Nightmares Galore

also you are never going to be safe for people for whom english is their second language. if someone clarifies their meaning and apologises and you can't accept that over the original wording then don't bother pretending to be autism friendly.

and like part of my autism is that i become convinced that the way i interpret words is the way that they're meant. my autism is disabling to my communication abilities. i have poor emotional regulation, i jump to conclusions. a lot of my reactions are informed by prior negative experiences. i can and probably have been overly defensive in the past.

and i've been misinterpreted so much and had my words picked over and mocked for saying the wrong things and mocked for being unable to say anything at all and it always feels devastating. it's ironic that the same disability that has me treated poorly would have me react poorly to a similar situation, but that's just how it is.

Everyone saying that endogenic systems stole plural from systems with CDDs need to please step back.

That term was made to include them. It was not made for exclusively for people with CDDs. (Hell, some people with CDDs don't see themselves as plural!) It was created because there was simply a need for a general term to describe experiences of being more than one in a body.

Endogenic systems are not a threat to people with DID. If you've had bad experiences with an endogenic system, it wasn't because they're endogenic, that was just a bad person. Endogenic systems are not claiming to have DID either unless they suffered trauma after their system formed. In that case they have clear memories of their system existing before they got hit with trauma that made them dissociate/get a disorder.

Also, being constantly fakeclaimed and harassed and told to die and that you're not real is actually actively harming people. It harms people with CDDs to hear it so what makes you think it isn't harming endogenic systems?

We're getting real tired of anti-endos going "OMG ENDOS STOLE PLURAL FROM US"

No, you stole plural from everyone who's inclusive and don't care about how we all ended up with headmates (or whatever term you like to call your parts) then you all constantly complain about endogenic systems invading your spaces and stealing resources when that's what I've seen anti-endos doing. Some of you join pro-endo spaces to collect screenshots to make fun of and harass people. How about staying in your own lane and leaving people alone? Seriously.

"Are there any sources for the term plural being pro-endo?"

I actually dug into this not too long ago, but the furthest back I can find of the term plural would be from 2003 on this archive (link) that supports non-traumagenic plurals

Support for non-traumagenic plurality can be seen with this post, which is linked on the previous can be seen here (link).

Even Astraea's definition of plurality, which does not indicate trauma is the only defining factor can be seen here (link) as recently as 2023

Astraea also states on their blog (unsure of pronouns, feel free to correct me): "Again, trauma-dissociation-splitting-amnesia is not the experience of all multiples, although a few report they know for a fact that's what happened to them. But there are multiples who were never abused at all; others who were and remember perfectly well. None of this is universal. Again, many multiples now believe origins do not matter; what matters is for the different selves in the group to cooperate, making a life for themselves in the present and working together to resolve past issues if any." This quote can be found here (link).

Accusation: Heni hates neopronouns and is transphobic.

The TLDR Truth: Heni would not allow someone in the Ourcana server, which is for all ages and has minors in it, to use slut and whore pronouns (which also happens to be against Discord TOS and can get your account terminated and a whole server deleted). This system also runs the syscest-culture-is blog and seemingly allows minors to answer NSFT asks, as seen with Mod Aether being a bodily minor and with the knowledge that Mod Unity (former mod) were both confirmed to be a bodily minor, which should draw criticism to SOA's partner wanting to use Whore and Slut pronouns in a family server.

EDIT AND UPDATE: Ignore striked out portions of this post, as I received a DM you will see down the line

(Hopefully Final) EDIT!: SOA has further contacted me and we discussed the situation at hand in depth. I came to the understanding that SOA, and its partner, Sukuna, were not acting maliciously, but rather have a poor understanding of social spaces and personal boundaries. As found, this was just pure negligence rather than genuine malicious intent. So please bear that in mind. I do not delete posts, but will add clarity when I'm wrong or off-base. So while my language in this post is still speculative, just keep in mind, this was not malicious intent, and I will defend genuine ignorance and educate on what went wrong. This post is now for archival and education purposes. There is also further evidence that SOA protested minor mods on the SCI blog and screenshots will be provided at the bottom. So while it was oblivious and negligent in Heni's server, my information that has a strike are all inaccurate to the situation and will be rectified at the bottom of the post.

Plain Text: (Hopefully Final) EDIT!: SOA has further contacted me and we discussed the situation at hand in depth. I came to the understanding that SOA, and its partner, Sukuna, were not acting maliciously, but rather have a poor understanding of social spaces and personal boundaries. As found, this was just pure negligence rather than genuine malicious intent. So please bear that in mind. I do not delete posts, but will add clarity when I'm wrong or off-base. So while my language in this post is still speculative, just keep in mind, this was not malicious intent, and I will defend genuine ignorance and educate on what went wrong. This post is now for archival and education purposes. There is also further evidence that SOA protested minor mods on the SCI blog and screenshots will be provided at the bottom. So while it was oblivious and negligent in Heni's server, my information that has a strike are all inaccurate to the situation and will be rectified at the bottom of the post. End Plain Text.

