Nerderrific

he breasted the boulder boobily up the hill…

I need to stop replying to “how do you make friends in your 30s?” threads because all my answers boil down to “you have to want to know people instead of have friends” and I don’t think people wanna hear that

It’s like. People can tell if you don’t really like or connect with them. If you aren’t truly enamored with someone you will have a hard time coming up with activities to do together to deepen the friendship. Because you don’t really like that person that much.

at my local thrift warehouse where nothing’s priced and you make an offer on all the stuff you find. well i told the person at the register i’m on a budget and didn’t know if i could afford a rug i wanted and asked what they’d take for it and without missing even half a beat they said “how about a cup of blood?” then they started hopping up and down like a cheerleader and said “cup! of! blood!”

we settled on seventeen dollars cash.

Why is public sex so hot 😫😫

Climate change.

No one tells you that one day you will get older and look around and notice that 95% of ppl who own a dog should not own a dog

When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her “Why aren’t you married yet?” and she’d reply “Just lucky, I guess” which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .