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pairing: lee donghyuck | nct haechan x reader
word count: 18.5k
genre: university au, getting together, smut, fluff, angst
summary: in which you're an exchange student and donghyuck teaches you the essential korean phrases you need, and eventually how to fall in love with him
tag list: @smwhrinthehaze @byungbyungbaek @sundamariis @thiccfullsun @yesohhsehun @haechoshi @najmnluvr @liz-zo @heyitsconysstuff @magicastle @novawon @gaeulswrld
authorโs note: Iโm so sorry it took so long, but here it is! I imagine conversations with everyone in Korean, except for Mark! ๐ I imagine the conversations with Mark in English. I also have 0 knowledge with the Korean language except from the common phrases every Kpop fan knows lol. So please bare with me and feel free to correct me! ^^ Please also consider tipping me if you want to! NCT Dream is coming to my country this April and Iโd love to see them if I could :) TIP ME HERE.
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๋ ์จ๊ฐ ์ถ์ (nalssiga chuwo) โ the weather is cold
The rain is pouring when you arrive in Incheon.ย
Itโs not as harsh as it is where you come from, but the February breeze still makes you shiver and curse under your breath, and while youโre wallowing and pouting over the fact that your first day in South Korea is not going as well as you wanted, Mark is chirpyโa little too happy for your liking.ย
Of course, Mark is happy. Your bitterness over the weather is not going to spoil his energy, the exact same oneโmaybe strongerโhe has had over the past couple of weeks, counting down the days heโd be back in Seoul, finally. Mark has told you that it had been over a decade since he last visited South Korea, and the Student Exchange Program from your university had been the best opportunity for him to come back after so long, too long. The stupid smile on his face somehow makes you feel better, especially when he jumps from his seat when he sees his childhood friend walk towards your area.ย
Renjun is handsome like the picture that Mark sent you a week before your flight to South Korea, but it feels a little unfair that heโs even more attractive in person. His voice sounds like honey and the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles as he approaches you and Mark.ย
They jump into a tight, dramatic hug that makes a few other people in the waiting area look, but the boys donโt care. Mark lifts Renjun up from the ground, itโs almost embarrassing. The sight makes you feel warm. You wonder how Mark feels.ย
It must be amazing, you think, to finally meet someone youโve been longing to see. Mark had always expressed his yearning for the placeโthe people, the friends he always had to leave behind when visiting during summerโand it makes you wonder how it feels like to have friends and family away from you.ย
Evidently, this is your first time to be away from home. You live (or used to at this point) in a dormitory, a two-minute walk to the campus, a good hour away from home, but you always went home whenever you craved for your motherโs dishes. Youโve never considered living away from home. Sure, you had plans to move out eventually, but not in a different time zone, not in an entirely different culture.ย Mark, on the other hand, is frequently moving around, dragging his suitcase from place to place, leaving people behind and promising heโd come back when he can.
Born in Canada, Mark had been to more places that you could count, but he has told you many times that nowhere else feels like home, like Seoul. Heโs told you many stories of the time his family lived there for a few years before going back to Canada, of his annual visits in the summer, and of his devastation when life had caught up with him that he had to stop visiting when he turned eleven.ย
You remember his voice, its tone and emotion, when he called you a couple of months ago, informing you of the exchange program that the universityโs administration had posted on the studentsโ corner, and how fucking amazing it would be if you could sign up with him.ย
โIt would be a good addition to your credentials,โ he had told you. โItโs not going to be for a long time, a semester at least. And we have the option to stay the whole academic year if we wanted to! Plus, I already know a lot of people there. Weโll be fine!โ
โI donโt know, Mark,โ you had answered, feigning hesitation, even when you knew deep down that Mark had already convinced you by the tone of his voice when he revealed the news. โIโve never been that far away from home. Remember when we went camping in ninth grade? I cried. For three whole days. Iโm not going to survive a semester. Besides, I know not a single Korean word.โ
โCome on, Y/N,โ he had begged. โThink about it. Youโll be with me the entire time. If we pass the screening, the program will sign us up for free Hangul lessonsโthough, letโs be honest, I donโt really need it.โ
โWhy do you have to bring me anyway?โ you had asked out of curiosity.
โBecause I know youโll love it there,โ he had answered. โYour obsession with studying culture and languages will be satisfied because there is no better way to learn a culture than experiencing the whole thing with your best friend!โ
You remember humming in response, as if youโre thinking deeply about it. Mark sighed on the other line, his words making you laugh and finally agree.ย
โThe chances of Mom letting me go is bigger when I tell her youโre coming with me,โ he had admitted. Mark, upon hearing your agreement to his proposal, began listing out the places he would take you. The phone call lasted for three more hours and it had seemed like Mark already had an entire plan in his head before he even asked you if you would go with him.ย
Passing the program had been easy and so was acquiring your visa. What was truly the pain in the ass, you admit, is learning the damn language. You salute Mark for being able to speak Korean so fluently, but heโs shit at teaching you and you had to rely on the free lessons you had taken every weekend and your favorite language mentor, Lee Minho in Legend of the Blue Sea.ย Your Korean is awful. Your tongue is a little too short, too stiff, for said language, and the situation almost makes you back out of the entire program and ditch Mark.ย
But here you are, still shit at Korean, but standing among hustling people and waiting for your best friend to wrap up the moment heโs sharing with his long-time friend. Renjun finally catches your eyes as you awkwardly watch them on the side, your backpack becoming heavier each second youโre standing on the airport tiles. He pulls away from Mark, smiling, beaming towards you and offers a handshake.ย
โHwang Renjun,โ he introduces. You remember their last names go first here. โNice to meet you.โ
It almost startles you when he speaks English. Mark forgot to mention his friend is fluent, you think.ย
You tell him your name, voice smaller than it usually is, and express your relief that he speaks English.ย
โIโm originally not from here either,โ he explains. โIโm Chinese. My family had to move here before I could even properly pronounce words for my Dadโs work. Went to an international school, where I met Mark back in second grade.โ
So, heโs cute and multilingual. How unfair.
โAnd Iโd love to chat longer,โ he says, switching to Korean now, before you can even respond. โBut Hyuck is waiting in his car. We could talk on our way to your dormitory. For now, letโs go. Hyuck hates waiting.โ
โHyuck drove? What happened to your car?โ Mark asks, helping you with your luggage and pushing the cart himself. Renjun insists to carry your backpack, and he had already gently pulled it from your shoulder before you could refuse.
Mark and Renjun talk about Hyuck, both switching to speaking Korean now, on their way out of the arrival area and it doesnโt take long for them to spot their friendโs car outside. The rain had stopped pouring by the time youโre settling yourselves inside their friendโs car. The second you settle yourself on the leather seat, you sigh in relief. Traveling is a lot more exhausting than you had initially thought.ย
Renjun sits on the passenger seat, right beside Hyuck, you assume, and Mark settles himself beside you.
โMark Lee,โ Hyuck greets, looking at Mark through the rearview mirror. โA pleasure to finally meet you.โ
It takes you a second to understand what he said. Itโs only then that you realize you really are in Korea.ย
โLee Donghyuck,โ Mark responds in the same tone. โYouโre real. Iโm happy to see you in person and not just through Facetime. I want to hug you.โ
โAm I better looking in person?โ Hyuck teases. โHug me when weโre at your dormitory. Iโll even kiss you on the lips if you want to.โ
โDisgusting,โ Mark grimaces. โBy the wayโโ He turns his attention to you the same time Hyuck begins driving. โThis is Y/N.โ
Hyuck only smiles, nodding a little to you through the rearview mirror, brushing his brown hair using his fingers to fix it up. Renjun begins to ask how the flight was and Mark replies. All three boys strike up a conversation in Korean and it was all too much, too fast, for you to catch up and understand anything, so you stay quiet on your seat, leaning against the window, and begin to wonder how things will go for the entire spring semester youโll be spending in this foreign city.ย
Mark never told you that the drive from Incheon to Seoul is long, so far that you didnโt even realize you had fallen asleep.ย When you arrive at the dormitory, itโs past six in the afternoon and Markโs friends ask kindly if you want to go out for dinner. Politely and quite incoherently, you tell them that youโd like to stay. Mark insists on staying home with you and unpacking your belongings, but you urge him to go, spend some time with his friends and walk around. Mark hesitates, but agrees nonetheless, promising he will come back in an hour.
The place the program had picked for you and Mark is not that bad. Itโs nothing like home, but itโs not bad.ย It makes you wonder how Mark does it. You remember not being able to sleep on the first few nights on your dormitoryโs bed when you were a freshman. Mark had never told you if heโs had trouble adapting to places heโs been. Maybe you could ask him in the morning.ย
The exhaustion hits you again upon entering one of the rooms. Room assignment is yet to be decided, but Mark wouldnโt mind if you sleep on one of the beds while heโs out. And so, you sleep.ย
You donโt remember what you dream of. And Mark wakes you at seven in the morning, reminding you that you had to unpack and go grocery shopping. Momentarily, you forget where you are. It hits you the same way it does in his friendโs car. Youโre in a different country. A different language. A different time zone.ย
It doesnโt feel like home at all even though itโs cold. But you guess youโll have to make it work. At least until the semester ends.ย
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์ฝ์ํด์ (yagsoghaeyo) โ I promise
When Mark told you he knew a lot of people in Seoul, you shouldโve known he was bluffing because he literally knew only seven people.
Mark Leeโs friends are warm and loud and somehow you feel out of place when they all decide to hangout where you and Mark are. Itโs the first week of the semester, and you have completed all the orientation and tour you need; Mark, on the other hand, is still catching up with everyone.
By everyone, he meant Kevin Moon, a senior who is also Markโs cousinโs long-distance boyfriend who happens to be studying in SNU too, Hwang Renjun from Natural Sciences, Lee Donghyuck from Music, Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin from Engineering and Architecture, Zhong Chenle from Humanities, and Park Jisung from Business Administration. Which is why every day, for the past five days, youโre at a place called Arcade, with Mark and two or three people from their group.
It turns out Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin were Markโs friends from childhood, the others are friends by extension.
Huang Renjun, you understand why Mark is closest to him among all. Heโs soft all over but sharp in the mouth. Renjun, you learn, likes to talk about life and likes to give people advice when they need it. Heโs reserved with other people but is the complete opposite when heโs with his friends.
Lee Jeno is shy. He normally joins the group after his internship at a construction corporation in the outskirts of Seoul, which is why you havenโt really seen him muchโonly twice. You havenโt had that many conversations with him yet, but heโs kind enough to pass you the ketchup when he sees you staring at it from the end of the table.
Zhong Chenle and Park Jisung are best friends. Thereโs not a day that you have not seen either without the other, kind of reminds you of how you and Mark are. They join whenever one is availableโtwo peas in a pod.
Na Jaemin is the closest with Lee Donghyuck. You see them talking in their bubble more frequently than the others. Jaemin is mysterious and a little coldโthe complete opposite of Lee Donghyuck.
Lee Donghyuck, well, youโve got a lot to say about him.
It isnโt necessarily an uncomfortable feeling, because Markโs friends are kind enough to slow down when they talk to you and are quite protective of you, especially when a random stranger bravely comes up to you to introduce themselves. Lee Donghyuck, in particular, whoโs as warm as the sun touching your skin at nine in the morning and whose voice is careful and assuring, ensures that youโre never out of placeโeven when you feel it all the time. From the day the semester started, there hasnโt been a day when Donghyuck isnโt hanging out with you and Mark at Arcade.
Mark normally picks you up from class because thank God your schedules are aligned to each other despite having different majors. The College of Social Sciences is quiet, unlike the building right beside you, College of Music, and Mark usually takes five minutes to find you, because you canโt trust yourself to walk around on your ownโat least not yet. But today, Mark asked if you could meet Kevin first because his girlfriend had something for him from Canada.
โHyungseo!โ You hear someone call, making you look up from your phone to see Kevin walking towards you. He stops and turns around, a girl youโve seen around the college of social sciences once or twice running towards him.
โDonโt forget to bring the laminated cards we need for Friday!โ the lady shouts. Kevin gives her a thumbs up and turns back to you.
โY/N, right?โ he asks in English. You nod. He offers a hand. โIโm sorry we havenโt met personally yet. But Iโm Kevin.โ
โShe called you Hyungseo, though,โ you trail off, accepting the handshake anyway. โIโve seen your pictures from Giselleโs phone, so I knew it was you.โ
He laughs. โHyungseoโs my Korean name. You shouldโve packed her with you.โ
You reach for your bag and hand him the box thatโs been sitting in your backpack all day. โHere,โ you say. โNo plans on visiting sometime soon?โ
Kevin sighs. โI wish I could,โ he answers. โItโs not as easy as we thought.โ
โYou guys sound okay though,โ you comment. โI mean, Giselle always sounds so happy when she talks about you back home.โ
This makes Kevin smile. โOh, she does?โ
โWhy would she think of getting you a gift all the way from home if sheโs not?โ you ask, biting your tongue as soon as the words come out. โSorry, I shouldnโt ask.โ
โLetโs talk about this over some soju when you find a dude you want to spend the rest of your life with here,โ he jokes. โThanks for bringing this. You and Mark have been so busy; heโs been declining all my invitations to hangout.โ
You sigh, โYeah. Itโs only the first week and there are lot of things we had to do. Iโll ask him if we can hang out on the weekend?โ
Kevin agrees and hands his phone to you, asking to put your number so he could call you. You do and tell him youโre grateful you could talk to someone in English aside from Mark and bid him goodbye when he leaves. You shoot Mark a text, telling him youโll be waiting for him and that Kevinโs dropped by to get his gift from Giselle.
Hence, you wait outside, busying yourself with your phone, trying to avoid any interaction as much as you can, and you donโt notice Donghyuck standing beside you until he taps your shoulder and gives you a warm smile.
โMark is running late,โ he says slowly. โLetโs go to Arcade together.โ
You smile at Donghyuckโs attempt to pronounce Arcade how you would and nod at him. He leads the way out of the building, his backpack on one shoulder, and asks you how your classes are so far.
โItโs okay,โ you answer because itโs all you can think of. โThank God my professor in Psychology speaks English.โ
Donghyuck hums. โIt must be difficult for you.โ
โIt is,โ you confess.
Among everyone you have met so far, Donghyuck gives you the feeling of comfort; youโre not exactly the most outgoing person nor the leastโyou were in between. You were okay with that. And you were okay that Donghyuck is okay with that, too. He doesnโt push you to speak more (probably because he knows you most likely do not know how to say whatever you had in mind), but can be very persuasive when thereโs a hint that youโre relaxed.
Lee Donghyuck is bold and charming and amiable like nobody youโve ever known. Normally, or at least with how youโre used to, people are a little more reserved around people they just met. And culturally speaking, you didnโt expect Donghyuck to be so forward and already so comfortable hanging out with you, what more with having conversations like this.
โDonโt worry, though,โ he assures. โYouโll be fine. Youโre here for about six months, anyway. I promise itโll be the best six months of your college years.โ
Heโs also bright like thisโoptimistic and kind and assuring. Youโre glad Mark is friends with people like him, with Donghyuck.
โDonโt make promises you canโt keep,โ you try to say, a phrase Mark taught you the other night. โDid I say that right?โ
Donghyuck giggles, stopping and reaching up to ruffle your hair. โYouโre absolutely adorable.โ
โThat, I am,โ you joke back, more comfortable around him now.
โI promise,โ he says. โItโll be so good; you wouldnโt want to go back to Canada.โ
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ํ๊ตญ๋ง ์ ๋ชปํด์ (hangugmal jal moshaeyo) โ I donโt speak Korean well | ์ฃฝ์๋ (jug-eullae) โ Do you want to die?
Donghyuck turns out to be a better teacher than Lee Minho and Mark Lee combined. He gifts you a small, pocket-friendly notebook, asking you to keep it for the rest of your stay, notably commenting that the materialโs size will allow you to bring it everywhere you go. Hence, the tiny, brown faux leather notebook is safely tucked between your necessities inside your bag.
The first sentence he teaches you turns out to be the most essential: I donโt speak Korean well.
Donghyuck takes you to a cafรฉ called 7 Days, an entirely different vibe compared to Arcade. You donโt question Donghyuck when he puts an arm on your shoulder as you walk together inside the cafรฉ, but he asks you right away when he must have felt you stiffen from the touch: โIs this okay?โ
โYes,โ you answer quietly.
Donghyuck smiles warmly at you. โHere, have a look around and Iโll get you something to drink before we decide what we want to eat. I have the perfect drink for you!โ
He goes before you could say anything. You look and realize that the cafรฉ is not so bad. Its aesthetic is the complete opposite of what Arcadeโs going forโcozy, serene, almost like a good place to study or sleep in, whatever you need to survive the dayโand the Biscoff latte is bomb, you donโt think you can drink latte differently now.
Conversations with Donghyuck could, well, unfortunately, go only where your limit is. Heโs fun and likes to tell a lot of stories, but itโs always interrupted with you asking what a word means and him pulling up his phone and have his translation app say it for you. He makes jokes that you regrettably do not understand, but Donghyuck doesnโt take it to the heart and only says: โBy the end of the term, youโll be saying these jokes to Mark Lee.โ
Donghyuck excuses himself to go to the toilet about an hour later and allows you a few minutes by yourself, which you happily spend taking pictures of the interior of the cafรฉ. You sigh when you realize you didnโt take a picture of the Biscoff latte when it was full and pretty. Someone taps you on the shoulder, and it could only be Donghyuck, so you turn with a smile.
โI forgot to take a picture of the drinkโOh.โ Itโs not Donghyuck. โIโm sorry, how can I help you?โ you ask politely.
The man towers over you and he smiles warmly. Your cheeks flush when he does, because you probably mispronounce each syllable from that sentence. โIโm Sanha.โ
You bow courteously, still have 0 idea why the man is talking to you.
โI donโt see you around often,โ he says. โAnd Iโm here, like, almost all the time unless I have a class. My dad owns the place. How do you like it so far?โ
โItโsโฆ okay,โ you say. Sanha chuckles, and your face is hot you probably look like a red potato now. โI mean, not just okay, I just canโt find the words toโโ
He takes Donghyuckโs seat. โI can teach you,โ he offers. โWe can meet up here, andโโ
Donghyuck calls your name, voice firm and monotonous like never before. โItโs getting late. Mark texted me to take you home early because Chenleโs making dinner at your place.โ
You look at Sanha apologetically, still unable to reply properly so you only say, โIโm sorry.โ
Donghyuck doesnโt give you the chance to say anything more because heโs already helping you out of your seat, turning you around so you could start walking towards the door, pushing you until youโre out of the cafรฉ.
You hear him sigh as you walk away from the cafรฉ, arm around your shoulder like how you entered the place.
โY/N, my sweet pea,โ he softly says. โPlease donโt to talk strangers.โ
You shrug, โItโs not like I could just ignore him when he was already taking you space.โ
He scoffs. โWhen strangers start talking to you and being all brave and upfront, you tell them: I donโt speak Korean well. Then just start hitting them with English words and exaggerate your accent. Thatโs how Mark Lee tries to avoid conversations with girls sometimes because heโs a loser and women make him nervous.โ
โI donโt speak Korean well,โ you repeat, slowly pronouncing each syllable.
โWhereโs the notebook I asked you to bring everywhere?โ Donghyuck asks. โWrite that down.โ
You nod and tell him youโd do it later. Donghyuck leads the way towards the stop just in time for the bus thatโs about to leave. You and him hop in, taking the seats in the back, giggling when Donghyuck almost topples over as soon as the bus starts to move. He lets you sit by the window and starts telling you about how his sister always fights him to get the window seat and heโs never won so he naturally just gives people the said seat.
Youโre nearby the next stop when you ask him: โDonghyuck, what if I tell people I donโt speak Korean well and they wouldnโt stop bothering me?โ
Donghyuck looks nice in his brown, fluffy jacket, face bare, his eyeglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks even nice whenever he smiles like this.
โY/N, do you know how cute you are?โ An answer you donโt expect. โYouโre so cute when you ask questions like this. I want to put you in my pocket.โ
โDonghyuck,โ you sigh, expecting a serious answer.
He reaches up to pat your head. โYou wonโt have to worry because we wonโt let you be on your own unless you ask us to stay away. Especially me. Not me. Iโll make sure to take care of you and Mark while the two of you are here.โ
You nod, still not satisfied with the answer. The Sanha situation awhile ago makes you realize how helpless youโd be if you werenโt with Mark or any of his friends. Donghyuck probably notices your dissatisfaction when he feels like youโre sulking, which you definitely are, because he chuckles and pokes your cheek to get your attention again.
โIf it makes you feel better,โ he says. โYou could always ask them if they want to die.โ
โThatโs mean!โ you gasp.
โOr tell them to fuck off,โ he shrugs.
โDonghyuck!โ
โWhat?โ he asks. โItโs not like I donโt hear you and Mark say โfuck youโ to each other every day.โ
You laugh at that. โSaying it in Korean hits different.โ
โRight!โ Donghyuck agrees. โIโve been telling people saying fuck you in Korean has more impact than in any other language. I can say the word fuck every day.โ
โYou kiss your mother with that mouth?โ you joke.
Donghyuck coos. โOh, Iโm so proud of you. Youโre cracking jokes now.โ
The bus halts at your stop, and Donghyuck helps you up by taking your hand the way heโs helping you learn the language. Itโs only when youโve reached the street to the apartment you share with Mark that you realized youโve been holding hands all the way from the bus stop.
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์ ์๋ฌ์ง ์์ด์ (jeo alleoji iss-eoyo) โ Iโm allergic โDo you not understand what you just did, Mark Lee?โ you ask in disbelief.
Itโs only a month into your stay in Seoul, and Mark does the dumbest thing ever. Mark Lee comes home with a pet cat.
There were three rules for the spring semester, three very specific and very easy rules: one, to always text each otherโs location as soon as you step foot outside of the apartment (which you and him are constantly compliant about; you love Mark Lee for that); two, to never skip a class unless youโre sick (youโre only here until July; Mark decided heโs not wasting a single day in Seoul, even if it means going to classes on time and by schedule without fail); and lastly, donโt keep things you wonโt be able to take back home.
Mark had said that these rules are specifically for you because rule number one ensures your safety, rule number ensures you get the real Korean education experience, and rule number three apparently ensures youโre not leaving anything important at the airport when you leaveโwhich now you think is bullshit. The rules are more for him than you, but you love Mark Lee, and itโs not like the cat isnโt cute.
โBut, Y/N,โ Mark pouts. โShe kept on staring at me with these eyes when Renjun was busy comparing brands of dog treats. It was like her eyes were calling me, asking me to take her home!โ
The calico cat is a baby; Mark said itโs not even five months old yet. Itโs the last from seven siblings, the last one to be adopted (and you think Mark is only telling you this to convince you this is a good idea. She jumps out from Markโs lap and goes to you, staring at you first before settling herself on your lap.
โShe loves you already!โ Mark comments.
You sigh. โMark. You know we canโt take her home, right? Weโre leaving in like, five months.โ
โWhich means I have five months to convince our friends to adopt her while Iโm in Canada!โ he answers enthusiastically, his eyes almost sparkling with the way heโs talking. โI couldnโt just leave her there. My heart wouldnโt allow me to leave without her!โ
โFine,โ you give up. โDonโt cry on me on the plane back home when we leave her.โ
Mark chuckles. โI think I should be more worried about you crying on the plane back home.โ
Someone knocks on your door before you can ask what he means by that. Itโs Mark who stands and welcome the person, and of course, itโs Donghyuck.
Itโs Saturday. Saturday means Donghyuck comes and hangs out at your place because he no longer has to work in the university library on the weekends. Heโd quit, saying his big mouth isnโt fit for the library, and had asked the school administration to reassign him to another facility. Part of his scholarship is to work at least 16 hours a week in one of the universityโs facilities. Heโs paid, of course, but Donghyuck says heโs not paid enough to keep his mouth shut for 16 hours a week. The admin asked for a week to figure out where heโd be assigned next, so he had this entire weekend all to himself, which, to how it looks like now, heโd decided to spend with you and Mark.
Mark lets Donghyuck in. The latterโs smile falters when he sees you; he only gives you a curt nod. And itโs not like youโre expecting Donghyuck to cuddle you on the couch, alright? Itโs just that, youโve known each other for a month now, and have hung out together a handful of timesโjust the two of youโand he called you yesterday telling you heโd come hangout with you and Mark for the weekend, even said something about teaching you to play Apex if you have the energy for it. And itโs not like heโs obligated to come sit beside you as soon as he enters your apartment, but youโre confused when he sits on the single couch far away from you, stance uncomfortable and his face looking like heโd rather be elsewhere.
Markโs voice fades away when he asks Donghyuck what their plans are, to which Donghyuck answers: โIโm actually just here to say hi. Iโm leaving in a bit.โ
โNo way,โ Mark protests.
โOr we could go out?โ Donghyuck offers.
โUh-uh,โ Mark refuses. โY/N has been excited all morning to see you. Youโre not going to disappoint her today.โ
โI didnโt say anythingโโ You try to say, but couldnโt translate what you want to say quick enough. โDonghyuck obviously doesnโt want to be here.โ
Over the course of a month living in Seoul, you and Donghyuck had grown closer more than anyone. It would be ridiculous to deny Donghyuckโs seemingly unceasing affection towards you, and in the same manner, it would be a lie if youโd say youโre not enjoying all the attention heโs been giving you. Above the flirty and friendly advances he makes (but never crossing the line), Donghyuck has grown to be a good friend. During the first couple of weeks, you would refer to him as Markโs friend; itโs safe you say youโre friends with him now.
Donghyuckโs decided to pick you up from the college of Social Sciences, convincing Mark that his building is literally next to yours and that a ten-minute walk to Arcade with you is not going to hurt himโMarkโs been walking with you for many years anyway, he would mumble under his breath, close enough for you to hear but distant enough for you to understand what he truly means. Hence, with the growing friendship you have with him, you wonder what you had done this time.
โItโs not like that,โ Donghyuck answers the question you had in mind, both hands raised in defense. You raise an eyebrow. โThat.โ
Donghyuck points at your lap, Markโs unnamed cat sleeping soundly now. Oh.
โIโm allergic,โ he explains. โI canโt be around one within like a five-meter radius otherwise, I would, like, you know, die.โ
โYouโre exaggerating,โ Mark comments. โAre you really?โ
โYeah,โ Donghyuck confirms. โThe allergens are getting to me. My throat is starting to close up. I have to leave now.โ
This startles you and Mark, the latter quickly taking the calico cat from your lap and quickly taking it to his room. You reckon the catโs allergens are all over you so you sit as far away as you can from Donghyuck.
โItโs fine,โ he assures, but he already looks like heโs choking. โItโs not that serious. They usually just give me allergic rashes and kind of triggers my asthma. So, weโre good.โ
โBut you have a dog!โ you remark. โYou never told me youโre allergic to cats!โ
He chuckles, โWell, you learn something every day.โ
โThere are some anti-histamine tablets from the cupboard,โ you point out, still seated where you are. โI probably have allergens on my hands; please go get yourself one.โ
Donghyuck does what heโs told, taking one and opening the fridge to get himself a bottle of water. You tell him youโre changing your clothes and ask him to wait up, offering to go out and have a meal with him instead.
Mark knocks on your door a couple of minutes later, finding you dressed up, a knowing smile playing on his lips. โDonghyuck said heโd wait outside. You look nice.โ
โI know I look nice,โ you say as you go back to your vanity to throw whatever youโd need for the day in your small dumpling bag, including a box of Benadryl. โYouโre not coming with us because you have cat all over you.โ
Mark chuckles, leaning against the doorframe. โDonghyuck literally told me the same thing. Heโs growing on you,โ
You only hum in response, checking your bag for the last time before walking towards the door where Mark Lee is still leaning on, the same smirk playing on his lips still plastered.
โWhat?โ you ask.
Mark doesnโt say anything, but he raises and shows you his right hand, sticking three fingers up.