The full truth as stated in my other post as well as additional information I was given and found:

So I did way more digging. And firstly, Hydor is a mod of @/syscest-culture-is

And this is easy to find because the user in the Screenshots is "Sounds of Aquarius || SOA"

You can actually see, at the bottom of the message, it's in the syscest safespace discord server.

And Aether has responded to it, who is also a mod on the blog.

But you can tell Hydor is SOA because if you hover over the link in the pinned post, you see this pop up

Which leads to this

Which brings a whole new bit of horror with the situation where its boyfriend(?) was wanting to use Whore and Slut pronouns in a server full of minors.

And it kind of tried to paint that as that wasn't the case, and that it was only "pet" and "toy" (which they claimed were only sexual in when used with whore and slut), but there IS a screenshot of its partner with pronouns in pets display name.

You can't really see it here, but if you zoom in on the screenshot Heni sent....

Sukuna (toy/pet/he/it/slut/whore)

Now, I'm not in the servers mentioned, but I know Ourcana is a family friendly server.

As I stated, having NSFW in your name or public profile is against TOS, as seen here:

I'd also like to point out that Heni DID say that it was against Discord TOS as reasoning for the ban:

I would also like to point out, I was told that the reason Tranzi, Heni's girlfriend stepped in to warn Sukuna, was because Heni was triggered and obviously not in the right headspace when this all went down, but Heni's presence was DEMANDED for the event. And she was just supposed to act like... She wasn't triggered?

And I'll even address SOA's nitpick:

As I pointed out with Discord TOS, this would actually fall under "Sexually suggestive content in any content that may evoke sexual arousal without being overt"

As my initial post had to say in regards to SOA's nitpick here:

""Without being overt, aka being "subtle". Like if you even imply something that could illicit arousal, that is a BANNABLE offense. FROM DISCORD. Not even just from a server. FROM DISCORD, THE APP, ITSELF. As in, Discord Staff will TERMINATE YOUR ACCOUNT for content like this. Just having whore and slut pronouns could have put a server in JEOPARDY. And you're... whining... about being banned... from a server... that had non-consenting parties and minors...

Sorry, but when it comes to ANYTHING sexual, there's a time and a place, and it all hinges on consent, too. You exposed NON-CONSENTING INDIVIDUALS and MINORS to sexual content and put a server in jeopardy. Are you stupid? And now you're spreading this idea that an app dev in charge of a FAMILY FRIENDLY SERVER is transphobic for asking "Whore" and "Slut" to be removed from a display name???

And this isn't even to mention that a LOT, and I& mean a LOT, of systems have SEXUAL TRAUMA AND SEXUAL TRAUMA FROM CHILDHOOD. Even as a system that copes with such things by being sexual my&self, not all systems do!! A lot of systems may still have heavy trauma responses to sexual content.

It is important for you to be mindful in these kinds of spaces. Do not expose non-consenting individuals and minors to covert sexual content."

But I bring this up because of the negligent behavior that Hydor has displayed, not only in getting mad that its boyfriend got banned for being inappropriate with minors, but that it also runs an NSFW blog with a supposed BODILY MINOR MOD. That mod being Mod Aether (and formerly Mod Unity).

The pinned post claims that only adult mods deal with NSFW asks, but... That's not true.

This has been such a problem that anons have had to point it out

And when this was pointed out, Mod Aether responded and Mod Hydor also had input

So this brings up a LOT of concern with the picture that has been painted of Heni thus far, because Hydor and Aether (and subsequently another blog where I found these screenshots) are trying to paint Heni as transphobic for not respecting someone's pronouns.

But when you look at the fact Hydor's boyfriend was trying to use Slut and Whore pronouns in a server that has MINORS in it, and then you point out that Hydor has a blog where it has underage mods dealing with NSFW asks.

I have MAJOR concerns about this. I'm aware teenagers will teenager and look at NSFW content. But being around adults that are willing to be sexual and allow sexual content in front of minors... It never ends well and almost always ends with the minor being groomed and sexually abused.

So keep this in mind when it comes to "Heni is transphobic and against neopronouns >:(" rumors being spread around.

This post actually came to my attention as well, which shows just how negligent Hydor seems to be:

And Mod Unity seems to have left the blog, someone who WAS a bodily minor and answered NSFW posts as well:

Which Hydor has also spoken on knowing that Mod Unity is a minor:

And I also want to point out that I have been saying that Aether is a supposed bodily minor because someone brought it to my attention that Aether may actually be part of SOA's system or a subsystem within that system.

