When that happens, you either turn away fast enough that you don’t get to see his smile drop or see him wear whatever expression you think he’ll have, or you can’t tear your eyes away quickly enough to miss the half hearted wave he gives you. 

It’s better when he doesn’t see you, you think. That wave is more crushing than anything he’d say. 

Naturally, you’ve blocked him. 

You always block guys you’re done with. It gives you peace of mind. Except this guy doesn’t; you wonder all the time if he’s tried contacting you, and what he’s said. Maybe he changed his mind and begged for you to give him another chance, maybe he declared his undying love for you, maybe he’ll vow to dedicate himself to you for the rest of time. 

None of those are likely though, because he would have chased after you the first couple times he spotted you on campus. But he hasn’t. Not even once. And you walk away slowly on purpose to give him the opportunity.

He’s never taken it.

“So, it’s over?” Brittany asks, plucking her eyebrows in her vanity, and occasionally looking at you through the mirror. “You ended it with him?”

You’re in her apartment, spread eagle on her bed and staring up at the ceiling wondering why she doesn’t have glow-in-the-dark stickers of stars. Her place smells like vanilla candles and expensive setting spray. Usually you’d fawn over the delicate scent, now you’re left feeling more suffocated.

It’s tradition for you to go crying to her after every heartbreak, but you’re not crying right now. You’re just taking shallow breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Careful not to inhale too deeply in case something inside you splinters.

“Sure,” you say. 

She sighs and puts her plucker down. “Babes, you don’t have to pretend you’re okay — I’m not going to gossip to those bitches, or any bitches, you know that.”

Through your lashes, you stare at her. Brittany’s been your friend since you were children. Two girls meant for more than the provincial life you were born in, destined to wear hot pink mini skirts and tight dresses in a conservative town. You’ve followed each other your entire lives — sleepovers, first kisses, college applications half-finished at her kitchen table — and you know her loyalty is to you before any man. You can tell her anything.

Despite that, you still say, “I am okay. He’s just some nerd, I’m gonna be fine, trust me.”

Her pursed lips suggest she won’t be trusting you. 

Which is fine. 

You’re not exactly trying very hard to convince her — you’re wearing a hoodie and sweatpants for Prada sake. Sure, it’s a sexy pink hoodie and Juicy Couture sweatpants, but the outfit tells the whole story. This is your version of waving a white flag. Hair unstyled. Makeup smudged into yesterday. No armor. She knows you’re devastated, and highkey suicidal, and you can’t bring yourself to pretend otherwise. 

You just can’t say it. You can’t say the words, say that for the first time in your life you’re actually experiencing real heartbreak, and it’s robbing you of the ability to breathe. 

It hurts.

It hurts a lot. 

All the other times don’t even compare. The other times had you moping for a bit, stalking socials until your eyes burned, comparing yourself to whoever the bastard cheated on you with, buying curses from Etsy witches at 2 a.m., and eventually getting over them by getting under someone else. You’d call it empowerment. Reinvention. A glow-up.

This time, however, you don’t do any of those things. You don’t even think about getting revenge. You don’t want to hurt him. It’s not like he said anything wrong to begin with. He was probably right actually; you’re not in love with him. He was just nice and you liked it. 

This time you’re just tired. 

Bone-deep tired. The kind sleep doesn’t fix. And you so desperately want to sleep the day away, you want to let the paint on your toes crack and peel off, for your acrylics to grow out, lashes to fall off, and for your body to wither away. 

“Is there a cute bridge nearby I can jump off?”

Brittany fixes you a blank look. “Not funny.” Then she groans, coming to stand over you and smacks you with a pillow. “Get up. I’m tired of your bad vibes ruining my Me Time. Why don’t you do some retail therapy? That always made you feel better, didn’t it?”

Releasing a heavy breath, you tell her, “I already did. I have boxes upon boxes in my room still unopened. I tried to find happiness at the bottom of a shopping cart, and I’ve dug myself into further debt. It didn’t even make me feel better.”

None of the cute thongs or super high high heels you’ve gotten numbed the pain for even a second. You did look really cute in everything you bought though. 

A ping goes off on her phone. She checks it. 

Then she slams her hands on the bed, making you bounce. Brittany squeals. You wince.

“Okay, you better wax that hairy, depressed vaj of yours because we’ve got a frat party to sleep our way through tonight.”

“No,” you groan, already feeling the hangover clouding your mind. “I’m not in a partying mood.”

“That’s too damn bad because you’re coming with me and that’s that.”

Surprisingly strong hands roll you off the bed and drag you into the bathroom, and you know you’re going to walk out of here sore and bruised and in tears. 

Terrific.

.

.

.

It’s been a while since you’ve been at a party, and you have missed it — the fun songs that get your hips swaying without permission, the sting of alcohol that burns a clean line down your throat and washes any doubts and stress away, and not to mention the hypnotic gyration of bodies that mutes insecurities and self-consciousness for a moment. 

The air is thick with sweat, cheap cologne, something sickly sweet, and it feels like slipping back into a skin you used to live in. This is a damn good party, courtesy of Alpha Alpha Alpha and its president, Sukuna Ryomen — the kind of party people talk about all semester, the kind that makes freshmen reckless and seniors nostalgic for the rest of their lives.

Since you left him on read, he hasn’t texted you; he’s not the type to chase. The fact that he reached out at all to begin with would have won you over if you weren’t so in love with—

“Where have you been, doll?”

You grimace at the term of endearment.

You know, without looking back, that the captain of the hockey team has crept up behind you, whispering loudly in your ear so you can hear him over the blaring bass of the music. His firm hands grip your hips, hauling your ass to his front where he grinds his semi unashamedly.

“Around,” you reply, sipping on your cranberry vodka whilst you feel the music course through your veins, a synthetic courage buzzing under your skin.

Scarred lips graze the shell of your ear. “Yeah? Well, I missed ya. Missed this sexy ass and tight pussy. Wanna let me have my fill upstairs, like old times?”

Elbowing him off with a scowl, you say, “No, Fushiguro. Not after you slept with Jeanette before making me suck your dick the same night — that was freaking disgusting, by the way.”

“It was hot for me.”

His annoying laugh catches the attention of people around. Guys give him a nod of recognition and girls bite their lips, and both look him up and down with desire and envy. When they see the hand he has making its way to grope your tit through your thin shirt, the ones who want him and only him snarl before turning away, and the ones that want you too grin knowingly.

This was your life before…him.

Hated for being pretty and popular, and lusted for exactly the same reasons. A month or two ago, you would’ve been high from the attention, dizzy on it, collecting glances everywhere you go. Now you’re just exhausted. 

Despite that, you feel some dull thrill growing from where he touches you — a familiar, shallow spark that promises distraction if nothing else.

Lips murmur kisses up and down your neck, hands squeeze your hip and breast, his body presses insistently against yours. Toji has always been a fun time; he knows exactly what he’s doing and has never left you unsatisfied. He’s easy. Predictable. Safe in the way a bad habit is safe.

But you shouldn’t.

You didn’t even want to be at this party, didn’t want to be freshly waxed all over, all shiny and glittery, didn’t want to be dancing or drinking, or groped by some horny asshole who has no sense of loyalty, and you suspect actually likes causing girl drama.

All you wanted was hi— to be alone.

As you’re about to shove him off for good, you catch a flash of white in the corner of your eyes. Your head snaps in the direction, heart lurching stupidly in your chest. Shoulders slump in disappointment soon after.

It’s just someone taking their shirt off.

Of course he’s not here. This isn’t his scene. Plus, it’s Friday night — he’ll be at the games café with his friends, probably laughing about you and your pathetic confession, or building Lego sets and inside jokes, or making new memories in the toilet stall with his working dick. 

And even if he was here, what were you going to do? Beg? Apologise? Roll over and flash him your pussy like it was going to convince him you’re good enough to be loved? 

“Come on, ma,” Toji mutters. “Lemme make you feel good. I’ll make you forget all about that guy you’ve been with.”

“What guy?” you weakly ask, suddenly feeling lightheaded, like the room has tilted on its axis.

Toji spins you around, gripping the back of your neck to keep you in place as he grins down at you. “The nerd, doll. The rich one. Nora was telling me all about how smitten you were.”

“You mean when she was bouncing on your dick?” you scoff. Who told him he could call Eleanor by a nickname?

He smacks a wet kiss on your glossy lips, leaving behind the wheaty taste of beer. “Nah, ain’t nobody having full conversations when they’re on my dick — she was on my face, which you could be in ten seconds if you follow me upstairs.”

A harsh smack warms your ass cheek. 

“Don’t make me wait long.”

With that, he leaves you.

Coldness wafts over your body that not even the warm bodies around you can fill.

Then, you’re having a moment of clarity — you’re standing in the middle of the room with a drink you didn’t ask for, bass rattling your bones, sweat and cheap perfume clinging to the air in a sickly way. Strobe lights slice everyone into fragments. Laughter sounds warped, metallic.

This was your scene, your thing, your routine. Not Lego’s and fantasy movies, gameboards, Mariokart, and good fucking sex that ends in cuddles and kisses. Not slow mornings and shared blankets and someone looking at you like you were more than a spectacle.

Yet, tonight it all feels wrong, like you’re wearing someone else’s skin. Brittany’s off blowing someone’s brains out, you’re sure, and you know she won’t mind if you leave as long as you let her know, and so you keep thinking you’ll leave after one song, after one sip, after one more person tells you how good you look.

You don’t.

Because the moment the beat drops, the ache in your chest dulls just a little. The thoughts that circle his name — his voice, his hands, the way he used to look at you when you laughed like you weren’t performing — get shoved to the back of your skull by flashing lights and bodies pressed too close.

It’s addictive, this numbness. The way strangers’ smiles demand nothing of you. The way dancing lets you pretend you’re still the girl who came here for fun instead of survival. You hate that it works. You hate that you’re already planning the next party, even as you swear this one will be your last.

Because you can pretend as much as you like that you’re no longer the same girl, that you’ve learnt, grown, evolved, but deep down, you know, as much as everyone else does, you will never be more than a cheap thrill.

So, you push your way through the crowd, dumping your drink in some plant that’s probably fake, heading for the wide open door which leads into the night and back home, where it’s safe, where it’s quiet, where he won’t be, and turn right to the stairs.

“Took you long enough,” someone says, smirking and palming his hard-on through his jeans. 

Toji’s waiting by the door, wrapping a heavy arm around your shoulders and mouthing at your neck as someone else eyes you up and down.

“Ryomen,” you say. “Did you have to set a trap for me?”

He pushes off the bed, strolling over to you. Tattooed hands grope your ass, pulling you flush to his front. The frat president of Alpha3 licks the seam of your lips, tickling the surface with his tongue piercing. He rasps, “You’re a flighty thing, sue me.”

