NichBetweenColors

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

I don’t hate people. I just don’t like being around them for too long.

Socializing feels like a performance—one I never signed up for. The small talk, the forced smiles, the constant pressure to be on. It drains me in ways I can’t even explain.

I like my own company. The quiet, the stillness, the freedom to just exist without expectation. I don’t crave constant interaction, and honestly, I don’t see why that’s such a bad thing.

But sometimes, I wonder—do people see me as cold? Distant?

Do they mistake my silence for indifference?

Because the truth is, I do care. I just show it differently.

I’d rather sit in comfortable silence than force a conversation. I’d rather have one deep connection than a hundred surface-level friendships. And I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people who don’t really see me.

Maybe that makes me asocial.