Ninjacat64's dank meme repository

op trying to make a metaphor but everyone in the notes just going "ya no this is just what customer service is like"

Sitting here watching the delivery tracker app as the little icon of the car very slowly increases in width while remaining in the same spot knowing it's just a glitch of some kind, but, like, imagine.

Peering sourly at my phone like "ah shit, they sent the Wide Car again".

I love when it decides to correct a desync between the app and the location, so it just shows the car doing a blues brothers through several culdesacs and a lake.

tumblr tip: dragons and other fantastical creatures can lay a postegg

Oh, that's a shame. I'm neither warm blooded nor human but I do have a cozy warm house....

oh i would love to be invited in to your cozy warm house please may i enter your cozy warm house i promise i mean you no harm. um. by the way, completely unrelated hypothetical question; what does ur blood taste like and do u think it would taste good cold or do u think it would heat up alright in say a microwave hypothetically ?

Well come on in and have a cup I don't mind. Snakes are very hospitable like this. I think my blood probably doesn't taste very good but I do have a microwave

did u say snake??? wait do u have fangs too omggg do u also have fangs can i see ur fangs i’ll show u mine omg we can be fang friends…… if. if you wanted to be……

Yesss dude I've always wanted to be fang friends with someone

move aside. this is nothing for an experienced egglayer such as myself. There's techniques to this. You just have t[sinks beneath the surface of the balls never to be seen again]

having a body that is inconvenient and hard to do a lot of things with but loving it anyways because it feels like you >>>>>>>

ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!

I understand what you are trying to say, but that doesn't mean it's a good metaphor. Bananas aren't menacing, so even it effectively conveys the shape of the claws, it just seems silly.

lately my kids have been playing Baby Knife, which consists of somebody acting as a baby with knife hands chasing people while going "baby knife baby knife" over and over. is this a thing or are they just insane

we have a new teacher this year who has never had kindergarten before & she rounded em all up & told em No Baby Knife and No Zombies and idk how to tell her that 1. all kindergarten recess games boil down to Give Birth And Kill Each Other and 2. the absurd vaguely inappropriate games they make up are usually better than when they try to play an Actual game like soccer

Baby Knife is straightforward. theres a baby knife. baby knife chases you. thats about it. when they try to play Real Sports every single child is playing by a different set of rules unbeknownst to the others and none of them are playing by the Actual rules. everybody is mad at everybody else and running up to tell on their colleagues for cheating every 3 minutes. this doesnt happen when they play Baby Knife

We were incredibly boring. We played "murder ball" which was just Capture the Flag over the whole school grounds (outdoors only) and violence was permitted using the ball.

we had British Bulldogs which was where one line of kids had to get past another line of kids (and vice versa) and violence was expected, much like we imagine dodgeball to be

i bet count von count has killer fuckin music taste