The other guy slides his hand up your skirt, squeezing your ass and letting a finger push in under your thong, where you’re still not very wet at all. He curses and spits on his fingers, then rubs it on your pussy. Toji huffs and notes, “She’s been distracted by that Gojo kid, too busy to suck our dicks.”

Sukuna tuts. “Bad girl. You know this pussy likes to be passed around.”

“Quit it with the talking,” you drawl, grabbing both of their dicks to hear them groan and shut the fuck up. “Put your honey where your mouth is.”

They laugh. 

“God, you’re fucking stupid. It’s almost a turn off.”

“What do I always say? Let your cunt do all the talking, doll, remember? It’s smarter than you, that’s for sure.”

You roll your eyes. “Is someone gonna eat my pussy or what?”

Toji grunts. “We’re gonna get to that, don’t you worry.”

Falling back on the bed, one holds you by your waist as you come to straddle his lap like you’ve done many times before, and the other settles behind, pinning you between them.

Clothes fall to the floor, and the party downstairs becomes a mere hum through the moans and groans of three bodies joining.

And for the night, you do forget all about him.

.

.

.

“Do you believe in love?”

The blond man slides his gaze back to you as though he’d forgotten you’re lying naked on his bed, messy hair creating a halo around your head on his pillow. He’s tucking himself back in his slacks, zipping it, before buckling the belt he hadn’t even fully removed before he thrusted inside you.

He’s a professor of History. A father. Widowed. 

You’ve had a sexual relationship with him since first year, when he met you at a bar and you made up some story about being a working woman at some law firm. He’d taken you back to his place, fucked you in a way not many of the boys from your hometown had ever, and was surprised, to say the least, when he saw you at orientation. 

Professor Nanami was kinda disgusted with you, and with himself. He refused to see you for weeks, shrugging you off when you’d cozy up to him in the hallways. But he couldn’t resist you for very long. 

Of course not. 

How could he when you wore the tightest, shortest skirts around him? When you had foregone bras under your basically see-through tops, batting your lashes and bending over his desk ‘to pick something up on the other side?’

Maybe it was because his wife had just died, or was dying —you didn’t think to ask for the details — or maybe he just really liked you, but you’ve had a consistent relationship ever since he caved and ate you out on his desk. Every Monday evening, his least favourite day of the week, you’d pop by his place and get your back blown out.

Always the same position — prone bone. Your face buried in the pillows, ass hiked up, head occasionally banging against the headboard. 

First he eats you out, you blow him, and then he’s inside you. 

Like clockwork.

No kissing, not much talking, no staying over. 

There used to be a time when you’d push it. When you’d pretend he’d fucked you to exhaustion and you couldn’t lift a single muscle, hoping he’d let you stay just this once, but he was insistent; he’d rustle you awake, a stern look on his face, and with painkillers and a glass of water by the bedside table.

He wouldn’t even let you leave a toothbrush at his place. 

It was easy to start things back up with him. You showed up at his office, knocking and with a sultry grin. He pushed his chair back, beckoned you over with two fingers, and you thought he might say something like he missed you or ask where you’ve been. He didn’t. He just guided you down to kneel between his legs.

The rest was history, as they say, which is funny because he’s a History professor!

Nanami runs a hand through his hair.

“Yes.”

You roll onto your side, propping your head up on your palm, watching him button his shirt with the kind of care one would reserve for defusing bombs: each button fastened with intention, each cuff aligned, crisp, controlled, contained. It’s almost military. Or maybe militant. What would S—

Nope. Don’t go there.

Happy to get an answer from him, you enquire, “Did you love your wife?”

He stills at that, but recovers quickly. Clasping his watch on his wrist, he wonders, “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, you know,” you reply as casually as you can, prodding the wet spots left on the bedsheets, “just curious. You never really talk about her.”

“Because the dead should be left where they are.”

There’s no bite in it. Just fact.

You sit up, the sheet slipping to your waist. He doesn’t look. Not out of disgust. Not out of desire. Simply discipline. As if you’re another detail in the room to catalogue and move past. Whereas other guys would have greedily drank up your figure to get fired up for another round. You don’t mind it.

Getting to your feet, you tug on your underwear. You remark, “You’re a History prof — isn’t it your whole thing to not let the dead rest?”

That gets a slight quirk of his lips. “I’m a contrarian.”

“Figures.” You huff. Then, you insist. “So? Did ya?”

Nanami meets your eyes through the reflection of the mirror. He doesn’t smile when he answers, “With all my heart.”

That doesn’t make you jealous, doesn’t make you sad or angry. It’s just what it is. But it does make you think. Voice quieter, you ask, “How do you know if you love someone? Like, really love them, and not like just be horny for them?”

“Did you meet someone?”

At surface level, it’s conversational. Polite. However, you know from years of office sex and Monday fuckings that Nanami’s not the kind of person to pry; he’s being cautious, worried that you mean him. It almost makes you laugh. 

“No, I was just wondering,” you say, trying to comb through your hair. 

He hums, handing you your phone.

So predictable. 

Men are always so frightened by the prospect of you falling in love with them, as if you’re so fucking terriblem, as if it means you’ll be baby trapping them. And yeah, maybe you are terrible. You’re shallow, dumb, and mean. Maybe he saw that and that’s why he didn’t want you for more than a wet pussy. 

But you can’t change who you are at the very rotten core…

Can you?

Soon, you’re being taken to the door, and just as you’re about to leave you look back at him, watching him already closing the door.

“You never answered my question.”

Nanami doesn’t need to ask for clarification to know what question you’re talking about. He pauses for a second, and it’s a rare moment of hesitation you don’t see him take very often at all. The man’s knowledgeable, wise, older. Whatever’s crossing his mind you probably couldn’t ever hope to understand. Perhaps he won’t answer. Perhaps he’ll even scold you for prying. 

But he doesn’t.

Staring down at you, he says, “When every minute of every day without them is like dying a thousand deaths without any of the relief, and you can only hope to forget them for a second.”

And the door’s shut in your face.

.

.

.

“Thank you for meeting me again!”

Yuji sits across from you at a cafe on the top floor of the student union building. He’d asked to meet, to treat you to coffee and cake after helping him get a date with a girl.

You wanted to say no. The idea of hanging out with his friend was weird. And you’d been wondering how much he had told them about everything, if he’d told them you were some psycho, and that he never wants to see you again. You thought that Yuji might cuss you out, might call you a dirty whore or something. But he insisted. Pleaded. And you’re not against free things. 

“It’s whatever. I’m just glad she said yes after all the work we put in.”

“No, seriously,” he says, pushing the slice of strawberry shortcake toward you like an offering. “You saved my life.”

“That’s dramatic.” You take a bite, thinking about how a certain someone loves sweet things more than you do and he’d devour this in seconds. 

“It’s not! Do you know how many times I almost texted her ‘hey’ with four y’s?” He shudders. “You stopped me from ruining everything.”

You snort despite yourself. “You’re welcome for protecting you from yourself.”

He grins, then softens a little. “She said I seemed…thoughtful. That I actually listened to her.”

“Well,” you shrug, stirring your iced latte a little too hard, “you did. Eventually.”

He laughs. “After you made me rewrite that message six times.”

“Seven, actually.”

“Seven,” he concedes easily. Yuji pipes up, eyes sparkling with excitement. “I’m taking her to an arcade this weekend, then we’ll get some boba, walk around for a bit.”

No one’s ever taken you to an arcade or gotten you boba. Is this how nerds date? Is that what he’s doing with some girl right now? Did he ever think about taking you on a date like that? What kind of boba does he like? Probably something insanely sweet and elaborate, he’d convince you to try it despite your complaining, and it’d turn out to be your most favourite thing in the world.

The third floor is busy — cutlery clinking, espresso machines hissing, students drifting past with backpacks and too-loud laughter. You keep your eyes on the condensation sliding down your cup.  

A barista calls out a complicated order. A group of girls squeal over something on a phone screen. A tall figure in white passes near the railing and your spine stiffens before you can stop it.

Not him.

Different build. Different posture.

You take a sip of your drink even though it’s gone watery.

Yuji softly says, “He does that too.”

Your eyes dart to him. He hadn’t said his name, and yet your heart’s pounding as if he had. So fucking pathetic. Shuffling in your seat, you say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“He’s always looking around every room, looking at whoever walks in through the door, eyeing the crowds. He even smiles when he thinks he sees you, then frowns when it’s someone else,” Yuji elaborates. There’s a bittersweet expression on his face, and you wonder if he wears one too. You pretend your heart doesn’t skip a beat at the thought that he might be searching for you in every face that passes by. “I think he really misses you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” you reply immediately, before your brain could even process the words. Then you sit up, meeting his eyes for the first time since sitting across from the pink-haired guy, who looks so much like some other guy you know. “Yuji, we were never in a real relationship, did he tell you that?”

That furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

So he didn’t.

“It was a deal we made. I won’t go into the specifics,” you say, waving a hand. “But we weren’t actually dating. It was just pretend.”

Yuji shakes his head, leaning forward. “But he was always talking about you, about the things you like, the things you don’t. He’d see clothes in stores and say, oh she’d hate that, or that would suit her. He’d text you all the time and well, I’ve never seen him smile at his phone like that before. Even movies we’d rewatch, he’d talk on and on about what you thought about it or how he thinks you’d hate it, and so he can’t wait to watch it with you. None of that seemed like pretend to me.”

Every word builds the pit in your stomach, growing it bigger and bigger until you feel so heavy you think you could create your own gravitational pull, like someone had once explained the Sun does. 

Voice trembling more than you want it to, you deny all of that. “It was pretend. He’s just really good at playing his part. But it’s not like we didn’t get along. He just didn’t lo—” Love me, you wanted to say. Instead, you gulp, and continue, “He just didn’t like me like that.”

The guy shakes his head again. He looks so deeply troubled by the news, and wholly unconvinced. 

“I think you’re wrong,” he says, then quickly adds, “respectfully. He’s quieter these days, always wanting to go out, stay at our place, and go to every event possible. He’s always super tired now. I thought it was because you two had an argument; I didn’t know it was because you broke up.”

“We didn’t break up,” you tell him, firmer than you intended it to come out. “We just ended our deal. It’s different.”

“Not to him,” Yuji argues. “He’s clearly miserable. I’ve never seen him so down.”

You sip your drink, gaze flitting away so you won’t see the flashes of memories of a man you can’t see right now in his eyes. Numbly, you say, “He’s just missing the routine we had. He’ll get over it.”

 “Can’t you two just make up?”

“No, Yuji. It’s not that simple.”

“It can be.”

Tired of where the conversation headed, you stand up, fixing your skirt. “Thanks for the coffee, and you’re welcome for helping you bag your girl. Good luck, and whatever.”

Then you leave before he can say anything else about him.

