nichole _capicola

It’s been over a year since I saw you in person. You still mean so much to me. I’m so glad that you came back. You might literally be my favorite person. I love you. With my entire heart. I want you to be happy. I want to not be a selfish person. I want my chest to not hurt. I want you in my life. As a constant. But that seems selfish. And I’m not sure if that’s just my brain telling me that it’s a bad thing because I’m just depressed all the time and when you’re here I get a little bit happier. But you’re leaving again. And even though I know it’s not at all your intention to come here a fuck up my head (especially since you have no idea what’s going on in my head unless I tell you) it sucks that you’re leaving. I want to work on myself as a person. I want to become a whole person. I feel like an empty shell. Like a husk. I want to feel good when I wake up in the morning. I want to feel like I’m not just going through the motions because I don’t want to disappoint family and friends. You might be the one. But I’ll never know until I find out how to get myself right. I’m making a decision. I need to fix me. I need to be working properly. I need to become me again.

I call this set… “Noir Princesses”.

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so here’s one from someone who Actually Gets It

-can’t shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.

-can’t wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.

-can’t even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can’t, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.

-can’t make anything to eat? same. if you can, there’s no shame in ordering food. in fact, it’s probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you can’t, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.

can’t respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you’ve given yourself time to prepare. if they’re Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, don’t feel bad for sending a mass “I’m sorry, I’m in a personal emergency right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” response to everyone.

-can’t even sleep because it’s so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.

-can’t go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. you’re still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)

-can’t go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it’s an emergency and you can’t make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.

-can’t brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don’t let yourself physically rot bc you’re rotting emotionally.

We all know the meme

Well, I went digging further and found the backstory.

–

It all starts in highschool (or early college)

(for time sake we’ll call blue shirt, girl 1 and the other girl, girl 2.)

Girl one begins to grow feelings for girl two.

She get jealous of the man and decides to become best friends with girl 2

soon girl two grows feeling for girl one

Soon, the time of the meme takes place

She finds out that he cheated on her by finding messages on his phone

She divorces him after that fight

Back to girl one, She find out and comferts her

They decide to hook up and the relationship goes great

The guy finds a boyfriend

and they all work everything out!

server: oh yeah sorry about that like it’s management i can’t do anything about-

me:

You do not have to be affectionate all the time to care for someone, in fact, caring can also mean a couple of texts or silence for a few days while you both live your lives happily and separately.

People do not care for you less when they’re busy with their own lives. It’s your reaction to them being their own person - and your ability to make yourself happy - that determines how they feel about you.

Not everyone reciprocates to your actions the same way. If you want someone to acknowledge, be interested in, or treat you a certain way for your efforts, all you have to do is let them know. They will try their personal best to accommodate that within their personal spectrum of feelings.