EASY // 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕢𝕦𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪

      hunting down a stray cat to adopt as the band mascot was exactly the type of chaotic but good natured activity the two would get up to. which was why nick had found himself in desirae’s presence so often. she was the kind of girl to leave you feeling happy, a rare thing for nick and his moody tendencies. even when it had lead them to wandering the dark streets on a cold night. “how exactly are we going to catch this cat? I have absolutely no experience with any pet.” nick was willing to try though. the creature had pulled at his heartstrings, something he hadn’t been expecting. desirae having cats herself, he new she would be the perfect partner for this mission. “I feed it from time to time. that’s probably why it continues to come back, right?”

   palo was by far his most hate-filled relationship in this band. that feeling was mutual. but nick had found himself in a strange place, lost in feelings he didn’t want to have. she had been the only person to drag him out of it, the only voice of reason he had been interested in listening to. deciding to paint the bus was the perfect relief he needed, and he had invited palo along for the wild ride. he wasn’t expecting any sort of friendship to blossom from this, but vandalising the bus was a big commitment, one that he would rather have palo on his side for, rather than her usual disapproval. so here he was, ten a.m. and dressed in all black, with two buckets of paint in hand. just as promised. “there is no backing out now, palo. are you ready ?” said with such seriousness it was almost ridiculous. but she was used to his annoying tendencies by now.

    an intense moment passed as they held each other’s gaze, specks of browns and blues, talking without words. it was difficult to accept that these two would always linger between the lines, a blurred mess where nick refused to own up to any feelings and attachments that may linger. then he’s met with an apology, one that could be for anything; the sticks, the misunderstandings or the wrongdoings. nick had opened his mouth to echo the sentiment back, but nothing came out. for if he had started to share every sorry percy had truly deserved, they would be here for an infinite amount of time. nick hadn’t always been easy to love, but percy always had, anyway, with open arms and fierceness. so even after the storm that had occurred between them, percy was reaching for him. always ready to fix any pain that nick had challenged him with. even when it had been so obviously difficult for him to do so. just as it had been in this moment, evident in his deep brown hues, glassy with tears. nick had drowned in them for a moment, until he couldn’t stand the suffocation, shooting his gaze down to the hand that was being held out, like a lifeline. nick stared at his palm for a moment, the delicate lines and prints of his life permanently marked on the soft skin. these hands had always held nick steady. but percy had decided to snatch them away, leaving him lost. could he fix it ? the drumsticks were possibly damaged to the extent of no return. but maybe something here could still be repaired, if nick accepted his help. “I want you to try.” as if nick were gifting him his life, he carefully placed the splintered pieces of wood into percy’s hand, fingertips brushing against his skin. “if they can’t be fixed, nothing will be okay ever again.”

   though alex stepped away, it didn’t feel far enough. watching her kick the pieces of what used to be her former guitar, he stopped, for the first time, to consider that maybe she hadn’t touched his drum kit. something that caused his chest to tighten in a state of panic. her following words making it all the more unbearable. of course she would threaten to leave. that’s what people did. he couldn’t beg her to stay, not after this. when he spoke again, his voice was shaken and quieter, unable to find the volume he had before. “if you’re feeling guilty, it’s because you should. but we both know you won’t quit. although I wish to god or satan or whoever the fuck is listening, you would.” just as he believed they had reached rock bottom, she dealt him the lowest blow. speaking of feelings that she hadn’t bothered to tell him about, ones that had been so cruelly short-lived. “feelings for me ? you have feelings for everyone. don’t put that on me, it’s not fair.” something shifted in the air, sadness overcoming him. he willed the rage to come back, but it refused.

    nick was all too willing to remind him of the conversation if need be. despite the overall consensus that it was a terrible idea, he would ignore it. damned the consequences. he was chasing the rare sensation of feeling any bit complete. right now, finn was the closest he could get to it. “different ? that I can be. I can be whatever you want.” it rang true that nick was different from anything finn had been used to. a sharp knife to cut through every edge of finnian’s softness. with the definitive sound of the laptop closing, it was obvious the decision had been made. nick could never burn alone, bring those around him down just the same. therefore nick wasted little time before leaning in and crashing their lips together in a hard and messy manner. with such passion he pushed finnian’s small frame back onto the couch. finally easing the tension that had come to a head. heavy breathing filled the room as nick pulled back just enough to mumble against his lips, “that conversation.”