Inside the elevator, you slump against the mirror. Your face is reflected back all around you. It’s unnerving to see the dark circles under your eyes and the slight shake in your eyeliner. You snatch your gaze away. Can everyone tell you’re grieving something that was never alive? 

A ping warns that the elevator is stopping. Someone gets in, but you’re only looking at the buttons. 

“Diapers?”

You freeze. 

Beat up converse, blue jeans, white shirt under a blue sweater, full lips, glasses, and white hair. 

Your heart drops to the ground floor. 

He’s really here. 

And it’s just the two of you. 

The air feels thinner somehow. The elevator suddenly feels too small. The mirrored walls reflect you from every angle — your stiff posture, his towering frame, the space between you that somehow feels charged.

The doors slide shut with a soft, definitive ding.

You’re trapped.

“What are you doing here?” Satoru asks, smiling widely. He takes a step towards you reflexively, arms rising. You step back. His smile falters, but doesn’t disappear altogether. 

Steeling your spine, you reply coldly, “Meeting a friend.”

“Oh.” He leans back against the mirror too, arms crossed. “I was studying. Got a big exam to prepare for. It’s gonna be killer.”

“Cool.”

Your voice comes out flat, but your pulse is screaming. The hum of the lights grows louder. The faint scent of his cologne — clean, annoyingly familiar — threads into your lungs and drags memories behind it.

There’s a tremble in your voice you hadn’t shaken off. Can he hear it? Can he tell you’ve been miserable? Is he rejoicing in it? Does he feel victorious? Validated?

Does he look at you and think, See? You were just confused.

Satoru wonders, “How have you been then? What have you been up to?”

Who the hell does he think he is? How can he possibly talk to you so casually, like you’re long time friends passing each other by? 

Inhaling deeply, you let out a tense breath. “Look, we don’t have to do this. We don’t have to be all good with each other. We were strangers to each other before and we’re strangers to each other now. No more and less.”

“No more or less,” he corrects automatically.

“Fuck off.”

You can hear the sheepish smile in his voice when he mutters, “Sorry.”

The elevator shudders lightly as it passes another floor. Then his expression shifts. The brightness dims.

“I was genuinely asking,” he says, softer now. “I really am wondering how you’ve been…” Then, even softer, he adds, “I missed you.”

No no no no no.

He can’t talk to you like that, he can’t say shit like that, he can’t weaken your resolve, he can’t pretend he fucking cares. He doesn’t get to miss you after telling you you mistook gratitude for love. After implying you only wanted him because he was the first man who treated you like you mattered.

Hands shaking, you clench them into fists so he won’t see. “Don’t.”

“I do,” he whispers, insistent. “I haven’t been sleeping much since ‘cause I keep thinking about all the things I said.” 

You don’t want to hear this. 

You can’t. 

You’re supposed to be moving on, accepting that what you had wasn’t real, that it was all just some game. He wasn’t supposed to be here; it’s too soon. You wanted to face him properly, completely unaffected so that he’d never know just how hurt you were.

Satoru steps closer. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I was flustered, y’know, like you caught me off guard, and—”

“Stop it, Satoru,” you hiss, whipping around. 

Your breath gets caught in your throat.

Fuck he really does look terrible, or as terrible as he can possible look — he has dark circles under his eyes too, his hair looks like he’s been running his hands through them, pulling hard, and he looks even paler than usual. His sweater is fluffier than usual, Converse more scuffed, and there’s a quake in his hands as they twitch.

When your eyes meet, through his glasses his gaze softens. “Oh, baby.”

He’s so close all it takes is one step to cross the distance, to hug him tightly, to yank him down for a kiss and wash everything away. Satoru smells the same as you remember, all clean and fresh, and it’s comforting, reassuring. 

The door opens.

“There you are,” a voice says. “Did you bring my clothes back from your place?”

Satoru breaks eye contact first, looking at the newcomer. He releases a breath, combing his hair back. “Hey, Sho. Yeah, I’ve got them.”

It’s her again. 

She’s sucking on a lollipop, raising a brow at you. A smile plays on her lips. It’s mocking, like she knows something you don’t.

It’s so easy for them to talk like that, isn’t it? So casual, so natural, like they’ve been dating for years. Did you ever sound like that with him to others? Did people feel jealousy ripping them apart from the inside, threatening to bring them to their knees? 

“Good for you, Gojo,” you snark. The words taste acidic. Petty. Beneath even you. But you can’t stop them. “You’re finally using your fixed dick to its fullest.”

“What? No, wait, baby—”

You leave, heels clacking on the polished floor. 

Someone calls your name, panicked, but you don’t turn around. Not even when the elevator doors slide shut behind you. Not even when the first tear slips down your cheek. Not even when the sob you’ve been choking back finally breaks free in the empty corridor.

That’s really fucking good for him.

Just perfect.

Peachy.

.

.

.

He’s been trying to contact you. 

A TheSmartest_1 had followed you on Insta. It had no profile picture, no other friends, no posts, but you knew who it was immediately. He sent a message. It plainly read: I didn’t sleep with her, her washing machine broke. Pls unblock me.

It no longer matters to you if he did or didn’t; you’ve cried over it enough. Plus, it’s not like you’re some blushing virgin. But still, the thought of it didn’t settle right, and even if he denies it, the damage to your heart has been done.

You set your account to private and removed him. 

Then you received an email from one of your professors, talking about how someone had interrupted a lecture shouting your name, and that he had to inform this individual you don’t attend your lectures, which was the cue for him to lecture you about the importance of good attendance and full investment in your education. 

It confused you. 

Not the scolding. Whatever Satoru’s up to. 

A lot. 

Why was he looking for you? Why was he trying to reach out? What else did he want? Was his dick broken and he wanted you to slap him back to health? Or did you leave something behind in his apartment?

The old you would have confronted him, asked him what the fuck he wanted, maybe blown him as a parting gift. The you now could only curl up in your bed, staring at the message and feeling tempted to hear him out.

You’re curious, that’s all.

Since the elevator, you’d been crying on and off. You ignored Brittany’s attempts to see you, claiming to have mono, and definitely ignored Eleanor and Jeanette’s accusations of you being pregnant. 

You wish you were pregnant. At least then he’d have a reason to stick by you. 

It’s not too late to fake it, you suppose. 

No, that’s stupid.

No one would believe you’re pregnant with your impeccable figure. 

Eventually, everyone’s messages stopped, like they had accepted you’re a shut-in now. You didn’t go to see Nanami on Monday, didn’t seek out Choso for some weed and cunnilingus in the backseat, or Geto for an orgy with his groupies. And it was good. 

There’s peace and quiet now. 

You can do the bare minimum for your studies, don’t have to do your makeup or shave or even wear anything other than some ratty T-shirt from home you never threw out. 

But it also means listening to the voices in your head telling you you’re not good enough for anyone. It means having to bask in the dull clenches of your heart every time you’re reminded of him. It means rolling over in bed and reaching out for a warm body that pulls you in and mutters about how good you smell, and being jolted awake when your arm falls through air. 

You can’t even doomscroll anymore; your feed’s been corrupted by videos of people building Lego sets, of film analysis, of all the work the Gojo Foundation has been doing. It’s like everywhere you look he’s there, and you can’t bring yourself to look away. Once, you replayed the same video of him attending some event in a suit, with his hair slicked back, and his glasses swapped out for sunglasses, for hours. 

When you shut your eyes, the video still played in your mind, like it’d been burnt into your retina.

A ping goes off on your phone. 

Lazily, you pick it up and blink through the blur of your eyes, which had gotten used to the darkness of your room. Jeanette sent you a picture, and captioned it: I want the next turn when she’s done with him.

You sit up.

It’s a picture of two people. A man.

Him.

He’s on campus, standing under a veranda as rain pours heavily, holding designer shopping bags — Tiffany, Chanel, Prada — and laughing with a girl.

“No fucking way.”

The covers are thrown on the floor with the speed you jump out of bed, fighting through the sudden lightheadedness that threatens to send you falling, and hurriedly gathering your lipgloss and mini skirt off the floor. The curtains are torn open and the grey sky glares back at you. It’s pouring. 

It must have been taken recently, if not just now.

Sheets of rain slam against the windows, blurring the campus into watercolour streaks.

You move fast. Faster than you have in like a month. Shower on. Teeth brushed. Concealer under your eyes to hide the proof that your heart’s been shattered into a million pieces and not even nail glue could fix it back up.

You pick the tightest top you own. The shortest skirt. Something that says you are not the pathetic thing you’ve been rotting into.  Lip gloss swiped on. Hair brushed until it shines. Mascara layered thick. You’d rather die than be seen all ugly and disgusting by anyone, least of all him and that skank.

The cold hits instantly when you step outside.

Rain soaks through your clothes within seconds, clinging the fabric to your skin. The mini skirt rides up as wind whips through campus, biting at your thighs. Your shoes splash through puddles with every march you make across the quad.

Students stare, point, laugh. You don’t care.

Your phone is still open to the picture Jeanette sent. You zoom in as you walk. It’s by the Quad, just a little away from the Physics building, where he liked to hang back in his free time to chat to professors in their offices. 

The environment starts matching the background of the picture.

You’re here.

And there he is.

Satoru fucking Gojo.

Under the stone veranda outside the humanities building, dry and sheltered, laughing like the world is light. He looks exactly like how he did in the picture, except now that you can see him in all of his glory, you can see there’s even more designer bags hanging off his arms. 

You can also see the girl beside him.

It’s Brittany.

Your Brittany.

The girl who held your hair back when you threw up. Who listened to you cry about him. Who promised time will heal all wounds, who said she liked him for you. 

It’s really her.

What you’re seeing in front of you, the abomination that it is, is exactly what you expected, yet in your frantic hurry to be near perfect, you’d manage to convince yourself you saw wrong or it looked like her but it wasn’t, or that Jeanette had done something to the picture. 

But no, she’s with him. She’s the one he was laughing with, the one that had stopped him from seeking you out. And he’s the reason she stopped texting you to ask if she could see you today or the next day.  

The rain pounds down harder, plastering your hair to your face, your mascara threatening to bleed.

He sees you first. 

His smile drops instantly. The bags go still in his hand. Brittany follows his gaze, confused. And when she sees you, her eyes widen in panic, in fucking guilt.

“Babe…” she began, but you cut her off.

“What the fuck is this?” you demand. Your hands are shaking. Your entire body’s trembling, whether from the cold or from the delirious fury crackling inside of you, you couldn’t tell.

“Hey—” he starts.

“Shut up.” You don’t even look at him. Your eyes are on her. On your best fucking friend. “How could you?” you scream.

Jeanette, you expected. Eleanor too. But Brittany? Your Brittany, making a man who was never really yours hers?

Were you so unloveable that no one would consider your feelings for even one fucking minute? Was there something genuinely wrong with you? Did you have a corrupting force inside that makes everyone stab their daggers in your back?