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
๋จน์์ต๋๋ค (meog-eossseubnida) - The meal was good.
Seoul National Universityโs library is as quiet as it can be; itโs almost scary how the only sounds youโd only hear are the faint sounds of pages being flipped and pens gliding on notepads, and the eerie echoes of the tension coming from students who are either cramming on an assignment or jumping from one subject to another in hopes of getting everything they read retained in their head.
Donghyuck used to tell you this is the exact reason why he didnโt like working at the library. Itโs too quiet but too loud at the same time. You chuckle at the memory of him telling you anecdotes of his short-lived employment in the library and wonder how different it is being the soccer teamโs laundry guy. Heโs probably pouting all the way from the beginning of his shift until the end.
โHere,โ Jung Sungchan disrupts your thoughts, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. โI found these, maybe it could help bridge the gap weโre struggling on.โ
You and Sungchan are paired up for a two-week long assignment for one of your major subjects. The objective was to present a summarized and substantial report on the welfare state, and you think Sungchan must have tripped on all the bad luck in his life to have been paired up with someone who couldnโt speak Korean that well, because, well, the books they had are mostly in Korean. If speaking and understanding Korean is a struggle for you, reading the damn language is hell.
โThis is a good thing,โ Sungchan assures. โThere are resources online that are mostly in English. We can combine everything we find and construct the report from there!โ
You nod and hand over the book youโre reading before he arrived, explaining that you found a chapter that could be very helpful. The boy fires up his laptop and starts accessing the website your professor had recommended you to use.
Sat side by side, you and Sungchan study in silence, except for when he asks you to read an article for him and explain what it means. The session lasts for hours, thank God you and him didnโt have classes for the rest of the day, and within those hours of studying with Sungchan, you canโt help but notice the looks you were getting anytime someone passes by the two of you.
Itโs no secret that Jung Sungchan is probably one of the most attractive men in the university. Heโs tall and has skin thatโs as clear as a day in summer, smile that could swoon a lot of people off their feet, broad shoulders thatโs probably carrying the entire hockey team for this yearโs seasonโand yes, it doesnโt help the fact that Jung Sungchan is the most popular jock at the moment, apparently for hard carrying the team to win last yearโs trophy, ending Seoul National Universityโs 10-year drought and awakening the schoolโs love for sports back. And you think itโs quite unfair that people like him exist. Because you would expect that heโs an asshole who doesnโt care about his grades because heโs essentially SNUโs hero at the moment, but heโs not. Jung Sungchan, you learn, takes his degree in Social Sciences very seriously.
And itโs evident with the way his eyebrows are furrowed as he reads the tenth book he found from the shelves.
โI think this part makes more sense now,โ he points out, leaning closer so he could show you the article heโs reading. โIn residual regimes, welfare-seeking units are primarily family and market. On the other hand, in the institutional welfare regime, the function of providing welfare belongs directly to the state.โ
โBut countries with different social conditions and lifestyles should have differed in terms of welfare states,โ you argue. โWe have to consider that the development of industrialization and production growth could be very different from one country to another.โ
Sungchan hums. โGood point. Perhaps we can find more of that from Wilensky and Lebauxโs work. Do you have the book over there?โ
You nod and hand him the book. Just as Sungchan flips the book open, Mark occupies the seat across you.
โWeโve been calling you,โ Mark whispers to you, then turning to look at Sungchan. โHey, man. Mark. Y/Nโs best friend.โ
Sungchan gives him a polite nod before going back to the book. You raise an eyebrow at Mark and slip your phone from the pocket of your backpack and find all the missed calls from him, Renjun, and Donghyuck.
โMy phoneโs been on silent for like, I donโt know, four hours,โ you tell him, slipping your phone back to your back. โAnd I texted you Iโd be at the library.โ
โYeah, like four hours ago,โ he answers. โI didnโt think youโd really stay here for four hours. Anywayโโ Mark pulls out a lunch bag and slides it across the table. โDonghyuck made this for you. He figured youโd be hungry.โ
Itโs only then that it hit you. The last meal you had was that bagel you had for breakfast on the way to school, which you had seven or eight hours ago.
โMy sweet Donghyuckie,โ you coo, thankful for his thoughtfulness. โThanks, Mark. Sungchan and I will share because weโll be here until we finish at least the structure of the report.โ
โItโs getting late though,โ Mark points out.
Sungchan clears his throat. โI can drive you home.โ
โGreat!โ Mark exclaims, which earns him multiple shushes from the other students studying. โSorry. Great!โ he says again, in a whisper this time.
Mark bids goodbye to you and offers a handshake to Sungchan, telling him heโll see him often in the next two weeks or for as long as you and him are paired-up on your major subjects. Sungchan gives him one last assurance youโll be home safe.
You ask Sungchan to take a break and open the lunch bag. Inside it are two bento boxes full of food, too much for one person, and you donโt take another minute to wait. Sungchan must have been hungry too, because he doesnโt refuse when you offer the other half of your meal to him.
Youโre not really sure how much longer you and Sungchan stay in the library, but as soon as youโve finalized the structure of the report and have agreed on assigned topics, he suggests that you and him go home and meet up again on Friday so you can start assembling the presentation. And as promised, Sungchan drives you home, glad when he realized your apartment is only ten minutes away from his.
Itโs already ten in the evening when you reach home. Markโs probably already sleeping, you think when you donโt see any light peaking from smallest of the small space between his door and the floor. Itโs late anyway, and you donโt really have much energy to tell him about your day like you always do. In fact, you donโt even have the energy to shower anymore, and because you donโt like sleeping on your bed with your outside clothes, you opt to sleep on the couch tonight.
The last thing you do is shoot Donghyuck a text message: โThe meal was good.โ
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
์ผ๊ฐ๊ด๊ณ (sam-gak-kwan-gae) โ love triangle
Jung Sungchan invites you watch to one of his preliminary games the day after you completed the report with him. Mark teasingly tells you that you have boys wrapped around your finger not even two months living in Seoul. You deny the claims, of course, because Sungchan is nothing but a good friend and you donโt see him as anything more.
Donghyuck is the first person you think of when Sungchan gives you two spare tickets for the game, and you like to think that itโs only because you donโt want Mark teasing you and accusing you of romance all afternoon, and also because Donghyuck has a car and Mark is a shit navigator so you canโt trust him to commute with you from the university to the indoor arena where the game is being held.
SNUโs team wins, of course, and you proudly cheer for Sungchan, which earns you a side eye from Donghyuck. You shrug it off and pretend that you didnโt see.
โCan we go now?โ Donghyuck asks, bored, when people start leaving the arena.
You shake your head. โSungchan asked me to wait for him after the game.โ
โYou know that barbecue place I told you weโd go to?โ Donghyuck reminds. โWe can go thereโโ
Your phone rings. Itโs Sungchan. Donghyuck sighs.
โCongratulations, nerd!โ is the first thing you tell him. Sungchan thanks you, laughing from the other end of the call, and apologizes that he can no longer meet you because the teamโs been hogging him the second they won the round.
โItโs fine,โ you assure. โIโm with Donghyuck, anyway. Iโll see you at school?โ
โNo, no,โ Sungchan answers. โThereโs a small celebration party at Shotaroโs house. Itโs a twenty to thirty-minute drive from your apartment. Iโll send you the location. Go there.โ
Sungchan hangs up, and not even a second later, you receive a text from him, a location pinned on the message. You show the message and pout at Donghyuck, and heโs looking at you all bored, rolling his eyes, before nodding and taking your hand so you and him could leave the arena.
The drive to the place takes about an hour from the arena, and you spend it singing along to Michael Jacksonโs songs.
โYou have a really nice voice,โ you comment. Donghyuck laughs.
โBaby,โ he says. โI wouldnโt be pursuing a career in music if I had a shitty voice.โ
The nickname gives you a flush, and you could only hope Donghyuck wouldnโt notice.
Almost two months into meeting Lee Donghyuck, you find yourself unable to keep your heartbeat down whenever he does things like thisโcalling you nicknames, randomly showing up in places where you are just to say hi, holding your hand, texting and calling you every day, spending his weekends and times off with you, and doing simple and domestic things for youโand your heart tells you itโs okay. Thereโs nothing wrong with a whirlwind romance in Seoul. Donghyuck doesnโt ever hesitate, and the fact that youโre holding back means you really like him. But the rational part of you says itโs not really a good idea to be in a situationship with someone who will most likely forget you as soon as you go back to Canada, and you canโt afford a heartache from miles away. Besides, Donghyuck probably isnโt that serious with whatever thatโs going on.
Rumors say (by rumors, you mean Chenle and Jisung) that Donghyuck is the type of guy who dates one girl after another. Because heโs bold and charming and amiable and likes to expand his choices, and he finds that thereโs nothing wrong with dating as long as he doesnโt date multiple women at the same time. You havenโt really seen him out on a date since you had met him. Rumor (Chenle) says that heโs been single since fall of last year and had committed to stay single this year because of the messy breakup and also because heโs on his last year of college, heโd need to focus on stepping up his game if he wants entertainment companies to fight over him as soon as he starts looking for agencies after graduation. Another rumor (Jisung) says heโs rejected many women who have tried to sleep with him since news broke that Lee Donghyuck is newly single. The rumor says heโs as popular as Jung Sungchan when it comes to women, which, if youโre being honest, gives you some kind of pedestal to walk hand-in-hand with him in the university grounds. You realize now that you get the same look from women when youโre with Donghyuck like the stares you got whenever you and Sungchan are stuck in the library for hours of studying.
The only difference is that, well, you like that people stare at you with a hint of jealousy whenever youโre with Donghyuck.
โWhy havenโt you invited me to your gigs?โ you ask before you could even think about it. โSungchanโs only been friends with me for like three weeks and he already got me tickets to his game. You, on the other handโฆโ
The car halts to a slow stop, Donghyuckโs phone telling you that youโve arrived at your location. Donghyuck doesnโt switch off the engine though. He chuckles licking his lips, then poking his tongue on his cheeks, fucking with your heart and hormones in the process. He keeps his hand on the steering wheel and turns to look at you, eyes hazed in attraction like heโs pulling you in.
โBaby,โ he says in a whisper almost. โI donโt like love triangles.โ
โLoveโฆ triangles?โ you repeat.
โLove triangles,โ he says in English. โI fucking hate it. And weโre not about to go through that trope in our love story here. So, let me make it clear before we go inside and before you even think about sticking to Sungchan all night.โ
You gulp.
โThereโs no Sungchan in the equation,โ he states like a command and you find yourself nodding, agreeing. โItโs only you and me. Tonight, there will be a lot of people and none of them will be in the equation. Tonight, youโre sticking with me and weโll talk about this tomorrow. Have fun with me and see if you want to take this to another level, because if you ask me, Iโve been dying to fucking kiss you since the semester began.โ
This territory is new, and this Donghyuck is new, too. Heโs always been affectionate and heโs never held back, but this new level of honesty is astonishing. Damn attractive if youโre being honest.
โCome here,โ he says, ridding himself from his seatbelt. You do the same, leaning closer to him. Donghyuck holds your cheeks with both hands, smiling down at you before leaning in to kiss your forehead. โIโm not giving you mixed signals. This is me giving you a clear, direct sign that I like you and I like what we have, but Iโd love to take another step. Iโve been thinking about it, and I donโt really want someone to enter the equation while Iโm trying to woo you.โ
You giggle. โYou already successfully wooed the romance out of me the second you started holding my hand, Lee Donghyuck. And no, there wonโt be love triangles.โ
Donghyuckโs honesty fires up some courage in you, and you like the feeling of watching him falter when you lean in, hand on the back of his neck, and kiss him for the first time. The man melts in your kiss and in your touch, but doesnโt wait for another heartbeat to kiss you back. And despite of the bottled-up and eagerness from both sides, the first kiss is soft the first time, featherlike and sweet. His lips are even softer than they look and his lips already look plump as it is, and when Donghyuck licks your lips and invites himself in, God, he makes sure you taste the sweetness from his mouth and in a minute youโre addicted and you kiss and kiss and kiss, lips locking, tongue gliding, breaths gasping.
Itโs him who pulls away, leaving you with dazed eyes wanting, wanting, wanting more.
Donghyuck gives you one last kiss on the forehead. โLetโs go.โ
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
์ด๋ ๊ฒ? (ireoke) โ Like this?
You donโt end up seeing Sungchan at all in the party, and you donโt mind because Donghyuck keeps you glued to his side. The party is fun, but you and Donghyuck decide not to drink a single drop of alcohol. To him, itโs because he has to drive. To you, itโs because you want to be entirely sober to remember whatever happens tonight.
Donghyuck makes out with you in the corner of the living room where people are crumpled, and you like that he doesnโt care that people see. He holds you by the waist and on your neck, and you get it now. You get why women are lining up to sleep with Donghyuck, because if he can kiss like this, what else can he do with his mouth?
You shoot a message to Sungchan with a selfie of you and Donghyuck, thanking him for inviting you to the party and telling him youโll see him on your next class together (Donghyucks suggests you send Sungchan a picture of you and him making out.) and prompt to leave. Donghyuck says goodbye to a few people he knew, holding you by the waist all the way from the house to where his car is parked.
Donghyuck drives you to his apartment and tells you heโs told Mark youโd be sleeping at his place tonight. The drive itself was intense enough and Donghyuckโs doing an amazing job keeping his cool while youโre practically sweating from the passengerโs seat.
You donโt even get a good look at his apartment when you arrive, because Donghyuckโs already kissing you as he rids himself of his jacket. Donghyuck doesnโt kiss you softly this time; he kisses you like heโs leaving a mark on your mouth, almost like he wants to bruise his presence inside you. He helps you get slip out of your jacket, pulling away quickly to kick his shoes off, before carrying you bridal style and bringing you to his room, kicking the door behind.
Despite the roughness of his kisses, he puts you to bed gently, ridding himself of his shirt and kneeling on the floor so he could help you out of your socks. He leans up once heโs done, one hand on your jaw to pull you down for another kiss, the other caressing your thigh.
