she/they

our jokes,

your laugh,

your smile,

and when i see how you've been

once in a while

i miss you all over again.

I want to meet you all over again

and catch up

talk about our journey

how in a way we've inspired each other

yet somehow probably destroyed each other

we were just hurt kids

grieving on the inside

i was naive to things I know now

about you and myself

now in the present

I watch from afar

remember how we were

and wish that we could start all over

like i've done with a friend from the past

who I let go, just like I let you go

I dont know how they wanted to talk to me again

they reminded me of all the music i've missed

how it shaped their journey

I dont deserve the grace i've been given

I dont deserve it but I'm trying to remind myself

I deserve fulfilling friendships

that love and support my journey

even if i dont know myself yet

I am trying and I hope you see

it would be to take a look around before you make those choices

i know it’s difficult when there’s all the voices surrounding you

but i am one of them too

and I am the one who’s stuck to you all along

across the ocean and close by

when you leave there’s not a dry eye

so keep making your choices

and see where you end up

I hold on to you because of not who you are 

But because of the system around you

how I loathe and crave the support you receive 

I desire from my own 

It’s a lot harder when I’m not open 

so I just go ahead and suppress my hunger and emotions 

the morning coffee 

seems to make everything a little less complicated 

but it can’t be more complicated than you

As simple as you may seem 

You’ve been playing with me for months 

So what’s the choice and how do I move forward?

I told myself it would be better but it just doesn’t sit right in my head