Brittany steps forward. “It’s not what you think.”

“Not what I think?” You laugh, hysterical, gesturing wildly at the shopping bags and their general closeness. “You’re on a date. With him. You’re telling me I’m mistaken?”

“It’s not a date,” she insists, exasperated.

Gojo cuts in, “It isn’t.”

“Oh my God, don’t.” Your voice is almost hoarse from how loud you’re shouting over the pounding of the rain, which threatens to send your legs buckling under you from its sheer force. “Do not stand there and pretend like you didn’t ruin me and then move on to her.”

Water drips off your lashes. You’re freezing now, teeth almost chattering, but adrenaline keeps you upright.

Brittany’s hands reach for you. Your glare pins her to where she stands. In spite of that, she sighs and says, “You need to calm down.”

“You listened to me cry about him,” you say, voice cracking completely now. “You told me he was bad for me. You said I deserved better, that I just need therapy. Is this your version of therapy? Sleeping with him?”

Gojo steps forward. “Okay, that’s enough—”

“Stay out of it!” you snap at him. Even now, he’s defending her, choosing to protect her from you, because you’re some big monster in their eyes. You’re the one trampling all over their Happy Ever After. 

His jaw tightens.

You’re soaked to the bone. Your fingers are numb. Your arms are goosebumped and aching, legs itchy from the cold. You must look insane — mascara’s running down your face, stinging your eyes.

But you don’t care.

Because they’re dry. Sheltered. Together. And they look so fucking good together, so happy, and it’s you who wiped the smiles off their faces, it’s you who’s disturbing them, ruining their day.

“You’re dead to me,” you say to both of them. 

Gojo’s expression shifts at that. Something almost pained flickers there.

But you don’t stay to analyse it. You turn and walk away. No umbrella. No coat. Just the cold and the humiliation and the sound of your own ragged breathing as the sky roars above you.

Marching back the way you came, you pant, rain water dripping inside your mouth. It tastes salty. You don’t see the people looking at you, the phones held up recording everything, and you don’t know if Jeanette had seen everything. 

You can’t pretend you don’t care about that, about any of this, because in all the years you’d spent debasing yourself over and over again for a shed of attention from some asshole, you’d never been more hurt, never been more devastated. Whatever was left of your heart has been set on fire, leaving behind ashes. And there were witnesses, videos that’ll remind you of the worst moment of your life.

Who are you going to turn to now?

Who was going to hug you, give you a pep talk, who was going to make you feel like a real person? 

Who do you have?

“Wait!”

You turn around, arms tightly hugging yourself. “What the hell do you want?”

Gojo bends over, hands on his knees and gasping for air. His clothes and hair are soaked. He’s not wearing his glasses, yet he peers up at you like he’s never seen you more clearly. Your spine stiffens. “I want to talk, to explain.”

Disgust deepening on your face, you sneer at him. “Spare me. I don’t want to hear every sorry detail.”

“Sordid,” he says, then shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. Habit.” 

Straightening, he musters a weak smile, trying to look friendly, reassuring. His bright eyes scan your face, then your body, and his smile drops. “You’re cold,” he notes, then grimaces. “I don’t have a jacket on me; my sweater’s soaked. But you can have it, if you want.”

“Stop!” you screech, stomping your foot and sending puddles around your splattering. “Stop pretending you give a shit. Go back to that fucking bitch and die.”

He leaps forward as you make a move to walk away. Gojo cages you in his arms, keeping you there with him. His heat envelopes you.

You gasp, outraged. “How dare you!”

With a grimace, he says, “I know, I know. Sorry. I just need you to listen to me.”

“I don’t want to,” you grit out. 

This is the closest to him you’ve been in a long time. You can feel the familiar hardness of his body, the strength in his arms, the pounding of his heart which matches yours in a perfect rhythm and tempo. 

Gojo’s brows are furrowed so hard he forms a deep wrinkle that threatens to become a permanent fixture on his face. “I’m not sleeping with her.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, it’s true,” he insists, body a wall against your resistance. “I ran into her on campus this morning, and I saw an opportunity to reach you, to talk to you — I asked her to help me get you back.”

That stops your squirming. 

“I asked her what to do, how I can win you back, make you accept my apology. And she said you’re materialistic; you like gifts. Well, she didn’t want to help me at first. In fact, she screamed some pretty horrible things at me when I first asked, which I deserved. But she eventually quietened down when I said I’d do whatever, no matter the cost.”

It’s true. You do like gifts, but who doesn’t? 

And you’re not very happy to hear how she’d been talking about you, like liking gifts was some kind of character flaw. Although…a massive part of you has been calmed upon hearing that they’re not sleeping together. Of course, he could be lying, but Gojo’s not the type. He’s honest, a trait he displayed so brutally you’ve been left picking up the pieces in the wake of his truth.

Regardless, you’re on edge.

He continues, speaking quite fast as though he knows your wrath will resurface and he might lose his chance for good if he doesn’t hurry up, “So we went shopping.”

“All those gifts…they were for me?” you ask, blinking.

A small smile graces his lips. “Yeah,” he replies. “I’m not good at girl shopping, or shopping for anything that’s not a toy, so I really appreciated her expertise.”

“Those are expensive brands,” you note like an idiot, not really knowing what to say. Slowly, your body succumbs to his embrace, unable to help itself.

“I can afford it,” Gojo says simply. 

Sighing, you pat his chest. He gets the memo and carefully places you down on your feet. The rain’s still pouring, not as heavy as it was before, but certainly heavy enough that there’s no one out in the park other than you two.

You mutter, “If this is because of what I said in the closet, then I’m sorry — your whole family thing doesn’t actually interest me very much, no offence. It just came out, because I realised you’d never properly invested in me, in our relationship. I’m not trying to use you for your money.”

“I know,” he replies, cradling your face in his soft, wet hands. “I know. I just wanted to do whatever I could to make you give me a chance, at least to apologise properly and explain myself.”

Gojo wipes the water droplets hanging off your fake lashes, and the mascara dirtying your face. 

In spite of the weather, his hands are warm. They almost make you forget about everything. 

“You don’t have to explain anything. You’re right. About everything,” you say, avoiding those piercing eyes that felt like they could see everything in the limitless void of yours. “We had an agreement: experimental sex, pretending, and absolutely no falling in love. I ruined all of it. I’m sorry I blew it all up. You must have felt so uncomfortable.”

“I was,” he agrees, sadness lacing his voice. “But not because I was mad ‘you blew it up,’ or whatever you’re thinking. I was uncomfortable because you sprung something on me that I hadn’t been thinking about on purpose.”

“What?”

“I love you,” he says. 

You shake your head, breath growing shallower and shallower by the second. You try to pry his hands off you. “No, no, stop it.”

“Yes,” Gojo promises, holding your face still and forcing you to look into his eyes, unobscured. “I love you, but I forced myself not to. I abandoned that idea and squashed it down, wayyy down, because it was wrong, because it would make you uncomfortable, because it would push you away. I mean, I didn’t know it then, that it was love, but I knew what I felt for you far exceeded friendship.”

Blood rushes through your head, threatening to drown his voice out. You gulp a sob building in your throat, fighting the urge to run, to deny this is happening. In all the time you’d spent wallowing, replaying everything and imagining all sorts of future scenarios, this never occurred to you.

You never thought he could actually love you.

“That night, in the diner, I sat across from you, watched you drum your pretty nails, bat your long lashes, scowl at every other patron, and I knew I was in trouble,” Gojo says, thumb brushing your cheek absentmindedly. “And when you begrudgingly admitted that you liked fries with the milkshake, all cute and wanting to pretend you didn’t, my heart was basically yours, and it’s stayed yours throughout this whole thing. And it’s still yours now, even if you don’t want it, even if you have someone else’s, even if you’ll just throw it away. Because I don’t care what you do with it — it’s no good to me if it’s not beating for you.”

He opens his mouth to say more, but you’ve heard enough.

Grabbing him by his sweater, you yank him towards you, smashing your lips against his. As lightning flashes above you and thunder soon follows, you lose yourself in his taste, a taste you’d forgotten. 

Satoru melts, hands falling from your face to your waist, clutching you closer until your front’s flushed with his, until not an atom separated you from him.

“I do want your heart,” you tell him. “I want to squeeze it, dig my nails into it, stomp on it, and make you feel everything I felt. And I will do what I want with it, because you’re right, Satoru; your heart’s mine, and I’ll scalp every bitch that tries to take it.”

A great, big smile brightens his entire face. The brightest smile you’ve ever seen, the most genuine, most stunning smile. He pecks your lips, once and twice and again, and says, “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever had anyone tell me.”

“I can be sweet,” you reply, shrugging.

He nods. “The sweetest.”

Then he laughs, combing his drenched hair back. Satoru parts from you, spinning under the rain with his arms wide open, and eyes shut, basking in the darkness of the clouds. Droplets fly off him, some landing on you.

“I feel like screaming Eureka!” he yells so loud the trees rustle.

You laugh, uncaring of the strange looks people give you two, and actually giving an elderly couple a middle finger whilst he isn’t looking.

When he moves to adjust something on his face and then frown, you finally ask the question you’d been wondering since you saw the picture: “Where are your glasses?”

“Oh, um,” he stammers, sheepish. A pink hue grows on his cheeks. “I left it in one of the bags today, after I went to the opticians to get, um, contacts.”

“Contacts?”

“I don’t know. I thought you’d like me better if I didn’t look so…nerdy. It’s stupid, I know. I was just desperate, I guess.” Then he pauses, peering at you through his white flashes. “Do you like it? It’s kinda itchy on my eyes; I can get used to it though.”

Your thumb brushes over his eyelids. “I like you better with your glasses actually. It’s always fun when they get foggy and you just throw them off so you can eat me out better.”

A grin pulls at his lips. He kisses you again, and mumbles a simple, “Noted.”

“Speaking of bags,” you start, looking around and behind him, “what about my gifts? Where did you put them?”

Satoru blinks, then scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. He confesses, “I left them back with Brittany, but I don’t think I actually asked her to wait for me, so there’s a good chance they’ve been taken. I’ll buy it all again. Oh! Wait!”

He fishes in his pocket, fumbling against the soaked and shrunken pockets of his jeans. Metal clings and colourful keychains dangle in the air. 

The pink tinting his cheeks darken, as do the tips of his ears. He avoids your eyes. “I had these made when I was out with the guys a while back; I don’t know why I didn’t give it to you sooner — maybe I was just worried you’ll think it’s cringe or something. You can take it as a placeholder in the meantime.”

Snatching it from his hand, you marvel at it with wide eyes.

It’s you two.

No, it’s Toru and his little wife. 

Tears well up again.

“No, no,” he says, cradling your face again with a worried expression. “No, baby, I’m sorry. You hate it, don’t you? Of course you do. I mean after what I said, about how they’re just toys—”

You shake your head. “No, Satoru. I love it. I love Toru and his scary wife.”

He smiles, relieved, and whispers against your forehead, “I love them too. I love them so much. And now,” he says, hooking the Lego man on his belt loop and, with your suggestion, hooks the woman on your bra strap because that’s the only place you have to keep her, “they’ll be with us forever.”

“Definitely longer than the end of the school year, right?” you ask, looking up at him through your lashes.

Satoru kisses you.

“To infinity and beyond, if I can help it.”

Giggling, you point out, “That sounds like a really long time.”

More kisses are peppered on your face, lips, and neck, and basically anywhere he can reach. He mutters on your wet skin, sounding much more serious and solemn, “Not long enough, if you ask me actually.” He whispers. “Never long enough. No amount of time could make up for what we lost, but I’ll try. By Merlin, I’ll try.”

You brush hair away from his face, realising that the rain had basically disappeared as the sun begins warming your skin some time during your conversation. 

“Let’s just start with forever, shall we?”

“Good idea, Diapers.”

.

.

.

“Pastel pink or hot pink, Toru?”

His glossy eyes lazily flit up through his foggy glasses. Tongue completely flat against your puffy clit, his words come out muffled when he answers, “What about something blue?”

You pout, brushing his hair back just so you can bunch it in a tight fist, yanking to get a wince out of him and so he’ll bury his face even deeper into your pussy. “But I wanted a pink set.”

Satoru pets your thigh, lapping up your juices. He says, “Get whatever you want, wifey, just get something in blue too.”

Beaming, you gleefully check out the La Perla lingerie sets you’ve picked out, too excited to wait till they arrived. Ahh, you’re going to look so good in the lace. He definitely won’t be allowed to cum on them, which means he’ll have to cum inside. 

Sure, you already have loads of fancy clothes and shoes and bags from him, but what you really like are the lingerie sets. You have finer tastes. Scandalous tastes. Which he appreciates, and is always happy to indulge in. His place and yours are packed full of things he’d bought for you on a whim, and you’re running out of space and occasions to wear any of them. You really should tell him to stop spending money on you, but alas, it brings him joy so you shouldn’t rob him of the pleasure of spoiling you.

It’s a Saturday morning, and he’d woken up first. He couldn’t handle being the only one up, so he woke you up with his lips sucking your clit hard. If he was anyone else, you’d have been pissed to miss on valuable beauty sleep, but he’s your Satoru so whatever.

When you cum, he shoves a pillow under your hips and lines his leaking cock to your pulsing hole, far too impatient to wait for the last waves to subside. Mewling, you chastise him, “You’re in too much of a hurry; a pussy like mine needs to be appreciated in all its glory, Toru.”

“You’re right, baby,” he mutters, kissing your neck. “Always right.”

Every inch he pushes in robs you of more and more air, until you’re completely breathless as he fills you up. It’s always so fucking good. Your legs clamp around his hips, ankles hooking behind his ass and pulling him deeper and deeper. Satoru bottoms out with a groan, whole body trembling. 

He leisurely thrusts inside, taking his sweet time to reacquaint himself with your gummy walls. 

Humming, you wonder, “Did you dust my orchid?”

Satoru nods, rocking his hips inside in short, shallow thrusts, prodding your g-spot over and over again with his flushed cockhead. “Yeah. Lego sets tend to collect dust quite quickly. I -hah- made sure to be careful of any loose pieces, don’t worry.”

“Thank you. You know that took me ages to build, and I chipped one of my nails too.

A grin forms on his swollen lips. He replies, “Don’t have to thank me for anything; I’m always careful with your sets.”

“Oh, that’s right,” you coo, pinching his cheeks. “My boyfriend likes to make himself useful, doesn’t he?”

“He does indeed. He loves making his girlfriend happy.”

“As he should.”

You’re gushing around his fat cock, clinging to him tightly. The morning sunlight’s warming your skin, reminding you that there’s a whole day ahead, and as much as you’d love to, you can’t spend it in bed, or in the shower, against the window, on the kitchen island, the sofa, the coffee table, the—

The point’s clear.

Sharp nails run down his back, no doubt leaving marks on his pale skin. “Mm, Satoru, we might be late for the meeting if we don’t hurry up.”

“Can’t we just skip?” he asks, whining on your chest, and licking the beads of sweat forming down the valley of your breasts. 

In a blink of an eye, you have him pinned beneath you, cock still lodged firmly inside your cunt. “Now, now, that’s not very good of you.”

“Punish me then,” he retorts quickly. He had that locked and loaded. 

You lightly tap his cheek, moaning in satisfaction when he pulses inside of you. “It’s not a punishment if you like it.”

“Hmm, you’re so smart, baby.”

“Thank you,” you say, giggling.

Satoru smiles up at you through his glasses, eyes full of adoration. Your heart beats so loud you think he might hear it. Grinding in circles, you pick his glasses off his face and slide it on your nose bridge. 

“Jeez, how do you even live without these?” The prescription’s high. It’s blurry, already giving you a headache. “You’re sure you’re not actually blind?”

His cock throbs, and his hips buck up, cockhead kissing your cervix. You gasp, steadying yourself on his chest.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he grits out. 

A sly smile creeps up on your lips. Cooing, you draw a line down his chest, watching the red mark form, staking your claim. “Aw, do you think I’m pretty wearing your glasses, Satoru? Does it make you want to cum inside of my pretty pussy so soon?”

“Yes, yes,” Satoru gasps out. His hands clutch your hips, fingers digging into the slippery skin. “You’re so pretty, so fucking pretty.”

“Well of course I—”

A Marina song blares. Your attention darts to the phone on the bedside table. Rolling your eyes, you lean over to pick it up, dropping back down on his cock with an extra force so he’ll whimper and call out your name. You shush him with a glare, which has no real heat to it.

“Hello?”

“The nerve to be late when you’re the one who invited me here,” a snarky voice says, bored and irritated. 

Your hips are still circling on his pelvis, wringing out obscene squeeeeelches! that you hope Brittany doesn’t hear, but you don’t really care either way. You replace the glasses back on his face, finding the thick lenses doing more damage to your eyes than the hours you spend looking at your phone.

Satoru’s panicked eyes meet yours. He whispers, “W-we should stop.”

“Shush,” you mouth at him. Then, louder, you say to her, “Relax, we’re on our way. It’s just traffic-y.”

“Right,” she replies, dragging the word. “You really think I’m gonna buy that when I can literally hear your boyfriend straining not to bust a nut in the background.”

Ah, well, that’s fair — Satoru’s not being very quiet even though he’s trying his best; panting to get some air in his brain so he can think clearly, squirming so he won’t start violently thrusting upwards, and biting his lip as his eyes flit about your body, finding any bit of visual stimulation is killing him. 

Not the least bit apologetic, you say, “Whoops.”

“Whatever, whore. Just get over here already. Some greasy loser is eyeing me up, and I’m so bored I’m actually considering it.”

You laugh. “Oh, that’s just Ian. Don’t mind him. Although, I think you’d really like Dave, the barista.” 

“Ew, he’s ugly,” she screeches.

Desperate to cum already, you hurriedly say, “We’ll talk more later. Byeee.”

Grinning down at your boyfriend, you throw your phone somewhere. The malevolent glint in your eyes makes him gulp, and throb. “You’ve got ten minutes to make me cum two more times. You got it in you, Six Eyes?”

Satoru chuckles, cheeks flushed and hands pulling you down so he can reach your lips. “Hell yeah, baby.”

The ten minutes become thirty, and you end up a whole hour late to the meeting. 

The bustle of the cafe on a Saturday morning slams into you in full force. A table full of people sit up straighter when they see you both. Some of them wave, one gives you a finger you reflect right back to her.

“Hey guys!”

Your boyfriend pulls a chair back for you, and you thank him with a kiss to his cheeks that some gush at, and another gags at. That makes you kiss him on his lips to pull another gag out before sitting down and giving them all a fake, apologetic smile. 

You pop a gum in your mouth to wash the taste of cum from your mouth lest Brit smells it and gives you hell. “So sorry we’re late. We just had car troubles.”

Satoru nods, arm thrown over the back of your chair, hand resting on your shoulder. “Yeah, was a very bumpy ride. Sorry guys.” You squeeze his thigh, fighting the urge to laugh with him.

Opposite you, Brittany gives a disbelieving look. “You guys are disgusting, I hate you both.”

“Tuna mayo.” 

“Why, what happened?” Haibara asks, blinking. 

Beside him, Ijichi adjusts his glasses and mumbles, “I believe they’re lying about being late because of traffic.”

“We were having sex and lost track of time,” you confess with no shred of guilt.“Sue us.”

Some of the guys blush.

This isn’t the first time you’ve been late to a meeting with your friends; it happens so often they’ve actually started giving you the wrong time so you’d show up on time, and yet it almost never works. You’ve become one of those repulsive couples in movies that you roll your eyes at, and it’s the greatest thing ever. Because if there’s anything you like more than orgasms, it’s making other people jealous.

Yuji, awkwardly wanting to move on, claps his hands, scanning the big table with a growing glimmer in his competitive eyes. He announces, “Everything’s set up, we’re all here — I think we’re ready to go.”

Unsure, your bestie inspects the little pieces and the board in front of her. She asks, “None of this makes sense to me. What exactly am I supposed to do?” 

Satoru proudly boasts, “Since my wifey here won the last game, I think she should do the honours of breaking your virginity.”

“Gross,” the two of you say in unison, fighting back smiles when your eyes meet. 

As everyone’s eyes land on you, you pick up your piece, twirling it between manicured fingers. When you sense everyone growing tiresome with the wait, you finally say, “It’s simple. I roll. I pick a card and make a move based on what it says. And then I inevitably get targeted because apparently I’m ‘too strategic’.”

“You are too strategic,” Yuji argues, already narrowing his eyes at you as though he’ll be able to see into your mind and anticipate your next underhanded move. “Last time you built an entire alliance just to wipe me out for no reason.”

“It’s called foresight,” you reply primly.

“It’s called manipulation,” Haibara corrects — not as an insult, on the contrary, it seems like a compliment. “But you’re right, Itadori! We need to stop her reign of terror.”

“I concur.”

“Bonito flakes.”

Jaw dropping, you scoff. “Oh so now it’s okay to gang up on people? Real honourable, you guys.”

“Don’t worry, wifey. I’ll protect you,” the man beside you promises.

“You’re the first one I’m eliminating,” you say, matter-of-factly. Since you learnt the rules of the game, he’s stopped going easy on you, stopped setting things up so you could win. Now, he’s an enemy. “I’d rather lose than let you win.”

Under your hand, something grows. His eyes sparkle when he realises you know, but he’s not ashamed at all. He never is; he’s just happy his dick is working.

Satoru can’t help himself; he pinches your chin and drags you over to give a kiss on your lips. He deepens it despite the playful complaints the whole table gives about ‘not rubbing it in’ and ‘getting a room’. When he parts, he’s chewing and leaning back in his chair like nothing happened. 

That sly bastard…

Waving a hand in your face to grab your attention, Brittany asks with a lot of attitude, “Cool, but how do I win?”

You smile, leaning back in your chair too. Head resting on his shoulder and playing with the keychain on his belt, you tell her, “It’s not about winning, Brit, you silly goose.”

Satoru presses a kiss to the top of your head, a smile growing in your hair.

“It’s all about good storytelling.”

“Ew, why is it sticky?” You sneer as you snatch your essay from Satoru’s hand- haughtily holding the page between your index and thumb as you examine the foreign splotches. “Oh, uh…” He begins with a nervous cough, “Must’ve spilled something on it, sorry.” You acknowledge him with a pointed glare for a bit too long and his cheeks begin to burn. Had you figured him out? “I-I said I was sorry-“ The sound of you angrily slamming the paper into your binder cuts him off, “I-I s-said I was s-sorry!” You mock, and your friends laugh from somewhere behind you. “Don’t let it happen again, freak.” 

Satoru doesn’t say anything else as he watches you saunter off to join the stuck up bitches you call your friends. He can’t help but glance at your ass, a tiny smirk stretching across his lips as you brush your hair from your face using the same hand you’d used to hold the paper. You were so fucking dumb- and so fucking hot. That ‘sticky substance’ wasn’t just a spill, it was his pent up anger towards you released onto your English essay, and you were none the wiser. 

“Y’know, he’d be kinda cute if he took those stupid glasses off.” Your friend, yawns as you approach, “Yuck Emi, have some standards.” You grimace, “If you wanna try and fuck some good grades out of him, be my guest. Just don’t tell me the details.” She scoffs at you, “Trust, I’ve already tried. Seems like he’s a little preoccupied if you catch my drift.” Emi shoulders you with raised brows and you squint. 

I mean, of course he had a crush on you- who didn’t? He’s lucky you even acknowledge that he exists. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t fuck him at least once? I heard that nerds pack a punch.” Yuki laughs and you grin meanly, purposefully raising your voice, “Dude he’s probably a virgin loser like the rest of his weirdo friends , if I fucked him I’d be doing him a favor.” They snicker and quickly change the topic to whatever party was happening this weekend. As you wait for them to finish packing their things, you can’t fight the urge to glance back at Satoru. You expect to find him buried in his book, but instead, he’s looking directly at you. Your eyes widen slightly before you sneer in his direction, not bothering to look back as you leave the auditorium.

You don’t acknowledge Satoru until a few days later when it’s time for him to give you your next assignment. He’s hunched over a piece of paper, scribbling wildly when you approach and slam your hand on his desk. He jumps so hard that he knocks his glasses off- he tries to grab them, but you're quicker. “Tsk tsk. Where’s my math homework?” He doesn’t look at you, only gazes down at his lap, “Hey. I’m talking to you.” Satoru glances up finally, baby blues on display as he blinks towards you and then, his glasses. 

“I-it’s done, I just…I was in a rush this morning so I accidentally left it in my dorm.” Your brows furrow in annoyance, “I thought you were supposed to be smart.” Before he can reply, you drop his glasses on the floor, and the clatter makes the room go quiet. “Go on. Pick them up.” You smirk, and he slowly bends down, cheeks bright red in embarassment. Before he can grasp the thin mental however, your foot comes down on the frames and a snap! follows. 

Meanly, you twist his thin wire frames into the linoleum floor and haphazardly kick the pieces to where he kneels. He can only look up at you with wide eyes as you lean down.

“I’m going to come by your dorm later, and you better fucking have what I asked for, got it?” You don’t wait for his answer as you snatch your bag up and walk away- your skirt lifting slightly and giving him a glimpse of your cute frilly panties. He’s never been angrier, more turned on, and he fights the urge to ask you what the fuck your issue is. He’d never been unkind to you, hell, he was the one that showed you around when you got lost your first day. You weren’t mean then, in fact, he’d go as far as to say you were sweet. It wasn’t until you got around those idiots you call friends that you started to change. 

Satoru decides then as he picks up the broken pieces of his glasses that he’s going to teach you what it feels like to be bullied. He can’t stop the perverted smile that stretches across his face. 

You come to his dorm at exactly 7pm sharp, your knocks coming fast and annoyed. He whips the door open and you’re stopped in your tracks. He’s not in his usual baggy sweater, instead he sports a white tank top and loose sweats- his hair is slightly damp from what you assume was a shower. Satoru looks a lot bigger in this light, towering over you now that he wasn’t hunched over with the weight of his and your text books on his back. 

“Wow, guess you’re not a total bean pole. Could’ve fooled me.” You jab as you give him a once over , he leans against the door frame and acknowledges you silently. You blanch. “Ugh, stop being weird and give me my fuckin’ homework, asshat.” You sneer up at him and cross you arms. You miss the way he blatantly stares at your tits before ushering you inside. “Gotta look for it- got it mixed up with my stuff so it’ll take a minute. You can sit.” 

With a sigh, you enter his room and shut the door softly behind you. It was awkward to be around him in such a personal setting- made him seem a little too human. You almost felt…bad, but that didn’t last long because from where you sat, you noticed a very very familiar pair of lace pink panties. Your lace pink panties? 

You squint. It was entirely possible that those belonged to some other girl, but your pair had gone missing not too long ago, and it was peculiar that it’d only happened once Satoru started using the same laundry room as you. Plus, who’d wanna touch him anyway? “Y/n?” You’re shaken from your trance by his voice, “What?” You didn’t like the lack of confidence you answered with, but he didn’t seem to mind as he held out a stack of paper towards you. 

“Here.” You roll your eyes and go to snatch the papers from him as you stand, but his grip is too strong. “Y’know..” He starts, “You could say thank you.” You’re shocked for a split second before you sneer up at him, “Just give me my fucking homework.” He holds it out of your reach as you try and grab it. “Where are your manners, Y/n?”  You swallow heavy, very uncomfortable by the sudden change in dynamic. The proximity between you didn’t help. He steps forward and you step back until you’re cornered. 

“Not so confident now, hm?” He whispers as he towers over you, his gaze dark. You can do nothing but stare, unsure of how to react. “I’m…gonna go.” You try to b-line towards the door, but a strong arm around your waist pulls you back. “Tsk. Not so fast, I’m not done with you yet.” You try to push him off, but just as easily as he discards your homework, he pushes you onto his bed. 

“W-what are you doing!?” You stutter and he laughs, “W-what are you doing?!” He mocks you as you thrash in his grip. “I’m just teaching you how to be grateful, brat.” He sighs, fingers running up your exposed thigh and towards your underwear. You freeze as his thumb brushes along your clothed cunt, his smile widening as he regards the slick between your thighs. 

“What’s this?” He taunts, you buck. “Get the hell off of me!” Satoru only holds you tighter, “I don’t think I will.” And he doesn’t, his assault between your thighs only becomes more prevalent, and your nails digging into his arms doesn't stop him. Just as soon as he’s started, he stops- stepping back and leaving you unraveled on his bed; a wet spot on your panties.

You sit up quickly, eyes watery as you regard him with a sneer. “What’s your fucking problem!?” You hiss, and he hums, “I could ask you the same thing.” Your brows furrow and you clamp your thighs shut in embarrassment. “Listen. It’s nothing personal-“ You start, but he cuts you off. “Oh but it is personal. Real personal.” Your heart slams against your ribcage as he slips his tank off, followed by his sweatpants. 

You gulp at the noticeable bulge in his boxers, “P-please,” you beg and he laughs meanly, roughly grabbing your ankles as he drags you toward him. “You’re gonna have to beg better than that.” You don’t realize that you’re crying until the saltiness of your tears hits your tongue. “Y’know, you can do this willingly, or,” He hooks a finger into the band of your skirt, “I can just let the superintendent know about your behavior. Let her know how you’ve been cheating on tests and harassing your peers.” Your lip wobbles pathetically and Satoru can’t help the way his boxers tighten. 

“They’d never believe you, y/n. So the choice is yours.” You say nothing for a long time, gaze downcast in horror. You could hardly believe that he was blackmailing you, and in a deep, twisted way, it was almost admirable how he’d lured you right into his trap. A gentle, impatient slap to your thigh brings you back, and slowly you allow him to take purchase between your legs. “Smart girl.” He presses a kiss to your cheek. “Now strip.” 

It isn’t until he’s balls deep inside you that you realize how devastating your situation has become. He’s got you in all fours, cheek pressed into the mattress as he pounds away at your cunt. You’ve cum more times than you can count, but he’s nowhere near done. “Say you’re sorry.” Satoru grunts from above you, one hand tangling itself in your hair while the other holds you in place so you can’t run from him. 

“Hmgh- I’m s-sorry!” You whimper, eyes squeezing shut as he slaps your ass, hard. “Not good enough. Make me believe it.” He pants from above you and you can’t help but sob, “I-I’m sorry, Satoru, I’m sorry! Please-“ He pulls out and flips you onto your back, quickly plunging back into your creamy pussy with no restraint. He’s got your wrists pinned above your head now, and you can already tell that the marks he’s given you will be impossible to cover with makeup. 

“Say thank you.” He growls and you wince in embarrassment, words nearly incomprehensible as you cum around his dick again- head whipping side to side as you slur out a mix of “I’m sorry” , “thank you,” , and “I wont do it again.” Honestly, he doesn’t believe you, but god, he could listen to you beg forever. In fact… 

A sudden flash is what makes you finally open your eyes, and you nearly choke when you’re met with Satoru’s phone camera. He’s recording. “Say it right, pretty girl. I want to hear you nice and clear.” He’s grinning like a mad man, and you shake your head no, but a rough thrust reminds you that the sooner you comply, the sooner it’ll end. 

“I…I’m s-sorry for treating you the way I have, S’toru- thank you f-for taking care of me, f-for helping me pass all m-my classes!” You groan as he grabs your chin and forces you to look into the lense, “tell them whose dick you’ve been cumming on.” He snarls as you utter his name, “And whose fuckin’ pussy is this?” Again, you indulge him and you gasp as he cums. It's white hot, and his load is so huge that you can feel your belly bulge. 

He cleans you up after, gets in the shower with you and washes your body- slips you into one of his tshirts and tucks you into his bed. It isn’t until you’re wrapped tightly in his arms that you speak again. “Can…I leave?” He tuts, “No…you’ll stay here where I can keep an eye on you. Oh, and I don’t want you hanging out with those friends of yours anymore- they’re a bad influence.” You can only lay there, knowing that until you could delete that video and get rid of the evidence, you had to bend at his whim.

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 gets a bomb of message from his students using their parents' number, a bunch of 6-7 years old kids with their broken vocabulary asking to see a cockatoo that they thought you actually bought during a short trip to the shop.

Sukuna Ryomen (Yuuji's uncle) : Dear, sur gojoe This is yuuji, i want to c the cokatwo plz. I am feri intrusted in the burd, tank you feri much, ankel kuna sayz he is wan t0 c the cokatwo too :D tank you sir gojoe

"Oh, come on. He's a cutie, let's just get the one at the shop — I think they're mistreating that poor cockatoo," you chuckled, reading the message from over Satoru's shoulder.

"He is insufferable."

"He's a cutie!"

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 wondered how these kids could figure out how to use an e-mail so young, they should be sending letters with ugly writings and ugly drawings to each other and asking their parents to arrange a playdate with their friends! He wondered why he got a threat e-mail with the most broken vocabulary and butchered up words from his student (pretending to be their father).

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: This is a THREAT! Helo, I am Fushgoro Toji, Megumi dad. My son sais your big pipol gurlfrend bout a COKATO, this is a THREAT, plihs send the pickture of the COKATO or I will tell to the prince epal! Also, dos the COKATO look like this? 👇

Love, Fushgroe]o Toji

Satoru held back a snicker as he took a screenshot of the said e-mail, sending the picture for you to see from the bedroom. Your loud laugh was enough to make him laugh as he types a professional response.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: Apologies, Mr. Fushiguro Apologies, Mr. Fushiguro for the late reply. There seemed to be a miscommunication between the students and I regarding a few messages from my wife that might have been "accidentally" shown during a session of class about purchasing a Cockatoo from her trip to the shop. P.S That is not how a Cockatoo looks like, I believe that's an owl hoot hoot 🦉

Love, Gojo Satoru

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢's days of getting terrorized did not stop there — it has been at least 2 days since the messages, he does get a few students coming up to him to ask about the said bird; but, he has to explain patiently about how you didn't manage to get them. Although, these cunning kids did not believe in him.

Today, he came to class and earned himself a little "not so" anonymous note from one of his students. Messy handwriting, written with a red color pencil, a few angry faces drawn on the paper.

Giv the CAKOTOO! We want tah COKAToO !

There was only one student that he knows uses a red color pencil in doing anything, Kugisaki Nobara. She eyed him from the back, narrowing her eyes as she scribbles on another paper (probably another love letter for her teacher).

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢's Cockatoo made it to the second year elementary students class that he too teacher — upon entering the class, he had his students crowding around him, asking about the bird.

"Can we see the bird? The parrot? Yuuji said you have one!" Aoi beamed happily, almost jumping himself onto Satoru.

Satoru grimaced, "There is no bird."

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 didn't only have to deal with 12 6-7 years old on his ass asking about a bird, but 12 8 years old on his ass constantly sending him after work hours messaged through their parents' phone.

Aoi Todo's parent: HELLO! SIR GOJO, IT'S TODO, I WAN TO SEE THE BURRRDDDD 🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜

Gojo Satoru: No birds here, Todo. It's a bit late, big boys should sleep.

Aoi Todo's parent: You should slep sir

Gojo Satoru: Yep, I should sleep. Good night!

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢's phone was constantly on do not disturb now, although he felt the urge to block his students' parents to avoid more unnecessary questions about the non-existent bird — it is against the school rules. Not to mention, he is the homeroom teacher in charge for these students.

Toji (Megumi's dad) : Hi

Gojo Satoru : Hello, Megumi

Toji (Megumi's dad) : This is Toji

Gojo Satoru: Hello, Mr. Fushiguro

Toji (Megumi's dad) : Give th COKATO 😡😡

Gojo Satoru: No COKATO around here, sir (fortunately).

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 was surprised to see that one day after another yet tiring teaching day, the said Cockatoo was inside a cage in your house while you were tending to it. You beam at the sight of him, rushing to him.

"Alright, hear me out."

"I am hearing," he sighs out softly, taking off his coat.

"They were mistreating this poor baby, I just had to get him out. I brought him to the vet and he's malnourished, he has a little injury in his little wing, how sad..." You pout, looking at the cockatoo now in the cage, hopping around — it wasn't the smallest cage, actually. It took at least a quarter of the corner in the living room, "I named him Gojo Junior, he can say 'I love you' and 'hello', how cute is that? And can you believe they wanted me to pay extra for his 'adoption papers'?"

Guess this marks the end of his terrorization.

"Gojo Junior, huh?"

"Mhm! Isn't he just the cutest? I think he loves me already," you coo at the little bird.

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 took a picture of the said cockatoo, making a blast e-mail to parents' e-mail with a little bit of context that he was sure they were going to be confused about.

From: [email protected] To: [email protected], [email protected], 20+ recipients Subject: Say hello to Gojo Junior! Apologies for the out of school context e-mail, the kids have been asking to see my non-existent Cockatoo pet for quite a bit now. My wife had just brought the Cockatoo home earlier today, and I hope with this e-mail and proof of my Cockatoo, further messages and e-mails will be used for academic contexts! Thank you, good night. P.S we have brought the little guy to the vet, my wife actually did. This is a surprise for me as well, rest assured. He can say 'I love you' and 'hello' too! :>

Sincerely, Gojo Satoru

𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗗! 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 thought it would end there. However, these kids wanted more picture and videos of the cockatoo, especially asking for a video of Gojo Junior talking.

Here comes another round of terrorization.

You have to bite at your smile. She’s cute. Already she was flustered, fumbling as she gets to her seat. Her brown hair lingered to her shoulders. She hadn’t done anything special to it, yet it was bright and glossy under the restaurant’s dim candlelight. The dress she wore was subdued yet clung to her figure perfectly. Saiko was effortlessly gorgeous.

Nothing like her, constantly swathed in the most expensive clothes she could find.

“Did I keep you waiting?” She asks.

“No,” you assure, “don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry—I—Sorry,” she apologizes again and not even her make up can hide the cherry red on her cheeks, “You’re just so pretty.”

You can’t help but laugh. You missed this. Honesty. No games. No hours of going around and around in circles, trying to figure out what she meant.

She thought you were pretty.

“Thank you,” you tell her, “you’re really pretty too. I like your hair.”

She averts her gaze, tucking a brown lock behind her ear. It’s a normal shade of brown. Almost black. You needed a bit of normalcy in your life after what you went through.

“So—“ you lift up a menu—“what do you do?”

~

Dinner went a lot better than expected.

Underneath her shyness, Saiko was extremely sweet. She listened intently when you spoke. She was polite, never once trying to break your boundaries or push you. She was more than happy to take whatever you gave her. You appreciate that in a woman.

Conversation was easy and lasted for hours. You hadn’t realized how late it’d gotten until the two of you walked out of the restaurant underneath the black sky.

When you revealed you took the cab here, Saiko immediately offered to give you a ride back. You accepted without much fuss.

You wanted to keep the night going.

“I really enjoyed hanging out with you tonight,” you told her in the car, “it’s been a while since I’ve had fun like this.”

“I had a lot of fun too,” she admits, keeping her eyes on the road.

“This was my first date in a while.”

You perk up at that.

“Just got out of a relationship?” You can’t help but prod.

“A while ago,” she tells you, “it took a bit for me to really put myself out there, again.”

She meets your gaze, then.

“But I’m really glad I did.”

Flirt. You don’t mind.

“Me too,” you say, “I think this is my first first date in three years.”

She hummed.

“Did they cheat?”

“What?” You ask.

“Your ex,” Saiko prods, “three years is a long time. I’m guessing they must’ve done something drastic for you to walk away.”

She catches herself then, “I’m so sorry, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’m just nosy.” She gives an awkward laugh.

You normally don’t like talking about your last girlfriend. She brings up too many memories. Some good. Most bad.

Tonight, you’re slightly buzzed and you’re being a little less careful than usual.

“She didn’t cheat,” you assure, “If anything, she was obsessively loyal.”

Obsessed. Satoru was just obsessed. She would constantly cling onto you every time you come home. She’d text you all throughout the day. She’d get jealous anytime you talked to someone who wasn’t her. At first, you found it all extremely cute. She was smart, funny, insanely beautiful. She catered to you and only you. You thought you had the best girlfriend ever.

You thought you’d marry her someday.

But then everything started to get worse. She basically demanded your attention as soon as you got home from work, placating you to quit your job because she could take care of you. Texting turned to calls every other minute, and then frenzied texts if you didn’t pick up. Arguments would last for hours if you accidentally smiled at someone.

Your final straw was that tracker you found in your purse.

All things considered, Satoru was a walking red flag from the first day you met her. Even her friends gave it away. That doctor with zero morals and the cult leader of a best friend.

Saiko is still waiting for you to speak. You clear your throat.

“She was just…intense,” you say, “she wanted things from me I couldn’t give her. We fought a lot. The break up was really messy.”

You still remember that day. She was screaming at you, begging you not to leave her. Threats were hurled at you with zero care. You ran out of her penthouse apartment with the clothes on your back.

“You’ll come back to me,” it was the last thing she ever said to you, “I’m the only one for you. You’ll come back to me.”

She sounded so certain of it. Just remembering her words made you shiver.

“For a while after I couldn’t even look at people who resembled her. White hair. Blue eyes.”

Satoru needed help. You couldn’t fix her. She needed to fix herself. You just realized that too late.

You don’t notice how quiet Saiko got until a couple minutes later.

“Shit,” you swear, “just look at me: I’m talking about my ex on a first date.”

“It’s okay,” Saiko assures you.

A couple seconds later:

“Your ex sounds like a cunt.”

It’s the hardest you’ve ever laughed in months.

You’re still smiling when she pulls in front of your apartment. The car rolls to a stop.

You don’t make the effort to leave.

“Thanks,” you tell her again, ”for the date and this. It was really fun.”

“I’m glad you came,” she tells you.

Just when you reach for the door, she suddenly blurts something out.

“They’re fake.”

“I’m sorry?” You look at her.

She points to her blue eyes.

“Contacts,” she tells you, “I like switching things up every now and then.”

“Oh.” You relax. “What’s your real eye color?”

A coy smile grows on pretty lips. “I guess you’ll have to find out on our next date.”

You grin at that.

“I like the sound of that,” you say, “okay. Next time, then.”

Her eyes brighten. “Really?—ah” she reels herself in when she realizes how eager she sounded.

That honesty again. It’s such a breath of fresh air. For her sake, you hold in your laughter.

“Bye, Saiko.” You climb out of her car. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

She agrees, waving you off. She doesn’t leave until you’re safe in your apartment.

~

‘Best date ever’

She replays the night all the way home. Each word you spoke. Each time you laughed. She cataloged it all in your head.

Fuck, she wanted to text you so bad. Would that be too forward of her? You specifically asked her to text you but maybe you didn’t mean it like that. Was it just a formality or something more genuine?