What makes me say this? Well, this post, actually:

(Just to be snarky, no you did not get banned for "having pronouns", you got banned for breaking Discord TOS and exposing minors and non-consenting parties to kink)

As well as these screenshots that my anonymous source gave me:

So Aether, and therefore Hydor, may be obfuscating their systems for some level of euphoria regarding age or even potentially for kink purposes, and I lean towards the latter considering everything I've pointed out here.

I would also like to mention I've been told that SOA and Sukuna ARE back in the Ourcana server, and were actually let back in shortly after the pronoun situation that started all of this, and yet even with being let back into the server, just like they wanted, they went to a "Shit Heni's Done" blog just to make a callout post.

I won't get into Heni's trauma, as that was already posted without her consent, PUBLICLY by SOA, but there's obviously some level of sexual trauma (considering the pronouns that triggered her), and that's extremely common with traumatized systems. This isn't some bizarre revelation about systems. I know very few traumatized systems that didn't go through sexual trauma of one flavor or another, and you can find it ALL over traumagenic system tags. There's a high likelihood that Heni wasn't the only one triggered, but since Ourcana doesn't really allow excessive communication, many people likely did not open up about being triggered by said pronouns, when they potentially were.

But again, it is also just inappropriate to expose minors and non-consenting individuals to kink or anything of a sexual nature.

And again, this comes from a system that DOES have members that use slut and whore pronouns. They just don't use those pronouns in front of people who don't consent or can't consent.

Sounds of Aquarius has been EXTREMELY negligent at best with exposing kinks to minors and non-consenting individuals (and I don't want to see you try to "Sexual exposure is WORSE than sexual pronouns because I WENT THROUGH THAT" because I went through it too, subtle manipulation is how it creeps into worse and worse territory), and downright predatory at worst.

I, personally, think SOA and its partner should be banned with this in mind, but I will leave that up to Heni and her mod team.

ADDED EDIT:

To add: But honestly, that makes the situation worse, because that means Mod Aether IS a bodily minor who was answering NSFW asks. I was actually giving Hydor the benefit of the doubt by saying they were part of the same system, since that would mean Mod Aether was just being a little deceptive about their age (even if it was creepy, it, atleast, meant a bodily adult was answering NSFW asks).

I will also point out: "Sukuna was only given a few minutes to correct it and was banned before it could fix it"

I will callout this behavior because it's a repeated offense. Sukuna should have NEVER had NSFW pronouns in a FAMILY FRIENDLY server to begin with. I feel like that's common knowledge, to not have inappropriate pronouns or names in front of people who do not or cannot consent.

It is WILDLY IRRESPONSIBLE for someone to go into a family friendly server and use NSFW pronouns. Imagine using Whore or Slut pronouns as a teacher in a middle school. That's a fast way to get fired and possibly put on a registry.

And with minor mods answering NSFW asks, this is an ongoing problem that, if not pointed out, has a high chance of someone getting hurt and/or groomed.

Picking a fight with a mod team because you got mad that your boyfriend can't be called a whore or a slut in front of minors is not the fucking hill to die on, especially when you have a history beforehand of letting minors answer NSFW asks on a syscest blog.

As someone who was groomed online (and irl), this is literally the starting stage of grooming and it NEEDS to be pointed out.

I suggest Hydor find a confirmed bodily adult and replace Mod Aether (if they're not part of the same system) to prevent situations like this from happening again, especially since Mod Aether seems to like violating the consent of adults, as well.

This is not the hill you want to die on either way. Because none of these should have happened in the first place.

FURTHER ADDED EDIT:

Civility is dead. (Civility: I lived, bitch /silly)

Final edit:

As stated at the above portion of this post, this was not malicious or bad acting, but rather just a genuine misunderstanding of how social situations work. As a couple of their messages read:

"smth smth… yea that's the most accurate explanation honestly, we REALLy struggle with understanding and considering what other people think are 'normal' or 'obvious' boundaries and we definitely tend to stay in more isolated/curated spaces of just friends BECAUSE we have issues with people jumping to conclusions about innocent stuff a lot actually and it's just. exhausting. :< i was the main person involved in one particularly big incident [maybe not 'big' but… it really sticks with me personally] and i was… regressed for a month…. why am i sharing this? uhhhhhhhhh…………………………………………… oh our friend server used to be the official server for sooc [which is our biggest blog, about 720 followers rn and we love making servers] but iiiiiiiiiii shut it down, did a major transformation now, it's now a friend server that you have to be personally invite to, no publiic invites [...] and we're working on taking criticism too. which is also a bit of a balance but seems to be easier nowadays at least…….. i really don't think we would have gotten so mad immediately if the situation didn't involve and upset our boyfriend. which is also a bpd thing [i think] and we'll be sure to work on that and not let him become an fp but i really really really appreciate you giving us a second chance to have a conversation and im. gonna keep apologising for exe.s behaviour im so sorry i feel really really bad im gonna. im emotional auh"

I am all for giving people a second chance, and since the second time they approached me was much more civil (even if it irritated me at first). So, I urge everyone who's seen this post to do the same.