โPlease tell me this is okay,โ he whispers. You nod. โI need your words, baby.โ
โYes, Donghyuck,โ you answer, breathless when he starts kissing your neck. โThis is okay. Please touch me.โ
Donghyuck pushes you a little so half of your body is lying on his bed, your feet flat on his carpeted floor, tugging the loops of your jeans, urging you to lift your hips so he can rid you out of the material. He pulls you back up to take your shirt off from your torso, then heโs helping you back up from the edge of the bed towards the headboard as he crawls on top of you.
โDonghyuck,โ you gasp when he goes back to kissing you. You realize that Donghyuck like kissing with the way heโs using his mouth to imprint his presence in you, his tongue licking everywhere it can reach inside your mouth, and he tastes like mint and the soda he had at the party, and heโs everything that you want. โTouch me, please.โ
โLike this?โ Donghyuck reaches down to rub your clit through the material of your underwear. He rubs slow, teasingly, and kisses you on the mouth when you groan. He dips his head lower and kisses your neck; he bites and nips and sucks and youโre sure itโs leaving a mark youโd have to conceal the next day. โWant me to touch you like this, baby?โ
A moan elicits from your throat, and Donghyuck doesnโt waste any more time. He slips his warm hand between your skin and your underwear, really touching you, rubbing your clit gently, his digits dragging itself on your slit slowly, gathering your wetness then going back to rub your clit again, more roughly with the pool of wetness his fingers have now.
โLike this?โ he asks again, pushing a finger inside when he finds your hole, urging another moan from your lips.
โOh my God, Donghyuck,โ you gasp when he fingers you gently, your wetness making a sound when he adds another finger. Donghyuck takes his time, biting his lips as he watches you writhe underneath his touch.
โPull your bra down,โ he breathes out, and you do. When your breasts are out on the open, Donghyuck doesnโt waste time and locks lips with your nipple, sucking and licking as he fingers the sanity out of you. He alternates from fingering you with two digits and rubbing you using his thumb, and youโre all putty and messy under him, and you want more, more, more, more.
Donghyuck hushes you. โI will, baby. Iโll fuck you so well, youโll come running back to me tomorrow and the day after, and the day after.โ
But he doesnโt. He pulls his fingers out, hold you by your jaw so you could lock eyes while he licks the proof of your attraction to him from his fingers, sucking and showing you just how well he could use his tongue. He doesnโt fuck you get but he rids you of the last garments from your body and does the fucking impossible.
Donghyuck eats you out like itโs the last meal heโll ever have. He swirls his tongue on your clit as he pushes his digits back in your hole, fingering you like itโs all heโs ever wanted, and heโs got you chanting his name like a prayer when his tongue laps your sex, even more when he replaces his fingers with his tongue. Youโre writhing and screaming and Donghyuckโs holding your legs apart while he pleasures you with his mouth and hands.
You donโt want to cum yet, but Donghyuckโs so, so good, and it looks like heโs not stopping anytime soon. He tongues you back to your clit and fingers you with three digits, fast and rough.
โDonghyuck, Iโm going toโโ You see white and stars and you stay still when Donghyuck continues fingering you, moving all three fingers in an upward motion, reaching where you want him the most, mouth sucking your clit as you ride the first orgasm youโve had in months.
Donghyuck lets you have your moment when itโs done, taking the time to lick the slick wetness from his fingers down to his wrist, kneeling between your legs. You push yourself up so that youโre sitting with your legs wide open, your palms flat on his sheets, head tilted for a kiss. Donghyuck leans over and kisses you again, and you never thought youโd like tasting yourself in his tongue. You guess everything tastes sweeter when itโs in Donghyuckโs mouth.
โOff, please,โ you murmur, pulling the loops from his jeans. Donghyuck obeys, removing all pieces of clothing until heโs naked.
You marvel at his beauty, licking your lips when you finally see him bare and clean. His golden skin looks like honey and you want to kiss the fuck out of his collarbones and leave your mark for everyone to see. Your eyes travel from his chest down to the trail from his tummy down to his erect cock. Heโs hard and red and you salivate from how big he looks and feel yourself getting even more wet at the thought of him fucking you. Before you know it, youโre reaching out, moving so you could kneel, and taking his hardness in your hand. Donghyuck moans for the first time tonight, and you plan to elicit that sound from him all night.
Stroking him slowly, you feel a rush of satisfaction when Donghyuck pants your name. โOh my God,โ he moans when you bend over, a palm flat on his sheets, your other hand stroking him as you take him to your mouth. He gathers your hair and watches you from above, and you purposely stick your ass up higher when you feel him twitch as you take more of his cock into your mouth. When youโre about halfway, you stroke the rest of what you canโt take and start sucking and licking, and Donghyuck makes the absolute best sound ever. You like his voice when he sings, but you donโt think anything could compare with how heโs whining your name as you suck his dick thoroughly, licking and jerking off whatever your mouth couldnโt fit. A part of you wants to ask Donghyuck to fuck your mouth, bruise your throat with his dick and cum straight down your fucking stomach if he wants to, but that could be arranged next time. This time, with his dick hard and wet from your mouth, you want him to fuck you.
You suck him one last time before you pull away, a string of your saliva following when you look up at Donghyuck. โNow, will you fuck me?โ
Donghyuck looks fucked out, eyes dazed with lust, and you want nothing more than for him to ruin you. And Donghyuck doesnโt need to be asked twice.
He crawls back up until youโre lying on your back, legs wide open for him, and kneels between your legs. โReady and sure?โ he asks for the last time, stroking himself.
โPull out when you cum,โ is all you say and Donghyuck goes for it. He gives you a kiss and rests one of his forearms beside your arm, massaging the head of his cock on your opening until heโs stretching you out.
โFuck,โ Donghyuck groans when he feels your tightness. โGod damn, Y/N, when was the last time you got fucked?โ
โIโI canโt remember,โ you say. โNone of them were worth remembering.โ
โAnd me?โ Donghyuck asks as he pushes deeper until heโs fully stretched you and his pelvis is leaning against your clit. โWill you remember me?โ
โAsk me next time,โ you breathe out. โI think youโll have to fuck me every day so I can remember.โ
Donghyuck gives you some time, kissing you softly. โWhen was the last time you fucked anyone?โ you ask in return.
โI canโt remember,โ he parrots. โNone of them were worth remembering. All I know is that this is the first time Iโm feeling someone raw.โ Then he bottoms out, gives you only half a second before heโs thrusting back and out and back and out and back and out, slowly but surely fucking you well.
Donghyuck fucks you like he means it. His hips snap roughly but makes sure you feel all of him before he thrusts out and heโs everywhere. His tongue is in your mouth, then on your neck, his free hand is caressing one of your breasts, playing with your nipples, and heโs making you feel so, so good and youโre not sure how you go back from here. Youโre not sure how you could go on with life knowing how well Donghyuck can fuck you. Heโs got you squirming and reaching your second orgasm only minutes into fucking the life out of you.
When youโre close, Donghyuck pushes himself up so that heโs kneeling again, and lifts both your legs, resting your calves on either side of his shoulders, hugging your legs so he can fuck you deeper in this angle. The precision makes you chant his name over and over again and he takes one of his hands down to rub your clit. You try your best to hold back from cumming because the way heโs fucking you now feels so damn good that you want it to last for a long time. He thrusts in and out quickly, his balls hitting the bottom of your ass again and again.
โCome for me, baby,โ he says. โLet go.โ
So, you do, and Donghyuck keeps on fucking you through it. Donghyuck lets you finish, before heโs pushing the back of your knees down so your thighs are pressed up against your stomach, chasing his own orgasm, and fucks you hard, without rhythm, until he is moaning your name like praise and heโs pulling out so he could release on your stomach. You reach up to caress his cheek as you watch him in awe as he finishes, his face contorted in pleasure, lips wet and eyes closed.
When itโs done, Donghyuck kisses you on the forehead and helps you clean up. He leaves to go to the bathroom for a minute to grab a warm, wet towel, cleaning your stomach, and carries you back to the bathroom with him. The shower is warm, and Donghyuck is gentle and sweet when he cleans you up, giving you kisses when he pats you dry once heโs gotten rid of the shampoo and body wash from your hair and skin. Donghyuck tells you thereโs a spare toothbrush on behind the mirror and washes himself as you brush your teeth, naked but warm.
Donghyuck tells you to that the right side of his closet is where you can find the clothes he uses at home and you follow as he finishes cleaning himself up. You take the liberty to take one of his shirts that are still too big for you despite Donghyuckโs frame and slip a pair of cotton shorts.
Donghyuck finds you half-asleep when heโs done showering; he sleeps shirtless, you reckon, because he crawls to bed only in sweatpants. He cuddles you from behind, kissing the clothed shoulder, and the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is him humming a song your mind canโt recognize and a promise that youโll talk about this the next day.
You wake up to the smell of Spam, an empty space beside yours, and the sound of Donghyuck singing a song from BOL4, which you learned is one of his favorite musicians.
Donghyuck smiles warmly at you when you find him in the kitchen, just about to finish pan-frying the last piece of sliced luncheon meat. Heโs still shirtless, but is wearing a cute pink apron, and he gives you a quick kiss on the lips like itโs the most natural thing ever. The second his lips pull away from yours, you reach up and touch where he kissed, lips tinglingโin disbelief that what happened last night is real.
โGood morning,โ he hums. โJust in time for breakfast.โ
โDonghyuck,โ you trail off. โCan we talk first?โ
Donghyuck nods, offering that you sit on the high stool across the small kitchen island. He sits next to you, turning the seat so that youโre face to face, knees touching. โWhat do we want to do?โ he asks.
โYou know Iโm leaving in like, four months, right?โ you start.
Donghyuck whistles. โWe just started and youโre already breaking up with me?โ
โNo, no,โ you say, exhaling. โThisโฆ this. I like. You. I like.โ
โBaby, construct your sentences properly,โ he laughs.
โI like you,โ you confess. โAnd I like this. I like holding your hands. And kissing you. And what we did last night. Iโm just worried becauseโโ
โBecause youโre leaving,โ he finishes for you. โI know, but I also like you a lot. More than you probably think. And I donโt want to miss my chance getting to know you more just because youโre leaving in a few months. I donโt know what you want, but hereโs what I want, you let me know if it works for you, if not, then Iโll still be a friend. Who might cry for two weeks straight if you reject me.โ
You laugh but urge him to continue.
โI want to date you, and get to know you even more. Your quirks, the things that make you angry, your comfort food, the movies that give you the ick,โ he continues. โYour family, how you were raised, if you like Marvel or DC more, what Hogwarts house you belong to, if you like pineapple in pizza or not, whether you pour milk or cereal first, if you ever kissed Mark Lee, if Mark Leeโs ever had a crush on you.โ
โWhat does Mark haveโโ
โShh,โ he stops. โItโs my turn. Talk later. Anyway, I want thisโโ he gestures the space between you and him. โAnd I want you. I want to keep teaching you the language and I know whatโs ahead of us is scary, and thereโs only two things that could happen: this is going to be either the biggest heartbreak of my life or youโre going to be the greatest love of my life. Itโs a fifty-fifty chance, Y/N. Letโs just say Iโm willing to risk whatever if it means I have 50% the chances of having you as the greatest love of my life.โ
Oh. You donโt realize youโre staring quietly until Donghyuck holds your hand.
โNow tell me,โ he asks slowly. โWhat do you want?โ
You donโt hesitate. โI want you, Lee Donghyuck.โ
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
์ผ์ด๋ ์ ์๋ ์ต์ ์ ์ํฉ์ ๋ฌด์์ ๋๊น? il-eonal su issneun choeag-ui sanghwang-eun mueos-ibnikka? Whatโs the worst that could happen?It doesnโt come out as a surprise to anyone when you and Donghyuck arrive at Arcade holding hands, a shy smile playing on your lips, a proud one in Donghyuckโs. You were thankful that there were no teasing remarks coming from your friendsโthat they were taking this so well, like itโs normal. Like itโs meant to happen anyway. Thereโs a knowing smirk on Markโs stupid face, but you love him and you canโt wait to tell him all about how you feel towards Donghyuck. โOkay, so my birthday falls on a weekend,โ Jeno announces. โAnd I think itโs the best time to go to the amusement park. Will you have work then, Renjun-ah?โ
โMost likely,โ Renjun answers, mouth full of food as he chews on a bite of pizza. โBut I can have Yerim cover for me. Iโll just return the favor if she needs me one day.โ
โSweet!โ Jeno exclaims. โSo, itโs decided then. Weโll go to the amusement park on my birthday.โ
As you and Donghyuck play footsie under the table, Mark stands, turning to you. โIโm going to get another milkshake. Come with me?โ
You nod, kicking Donghyuck one last time and standing to follow your best friend. Somehow, you feel bad for not saying anything about your growing feelings for Donghyuck, considering that Mark is your best friend in the entire universe and youโre his. If it were him, he wouldโve told you the second he caught feelings to anyone. But Mark knows youโre not the kind to admit feelings like this as soon as it starts inflating in your chest; he knows youโre the type to hold it in until you canโt anymore. Having had terrible relationships in the past, Mark has always known that youโre the kind to be careful.
โI didnโt think youโd actually go for it,โ Mark says as soon as you and him are out of earshot. โDonโt get me wrong. Iโm happy for you. I just didnโt expect this to happen so quickly.โ
โMe neither,โ you mumble under your breath. โSorry for not saying anything.โ
Mark chuckles. โYou didnโt have to. I mean, we all kinda always known this would happen. I just couldnโt imagine how you and Donghyuck sealed it so quickly, like considering how shy and quiet you always were whenever he was around.โ
โI was shy and quiet with everyone around,โ you remark. โDonghyuck taught me all these slangs and now I canโt stop talking.โ
The woman in the counter asks you what she can help you with when you reach her. Mark tells his order alongside some sides Renjun had asked him to get. He leans on the counter, turning back to you. โAnyway.โ
โYeah?โ
โI think youโre serious serious.โ Mark clears his throat. โLike, Iโve known you for so long and youโve always been hesitant to do shit. Iโve always been the spontaneous and reckless one between us, and youโre the careful one. The one who thinks everything through before deciding on itโthis trip to Seoul included on the long list.โ
โYour point is?โ you ask, even though you know exactly where this is going.
