And Who Could Forget Dear Rat Boy?

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

How to become normal under 48 hours

How to become normal Speedrun any%

I keep getting tourism ads revolving around the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence and I think there is this thought that this will be like the bicentennial in 1976 and all these businesses will profit from patriotic merch sales and tourism to historical sites and it’s so out of touch it’s insane. Nobody is proud to be an American. I’ve never been patriotic but I’m not even in the mood to be like “FUCK King George! FUCK British colonial rule.” Just reading the Declaration of Independence hurts because that shit is so ironic.

you could follow the genuinely funny poster who is going to be gone in 6 months, or you could follow me, the mediocre-to-okayish poster who's been on tumblr for 11.5 years and will be here until the flames finally reach and destroy the data center with our precious memories

blue raspberry is fucked up cause it doesn't make sense but then u taste it and it Does taste like if a raspberry was blue

i don’t feel like debating that topic much farther bc truthfully if it comes down to “women will lose to men in every sport bc they don’t have as much testosterone!!!!!” my elite feminist response is honest to god “ok we will lose with honor as equals instead of having our own special Easy Mode Female category so we can win amongst ourselves” like i’m sorry i just can’t be persuaded. i’m a brick wall. i want co-ed sports

i bring a sort of “women can lose at some sports against men if it means being regarded as equals” vibe to the debate that “testosterone objectively increases performance” people don’t really like

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

if you want me to consume a new media you MUST catch me at the exact moment when the stars are aligned and the air pressure is equal to the current degree of the sun’s peak against the horizon and all the cosmic energies are perfectly unified (aka my old interest is fading out) or i will nod and say “im adding that to my list!” Knowing theres no chance i will check it out

“unless its a book!” “unless you tell me it has gay people in it!” “this but only for live action shows” “theres a good chance i’ll get to it eventually” no wrong this post is not for you this post is ONLY for bitches who could have a treasured friend recommend them something that sounds grown in a lab to be your personal catnip and, with no choice in the matter, immediately know it will never be the right time to watch/read/listen to it

[deeply concerned] whose pussy is this?