At least, you wanted to see her again.

When she gets to her house, she decides she’ll shower first, then text you. She wants to get out of her dull clothes. She usually hates dressing up so bland but you seemed to respond well to it. She can live with that.

She kicks off her shoes, throwing her car keys in the dish.

Shoko sits on the couch, barely looking up from her phone.

“How did it go?” She finally asks.

“Good.” She beams. “So good. Everything was just perfect I—“

“That’s not what I was asking about, Gojo.”

She frowns. “It’s Ikezawa Saiko to you.”

“I’m not calling you that.”

Satoru shook her head. Okay, Saiko might not be her legal name yet, but it will be soon. Her friends should at least try to get used to it.

Suguru sits across from Shoko, looking equally as bored.

“That was really dangerous.” Satoru rolls her as as Suguru starts up her lecture again. “You’re only two months post-surgery, stressing yourself like this isn’t doing your healing any good.”

“That’s why I have one of the best doctors in the country on stand-by.” She gestures to Shoko. “Relax. I have it all under control.”

Suguru continues to stare. Satoru sighs.

“I know it was stupid…I was desperate, okay?” She hadn’t seen you in forever. She missed you.

Suguru shakes her head but doesn’t push further.

“How did it go?” She asks.

“I got a second date.” Satoru admits with a grin.

Neither look impressed.

“Right.” Shoko leans back. “So, how is this different than last time?”

“Everything’s different from last time.” Satoru stresses as she passes a mirror. She barely does a double take. She’s getting used to her new face.

Her surgeon was good. Extremely good. The weeks of covering her face in bandages were worth it. She barely recognised herself.

You thought she was a completely different person.

“I’m gonna do better, this time ” She insists, “I know I messed up before, but I’ll do better. I have to.”

The day you ran was the day everything fell apart for her. You were the only reason she ate and drank and breathed. Without you, life was pointless.

But you didn’t want her anymore. You didn’t even want to see her. You wanted a blank slate.

She could be that blank slate.

“What if you get found out?” Shoko prods.

“I won’t,” Satoru assures, “I’ll be super careful, trust me.” Her hair might pose an issue but she’ll be retouching it every 2 weeks—just before her roots show.

“No, this is very much insane,” Suguru comments, nonchalantly, as though she were discussing the weather.

“You are attempting to pull off some impossible plan that will ultimately fail. So? What then?”

Satoru balls up her fist. It won’t happen. She won’t lose you again. She’s sure of it.

But…if something does go wrong.

Well, she bought a house with a finished basement for a reason, right?

“It doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head.

She just knows that you two are finally gonna be together again—Forever, this time.

Wait, she’s forgetting something.

She rechecks herself in the mirror.

You have to bite at your smile. She’s cute. Already she was flustered, fumbling as she gets to her seat. Her brown hair lingered to her shoulders. She hadn’t done anything special to it, yet it was bright and glossy under the restaurant’s dim candlelight. The dress she wore was subdued yet clung to her figure perfectly. Saiko was effortlessly gorgeous.

Nothing like her, constantly swathed in the most expensive clothes she could find.

“Did I keep you waiting?” She asks.

“No,” you assure, “don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry—I—Sorry,” she apologizes again and not even her make up can hide the cherry red on her cheeks, “You’re just so pretty.”

You can’t help but laugh. You missed this. Honesty. No games. No hours of going around and around in circles, trying to figure out what she meant.

She thought you were pretty.

“Thank you,” you tell her, “you’re really pretty too. I like your hair.”

She averts her gaze, tucking a brown lock behind her ear. It’s a normal shade of brown. Almost black. You needed a bit of normalcy in your life after what you went through.

“So—“ you lift up a menu—“what do you do?”

~

Dinner went a lot better than expected.

Underneath her shyness, Saiko was extremely sweet. She listened intently when you spoke. She was polite, never once trying to break your boundaries or push you. She was more than happy to take whatever you gave her. You appreciate that in a woman.

Conversation was easy and lasted for hours. You hadn’t realized how late it’d gotten until the two of you walked out of the restaurant underneath the black sky.

When you revealed you took the cab here, Saiko immediately offered to give you a ride back. You accepted without much fuss.

You wanted to keep the night going.

“I really enjoyed hanging out with you tonight,” you told her in the car, “it’s been a while since I’ve had fun like this.”

“I had a lot of fun too,” she admits, keeping her eyes on the road.

“This was my first date in a while.”

You perk up at that.

“Just got out of a relationship?” You can’t help but prod.

“A while ago,” she tells you, “it took a bit for me to really put myself out there, again.”

She meets your gaze, then.

“But I’m really glad I did.”

Flirt. You don’t mind.

“Me too,” you say, “I think this is my first first date in three years.”

She hummed.

“Did they cheat?”

“What?” You ask.

“Your ex,” Saiko prods, “three years is a long time. I’m guessing they must’ve done something drastic for you to walk away.”

She catches herself then, “I’m so sorry, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. I’m just nosy.” She gives an awkward laugh.

You normally don’t like talking about your last girlfriend. She brings up too many memories. Some good. Most bad.

Tonight, you’re slightly buzzed and you’re being a little less careful than usual.

“She didn’t cheat,” you assure, “If anything, she was obsessively loyal.”

Obsessed. Satoru was just obsessed. She would constantly cling onto you every time you come home. She’d text you all throughout the day. She’d get jealous anytime you talked to someone who wasn’t her. At first, you found it all extremely cute. She was smart, funny, insanely beautiful. She catered to you and only you. You thought you had the best girlfriend ever.

You thought you’d marry her someday.

But then everything started to get worse. She basically demanded your attention as soon as you got home from work, placating you to quit your job because she could take care of you. Texting turned to calls every other minute, and then frenzied texts if you didn’t pick up. Arguments would last for hours if you accidentally smiled at someone.

Your final straw was that tracker you found in your purse.

All things considered, Satoru was a walking red flag from the first day you met her. Even her friends gave it away. That doctor with zero morals and the cult leader of a best friend.

Saiko is still waiting for you to speak. You clear your throat.

“She was just…intense,” you say, “she wanted things from me I couldn’t give her. We fought a lot. The break up was really messy.”

You still remember that day. She was screaming at you, begging you not to leave her. Threats were hurled at you with zero care. You ran out of her penthouse apartment with the clothes on your back.

“You’ll come back to me,” it was the last thing she ever said to you, “I’m the only one for you. You’ll come back to me.”

She sounded so certain of it. Just remembering her words made you shiver.

“For a while after I couldn’t even look at people who resembled her. White hair. Blue eyes.”

Satoru needed help. You couldn’t fix her. She needed to fix herself. You just realized that too late.

You don’t notice how quiet Saiko got until a couple minutes later.

“Shit,” you swear, “just look at me: I’m talking about my ex on a first date.”

“It’s okay,” Saiko assures you.

A couple seconds later:

“Your ex sounds like a cunt.”

It’s the hardest you’ve ever laughed in months.

You’re still smiling when she pulls in front of your apartment. The car rolls to a stop.

You don’t make the effort to leave.

“Thanks,” you tell her again, ”for the date and this. It was really fun.”

“I’m glad you came,” she tells you.

Just when you reach for the door, she suddenly blurts something out.

“They’re fake.”

“I’m sorry?” You look at her.

She points to her blue eyes.

“Contacts,” she tells you, “I like switching things up every now and then.”

“Oh.” You relax. “What’s your real eye color?”

A coy smile grows on pretty lips. “I guess you’ll have to find out on our next date.”

You grin at that.

“I like the sound of that,” you say, “okay. Next time, then.”

Her eyes brighten. “Really?—ah” she reels herself in when she realizes how eager she sounded.

That honesty again. It’s such a breath of fresh air. For her sake, you hold in your laughter.

“Bye, Saiko.” You climb out of her car. “Text me when you get home, okay?”

She agrees, waving you off. She doesn’t leave until you’re safe in your apartment.

~

‘Best date ever’

She replays the night all the way home. Each word you spoke. Each time you laughed. She cataloged it all in your head.

Fuck, she wanted to text you so bad. Would that be too forward of her? You specifically asked her to text you but maybe you didn’t mean it like that. Was it just a formality or something more genuine?

At least, you wanted to see her again.

When she gets to her house, she decides she’ll shower first, then text you. She wants to get out of her dull clothes. She usually hates dressing up so bland but you seemed to respond well to it. She can live with that.

She kicks off her shoes, throwing her car keys in the dish.

Shoko sits on the couch, barely looking up from her phone.

“How did it go?” She finally asks.

“Good.” She beams. “So good. Everything was just perfect I—“

“That’s not what I was asking about, Gojo.”

She frowns. “It’s Ikezawa Saiko to you.”

“I’m not calling you that.”

Satoru shook her head. Okay, Saiko might not be her legal name yet, but it will be soon. Her friends should at least try to get used to it.

Suguru sits across from Shoko, looking equally as bored.

“That was really dangerous.” Satoru rolls her as as Suguru starts up her lecture again. “You’re only two months post-surgery, stressing yourself like this isn’t doing your healing any good.”

“That’s why I have one of the best doctors in the country on stand-by.” She gestures to Shoko. “Relax. I have it all under control.”

Suguru continues to stare. Satoru sighs.

“I know it was stupid…I was desperate, okay?” She hadn’t seen you in forever. She missed you.

Suguru shakes her head but doesn’t push further.

“How did it go?” She asks.

“I got a second date.” Satoru admits with a grin.

Neither look impressed.

“Right.” Shoko leans back. “So, how is this different than last time?”

“Everything’s different from last time.” Satoru stresses as she passes a mirror. She barely does a double take. She’s getting used to her new face.

Her surgeon was good. Extremely good. The weeks of covering her face in bandages were worth it. She barely recognised herself.

You thought she was a completely different person.

“I’m gonna do better, this time ” She insists, “I know I messed up before, but I’ll do better. I have to.”

The day you ran was the day everything fell apart for her. You were the only reason she ate and drank and breathed. Without you, life was pointless.

But you didn’t want her anymore. You didn’t even want to see her. You wanted a blank slate.

She could be that blank slate.

“What if you get found out?” Shoko prods.

“I won’t,” Satoru assures, “I’ll be super careful, trust me.” Her hair might pose an issue but she’ll be retouching it every 2 weeks—just before her roots show.

“No, this is very much insane,” Suguru comments, nonchalantly, as though she were discussing the weather.

“You are attempting to pull off some impossible plan that will ultimately fail. So? What then?”

Satoru balls up her fist. It won’t happen. She won’t lose you again. She’s sure of it.

But…if something does go wrong.

Well, she bought a house with a finished basement for a reason, right?

“It doesn’t matter.” She shakes her head.

She just knows that you two are finally gonna be together again—Forever, this time.

Wait, she’s forgetting something.

She rechecks herself in the mirror.