cuteness aggression victim

the concept is as relaxing and soothing as it is creepy, of course. the idea of your mind losing its shape, becoming so loose that it can't hold its thoughts together anymore. but, by the time it becomes a bit too much, by the time it goes from a relatively normal metaphor for relaxation to a kind of body horror, it's already too late, isn't it? you're already too relaxed to think about it or fight against it. your mind has already melted too much to be useful to you. there's nothing left to do but go with the flow and enjoy it, as it gradually liquefies inside of you. even this gooey, sticky sort of sensation can feel so nice, when you're unable to think so much about it. when your mind is easy and loose. the slowness, the inevitability, the warmth creeping deeper and deeper inside, they all become something to savor, like holding a piece of chocolate in your mouth, not chewing or swallowing, just allowing the sweetness to dissipate across your tongue. perhaps you feel that same sweetness in your mind. perhaps it's melting into a kind of syrup.

As a degrader and a sadist it's so hot that some subs will be as pathetic as you want them to be... so don't fuck around with their emotions outside of that, that sub is already literally playing with and altering their emotions for your benefit and pleasure. You're overstressing the emotion muscle if you do and rest is essential to any healthy exercise.

You're not giving their feelings any time to rest and recover if you cause emotional distress outside of playtime and you're not giving them the safety and security to play with their emotions again. If you consistently play with humiliation, degradation, or other forms of psychological sadism, you need to be aware of this and plan accordingly.

Avoid big talks or heavy topics immediately after, and do things that will lift your partner's mood in the days following an intense scene even if their mood doesn't need a lift. While you can't see it, by doing that, you've essentially put an emotional ice pack on a sore muscle.

It's easy for doms to understand that some subs are turned on by embarrassment, shame, humiliation, degradation, objectification, etc. That is an easier concept to grasp. But I think that's a bit of a simplified way of putting it and a more accurate way to explain what's going on is that some subs experience embarrassment, shame, humiliation, degradation, objectification, etc from their dom and are turned on by it.

I think putting the emphasis back on the painful emotion the submissive is putting themselves through is such an important distinction that needs to be made more often. Sometimes the fact that the sub is still experiencing these very powerful negative emotions during sex or scenes (for your benefit by the way, doms) gets lost in translation when someone says "it makes me horny when you humiliate me."

But they're NOT just horny when you humiliate them, they're still also humiliated. And for those of you saying "well duh, of course" please just trust me when I say, as a dom myself who went through learning this and has helped so many other doms learn this, that most doms are absolutely not making this connection at all and that's why my post above has been reblogged a bunch of times by both doms and subs.

As a dom, what we are incorrectly assuming is that the input is 'humiliation' and the output is 'horny' based on what we see and how our sub reacts when we play like this. We are not registering that they are also still humiliated because in the moment they're acting horny. It's an easy logical error to make due to faulty observations and this mistake isn't just limited to male doms in my experience. A lot of folks from all walks of life don't quite grasp this at first. And once you do grasp this you can give better aftercare.