I am so sorry for the harm and confusion this has caused, and I want to be 100% transparent in my fuck ups and inaccuracies when I get them. I am always more than willing to correct where I am wrong.

While I am still of the stance SOA was oblivious and negligent, I do not believe it was any level malicious, especially not after the screenshots I received not too long ago. I would like to thank it for actually approaching me a second time after it calmed down.

My guy, I tried to make you look BETTER than you actually were, and then you called me an idiot??? For giving you the benefit of the doubt and not being super negligent around minors??? And you just had to come to me and say "actually, no, I AM that negligent!"

Stop harrassing devlopers.

STOP HARRASSING DEVELOPERS.

STOP. HARASSING. DEVELOPERS.

So many projects im following have people harrassing devs for "not being fast enough" "oh it cant host evrybody yet" "oh nooo it doesnt have as many capabilities yet" Okay, you try. YOU. FUCKING TRY. You make an app that can host everything you wish. On top of that, with hundreds to maybe even thousands of people constantly bomBARDING you with "Why isnt there [x] progress yet?"

App development is so hard. As someone who dabbled with the odea of making apps or games or whatnot, coding is hard?? it takes SO much time.

stop bombarding developers. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING SO MANY APPS OR SITES SO FAR ARE IN BETA.

oh and so i dont forget

STOP HARRASSING DEVELOPERS.

also. Just because you might not like a developer or what theyve done in the past, that STILL DOESNT MAKE HARRASSING OTHERS OKAY. even if the dev made a huge mistake or had character growth is literally anything, you dont get to harrass someone else. Theyre still a person like you. Theyre still alive and on this planet we share like you.

I& am going to further point this out.

You did not take action because "The evidence was too old" and "It was COCSA" and "Go to the police instead" So here's some fun facts from someone who only has "old evidence", "it resembled COCSA" and "go to the police instead"

Not to go too into detail about my experiences but as a teen, I& was exploited by an alleged 18 year old when I& was 13 (I say alleged because he constantly changed his age). This included having me strip on camera with threats for his own amusement. He was old enough to understand what he was doing was wrong. 17 is still old enough to understand you are doing something wrong. Especially when it's admitted to being done with "pedophilic intentions" (ew).

COCSA is still traumatizing. If this were something that happened when both parties were sub 10 years old, I'd understand not taking action without further evidence. But a 17 year old, generally speaking, has the knowledge that preying on children is bad. Especially when they admit it was intentional.

Here's what police do, as someone who has reported their abuser: Nothing. They have done NOTHING. Just a "We'll look into it" and nothing else. There is a reason why people who have gone through any form of sexual abuse don't report it. Almost nothing is ever done about it.

So if I& were to go into the mod chat, if we were there at this point in time, and said "Hey can you ban my abuser who's stalking me?" and share screenshots of said abuser threatening me if I& don't strip, portions of conversations about how he liked young girls (12-16 years old), or messages about how he wanted to SA me, I& would be told "No, sorry, that situation is too old :/ call the cops instead."

If this were a court of law and someone else from the Octocon server was abused as a minor and it was known that this individual was an abuser by staff? Atlas and staff would be held as accomplices to child sexual abuse. That's the serious shit we're talking about here. If someone had been abused in this server, especially during the time this person was allowed to stay in the server, they would have been accomplices to a CRIME. AN ACTUAL CRIME.

But NONE of this. NONE of this gets talked about because "Oh, Atlas has apologized though!!!" I& don't GIVE a god damn if he has. He constantly has to go after anyone and everyone to defend himself, that's a sign of someone who's only sorry because they got CAUGHT. And them shutting down Octocon because he CAN'T take the criticism is proof of that. He didn't own up to SHIT. They're just running away from it.

And yet very few people give him the same amount of shit as they do any of the other app dev. But especially Heni is getting shit on, an openly trans woman. Who has not even done anything NEAR as egregious as Atlas, and yet she gets callout post after callout post after callout post. The biggest criticisms towards Atlas were being anti-endo, almost NEVER the fact he let a predator roam among children.

I'm so serious, SHUT THE FUCK UP about Heni's upset posts or how she's "behaving immaturely". She made bad jokes. She made bad posts. She worked with AI because god forbid people need fucking jobs in the tech industry. EVERY APP DEV has done shit that deserves to be called out, and yet it's ONLY focused on the trans woman!!! NOT EVEN THE ACTUAL PREDATORY SYSTEM APPS ARE BEING CALLED OUT AS MUCH AS HENI IS BEING CALLED OUT!!!