Mark licks his lips before continuing: โWhat Iโm saying is, youโve never been this certain so quickly.โ
Thatโs right. Not to be clichรฉ or whatever, but this is normally how it goes for you. Relationships used to be difficult for youโfrom the pining to the confession to its climax to its end, until the bargaining and acceptanceโand youโd never been the type to go through things so quickly and easily. With Donghyuck, youโd somehow done it backwards (and Mark doesnโt need to know that you slept with Donghyuck before you even sealed the damn relationship) but for some reason, you had forgotten how youโre supposed to act around people you like romantically. It scares the shit out of you, the connection between you and Donghyuck, but youโve always been a firm believer that if it doesnโt scare you, it probably isnโt something worth doing. It feels like jumping from a cliff, to the bottom of the unknown, and itโs new, but it makes your heart pound like never before.
โI donโt want to get ahead and say something thatโd make you change your mind somehow, because I also like you and Donghyuck together,โ he explains when you only stare at him. โBut, as your best friend, with the best intentions only, please donโt go breaking your heart before we leave, yeah?โ
You nod, understanding and appreciating Markโs sentiment. โWhatโs the worst that could happen?โ
Mark shrugs. โWe wonโt really know. Take care, yeah?โ
You smile stepping closer to hug Mark. โI love you, you know that, right?โ he asks. You nod, your face buried on his chest. โGood. Iโll beat Donghyuckโs ass if he hurts you in anyway.โ
โI sure hope you do,โ you reply, just in time for the staff to call Markโs attention, the tray of his order ready for him.
Donghyuck is pouting when you return, asking why you and Mark took too long because the seat beside him is all cold now. You kiss him on the cheek and tell him Mark just told you heโs beating his ass if youโre hurt in anyway.
โMark canโt hurt a fly,โ Donghyuck remarks. โWhat makes you think he can hurt me, huh?โ
When the seasons start to changeโfrom the rainy, cold spring transition to a warm, sunny summerโyou and Donghyuck change, too.
From the euphoric blooming of your relationshipโthe playful dates, the passionate moments in his bedroom (because ever since Mark adopted that cat, Donghyuck could never stay at your place for longer than an hour), the heart-warming feeling of seeing him waiting for your after your classโto the warm, comfortable attachment stage, you feel like you know Donghyuck in a deeper sense now.
The small notebook heโd given you at the beginning of the term is halfway full, its pages messily scribbled with phrase and sentences you had learnedโlikewise the memories those words carryโand soon enough you find yourself more comfortable with the language, and eventually with Seoul. You find yourself enjoying, and not in a way that makes you think youโd want to visit again soon.
The journey with Seoul was initially a play to learn the language and its beautiful culture: a detour. A diversion from your plans. A stop while you figure out what you want in life. Your last year in university is supposed to be the year you finally decide what to do next. Visiting Seoul was an opportunity for you to really get to know yourself beyond your comfort zone, to really challenge your capabilities, to learn beyond what your hometown had in store for you.
But these days do not feel like Seoul is a place to visit.
In a way, liberating albeit frightening, you find yourself thinking that perhaps Seoul is a place to build a home in. The home is built from arms that hold you on days when itโs extra cold, your nose red and hands frozen, and its shelter is made from Donghyuckโs warm smile and the assurance of him being there for you. And right now, while you sit closely together at the back of your friendโs car, their obnoxiously loud voices singing to some pop song along the radio, you feel it: home.
Jeno likes the phone case you had customized for him, and he gives you a big, bear hug as soon as he take a peek of whatโs inside your present.
โI love you. I literally love you with all my being,โ he dramatically says as he squishes you.
โThatโs my girlfriend, you idiot,โ Donghyuck complains, pulling Jenoโs arms away from you. With the way you three are seated at the back of Renjunโs car, you sitting in between them, itโs uncomfortable and Donghyuck insists on taking part of the little moment youโre having with Jeno.
Jeno whines, โLet me love her. This is the best gift ever!โ
Donghyuck ends up puffing air out of his mouth, pouting and leaning back so Jeno could hug you. Youโre laughing and Jeno whispers how easily they could make him sulk these days because youโre around.
Mark, whoโs sitting on the passenger seat beside Renjun, announces youโve arrived at the amusement park, just as Jaeminโs car halts to a slow stop behind you.
Itโs the first time youโve ever visited the famous amusement park in Seoul, and Mark looks excited with the way heโs jumping as you line up for the tickets. Donghyuck has his arm around you, taking pictures with his other hand. The rest are chattering, talking about the rides theyโd love to try.
The secretly group decides to stick together for the entire day to celebrate Jenoโs day, despite the birthday boy himself telling everyone they can go wherever they want to. You could see how much they really care about one another and they all just hide it in their mean, vile jokes. For example, the man who has his arm wrapped around you likes teasing Jeno like itโs his full-time job, but is hiding a birthday present inside the trunk of Renjunโs car (and would most likely give it before you all head home, act like his best friendโs birthday isnโt that much of a big deal).
Most of the day is spent following Jeno around, whatever ride he wanted to try and your ears ringing because of how loud Donghyuck is screaming. The temperature has gone from freezing cold to warm, the humidity making it a little harder for everybody to move around under the warmth of the sun.
โI never realized how much of a scaredy cat you are, Donghyuckie,โ you tease as soon as you walk out of the roller coaster ride. โNot much of a tough guy now, huh?โ
Donghyuck whines, โI liked you better when the words you spoke were only yes and no.โ
Mark laughs, slapping Donghyuck on the back. โOh man, that was really good.โ
โYeah?โ You rebut. โAnd I liked you better when you werenโt screaming like a kid.โ
Donghyuck smirks, โAnd I like you better when youโre screaming my name.โ
Renjun and Jisung cough in disgust, and Mark just straight up slapped the back of Donghyuckโs head. โYou two are disgusting. I canโt believe I live with you, Y/N.โ
Donghyuck laughs, turning to you. โItโs pretty hot. Want me to go grab you a can of soda? Ice cold water?โ
โWater, please,โ you say. Donghyuck nods and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling Chenle with him and walking to the opposite side where a small shop is. In the meantime, the rest of you occupy the benches under a shade, Jeno asking which ride to go next.
Donghyuck and Chenle return in a matter of time, bottles of drinks in their hands. They give everyone their preferred drinks, Donghyuck sitting beside Mark and extending an arm so he could hand you your drink from his side.
โFucking summer,โ Donghyuck curses. โI hate summer.โ
Renjun raises an eyebrow. โSuddenly?โ
โItโs not even summer yet,โ Jaemin points out. โWhat happened to you? Youโve always been so excited about summer.โ
โItโs so hot. I canโt stand this fucking temperature,โ Donghyuck mumbles.
Renjun scoffs. โYou start planning our summer getaway as early as March.โ
โItโs already April and you have nothing yet,โ Jisung points out.
โYeah, what the hell, man. I hate your ridiculous ideas, but we canโt survive summer without you,โ Jeno adds, then looks at Mark. โYo, Mark, what about you? What are you doing this summer?โ
You and Mark freeze, looking at each other for a second, before the latter speaks for you both: โWeโre, uh, weโre supposed to go home.โ
It seems like Jeno didnโt know the weight of his question because he apologizes as soon as he realizes it. The group falls into silence, no one says anything, or perhaps nobody could think of anything to say, not even you or Mark.
With your days in Seoul numbered, you realize now that you havenโt really talked about itโnot you and Mark, not you and Donghyuckโand it never really felt real. You had always told yourself youโll cross the bridge when you get there, and the bridge is nearby.
Donghyuck clears his throat. โThe sunโs going to kill me. I think I saw a burger joint that has an air-conditioning system down the corner of that street. Shall we go there?โ
Everybody agrees and stand to leave. Donghyuck holds your hand, pulling you close and steals a kiss on your cheek. The gesture makes your heart flutter. Donghyuck is warm, but not in the way the sun is hot right nowโin a way that gets you thinking: can this warmth reach Vancouver?
Your skin hurts when the sunlight hits you. You hate summer.
Donghyuck had a face that looked like what an artist would draw in a whimโspontaneouslyโlike it was done in a rush, like a portrait from a park done by a street artist, something done with a pencil. Ink stains are harder to wash off, and anyway, figments arenโt mean to lastโand heโs almost unrecognizable in this light.
You canโt recognize him on the night of his birthday.
His Mother had gone above and beyond and invited all of their closest relatives and family friends for his 23rd birthday, and itโs also your first time meeting them.
Itโs nerve-wracking to say the least, but his Mother smiles at you kindly when she greets you from the entrance of the restaurant they rented for the evening. You could tell his family was wealthy, and it makes sense because Donghyuck got the most bare minimum job he could find, and itโs most likely because he doesnโt need to get one; he probably only got one so he could talk about work, too, just like the rest of his friends.
The birthday party is a surprise and it was Renjun who connected with everyone to make sure they attend here tonight. You had to make up some excuse to Donghyuck when he asked why you canโt join him for dinner with his family tonight and had promised to make it up to him the day after.
Youโre sat in the same table as Mark, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin, a bit far away from Donghyuckโs familyโs table, as you wait for the birthday boy, your present sitting on top of the round table. Mark talks about his cat, letting Jaemin watch snippets of his pet from his phone, and Renjun is narrating a story about his โridiculous and absurd encounter with Liu Yangyang (and you and Jeno canโt pass up the opportunity to tease him about it).
Then, someone comes sit beside Jaemin, the boys gasping when they see her.
Karina is beautiful, and even saying that isnโt enough to describe the womanโs beauty. Soft-spoken and brilliant, Karina naturally allows everyone to gravitate towards her. All, including yourself, are pulled like magnet when she arrived. Jeno introduces you and you allow yourself to throw a quick and inaudible โhelloโ when she reaches over and asks you how you are.
Donghyuckโs Mother almost screams when she sees Karina, excitement filling up the air as she hugs her and thanks her for attending.
โI wouldnโt miss Hyuckieโs birthday for the world, eommoni,โ Karina answers, and before you could ask Renjun how sheโs related to Donghyuck, Jisung, whoโs seated in another table with Donghyuckโs younger siblings, announces that the birthday man himself has arrived.
Donghyuck enters the hall, surprised and happy when he sees everyone, a dramatic cry leaving his lips as everyone greets him happy birthday. He feigns complaint, whining that heโs no longer eight years old, but hugs his parents anyway.
His parents thank everyone for joining a precious day and celebrating their eldest sonโs birthday with them. Donghyuck bows and starts to go around to thank people.
You donโt recognize Donghyuck when he finally reaches your table and he gives you small smile, hugging you quickly before moving on to the next person. You donโt recognize Donghyuck when he goes to Karina, lifting her as he hugs her tightly, and thanking her for being able to come. You donโt recognize Donghyuck when his Mother joins the little reunion and he laughs when his Mother jokes about them missing each other too much.
โSheโs the one who left me all alone here in Seoul,โ Donghyuck pouts. โWe wouldnโt have missed each other this much if you had stayed!โ
โDonโt be such a drama queen, Hyuckie,โ Karina says, rolling her eyes. โYou visited me in Tokyo literally six months ago.โ
Six months ago, which means, it was right before you arrived in Seoul.
You want to be anywhere else but here, and you donโt want to listen any further, but the scenario runs like a comedy show and the punch line is you.
โYou two better decide whatever the hell you want to do with your lives by the end of the year,โ Donghyuckโs Mother comments. โI mean, no oneโs stopping you from moving to Tokyo, Donghyuck. You and Karina can rekindle whatever light was burnt last year. Iโm glad you stayed best of friends despite the long distance. Youโve always made a great couple.โ
Your breath hitches like your lungs had just been punch. Donghyuck, it seems, finally remembers youโre watching this unfold. Mark holds you, and bless him because your legs feel like theyโre about to give up. You and Donghyuck make eye contact, but you donโt recognize him at all.
โEomma,โ Donghyuck clears his throat. Everything else heโs said come out like a blur, and Mark is just holding you close.
โDonโt misunderstand,โ Renjun whispers closely. โTheyโre just friends.โ
You donโt recognize Donghyuck when he watches you leave.
Karina turns out to be the one that got away. The one true love. The greatest love. The childhood best friend whoโs always been there. The leading woman. She turns out to be the protagonist in Donghyuckโs story.
You learn all of these from Renjun. Even when he refused to say a single word and had begged for you to talk to Donghyuck instead, you learn the truth by asking Mark to ask Renjun.
Donghyuck and Karina. Karina and Donghyuck. Two peas in a pod. A tight knit. Knowing each other like the back of their hands. A buy one, get one kind of deal. Where one is, the other would follow. And everyone and their moms know that it has always been like that, will always be like that.
Donghyuck and Karina, born on the same year, grew up in the same small village in Jeju island. Having been inseparable since, they ended up moving to Seoul together in high school. Donghyuckโs parents were supportive of Donghyuck pursuing a career in music, and they believed that moving to Seoul was the first step for their beloved son to find his spotlight. Karinaโs parents, however, couldnโt afford moving alongside the Lee family despite wanting to support their daughter, too. Donghyuck begged his parents to have Karina move in with them so her parents would only worry about paying her tuition and allowances. The Lee family agreed, of course, because Donghyuck and Karina were fifteen, and they were the best team the world has ever known.
Karina is a talented dancer, and with a face like hers, it would be a shame to keep her in a small town in Jeju island. Her moving to Seoul had been the first step to her early success, because as soon as she reached puberty and had gained a butt and a pair of breasts, agencies were scouting her, creepily waiting for her outside of hers and Donghyuckโs high school. Sheโd declined, of course, with a promise to Donghyuck that theyโd go to stardom together, but Donghyuck wanted to study and make music, and he felt as though he needed to go to college for that.
Karina eventually moved to another dormitory when she started training. Donghyuck moved downtown to start college. They were in different places, but they were still inseparable.
Pretty much every day Donghyuck would meet up with Karina when she started training; if not, then heโd be on Facetime with her during the hours when sheโs not working. He had brought her to SNU many times, and they had started dating by the time Donghyuck is in his second year. All the other guys know Karina and her place in Donghyuckโs life. Somehow, a bitter part of you feels betrayed that none of them ever mentioned about Donghyuckโs great love, but you canโt really blame them for not saying anything.
