Nico Woods

INSTAGRAM: @NICOWOODS HAS UPLOADED A NEW PHOTO!

I’ma go ahead and say it… Our birthdays were WILD this go around! Goal of the year (until further notice): Not to let @gimmeremy get hexed or turned into ice. Happy 19th birthday to my number one girl!

Under Hyperactive House’s Christmas tree, wrapped with a card.

Merry Christmas, beautiful. 

Left outside of Layland’s bedroom door, wrapped with a card.

I wasn’t really sure what to get you. I know golf--thus the ball cleaner and the Potty Putter--but besides that, I was kind of at a loss.The watch idea was technically a fluke thanks to Sylvie, but I figured it was a decent one.

Merry Christmas,

Nico Woods

P.S. I’m currently enlisting some help with the wrapping from said hyperactive blonde, so sorry if there is glitter.

P.P.S Don’t worry, she made the cookies too.

Kristina: God, Flynn would have so much fun with a ghost. That almost makes me want to put him in the running for who I'd haunt, I've been told I should try creating joy more often or whatever.

Kristina: Also, with how rich his family is, I'm sure I'd have even better bathtub pipes to float around in than Moaning Myrtle.

Nico: Man, I'm picturing him thinking he's giving his ghost bud a high five but the ghost being on the completely other side of him and that image alone made my night, lol. You already create joy, so don't go around creating too much. Might start making people worry.

Kristina: Unoriginal, but I guess you can have points for taste. You could do a lot worse than Remy.

Kristina: Since it's spooky szn™, it's totally normal to have ghostlife on the brain, right? But I can't figure out like, what ONE person I'd want to haunt 5ever if I died tomorrow. Do you have a future hauntee picked out yet?

Noli: OR they know I'm a boyfriend-sharer and just think this is Layland 2.0 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Which is 100% the more plausible option cause I've been getting weekly DMs about it.

Noli: lmaoooo it would be SO lame. But twist my arm, I guess I'll say it again: I liiiiiiiiiiiiiike you. Kori would never beat you up, omg. They're 1) too smol and 2) so not jealous like that, and 3) NOT MY REAL JOYFRIEND dklasskldjl

Nico: Have you really?!? I'm sorry, that's trash. People don't know when to let things be.

Noli: SoooooooooooooOOOOOOoooooooo

Noli: hi :)

Noli: Just thought you should know since I'm kind of publicly fake-kissing Kori and therefor can't publicly kiss you, which like...I already messed up, clearly, lol. But I just wanted to tell you in case you forgot that you're cute and I like you. :)

Nico: Well, damn.

Nico: Hi to you too. :D

Nico: You and Kori are very convincing, pretty sure anybody that knows we kissed is chalking that up to temporary insanity and/or pity, so your cover is still secure. ;) I definitely forgot that I'm cute though, so thank you for reminding me.

Tally: I’m making a list of all the clubs Team Ten is joining in the fall that way we can all coordinate our schedules better to fit Molly’s dream of having epic parties or whatever. Care to share any plans?

Nico: We'd fall into even more chaos with you, Tal.

Nico: Fall is my down period, I've only got football and I'm gonna pass on any clubs, so I'm pretty open. It's Winter and Spring that'll be a mess.

Noli: aaaAAAAHHHHH SHUT UPPPPPP you're so cute. If I weren't fake dating Kori now, I'd ask you to whatever event we're having instead of WaltFest.

Noli: I was NOT the most beautiful person at the masquerade ball that was definitely Jac Potts 😋 But thanks. ❤️❤️❤️ I'm so not gonna let a stupid boy reappearing into my life derail me from the most epic Freshman year of college anyone's ever had. Enough about you checking on me, though, cause I'm FINE I PROMISE, can I check on you? How are you?

Nico: LOL! You're fake dating Kori? Do I even want to feed my curiosity and ask why? You could always save me a dance? 0:D I don't know if it's a dance or anything, but you can dance anywhere, right? And friends dancing isn't suspicious at all, so your cover can't be blown, lol.

