land of gravestones and molehills

its actually so nauseating thinking about the things shane and ilya did on camera hoping the other was maybe possibly somewhere watching.... i like cant even discuss it. ilya going from making eye contact with reporters and winking to making exclusive eye contact with the cameras when winking. i cant talk about it. shane giving a genuine smile, small chuckle and shake of the head and then-- im sorry what was the question? thining about ilya teasing him for his answers in a post game interview. i cant even think about it. its all so sick. how many little gifts did they give each other that they didnt get to save. how many did they not even know about, never got to see. I CANT DISCUSS IT !!

dude stop before i develop a strange and powerful fondness for you

okay i’m officially rewatching heated rivalry this weekend so prepare for me to either be insufferable on main or disappear off the face of the earth

there's some actual meta tumbling around in my empty brain about the rookie hollanov's situationship dynamic and the emotional barriers they (or maybe mostly shane) puts up are followed by the physical barriers that mirror them

there's also some less cerebral meta smoothing those thoughts down in the rock tumbler they call my cranium about how every mlh player shane interacts with in the second half of the episode wants him carnally

"visual learner" this "auditory learner" that well I'm an oral learner. put it in my mouth

I don’t ✋ want to hear it’s unrealistic. Let’s talk about Shane gifting Ilya a book of boudoir photos.

medieval shane would have loved balancing his humors

shane in a nice big and soft hoodie all comfy cozy with blankets all around him laying against a pile of pillows. ilya playing with his hair with one hand and smoking a joint with the other, leaning down to blow smoke into shane’s mouth. he’s all happy and floaty and getting soooo sleepy. ilya stops hitting the joint first and starts pressing it insistently to shane’s lips, cooing at him when he starts coughing, giving him a second to recover before making him take another hit. ignoring him when shane tries to say he’s had enough. getting him perfect and pliant and loose-limbed before pulling back the blankets, opening shane up and fucking him nice and deep and slow. shane making little happy sounds, feeling held and pinned and so so so safe. after ilya comes he stays inside shane, laying on him like a weighted blanket. shane’s squirming but he knows better than to ask to come. ilya slips his arms through the loose sleeves of shane’s hoodie to run his fingers over shane’s skin, rubbing and caressing and whispering praise to him until shane drifts off to sleep.

filled with glee imagining shane and ilya invited to a world cup game and shane is just making a bitch face the entire time. arms crossed brows furrowed lips permanently in pout mode as he mutters and goes "i would've made that goal" to ilya every five minutes. every time a player goes down and is grabbing their knee in a dramatic passion shane rolls his eyes and is like "i bet that didn't even hurt" and the whole time ilya is loving it he loves his bitchy shane so much #hisbitchyshane

like i'm sorry but i believe in my heart of hearts that heated rivalry is primarily a show for old hoes (20+. in the realm of fandom) bc whenever i see someone 18 and below talk about it i get so scared like thats not for you

in the sense that it's like a reward for being put through the ringer of shit fandoms for the past 10-20 years. like when the heated rivalry fan conventions inevitably start please take the mistakes from dashcon and make it good this time

my read on the 'slow fucking hockey player' bit is that speed skating is one of the categories where shane and ilya genuinely just trade the title back and forth every season and that ilya had just happened to win fastest skater that year and he is Absolutely going to bring that up every chance he gets

guys i liedddddd 😭😭😭😭😭 i actually want it 😭😭😭 i want it so bad 😭😭😭😭 i want it so bad its ruining my life 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