They broke up on the latter months of last year because Karina had to move to Tokyo. There was no big fight apparently, just the decision that itโs most likely not going to work becauseโlisten to this; this is the biggest punch line of this comedy showโDonghyuck canโt handle long distance.
You had answered one of Donghyuckโs calls by mistake. Heโs mad for some reason, perhaps angry of the fact that youโre ignoring him and he doesnโt have much control like he normally does.
โY/N, for fuckโs sake, why havenโt you answered?โ he had cried out as soon as you answered.
โI was busy,โ was all you could come up with. You brain had not been working good enough to translate things to Korean.
โWhat do you mean you were busy?โ he had asked, voice loud and angry. โYou literally disappeared on me! On my fucking birthday! And Iโm done playing nice and cool because this is unfair. Whatever the fuck youโre doing is unfair youโre not letting me in. If you could just let me explain, thingsโโ
โPlease speak slowly.โ
โโwould be easier for the two of us. Whatever Karina and I had, itโs been over since last year. Itโs over way before I met you. I never thought of her, not even for a goddamn second since we got together. I wouldnโt fucking betray you like thatโโ
โI canโt understand you.โ
โโand I canโt believe you donโt trust me enough to let me at least tell you what happened! I never mentioned her because I never even thought about her! My Mother doesnโt know anything! Iโve wanted you to meet my Mother for a long time, but given our situation, a fucking time bomb ticking, I didnโt know if it was too early to go to that stage.โ
โTime bomb?โ you had asked, repeating the syllables slowly. โWhatโs that?โ
Donghyuck sighed on the other line. โThe thing that explodes at a predetermined time.โ
โOh, a time bomb,โ you asked in English, chuckling. โThat, we are.โ
โHuh?โ
โWeโre a fucking time bomb,โ you said, again in English, because if Donghyuck could keep talking in his mother tongue without considering if youโd understand a single word, so could you. โWeโre ticking and weโre just waiting for this shit to explode. And I canโt wait and watch myself burn, Donghyuck. I canโt.โ
โPlease speak slowly,โ he pleaded in Korean. You donโt.
โThis isnโt going to work,โ you responded, still in your mother tongue. โMaybe this is a clear sign for us, Donghyuck. Goodbye.โ
Mark finds you crying on floor of your living, your back leaning on the feet of the couch, two weeks after Donghyuckโs birthday.
The first week, you had convinced your friends you were fine and that you just needed time. Donghyuckโs been reaching out to everybody, and Mark, being the best friend he is, lies regarding your whereabouts every time Donghyuck visits.
You donโt know how many calls Donghyuck had tried to make and how many text messages heโd left because you had completely abandoned your phone for the last couple of weeks and only relied on your computer to check any e-mails from your professors.
โIโm sorry,โ Mark says, and you feel a rush of relief when he talks to you in English. Youโve had enough of Korean and Korean men these days. โIt sucks, man. I donโt even know what to say. Iโm so fucking disappointed with Donghyuck.โ
โShouldnโt you be more disappointed with me?โ you sniffle. โI should have listened to you. We were moving too fast.โ
Mark shakes his head, pulling you closer so that your head is resting on his shoulder. โI couldnโt blame you. Donghyuckโs charming, and I genuinely thought he was in love with you. I mean, I could say is, because I really think heโs sorry about everything.โ
โWe didnโt even get to properly break up,โ you cry. โOur flight back home is in like, two weeks. I was supposed to talk to him and decide what weโd do with our relationship. For his birthday, I made a stupid mixtape that he could keep in his car and a very expensive and fucking cheesy set of touch lamps I found online for whenever he would miss me. And I keep making stupid letters like a fucking idiot so I could leave him with a bunch of poorly constructed letters just so he knows how much Iโll fucking miss him.โ
Mark stays silent as you sob your heart out.
โAnd can you believe I actually thought itโd work?โ you say, exasperated. โIโm so fucking sorry to myself. Iโm just glad itโs over before I did shit Iโd regret later on.โโ
โShit like?โ Mark asks.
You sigh, sniffling and screaming internally because the tears would stop. โI was already looking into internships here. For my last semester in college. I had already decided to decline the internship they were offering back homeโthank God I havenโt sent that e-mail from my draftsโand Iโve found really good companies here. And if Iโm lucky, I was thinking of moving here after college.โ
Mark clicks his tongue. โAll because of Donghyuck?โ
โBecause he feels like home, Mark,โ you reason out. โHeโs warm, and I canโt believe Iโm admitting this now, but I love him. I love him so fucking much.โ
โOh, Y/N.โ
โAnd we would have been happy. I wouldโve done everything I could,โ you confess. โAnd this fucking language barrier will be the death of me, but I wouldโve learned more. Iโd be an expert by the end of the year. And now, this whole Karina thing made me realize how much more I need to know about him.โ
Mark holds you closer as though holding you would make things better. โWhen we were kids,โ he starts. โWhenever I told you stories about how much I miss all the people I had to leave behind whenever we had to move from one country to another, one state to another, youโd always tell me to never build houses out of people.โ
You remember. You always admired how Mark could move from one place to another, his suitcase and the ghost of the friendships he made following his trail, and heโs always told you about the loneliness it comes with.
โYou used to tell me shelters arenโt supposed to be made of arms wrapped around you on a cold night, or hands that hold you when youโre feeling lonely,โ he continues. โAnd I canโt blame you, because humans are known not to follow their own advice. But I hope you find home in things youโd never lose.โ
You nod. โIโm sorry for breaking rule number three.โ
โYouโll get over him,โ he assures. โIf you decide to really end things here, I mean. Iโm sure you can get over him. Itโs easier to get over people when you donโt see him.โ
You nod, โLetโs go home, Mark.โ
โBack home?โ
You smile. โYes. Back home.โ
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๊ฐ๋ง (galmang) - longing
Itโs Giselle who picks you up from the airport.
You reunite like old friends, but Giselle really didnโt change that much. Even the weather didnโt change much. The same old. You wish you could say the same to yourself.
The flight to Vancouver was the most painful ten hours of your life, both literally and figuratively. It was hard watching your friends bid you goodbye, and you could tell they were dreading your departure as much as you and Mark were. Mark assures them you and him would save up to visit them again this year and as much as youโd wanted to stay, your student visa would allow you only six months. Mark promises heโd work on a tourist visa or whatever because despite being 100% ethnically Korean, but legally, he canโt just visit whenever he wants.
The pain from your breakup with Donghyuck is nothing compared to seeing Mark leave his friends again. You know how much they mean to him, and by extension, how much they mean to you regardless of what happened before your departure.
The head of student exchange program sends you warm greetings through text, followed by a series of messages from your friends and family. Youโre glad Giselle had decided to pick you up from the airport, because you donโt think youโre in a good state to pretend like youโre okay, and Giselle knows.
Of course, she knows.
Giselleโs been your anchor during your last weeks in Seoul. Mark reckons that if anyone would understand you best during this time, it would be Giselle. After all, sheโd gone through the same thing.
Like Mark, Giselle moved to Seoul with her parents for a few years. She had a similar experience with Mark, considering that her parents are constantly moving aroundโfrom Japan to South Korea then to Vancouver. Giselle was only in Seoul for two years before her parents moved back to Vancouver again, and in between those years she had met Kevin Moon, the love of her life.
They have been dating for almost four years now, two of those years, they dated long distance.
โHowโd you make it work?โ you had asked Giselle over Facetime once.
โIt wasnโt perfect,โ she admitted. โWe broke up a couple of time because it was really difficult. And neither of us were willing to move for each other. I mean, donโt get me wrong, Kevin and I, we love each other. Truly we do. But I wouldnโt want to plant my entire life in Seoul for him. In the same manner, I donโt want him to move from Seoul to Vancouver for me when we both know for a fact that heโd be more successful in Korea than here. I guess, I donโt know, I donโt have an advice I could give you.โ
โIโm not asking for advice,โ you denied. โI mean. Donghyuck and I have only been dating for like, two weeks. I wouldnโt think that far at this time.โ
Giselle had laughed at the other end of the line. โLet me tell you one thing, though.โ
โMhm.โ
โItโs all a matter of choice,โ she had said slowly, like she wanted to imprint the words to your brain. โYour heart isnโt made of diamonds. Your lungs arenโt made of steel. Somehow, inevitably, youโd grow tiredโtired of timezones and how you never get the timing right, tired of not having someone to hug when you need it, tired of having to compromiseโand itโs not an easy game.โ
Giselle was smiling when sheโd said the rest: โBut Kevin is so worth it. Iโll grow tired of the baggage long distance comes with, but I donโt think I could live without him, you know? And itโs exaggerated, I know, and neither of us know what the future holds, but weโre choosing us. We chose to stay.โ
It would have been beautiful, you think, if things worked out between you and Donghyuck. You would have written poems and prose in places about how you chose to stay. You would have learned about time zones and the best time to call, could have learned how to purchase the cheapest flight tickets to see each other, would have learned love and compromise together.
But youโre here, back in Vancouver, the voices of Mark and Giselle all blurred out from the backseat, and all you could think of is how much you miss Donghyuck.
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
์๊ธฐ์น ์์ (yegichi anh-eun) - unexpected
The head of the student exchange program asks you to write an article about your experience in Seoul and gives you until the fall semester begins, just in time for the universityโs own publishing house to produce this yearโs school paper. Youโre stuck at two hundred words and a stupid title Mark came up with: โLearning Languagesโโand youโre thinking about withdrawing from that spot in the newspaper but Mark keeps calling you a heartbroken loser and youโre not about to let Mark Lee get the last word.
Youโre eating cereal and watching an episode of Suits to prepare to write again (yes, a 30-minute preparation time is needed for such task) when someone knocks at your door.
You know how, in movies, the main character would see things in slow motion as soon as the love of their life enters the scene? Thatโs exactly what happens when you open the door and find Lee Donghyuck standing outside your dorm room, a too-large for his body backpack on one shoulder and his heart upon his sleeve.
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
๋ฏธ์ํด (mianhae) โ Iโm sorry | ์ฌ๋ํดย (saranghae) โ I love you
โIโm sorry,โ are the first words that Lee Donghyuck comes up with, and truthfully are the words you needed to hear from him. He says it in his mother tongue and you feel his heart in his voice.
โMark?โ you ask, knowing full well itโs Mark who helped him.
โYes but no,โ he answers. โHe said heโd only give me your address but heโs not picking me up or helping me. My flight landed literally six hours ago and Iโve been looking for you since.โ
Donghyuck sits across you on the small table you own inside your small room. His backpack is sitting on his feet and his shoulders are slumped. Donghyuck allows himself to look small compared to all the times you were with him.
โY-you look good,โ he comments, eyes glued on you. โIโm glad youโre healthy, at least.โ
โYou, too,โ you mumble. โTea? Coffee?โ
โWater would be fine, please and thank you.โ You reach over to hand him a bottle. โAnd who are you kidding? I look awful.โ
He does. He looks exactly what he said he had done to get here. Look for you for six hours after a ten-hour flight from Incheon. Donghyuck downs the bottle of water. Poor guy probably hasnโt eaten.
โWhy are you here, Donghyuck?โ you ask as soon as heโs done drinking.
Donghyuck clears his throat. โI donโt really know what I want out of this trip.โ
You keep your arms crossed over your chest.
โAnd Iโm not about to beg you to take me back,โ he continues. โI just wanted to explain. I just want you to know what happened. I can live without you, but I canโt live with you thinking I had betrayed you.โ
โDonghyuck, thereโs really no need to explain. Renjun has told Mark all I needed to know.โ
โNo, let me say it please. I spent a fortune to come here, and Iโm going to make you listen if itโs the last thing Iโd do. After this, Iโll leave. I have a ticket back home tomorrow, and Iโll leave.โ
Ridiculous. Who would spend a fortune on a set of roundtrip tickets only to leave a day after? Of course, only Lee Donghyuck.
โKarina and I go way back,โ he says. โWeโve known each other since we were kids. And sheโs not someone I could just get rid of just because our relationship didnโt work out. Weโre better off as friends, and thatโs a fact we had come to learn when we tried dating. And it was painful, but I couldnโt lose her just because we didnโt know how to date, how to play boyfriend and girlfriend to each other. Thatโs the first thing I need you to understand.โ
โLike I donโt know that already?โ you remark sarcastically.
โKarina is a part of me.โ Shitโs painful.
โBut now like how you are a part of me.โ
Oh.
โSheโs my best friend, almost like a sister now, and my parents care about her,โ he continues. โIt was a mistake that we even tried to date just so we could relate to everyone dating everybody. It almost ruined us, and Karina and I, we canโt afford to lose each other just because of that. The person who I am now, part of it is because of Karina. But Y/N, the person Iโm about to become, I want it to be because of you.โ
He clears his throat again. You look at the bottle of water he finished drinking because you really canโt look at Donghyuck now. Not when heโs vulnerable and out in the open. Not when heโs exactly the way he was when you fell in love with him.
โAnd I had plans. For the long run,โ he says like a promise. โI had started looking up how to get a tourist visa to Canada and how to get you a tourist visa to Korea. Iโve been saving all my allowances and the money Iโve been earning from work so I could book a ticket to Vancouver for the summer and spend it with you. And I was supposed to tell Mom, but I havenโt had the chance yetโthat one I have no excuse for. But the timing was off and she met you before I could tell her. She had no idea and sheโs genuinely sorry she made it seem like she wanted me to end up with Karina. If she had known I was already in love with someone else, she wouldnโt have said that in front of you. She would have loved you.โ
Donghyuck pauses. You look up to see him wiping his tears from his cheeks. โAnd Iโm sorry that the timing didnโt go well for us, but I promise you I had plans. I just didnโt want to spend the rest of your weeks in Seoul thinking about you being gone as soon as the semester is over. I wanted to seize the moments with you and make youโI wanted to make you feel that I love you.โ
Your breath hitches. Donghyuck locks eyes with you.