UN! That sounds awfully tragic for you since that won’t be changing anytime soon, mon cher. DEUX. I don’t believe you. That’s absolutely disgusting and I refuse to believe that you do not have a choice in this matter. TROIS. You’re an idiot but you at least know that flattery gets you everywhere with me. 😍 BUT I’LL STILL USE PAST TENSE AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME. You threatening to make me smell you hurts way worse than anything my words could ever do to you! So nope, Rico is deceased despite how much I loved it.

EINS! My life would be more tragic without you, so I’ve accepted this, in a charmingly deluded way, of course. ZWEI! Why would I lie about something as serious as nugs??? DREI! (Sidenote: I love you and I’m sorry it sounds like I’m angry yelling at you, but I didn’t make the rules as to why everything in the German language sounds angry and even though I know I won’t win this, I can’t go down too easy, so you get angry sounding numbers.) What can I say? I know my girl! DO NOT MAKE ME BREAK OUT THE PUPPY DOG EYES, REMY DUPONT! I’LL DO IT! I SWEAR TO GOD, I’LL DO IT! TEAR BRIMMED AND EVERYTHING. I’m not threatening! Never threatening! Promising? Definitely. But never threatening. Also, bold of you to just lie out in public like that, because Rico lives on in both our hearts AND REALITY. 

ONE. My judgement has never once gone below a five, especially not for you who my sixes are almost solely for. TWO. Do you? Because a craving for Mickey D’s says you don’t. THREE. You started off without real words, which is the only reason I’m even continuing the pattern because I feel like it’s my duty as a person to teach you what real words are. I loved you too, but now you’re threatening to be mean to me and that hurts my heart. So RIP Rico, because now we’re enemies. Too bad, super sad.

UN. I believe this, but still do not accept this! DUE. I do! The body wants what the body wants! And sometimes my body wants twenty (20) nuggets of goo! TRE. That’s besides the point, I’m an idiot, we all know that. And for someone who makes it their duty to teach me what real words are, you sure leave me at a lose for them far too often. STOP USING PAST TENSE.Your word wizardry HURTS. But also, stinky pit hugs are not a threat, but an inescapable inevitability and Rico will forever live on! 

FIRST OF ALL! Ew. SECOND OF ALL! Italians are supposed to have a better taste in food. So at least act like it and stop eating Mickey Ds! THIRDLY! That’s so lame. I doubt any kind of mathematician set that up. It’s probably just about saving as much money as possible and charging fatasses for extra sauce. Be better than them! And if you need attention so bad, I know one best friend of your’s that actually doesn’t have anything better to do yet and probably would’ve loved to pay attention to you before finding out that you probably smell like fast food flatulence.

FIRSTLY! Your judgement is at a Level 6 right now, I’ma need it at a gracious 3, please! SECONDLY! I have amazing taste in food, but when you get a craving, you get a craving! THRICELY! That’s not a word, but I wanted to stay in the pattern and I didn’t want to copy you! Also, probably, but still, that’s some crap. Dont use past tense, I love you! And you know I always love attention from you! And giving you attention! ANd just for that fast food flatulence joke (that alliteration, though), I’m going to come over and hug you before I shower after my work out today. AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

Does it matter? It’s all the same gross pink slime pushing you one inch closer towards the grave anyway. Why even bother worrying about how much extra goo you get to put on top of it? Actually! Don’t bother answering that! You have a job, Nicolai. Eat real food.

FIRSTABLE! It could! SECONDABLE!  I’m Italian, I barely eat anything that isn’t a starch or carb as is, so I’ve already got one foot in the grave. THIRDLYABLE! That's not the point, Rem! I’m a man of the people! And I can’t be the only person who wants to know what failed mathematician set that up! That and it’s been a slow summer and I’m possibly a little attention starved, so wondering minds gotta know!