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DEAR READER
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@newdaynew-me
I want this, this evening.
My soul is free again. I want to dance in the moonlight with wonderful people who I can be entirely myself with.
I want to wrap my arms round the neck of someone I trust completely and kiss, deeply, and laugh and drink and kiss again.
My hippie heart is restored and I feel full of joy.
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I miss Ibiza.
Everything is different and everything is new. That's exciting. Remembering who I used to be. Eat clean. Live clean. Be fabulous. Reject negative energy. Take back control.
I once thought I might be incapable of truly loving anyone. Now I am consumed with love. Every breath is filled with love. Every moment is overflowing with love. A tiny bundle of wonderful, beautiful, eternal love. Being a Mum is the best thing in the world.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Last goodbye.
Death will take us, regardless.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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A glimpse of you. One glimpse, of the man I used to know. Gone, in the same moment. Gone.
We should learn to choose our words carefully, as we can hurt, and mislead others. Words...can't be taken back, once you give them away. Harsh words are like bullets: no matter what, they can still leave a painful injury. And sometimes, a sorry is not enough to heal the wounds you leave.
I read back, through these words and the pitiful pleading and I feel sorry, so very sorry for the girl who was taken in. My heart bleeds for that person. Who believed in a love that never existed and in lies that flowed from you like molten lava, burning, scorching everything in its path. I look forward, now, to seeing the girl who used to shine blossom again, like honeysuckle, spreading happiness rather than slowly dying. She's resurfacing, a little each day, refreshed and renewed without the black cloud that is your misery, or the drip, drip, dripping away of confidence and energy that comes from being with you. I look forward to laughing with the girl who embraced life before you tried to drain her of it with your dishonesty and control. That girl and I will dance, happily, to the tune of the whole world laughing. And we will blow you a kiss as truth emerges and we glide, glide off into the sunset with a lover who truly knows how to love without selfish gain, while you fade meaninglessly into insignificance. Yet still... I hope life treats you kindly. Not because you deserve it but because I cannot become you. I cannot live with layers of nastiness and anger that tear at my soul and leave me miserable, plotting revenge and acting in haste without any understanding of the consequences actions cause. So I hope life treats you kindly. Far, far away from here.
It terrifies you, doesn’t it? It scares the living shit out of you to love someone like her. Someone who is so much of a storm. Some days she’s stronger than you. Most days her voice is louder. She’ll say “no” once and mean it. If you don’t listen she’ll kick you out of her bed and out of her life. Maybe she’ll soften for you, between the quiet hours where the sun is just barely touching the earth, she’ll be all quiet breathing skin and open mouthed caresses. Maybe once in a while she’ll gentle herself into elastic and you’ll press open mouthed kisses to her skin without worrying about the burn. Stop living for those moments where she’s quieter. They’ll be rare. The thing is, most of the time, she’ll be on fire. You’ll have to carry the ashes of your arguments back with you, you’ll have to expect that she’ll fight you and love you at the same time. It’ll feel like loving a hurricane. So maybe, maybe you’re thinking that it’ll be easier if you just left. Maybe you’ll find a better one. Know this: if she asks you to stay, she will do it once. If you slam the door shut behind you she will shrug her shoulders, wrap herself in her own fight and wait for someone strong enough to love her. If you come back, months later, empty handed, she’ll kiss your forehead and shake her head and say ‘not today.’
Azra.T “Of course I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in - CNA” (via 5000letters)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I’m not sure you understand how far you’ve fallen in my estimations. A fall that far has got to hurt.
If you read back? If you took it in? You'd see how much you lost. A world full of love from me. And a world with him you'll never experience... Just snapshots. Tiny moments of a beautiful dream.
Anything there ever was has turned to dust. It’s over.
Everything has disappeared.
