genuinely upset about the destruction of this daughter. Because she shall NEVER exist in this universe.

To which S!Lucifer is like "bet" and decides he's going to get this human pregnant the second he escapes this cage. In fact, does he need to escape his cage, they could totally do it through the bars, c'mon darling he'll SO give you that baby girl, ask and you shall receive—

Basically, it's only revealed when Lucifer manages to break out of his cage, and he's possessing a body that does NOT look 100% human. Again, he's taking a more Hazbin appearance, so he's got the sharp teeth, black claws, porcelain skin, red eyes. I also like the idea of him coming out in a blue ringleader outfit like his blue one from last year's pride merch, ready to put on a show.

Honestly I want him to look clearly inhuman, but also festive and fun, something that will come completely out of left field to the Winchesters and the angels. He's also going to be a lot different personality-wise because he does not want to actually end humanity anymore. Alastor is human, his daughter is half-human, and he very much truly loves them both. (Also his new body lets him taste human food like normal and damn okay humans know what the fuck they're doing clearly, this shit is FIRE)

Honestly, Lucifer is just going to be an extremely radical conservationist. His biggest gripe is just that he loves the earth, he thinks it's god's greatest creation, and he wants to preserve its beauty. And yeah, a lot of humans RUIN that, and that pisses him the fuck off, but there's ALSO a lot of humans who agree and want to preserve the earth too.

He's the Devil, silver-tongued and all. He just needs to shift to a more human look, make himself an identity, and it won't be long before he's the biggest name in green energy and conservation efforts. He doesn't need to take over humanity by force or violence, sure it would be faster but it would also leave scars.

He's still gonna kill a lot of people though, of course. Like, SO many politicians and CEOs across the world are dropping like flies, or getting possessed by demons, or being replaced or jailed. Charlie's disapproval isn't really gonna stop that, sorry sweetie, daddy's trying to save the planet and this was honestly the most peaceful way.

Wait whoops I went on a tangent here I'm sorry!!! Yes Jimmy still gets possessed by Castiel, but after the discovery that human possession isn't needed, he does let Jimmy go and gains the knowledge to create a body in a deal with Alastor.

1, Lilith is not going to be Lucifer's first demon, it's going to be Paimon, so HE'S going to be the 66th seal. It works because Paimon is going to be EXTREMELY loyal to Lucifer and would have absolutely no problem being the sacrifice that releases his lord from his prison.

2, Lilith isn't the Queen of Hell, and neither is Paimon despite him technically taking Lilith's place as the first demon. Paimon is still simply a prince, with a lowercase p. The Sins are Princes and Princesses in the Capital way, even though they were made after Paimon. Alastor? HE'S Queen. It takes a while, but Lucifer does eventually come to the conclusion that he WILL slaughter anyone who doesn't acknowledge Alastor as the Queen of Hell. That's his WIFE!

3, The second Alastor learns about the Winchesters and their importance you KNOW he's going to be fucking around with that, especially considering he is a Multidimensional Celestial Blindspot that God mistakenly believes he destroyed in the previous universe. At some point Castiel is going to see him and FREAK OUT because an Archangel's grace is ALL OVER this mortal soul what the FUCK— oh wow this is just OBSCENE.

No Alastor does not explain himself to any of them. He just disappears into his shadows laughing his ass off.

4, Charlie Bradbury simply would not die. Alastor would not allow it. She's a funky lil sapphic sunshine gal who literally has the name Charlie, she is NOT dying. (Is this just me being pissed that they killed off the lesbian character? YEAH, FUCK YOU. SHE DESERVES TO BE GAY WITH HER DOROTHY GIRLFRIEND IN FANTASY LAND.)

5, Alastor and Lucifer do eventually have Charlotte Morningstar, but only after Alastor does a LOT of manipulative maneuvers to make damn sure Lucifer doesn't become a shit father. Because he's INTIMATELY aware that this Lucifer is VERY different from the previous, and that could be bad news for Charlie's sweet and caring nature. Like, don't get him wrong he quite likes this Lucifer's darker nature, but Charlie is going to need a LOT of understanding that this darker natured Lucifer may not have.

His ways of manipulation is subtle because he makes it look like he's just being honest; by talking about the previous Lucifer and Charlie.