โI love you. I love you and Iโm so sorry that I made you feel like I didnโt,โ he confesses, bursting into tears and you do, too. โIโm so sorry that I didnโt try hard enough to make you stay. Iโm so sorry that I talked to fast that time I finally got you to answer my call; I shouldโve explained more calmly. Iโm so sorry that weโre here, in Vancouver, hearts broken. But I love you, and I wish I could say all of these in English if thatโs what would make you believe itโs real and itโs true.โ
But he doesnโt have to.
โI love you,โ you say in your mother tongue before switching to Korean. โI love you. And I know you love me. And Iโm so sorry for jumping to conclusions and not trying hard enough. Just like you, I had plans to. For the long run. And I can live without you, too, but I canโt live without you knowing how much I love you.โ
Donghyuck giggles through his tears and reaches out both hands to wipe off yours. โLetโs not live without each other.โ
Itโs him to moves, standing a little, so he could kiss you.
The kiss says everything the language barrier canโt. I love you. I missed you. Iโm sorry. This is everything Iโve ever wanted. You are everything Iโve ever wanted.
Donghyuck spends the night tracing your body with his mouth like heโs writing a love song and he needs to taste you first before he could write the first melody. You spend the night underneath Donghyuckโs love, whispering his name like praise, taking, taking, taking everything heโs giving you.
You wake up to arms around you and the love of your life kissing the back of your neck. You and him spend the entire day (or at least, the seven hours he had until he had to take the flight back home) talking about your plans and making a list of thing you have to talk about over the phone, but today, youโre taking him out on a date under the warm, sunny skies of Vancouver.
And you do. You and Donghyuck have the best day ever together. Donghyuck gives you the other pair of the touch lamp youโd given to him as a birthday presentโyouโd forgotten you left it when you ran off; you were supposed to watch him open it so you could show him how it worksโand makes you promise to touch the lamp whenever you missed him. He thanks you for the mixtape and confesses he cries whenever he plays it inside his car. He also gives you your small notebook of learning languages back (because you had dramatically left it to Renjun before you boarded the plane), saying youโd need it again.
Mark refused to come because he wants you and Donghyuck to talk and spend the day creating a game plan to make your relationship work. At the end of the hours you had with him, you donโt come up with a solid game plan.
Because Giselle was right, after all, it all comes down to the choices you make. There was no formula on how a long-distance relationship would work. Neither you nor Donghyuck had survived one, but you knew one thing:
Today, you and Donghyuck choose each other.
Itโs only the beginning, it seems.
ใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใปใปโฅใป
The sun is out and bright when Donghyuck boards the plane.
Itโs a lot warmer than the rest of the year, but you donโt really mind.
โฏ summary: your brother jaemin loves throwing parties when your parents arenโt home โ but you hate it. in an attempt to escape the loud music and sweaty bodies you try and head out. but thereโs no way your brotherโs best friend, jeno, is letting you wander around the streets so late.
โฏ pairings: jeno x fem!reader
โฏ genre: smut, brotherโs best friend, college!au
โฏ words: 8.4k
โฏ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, masturbation, minor mentions of drug use, drinking, marking, slight protective brother jaemin, begging, spanking, mentions of marking, unprotected sex (wrap it up), oral sex (male, fem receiving), fingering, reader uses she/her pronouns, jeno fucks his best friendโs little sister.
This party fucking sucks.
Youโre not even drunk. The vodka is watered down, you're sure of it. Your friends ditched you about half an hour ago โ disappearing with some of the guys they had been speaking to and seeing.ย
"Come to the party with us, they said." You mimic to yourself into your plastic cup. "It'll be fun, they said."ย
You scoff taking another swig but pull your face at the awful taste that lingers in your mouth. There are better things you could be doing on a Saturday night, you think. Youโre almost positive you saw a new show released on Netflix today. Or better yet, you could be reading some sort of erotic novel that would spice up your Saturday night more than this shit.
But the thing is, this party is at your own fucking house.
Your brother is throwing it.ย
Every time your parents go away for one weekend he canโt help but jump at the opportunity to trash the place. You don't see why he can't just have a few of the boys around, have some beers and then call it a night. But no, that isn't exactly Jaeminโs style.ย
Of course, he has to invite a bunch of random weirdos that seem to be snorting cocaine off of every surface in this house, and smoking whatever kind of weed they could find. And sure, youโre not impartial to a good night but this... this is not your idea of a good night.
At all.
Sighing, you push through the masses of people, seeing the sweaty bodies that are dry humping one another or eating each other's faces off so much you feel like youโre going to throw up at the sight.ย
Stopping in your tracks, you reach into the back pocket of your denim jeans to pull out your phone, seeing that it is half-past midnight. If you know Jaemin โ and you did โ this was only the beginning of the night. The party is definitely far from over.
Fuck sake.
You put your phone back in your pocket and continue to manoeuvre around the bodies in the hallway. Your stomach growls and you think about how you're drinking on an empty stomach. The only thing open at this time is a Mcdonald's but you don't necessarily want to be that person that sits in McDonald's by themselves on a Saturday night.ย
Still, you head for your front door and try your luck at an escape. As you reach your hand out to grab the door handle you smash headfirst into a body. Well to be more specific a chest. A hard chest.
"Ow, fuck!" You lift your hand up, rubbing your forehead.
"Sorry little Na, didn't see you there." You immediately recognise that voice. The deep slowness in which he talks. Itโs the only voice that has a straight hotline to your core.ย
Yeah, you couldn't ever forget that voice.
You stop rubbing your head and slowly look up, following the lines of his muscled chest that you can see through the tight white t-shirt he's wearing with a pair of denim jeans and converse. Yes you had already checked him out tonight, but youโre only human. And when your eyes meet that sharp jawline, hollowed-out cheekbones and those damming brown eyes, you involuntarily clench your thighs together.
You shun yourself because you know you canโt have him. And thatโs the reason why you hate him.ย
He's your brotherโs best friend.
Lee fucking Jeno.
The worst man on this planet. for many reasons like for one heโs insanely hot. Like too hot. Who on this planet even needs to be that hot? But to make it worse he knows he's hot. Girls are always flying off his arm fueling his ego. He's also selfish and arrogant.ย
But the reason you hate him the most, the reason you despise him so much, and avoid him at all costs is because of the burning need โ it's past being a want it's a fucking need โ to just devour him. Every part of you screams out whenever he is in the same room.ย
And you hate it.
You have zero control over your words and actions with him โ and he knows it with how much youโve embarrassed yourself in front of him over the years. Your cheeks tend to grow red without your permission, and oh does he love to point that out.
Ever since your brother brought him home in his first year of high school, they have been inseparable โ and youโve been madly in love.
Well, youโre not in love with the boy. You just, you know, want to rip his clothes off. And let him fuck the living daylights out of you.
"Aw, there they are." He distracts you from your thoughts.ย
His eyes are burning straight through you. As if he can tell what youโre thinking, how youโre feeling. And right now, you have very infuriating dampness in your panties that wasn't there 30 seconds ago.ย
"Those rosy cheeks, are they for me, little Na?" You swat his hand away as it attempts to reach up to caress your cheek or some stupid shit like that.
"Stop that Jeno!โ You snap at him, getting angry is your default with him.
It the perfect remedy to keep him away from you, so you don't do something stupid like fuck your brotherโs best friend
โPlease just get out my way.โย
"Such a pleasant girl, aren't you?" He winks.ย
He fucking winks, and your pussy screams in delight. If you were any other girl, youโd be swooning right now. Youโd be on your knees begging for it.ย
Well, you won't be on yourย knees for him.
Ever.
Especially not tonight.
"Just get out of my way, Jeno,โ you push him rather hard.ย
You knew it wouldn't make him budge if he didn't want it too but he dramatically moved out of your way of the door. You yank it open and dart through onto the front lawn. Halfway down the driveway, a sharp tug on your arm spins you around and youโreย faced with Jeno... again.
"Fuck sake, what do you want?" You shake your arm out of his grip but he doesn't let go.ย
You give up, huffing and dropping your shoulders. The two of you are just staring at each other, so much so that you didn't even realise how close you really were. Your chests are almost touching, there is a hair width between you. And due to your height, if you looked forwards youโd be looking at the bottom of his neck, right where you see him gulp before meeting your eyes again. They seem to burn into yours, suddenly growing intense.ย
He is the first to look away but he doesn't just look away, no. You watch as his eyes flash down to your lips. Your breath hitches, he sees that and when he looks back to your eyes again, he flashes you a knowing smirk.
Motherfucker.ย
"Come back inside." He says as he throws his head to the side, signalling to my house.
"No," you all but stomp your foot.
"You're such a fucking brat, you know that right?" He growls, closing that gap so that your chests touch. Thereโs an electricity running through you, begging for him.ย
"I'm not a fucking brat, I just don't want to be here at this shitty party!โย
You don't break his eye contact, chests still touching. He can sure as hell feel each heavy breath you take and probably every beat of your heart that seems to have sped up since he moved closer.
"Just go inside, go to your room, anything. Just don't fucking leave, your brother would have my balls if I let you go out alone this late at night.โย
You roll your eyes at the mention of your brother. You love him, you really do, but hearing the word brother leaves Jenoโs lips reminds you exactly why heโs even here.
Itโs not for you โ itโs for Jaeminโs sake.ย
"I don't see why either of you care, you've got plenty of booze and girls to keep you occupied to not even notice me gone,โ you stand your ground, trying to tug your arm once again but he still won't let go.
However, he has loosened his grip so it isn't so harsh, but it's still locked around your wrist. In fact, youโre sure you feel him drawing little circles on the inner skin with his thumb and that thought alone has you squirming no matter how much you try to ignore it.ย
"I think I'd always notice when you're not there," Jeno says under his breath, his face lowering to yours.ย
If you didn't know better then youโd think he was about to kiss you. But that can't happen. Can it?ย
Everything but your core is saying no. Your whole body is screaming to open up your mouth and say please. But you ignore it โ you always doโ and try to keep a brave face. But as he gets so close, too close, your eyes automatically flutter shut.
You expect his lips to graze yours but they don't, instead, you feel his cheek against you , only faintly, as his lips skim your ear lobe.
"I think I'd always notice when you're not there because there won't be some childish little brat moaning about not getting her own way."ย
Your eyes shoot open as he pulls back, laughing at your flushing cheeks. Your eyes narrow as you finally tug your arm hard enough this time that he has no choice but to release you.ย
"I do not moan about not getting my own way and I am not childish nor a brat,โ you sneer at him.ย
"Sure,-" he huffs, laughing, crossing his arms over his chest. "Whatever you say."ย
"Why canโt you just go inside and leave me alone,โ you cross your own arms over your chest.ย
"No can do." He stands there like some sort of bouncer, you look to your right and see the path only a few steps away. He watches you and says a low, demanding, "Don't."ย
But you do it.ย
You spin on your heel and run for it. But you only make it two steps before two large arms are wrapped around your waist from behind and youโre being sprung back into a hard chest. Jenoโs one arm sits tightly around your waist, his fingers digging into your hip and you squirm against him. To stop your wriggling, his other hand flies up to grab a hold of your throat, tilting your head back to the rest of his shoulder.ย
His eyes flash to his hand around your neck and he takes a deep breath that causes his eyes to flutter shut. Then you feel something growing behind you causing your own eyes to grow wide. He leans forward, lips skimming yours barely.ย
โI said don't." It sounded more like a growl than anything and a small whimper escaped your lips. "Are you going to walk inside or am I going to have to carry you?" He whispers still close to your mouth. If you lifted your head slightly, youโd be kissing.
"I'm not going back inside." You sternly reply, he just laughs and his hold loosens on you.ย
But he doesnโt free you. Instead he throws you clean over his shoulder in a fireman's lift.ย
โPut. Me. Down. Jeno." You scream, hitting his back, but he doesn't listen. Carrying on heading back inside your house.ย
Your cheeks are bright red and you stop your attack on Jenoโs back and decide to clench his shirt in your fists and hide your face in it.
"What's going on here?" You hear Jaeminโs voice and your head flies up.
"Your sister tried to escape," Jeno says laughing, bending down to lower you to the ground.ย
When he stood back up, you were so close your bodies touched again, your breasts rubbed against his firm chest and your nipples stiffened. His eyes glanced down to them and they darken, then he looks to you again and grabs your shoulders, spinning you around to face your brother. You automatically lifted your arms up and over your breasts to cover the obvious arousal.
"Come on __, you know you can't be walking around aimlessly at night." Jaemin chastises you.
"I'm not a child Jaem," you roll your eyes with a shake of your head.
"So what? Grown ass people still get kidnapped!โย
You groan, I'm going to my room."ย
You push past him and head towards the stairs. You turn around seeing Jenoโs smug face knowing heโs got his own way about you coming back inside.
But you wonโt give him the satisfaction. Youโllย just sneak out the window and have your perfect escape. He won't know.ย
Not like heโll come to check โ right?
You spin on your heel as you hear the sound of footsteps following behind you. Jenoโs there, eyes locked on your ass until he sees you looking back down at him and then cocks his head to the side and smiles innocently.ย
โWhat are you doing?โ You spit.ย
"Just making sure you actually do go to your room." He flashes his infamous eye smile that has plagued your dreams since you first met him. "And that your windows are locked. Don't want you running away now do we?" he winks at you.
Heโs so irritating!
With a huff, you turn around and storm your way up the last couple of stairs, making sure your stomps are extra loud. You can just hear Jeno snickering behind you and that only rattles you even more. When you reach the landing you turn immediately and head to the last door of the hallway and pull it open, stepping inside of your bedroom. You go to slam the door shut but a sneaker covered foot stops in between preventing it.
You immediately roll your eyes and groan.ย
"Leave me alone Jeno." You groan, leaning up against the door with your back, pushing it.
"Let me check your windows then I'll leave."
"What kind of request is that?โ You sigh, running a hand through your hair.ย
"Just let me."
"No."
The two of you enter a stare off โ one you both know heโs going to win. And he does, because you donโt even let two whole minutes pass before youโre huffing out a โFine.โย
He makes his way over to your window, making sure it's locked, then he chuckles, drawing your curtains too. The only thing lightening the room was your bedside lamp that you had an awful habit of leaving on. That, and it was the perfect deterrent to make it look like someone was in there, keeping strangers from having sex on your bed.
