Lots o Thoughts

Usually wounds can turn into cool scars

Today is one of those days

That is going to feel wasted

And I won't know why

I won't know

Where this dark cloud came from

I won't know

What this thorn in my heart is

I won't know

Why the fuck I can't seem to smile

This foreign shade comes in

And actually makes it hard to see

My chest thumps heavily

Snuffing out my breath

They say "just grin and bare it"

But I think I'll just bare it

I know I'll be fine tomorrow

Today clouds and thorns

Have me looking for shelter

But tomorrow there will be sun

I'll be fine tomorrow

You know who I'm with

By the smile that's on my face

To be figuring out how

I'll cleverly tell her

That I love her

And my biggest joy

To see her eyes light up

When I do

And succeed

How and when

Will I make her smile

To try to reflect

Tap tap and a roll

A smooth glass marble

Finds itself traveling

Unaware of its destination

Like a polished gem

Clear as the night air

Never has one been

So innocent and pure

Through a pillar of steam

Into a lake of boiling water

It plummets into chaos

It’s first ordeal

Bubbling and bouncing

Jostling and jumping

Constantly being accosted

By this new environment

Never finding rest

The marble energized

Itself just to keep up

In this scalding world

Lifted

Strained

Moved

What

Chatter and crack

Chilled to the bone

Suddenly the outside

Cold and stagnant

Need to bounce

Jump and jostle

No where to go

Trapped in itself

This marble cracks

It’s insides shatter

Encased by a layer

Of pure smooth glass

Knowing only two worlds

Took something innocent

And gave it shiney scars

Beneath that gloss facade

Those who look closely​

May be entranced

Those who look deeply

Find a shattered confusion

Those who know truth

See a soul forged

By tumult and suffocation

Good beans

Not cool beans, but good ones

This isn't some Andy Sandburg reference

This was a conversation

It was a happy one

A gross one

A conversation that sparked

It can make inconvenience

Sometimes when Freud

Gets it wrong

Everything turns out

That much better

In the quiet moments

Of the evening

A musical metaphor

Finds itself... Hungry

88 tiny hammers

Should have beat and played

A tune of cleverness

And flirtatiousness

88 tummy hammers

However stole the show

No grand resonance

Instead belly pats

Elegant arpeggio

Replaced by raspberries

I think I'm happy with that

Though you've no arms

I'm sure they'd be open

To welcome me home

Embrace me for the night

Cover me from the cold

I get to rest in you

Rarely do I make my stay

Always coming in late

Always leaving early

I treat you wrongly

I never make you up

Sad poems always

Get the most up votes on here

It's like a weight on your heart

Almost heavy, but not a burden

Like a dense blanket

One for the winter

Instead of slowing you down

It grounds you

You don't get lost

Simply reminded

Tapping into a side

Of your heart

That you'd not known

For decades is terrifying

But

I think

I'm gonna post this to my poetry page instead of my personal because it actually has to do with my poetry

Every once in a while, I go back though my work. I gotta say. Some of it is cringy as fuck. Some of it is surprisingly good. I don't even remember all of it lol. I think I noticed something important about it today though. There has been a pretty clear transition over the last three years. At first, it focused on my past: my break up, sadness and general frustrations. Then it transitioned into something more forward looking. I'd write about the woman I wanted, or general relationship goals and sprinkled some sex in there. Most recently the focus has turned inward. I've explored myself as a human and what makes me tick. Being introspective has really started to do a lot of positive things for me. And let me tell you. I was never REALLY in a bad place. I've always been fairly happy, but recently it's been different. I have a better understanding of myself and my needs. It's difficult to find inspiration for poetry when you're happy, but it makes for a good fucking life.