Nerderrific

notice how everyone is horny today

unlike adult seals, baby seals are painfully aware that they were once land mammals, and must writhe around wretchedly beneath the agonizing weight of this incongruity until they can finally be reluctantly coaxed into the waves, at which point the ocean washes their souls clean of this knowledge like the blissful waters of lethe.

PAINTING!!! THIS IS A PAINTING

CHAT THIS IS A PAINTING!!!

I went over this post twice before realising. I was like "oh it's just set up like a still life painting, right". NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!

med people are so annoying "This family's 8 year old child who was about to go through a major surgery and kept crying that she was hungry so they pitied her and gave her food, she then had a heart attack in the surgery. They're so stupid 😒" girl they didn't know that could happen or why it happens. it takes so little time to explain to them that will happen instead of telling them "no food" with no explanation 10 times

"Before surgery, your body’s reflexes that protect your airway are relaxed by anesthesia. If there’s food or liquid in your stomach, it will near certainly come back up and go into your lungs, which can cause choking, a severe lung / heart infection or even a heart attack. That’s called aspiration, and it is life-threatening. It's hard, but it's only a single day to prevent near certain death. Not eating or drinking beforehand massively lowers the risk and helps prevent these life threatening situations under anesthesia." <- TIP: patients have brains which allows them to receive information just like you

Reblogging to save a life and teach medical professionals basic communication skills

my sister and her husband go see new movies a lot and a place near the theater they go to does $5 margaritas on monday so they’ve started doing marg movie mondays where they go see a movie and get a marg but they call the margaritas different things based on what they’re seeing. as far as naming goes “wuthering margs” was a little bit of a miss for me but it was preceded by “margipliers” when we saw iron lung so thats kind of a lot to live up to

Spongebob & Patrick

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gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol