do what you want, god is fake

hey babe my poison tester died after drinking the wine you gave me is there anything you wanna talk about?

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

Steve Harringron in season 1 of Stranger Things is the most character. He did some bad stuff and immediately went "Aw, beans. That wasn't cool. I better go apologize" at which point The Plot he'd been blissfully unaware of for the entire show immediately tried to eat him.

dracula scuttling evilly down his castle, ass up, toes OUT: i am being so normal right now. the solicitor doesn’t suspect a thing

my favorite video game quest trope is "HELP US, THEY ARE STEALING OUR ANCIENT ARTIFACT. THANK YOU FOR HELPING US, AS A REWARD YOU MAY HAVE OUR ANCIENT ARTIFACT"

the ancient artifact was less important than having agency in its distribution

Nothing is more important than keeping it out of the hands of the British museum

on all levels except physical I am at the bottom of a swimming pool