Alastor: Lu was consistently beaten down over and over again by heaven and his father until he was but a wisp of himself. *Deliberately does not explain that this wouldn't have been S!Lucifer's future considering the differences between them.*

Alastor: Charlie had a spark that her father had long since lost. She was stubborn and prideful like he was, but ambitious, reaching towards a goal that everyone said was impossible to accomplish. No one believed in her, not her subjects, not her parents, and heaven thought her to be a joke, barely something to acknowledge. But she did something that Lu had once dreamed of. She proved everyone wrong.

Lucifer: And how did she do that?

Alastor: Oh, this is the part where you'll sneer. She believed that mortal souls damned to Hell could be redeemed and cross the pearly gates.

Lucifer: Oh please—

Alastor: Ah ah ah, I'm speaking, darling! See, unlike you or Charlie's deadbeat father, SHE proved to everyone who had ever laughed at her that she was RIGHT. And you know what? Credit where credit's due, her deadbeat father didn't treat her the same way his father and family had treated him. He took pride in her accomplishment. He admitted he was wrong, something his father NEVER would have done, and therefore that alone is what made him better.

Alastor: ... And perhaps that is why the universe was snuffed out. He was broken down and chained and left to rot, and yet he was still better.

Essentially a Supernatural x Hazbin Hotel crossover, taking some inspiration from @kitsunesongs' Double Entry AU, specifically Fatherverse Lucifer again.

If y'all don't know Supernatural lore, I'll explain some to you because some of it seems VERY similar to Double Entry's fatherverse, with smaller key differences. (On that note, this may be spoilers for Double Entry so READ THAT FIRST, GO READ IT, GO!)

In Supernatural, instead of Roo, God wages war against Amara, his opposite, who cannot resist destroying anything he creates. Like Double Entry, God locks Amara away, except in Supernatural he leaves the lock with his most beloved angel, Lucifer. This lock is a Mark, and God has essentially cursed Lucifer to be slowly corrupted by Amara's influence over time.

It is this influence that ultimately led to Lucifer's rage, envy, and disgust when God created humanity and told the angels to bow to them. It's this influence that led to Lucifer refusing to bow and leading a rebellion. Those feelings would have still been there most likely, but nowhere near as deep without Amara whispering into his ear.

NOW. Back to the story idea.

Alastor gets transported into the Supernatural universe as disembodied soul in Hell, but this is in the wake of his original universe being completely destroyed. Not because of Roo like he and many others had been expecting, but because God was frustrated and just decided to destroy EVERYTHING. A whole universe, gone. Lucifer, Charlie, Vaggi, Lilith, his MOTHER, they're all gone, as though they never existed to begin with.

Alastor only survived because Roo liked him. And Roo liked him because unlike others, who she could only influence, whisper to, nudge along, she could SPEAK with him, and he could speak back without being corrupted. Almost as if he was made to be able to do so.

Perhaps he was, and this was God's mistake. Because it left Alastor with abilities that essentially allowed him to be a multidimensional blindspot, so long as he was trained to do it. And oh, of COURSE Roo trained him to do it. Anything that could potentially fuck over her jailor at some point in the future.

Unbeknownst to her, it's her teachings that allowed him to escape. And it is her teachings that allowed him to eventually reconstruct a body. Not the one he had in Hell previously, apparently the rules in this new universe don't allow appearances like that yet, but he could reconstruct his human body. It was a slow process, of course, but that meant very little, because time was extended in Hell, and the place seemed rather... barren. Nothing around to disturb him.

Once his body is constructed, he wanders around, and finds he doesn't quite like how THIS Hell is structured. Naturally, he does something about it, starts moving things around, shifting things, and in his slow exploration and organization of this empty Hell, he eventually comes across a Cage. One with a being so immense, so bright, he instantly realized based on biblical scripture who he was looking at.

The Light Bringer. The Morning Star. The Serpent.

A marked being whose mind is being warped... Well, lucky for him that Alastor can do something about that, with all his teachings. Of course, this Lucifer still thinks humans are filthy unworthy creatures, and Alastor truthfully kind of wants to punt his stupid face regardless of how enormous and unfathomable he is, (which honestly Lucifer is a little stunned by, what the fuck is wrong with this human??) but, well, Lucifer wasn't wrong for being angry at being told to submit.

Alastor's from the Jim Crow era south, he can understand the ugly feeling of being told you are LESSER, that you must bow your head to another. Lucifer just has a nasty problem of falling a little too close to the tree, because like God he ALSO seems to have an egomaniac problem that makes him think OTHERS should be considered lesser... (And Alastor can see that this attitude was exacerbated by the literal curse that God placed on his own damn kid, Yikes.)