     nick was feeling angry to the point that words were not registering anymore. only able to note the denials he had expected from her. “bullshit ! I know it was you ! you always threatened to do it and now you have.” his grip only tightened on the guitar, feeling the need to break it into a thousand pieces. “why did you do it ? because you’re mad at me ? because of something I didn’t even do !” nick shook his head in frustration, his blue hues glaring into hers. a look that could kill. a situation he shouldn’t have been involved in at all, but it had evolved. nick was already particularly sensitive about anybody touch his drum kit, but after such high emotions fuelled by alex, this had caused him to snap. “you’re so petty, alex.” it was her last words that sent him over the edge, losing any self control he had in the moment. had he ever cared ? of course he had. but he was his father’s son, after all. so nick did the only thing he knew to do in a situation like this. he gripped the guitar with two hands, and connect it to the floor with one swift motion. the loud sound of destruction filled the room as pieces scattered to the floor. not satisfied with the damage, he lifted it over his head once again before connecting another fatal blow. a decision he would certainly regret later, but for now it was the only one that relieved him of the emotions tormenting his soul.

    the faint click of finn filing through the photos was the only thing to be heard, but not enough to distract him in the least. completely forgotten as he gained a newfound interest. so painfully obvious in the way nick had glanced at finnian’s lips, noting the small smile, and just how kissable it was. “I can’t blame you, being around the team can be a little exhausting. I’m sure you would like to escape from me too ... occasionally.” bodies pressed together, that fairytale spark was never present for nick, only a hungry need to get his hands on someone. in this moment, he wanted finn. so although he shouldn’t, he did. leaning in as a smile found its way to his lips, charmingly so. “is that conversation we had on your mind ?” his lips hovered over his, not allowing them to touch. nick had to play this with care, thinking through every movement. a long moment passed before he allowed himself to ease the tension, pressing a small and teasing kiss to the corner of finn’s mouth. nick had never shied away from a hook up, especially when his body was buzzing as it was. good idea or otherwise.

    nick was often single-minded and good at feeling one emotion — anger. so he wasn’t coping well with the bundled mix of thoughts and feelings that were currently haunting him, all due to percy. the worst part of it was, it felt like a situation they couldn’t come back from. nick, simply, believed him to be too stubborn and proud to allow it. but deep down, he knew there was the possibility he had opened himself up to be hurt. a mistake nick didn’t often make. the influence of heavy alcohol in his system heightening every raw emotion, only causing a stronger pull. when he had broken his lucky drumsticks, is when thoughts had turned to action. although he had ordered himself to stay away, under palo’s much needed guidance, he was searching for his band mate. nick was unsure of which emotion percy would be presented with, until he was finally stood in front of him. the only thing to be seen were nick’s tearstained cheeks, blue eyes glassy, making it evident that he had been weeping. he held out his hands, presenting the splintered and destroyed drumsticks. perhaps, the world’s idea of cruel mocking, the way their friendship had been in pieces just the same. “percy.” he started, his voice a faint and broken whisper. “my lucky sticks. they’re broken.”

     nick had walked towards her with a certain heaviness in his step, demonstrating the hurricane that was about to occur. in one hand, he firmly gripped alex’s precious guitar by the neck. only with bad intentions in mind. banter and cruel words were not a foreign element in their relationship. alex and nick had fought since day one. however, it had been with the underlying knowledge that there was mutual fondness and adoration. so although, on the surface not much appeared to have changed, the situation was all the more tense. “someone touched my drum kit. was it you ? ” a rhetorical question, not to be answered. he knew it was her. alex had threatened it on multiple occasions, finally having followed through. but this was to be considered a war crime, the ultimate betrayal. nick was fuming, so much so he was shaking with emotions. “you touched my drums ! I’m going to fucking smash your guitar.”