I’m on the dark side of your room 📍

being mutuals isn’t enough we need to eat breakfast in the garden together

in cow world, green onions are cigarettes

the thing is if we just give it a couple thousand years humans will evolutionarily adapt to drunk driving

It strikes me as profoundly odd when people openly admit that they only believe/don't believe in something because of some psychological need or weakness. You're supposed to bravely accept the truth!!

do the kids today even know about azlyrics? the calming lavender?

internet moment that really encapsulates current discourse is when Hank green made a video explaining that “functionally illiterate” means people who can read a bit but can’t ex fill out forms at the doctors or read a food label aka function, not people who make disingenuous readings of posts you made, and people got so mad he had to delete the video

it would be so nice if you were allowed to start working on projects before you hit the 12 hour until deadline mark but sadly it’s not possible with our current technology. scientists are hard at work but for now this is one of the limitations we must face as a people

guys, if i do kill myself and never published any books or anything please copy all my best tumblr posts and arrange them into a deeply moving stream of consciousness narrative and submit it to the new yorker on my behalf. i feel like i can count on you. don't let my life and posting have been in vain