Luckily, Lucifer's in a cage, and Alastor has all the time in the world to poke him back into having a brain. In fact, he has more time than he would have in the previous universe, given that time is MUCH slower in this Hell.

(Alastor could have totally just left him, but Lucifer is currently the only other being in Hell, and unfortunately Alastor already has a taste for Annoying Lucifer Specifically, even if this is a different version of his favorite mockery victim.)

This is essentially a canon divergence that leads to Supernatural verse getting a more Hazbin edge to it, in that Alastor "discovers" a way for holy and demonic beings to make themselves bodies without having to steal it from others (leading to a Hazbin Lucifer appearance), his direct influence leads to Lucifer creating the Seven Deadly Sins instead of the Four Princes of Hell, and Lucifer ABSOLUTELY becomes a major simp because Alastor Does Not Leave Him Alone, and he is, unfortunately, extremely charmed by this impossible human, despite all the teasing and mockery.

Because of Alastor being a blindspot, no one sees that he's essentially completely derailed all plans of the Winchesters being used as divine flesh suits and shattered any prophesies by way of giving Lucifer the ability to make whatever body he wants. Alastor's existence in the universe stops a lot of things really! He even prevents his birth in this universe by killing his shitbag father before he gets his horrible grubby hands on his mother. No doubles, and his mother remains safe and happy!

At some point he does tell Supernatural!Lucifer about the other universe, about how God simply decided to destroy everything on a whim, including this other version of Lucifer and Lucifer's daughter— and S!Lucifer quickly picks up that Alastor is genuinely upset about the destruction of this daughter. Because she shall NEVER exist in this universe.

To which S!Lucifer is like "bet" and decides he's going to get this human pregnant the second he escapes this cage. In fact, does he need to escape his cage, they could totally do it through the bars, c'mon darling he'll SO give you that baby girl, ask and you shall receive—

Alastor: I told him to stay out of my kitchen while I'm cooking

Vaggi: And????

Lucifer: So I said "Why? What are you going to do, stab me?"

Vaggi: ...

Like we know he has everything in him to suffer and have drama, but I just want to him to feel safe enough to start acting silly and been a complete dork. When I say awkward, I don't mean quiet edgy guy whose awkwardness makes you feel stupid and he look cooler, NO! I mean doing a bad joke that no one else gets and staying there in silence awkard .

Let him try to be normal, but failling to be normal. Like trying to say hi to someone and been too intimidating, and he knows he can look very intimidating so he tries to make a joke to break the ice but it is just too too dark, or too stupid, or too niche to be funny.

Give a Simon who has troubles with his hair and his only solution is blewing that thing off, because he forgot he has a elastic band. Give me a Simon that for once in his life had access to clothes with color and went ballistics with his outfit.

I just imagine him taking this second chance to live kinda seriously, so he tries really hard to have fun and be funny.

Extra + Grace and Rocky:

Let Simon, after the fear and paranoia calms, to be mesmerized by xenonite because he always was interested in creating things, and when Rocky starts teaching him how, he sucks at it, but he is stupidly happy to have created a happy face with xenonite.

Let him be like a child in those first calm interactions with Rocky, because he is a rock who sings, for Simon naturalist been this has to be the most awesome thing ever.

Give me a Simon who is trying really hard to connect with others without the whole this is a violent cult interaction in between, but he hadn't have an experience that wasn't taunted by that since he was a child so he is super rusty with his social skills.

Give him a jokes book (yes you heard/read me a jokes book) and he spends hours trying to get Grace or Rocky to laugh, but he always mess up the joke.

Let Simon be the one bombing Grace with questions about Earth, (i love the idea of Grace asking Simon about Mars, but let my boy have his chance too), while his eyes shine in wonder: "Did you really have forest covering kilometers and kilometers?" "Did you really learn how to swim in a real water ocean?" "Did animals just live freely around?" " Why does Rocky say that you are like a dog? What is a dog?" "How are the mountains? What is snow?"

Simon who is fascinated by Grace's sweaters and shirts, because they are soft and they have jokes too! Simon ugly laugh (ugly laughing should be permitted) by the jokes of those shirts.

Simon over sharing because he once heard that you can tell everything to your friends and that is easy to talk and share with them, and Rocky and Grace told him that they are his friends so he is trying really hard to accomplish his role as a friend.

