hewwo

maybe if men touched each other gently more often like women do, they wouldn’t be so grouchy all the time

Fuck gentle touch, I wanna get my faggot cunt mauled by a dominant alpha Serbian top!!!

whoa

I will slip through the space between your cells and enter your body and I won't be identified as a threat because I'm making out with your white blood cells (I call them babygirl) then when you least expect it I crawl into your brain and then I freak it

I made this post about myself but I accidentally perfectly described how the rabies virus works

so turns out mindlessly scrolling on my phone for 4 hours didn't actually make me feel better

Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

Me when I get nudes

Sorry I started acting like a skittish horse as soon as I realized you were flirting with me it will happen again

wait. you guys are realizing that people are flirting with you?

I could slide my dick along your lips like I was applying chapstick and you’d think it was show of good sportsmanship

IS THAT NOT WHAT THAT IS?

Do you guys need me to point you in the direction of the direct message feature

I need you to direct me to the nearest man to feel up