Give me a Simon that doesn't understand that his life was quite traumatic, so he shares one of the most horrible details of his life and then procedes to do a dad joke, even when he is not a dad, because he hasn't understand what dad jokes consist yet, he just knows they are jokes and he founds them funny.

Simon singing karaoke as if is a duty because Grace told him that it was something that he used to do with his cowokers and friends in earth to loss the tensions, relax and connect, and Simon is like: "Relax and connection? I got it" and then sings "call me maybe" with the seriousness of a coronel in the middle of war.

If he is suffering from scurvy and starvation with Grace in their way to Erid he would make jokes about it, Grace would have kill him for how annoying he was, but he didn't have the energy to do so

Extra + Adrian:

When Simon and Adrian were introduced, Simon made one of his bad/dark jokes and Adrian laugh, truly laugh, and in that moment Simon realized that they were going to become best friends.

Extra + Mutation/ Amputation:

If Simon was mutated he would be the first one to made fish jokes.

He also love the "can you give me a hand" jokes.

Grace and Rocky don't know if is worse to laugh with him or not.

Extra Extra + Bloodymary:

When Grace falls in love, he would be laughing at those jokes super hard. He always tries to laugh at them, because Simon is trying, but if he is interested in Simon, Rocky would go "I know what you doing" and tease him.

When Simon falls in love he is trying all the pick up lines he had ever heard, read or learn.

He will accidentally use or made doble meaning jokes and pick up lines, but he would not know this and Grace is just blushing and dying in silence. Rocky laugh at the situation and Simon is super proud thinking it was thanks to his joke.

"Si? Where'd you go?"

"Sorry angel, I'll be right there!"

*Simon turns back to the camera with a glare*

"This is NOT over"

It was a video diary from Grace, but the person in the video wasn’t Grace. And it wasn’t that alien, Rocky, either. This was another human. 

He was Asian, though not the same one she sent into space. This one had dark, wavy hair that went down to his shoulders. He had a trimmed beard and brown eyes. Eva didn’t recognise him at all. 

“Alright,” He said, “Grace isn’t going to tell you off, because of course he isn’t. He’s a kind, perfect angel. But I’m not.” He was whispering, but still had a stern, almost yelling quality in his voice. “You are one fucked up, selfish bastard, you know that? Sending someone into space without their consent. If it meant that much, you go into space, you commit suicide, you don’t send someone else. I don’t care what fucking excuse you come up with, sending Grace shouldn’t have even been a thought. As soon as he said no, that’s no, that’s done.”

A tired voice came from the background. 

“Si?” Grace. “Where’d you go?”

“Sorry, angel, I’ll be there in a second,” The guy said, looking behind him. “I’m not done with you,” He seethed into the camera. 

Then just like that, the video switched to another log of Grace, like nothing ever happened. 

A few logs later, this “Si” came up again.

“You think I don’t know how it feels?” Again, his voice was hushed like he was trying to hide. “How it feels to be sent into oblivion? I know exactly how it feels. And Grace is the last person in the galaxy who deserves that. Me? I deserved it. I had to pay for what I’ve done, but Grace? All he ever did was good, and you–”

“What Simon doing, question?” Rocky’s recorded voice came up. 

“Be quiet, Rocky, Grace is trying to sleep,” Simon scolded. 

“Apology,” Rocky said. His real voice was quiet, but the recording was just as loud. Simon grumbled something and went to turn down the volume on the computer. “Thank Simon.” The voice was quieter now. 

“No problem,” Simon said. 

“Answer question, statement.” 

“What question?”

“What Simon doing, question?” Rocky repeated. 

“Ah, I’m telling that bitch Eva off,” Simon said, “For sending Grace into space without his permission.” 

“Rocky want turn, Rocky want turn!” Rocky chanted. 

“Sure thing, man,” Simon said awkwardly, turning the camera toward his alien friend. “Have at it.” 

“Eva is [unknown word] and deserves die for sending Grace die. Only fair. Grace kind teacher, loves students, loves job, loves life. Did not deserve space. Did not ask for space. Bad bad bad bad, Eva. [Unknown word] [unknown word] [unknown word].” Simon snickered. He typed onto the laptop, changing the translation. “Bitch, bitch, bitch.” 

“Well put, Rocky,” Simon said, patting the back of Rocky’s xenonite ball. 

“Thank Simon,” Rocky said. 

As they continued scolding her, she decided to just skip past this part. She didn’t need to hear criticism for what was clearly the right choice.