โAll done?โ You ask, breathy.ย
He smirks, his eyes flashing to your lips again and you swear to god if he does that one more time youโre either going to kick him in the balls or jump on him and kiss him.ย
You force yourself to take a step back and take a deep breath which makes him laugh.
"Well goodnight little Na, don't go sneaking out because I will know about it." He walks off to the door and before he exits you say,
"And how would you possibly know that?"
He looks over his shoulder, his eyes flash up and down your body, "I just will,โ he winks then closes the door behind him.
You huff out and stomp your foot like a child. God you needed to grow a backbone and stop letting that idiot mess with you.ย
Storming into your bathroom you slam the door shut. You strip off your clothes and turn on the shower. Whilst waiting for it to get up to temperature, you sigh.ย
"Let me just lock your windows for ya." You pull a face copying him. "Want me to check that for ya?"
Once youโre done in the shower you climb out of it and dry yourself with a towel.ย
"He's so fucking annoying ugh," you say to yourself as you pull the bathroom door open and saunter into your bedroom naked.ย
You don't even check to see if anyone was in there, too busy ranting about him. And when you feel the cold draft of your bedroom it makes you realise you had just walked into your unlocked bedroom naked. Immediately, you covered your body remembering the party going on downstairs; but on first glance, it appeared no one was in there. Still you quickly grab your oversized grey t-shirt from the end of your bed, throwing it on over your head, but skipping your underwear.ย
Your room was fairly simple with white furniture, a wooden floor, soft pink bedding, a few cuddly toys. The bed lies against the far wall, opposite the door and you leave your lamp on to have a little bit of light to help you sleep.ย
Trying to fall asleep you flip over so your back faces the light. You try a few different sleep scenarios but everything keeps going back to Jeno.
And the way his hand gripped around your neck.ย
You flip over again, keeping your eyes shut, yet, Jeno just waltzes into your mind continuously. Like he won't leave you alone. You feel so much anger coursing through your blood, yet you have this strange pulling into your core.ย
You need to give attention to it โ so you do. And as soon as you slip your hand under the covers, the fantasies start rolling in. Jenoโs arms around you, grabbing at your waist, your hips, your ass, your breasts.
Your breath hitches.
His tongue in your mouth, along your skin, tracing your neck and stomach, then between your folds lapping at you. Your eyes shoot open as you clench your thighs together and immediately feel the wetness.
It was just too much to ignore. This wasnโt going away. You already knew that.ย
You just needed some relief and then youโll be free for the night. Jeno never needs to know and itโs not like you havenโt done this exact same thing before over him.ย
Your right hand finds your centre first, sliding between the folds and instantly feeling the slick wetness there. Slowly and sensually, you begin moving your fingers in a circular motion. Eyes closing instantly, flashes of Jeno now being played before you.
In your mind, it was no longer your hand but his. Rubbing your clit, sending shivers down your spine and causing a small panting moan to escape you.ย
Your left hand begins clutching at the sheets and as you feel your nipples peak and rub against the soft material of your shirt, you have no choice but to swiftly move your hand up and under to take hold of your own breasts and squeeze. You moan again as you begin to work your fingers faster over your clit.
Now in your head, Jeno stood before you shirtless. Seeing the ripples in the muscles of his abs, he flexes his arms, making you grow weaker. But you always felt like this whenever you saw him shirtless at the pool, or the beach.ย
And you couldn't deny how fucking sexy he was โ you wouldnโt?โ
"Whatโre you thinking about?"ย
You pause instantly, back arched, orgasm growing close and eyes squeezed shut. You can't decipher whether that voice was in your head or in real life so you just grow still and relax, trying to pretend it didnโt happen.ย
Your breathing which was already heavy, grows even more so, this time with panic and worry. You don't want to open your eyes, scared of what you might see because you recognised that voice.
At least, youโre really fucking hoping Jenoโs voice is all in your head, because youโre seconds away from orgasm.
"I asked you a question."ย
Your eyes fly open. Heโs definitely not in your head.ย
Ripping your hand away from your clit, you pull the other away from your nipple and force yourself into a seated position with your hands splayed behind to hold you up. You scream on instinct, he doesn't so much as flinch as he stands at the end of your bed.ย
His eyes are dark, head low and looking up at you through his lashes. He has that smirk on his face, and his hands are fidgeting, rolling his fingers against his palm. Your eyes roam his body as your scream continues and you wish you hadn't, only because your scream turned into a moan as you spied his hard erection pushing against his jeans.
You gasp and look back at his face.ย
"What're you doing Jeno?" You whisper-shout, even though the party downstairs would make it difficult for anyone to hear you anyway.ย
Still, you didnโt want any party goers walking in on a flustered you in bed with Jeno and his very large, very prominent erection, standing at the base.ย
Fuck. It's so big. You can tell from how it's breaking at the seams of his jeans to be let free. Your mouth waters at the sheer thought of his dick โ wondering what it looks like, how it feels in your hands, in your mouth โ how it tastes.ย
Fuck no. Absolutely not.ย
You shake your head, trying to rid the thoughts and ignore the fact your core is pulsing right now, begging for one last touch so you can explode into orgasm. You really fucking needed it.
"I asked you what you were thinking about?" He says lowly, and it causes your breathing to still.
โH-how long have you been standing there?" You whimper.ย
He shrugs, โThat doesn't matter, what does matter is-" he moves his head up, looking you dead in the eyes as he cracks his neck and then his fists in each hand. "-What you were thinking about whilst touching yourself? Was it me?"ย
He smirks again and you stood up, throwing the duvet off of your legs.ย
"Not a chance," He says sternly. You look at him again, face paling.ย
"What do you mean, no?" you ask, cocking your head.
"I mean don't you fucking move-" His tongue came out to lap at his bottom lip as his eyes moved down your body, down your legs.ย
You instantly went to grab the duvet again but he grabbed it first, ripping it from the bed and throwing it across the room. You get down on all fours, crawling to try and get it before him.ย
"Jeno!" You exclaim, reaching your hand out for it but it was too far away. You look up at him on all fours, and from this angle... God. You gulp.ย
"Give me my cover."
You try to wash away every fantasy of being in this position before him but you can't ignore the way you need his hard cock, seeping at the tip and begging for you to lick it, to suck it.ย
Stop. No. Not now.
His hand comes to the side of your face, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear and you shiver at the touch.ย
"Lie. Back. On. The. Bed." He commands.
Your eyes flutter shut for a moment and then slowly, you move to follow his command until you are back down on the bed. You keep your legs closed and hands on your stomach.ย
You werenโt sure why youโre listening to him โ obeying him . But something in you, some instinct is just screaming at you to let this play out, see what he wants.
"Touch yourself." He says and you blanch, your eyes growing wide and you sit up again, but one stern look from him has you lying back down again. "Touch yourself and tell me what you think of, how you feel, tell me everything __."
Your name. He never bothers to call you that. Usually emphasising how youโre his best friendโs little sister with the nickname heโd given you. But honestly, youโre thankful for the nickname because hearing your actual name from his lips, all nasally and sensual, sends you spiralling.ย
It makes you putty in his hands. And as for your hands? Well, they slowly spread your legs wide revealing your soaking wet cunt to him. You keep your eyes pierced on him, watching how his breath hitches, eyes glued to you. The way he automatically grabs his cock through his jeans and squeezes is like a reflex. Closing his eyes only briefly before they're back on you, on your core.ย
You feel yourself growing red, the heat of embarrassment consuming you whole as you slide your hand down your stomach. As soon as your fingers make contact with your clit, your hips are bucking off of the bed and your back starts to curve. Building up your arousal doesn't take long. You were already half there, teetering on the edge.ย
Except this time your eyes lock onto Jenoโs for real whilst your fingers are moving, soft moans leaving your lips. You spy his own hand on his cock, he hasn't pulled it free but he moves his hand back and forth over his shaft. You can see the way his arms tense as he moves and watches you.
You throw your head back with another moan. Seeing him stood there isn't enough, you need something more. You need him climbing on top of you, replacing your fingers with his. His hot breath against your neck as he rubs you harder and faster.ย
"What are you thinking about?"
"You." You say breathily.
"What about me?"
Your eyes shoot open to stare at him, he looks tense and flustered. Just as bad as you. His hand stops moving on his cock and you make a mental note that he might've been close. Too close. And this might be over too soon.
"Your fingers on my clit, rubbing me," you throw your head back as the fantasy flashes again.ย
"Yes, and what else?" He growls.ย
"Your mouth." You breathe again.
"My mouth, huh?" He bites and your fantasy continues.ย
"Yes. Everywhere." You cry out, orgasm seconds away. "Your mouth on me, about to- God, Jeno I'm gonna come,โ your back arches, hips bucking, fingers moving so fast and rough.ย
"Look at me." Your eyes fly open at the command. "I want you to come whilst looking at me."
And you do. The sheer dominance radiating off of him is the final straw that has you crashing down.ย
Your orgasm rips through you as your hips lift so far off the bed. You moved your fingers through your orgasm, riding it out but finally, your hips fell back to the bed and you let out a heavy breath.
Before you could even open your eyes again, you felt two large arms wrap under your thighs gripping your hips, and suddenly youโre yanked to the end of the bed. Your eyes snap open, and your head lifts up as you spy Jeno on his knees at the end of the bed, his mouth centimetres from your dripping pussy.
"J-Jeno,โ you mumble, just the sight of him has you moaning.ย
Youโre not sure if getting yourself off in front of him was the moment you both decided to cross the line; but now him manoeuvring between your legs, you knew you definitely had. Regardless, you know now you aren't ever going back to the dynamic you had before.ย
"Iโm gonna make those fantasies come to life baby.โย
He doesn't miss a beat. His tongue comes out and swipes a long lick up and through your folds. All common sense leaves your head as you fall back against the bed.ย
"God, you taste so good. I fucking knew you would."ย
Heโs thought about this? You know you have.ย
He repeats the motion again, this time focusing on your clit, making sure to run a smooth stripe along it, circling it only slightly, enough to have you wriggling. One of his hands splays over your stomach, holding your hips down.ย
"I want you to come on my tongue. I want to taste every drop of you,โ you gulp, looking down at him between your thighs. You don't miss the dark pupils in his eyes and that daring look, the one telling you to follow his instructions.ย
"Jeno, oh my god,โ you cry out, your head flying back as his mouth attacks your clit. He sucks it in, flicking his tongue all over in a frenzied motion.ย
You know he knows all the right ways to make a girl squirm. And you are fucking squirming. All over the fucking bed, youโd be breaking free from him if he didn't have his large veined hand holding your stomach down. Your stomach is now on show. Your t-shirt has risen up to just below your breasts and you see the way his eyes watch the movement as you move about, tits bouncing around.
And as if he can hear your thoughts he says,
"Take your top off."ย
You do it without question, lifting the hem and throwing it over your head. Now youโre laying there completely naked. His hand that was on your stomach comes up and takes hold of one breast, instantly taking your nipple between his fingers and you hear him, no you feel him, moan into your pussy.ย
The vibrations cause you to cry out, hands knuckling the bedsheets.ย
"You're so fucking hot __, God." He murmurs before attacking you again, his mouth working wonders.
And that tongue. Youโre so close. You can feel it.ย
Then you feel as he slides two fingers into you. Jeno curls his fingers inside of you, hitting some sort of sensitive spot, and as soon as his fingers massage that area inside you and his mouth returns to your clit, you explode.
You don't even know if the music downstairs would cover your screams as you fell into ecstasy. His hand on your breast doesnโtย move, but the one that had been hooked on your hip moves to splay against your stomach holding you down as he laps at you, riding you through your second orgasm until you couldnโt take it anymore. He pulls his fingers out, then his mouth away from you at just the right time.
You lay there spent. Completely.ย
Eyes fluttering open. Jeno stood between your legs looking down at you. His cock looked painful in his jeans. You had once felt exhausted and ready to fall asleep but as soon as you saw his erection you shot up in your seat. You immediately fumble with his jeans until his hand comes to your jaw, pulling your head up to look into his eyes. He stares for a moment before blinking, taking a deep breath.
"You don't have to- I didn't do that for you to-"
"I want to. I want this." You nod eagerly,"I want you.โย
You lick your lips and it's as if something snaps in him, that moment of care vanishes and he lets go of your chin.
"Well then, suck my cock,โ he says, standing there and you do as youโre told.
You unfasten his jeans, pull them down and then his underwear. His large erect cock springs free instantly and without a second thought you take hold of him in your hand. Your hands look tiny against his dick.ย
You move your hand slowly up and down his cock, and notice how his thighs tense, then his stomach and you follow your eyes up until you meet his face. His head is hung low, eyes dark and hands clenched by his sides. Keeping your eyes on his, you lean forward and spy the precum, flicking your tongue out and taking it in to swallow down with a moan that makes him grunt.ย
You moved so that your face was closer to his balls, then you stroked your tongue all along his length, and felt the way he flexed beneath your muscle. Thereโs a cocky smirk covering your face when you move back to the top and suck his tip into your mouth.
"Do you like sucking my cock?" He asks, his hand threading into your hair to start pulling on the roots to yank your head backwards.ย
"Do you like it when I suck your cock, Jeno?" You flip the question with a smile the power in your hands. You continue working him and he flexes his hand in your hair.
"That's how you wanna play?" He grins at you.
You pretend to think for a moment, "Iโm not playing anything." You move your head closer down his length, lickingย another long stripe hearing how he curses under his breath and thrusts his hips towards you. "I just want to suck your cock."ย
With that, you take him into your mouth, sliding down until you reach your limit. You can't take him whole, heโs way too big for that, but you take what you can. He coughs and splutters a bunch of inaudible words, but you just pull back up and repeat the motion, continuing to take him back into your throat.ย
His hand stays threaded in your hair, keeping a rough hold so that you can't pull away โ not that you wanted to.ย ย
You love every second. Even as you feel him tensing, his hips moving as he thrusts into your mouth. You look up through your lashes to see his head thrown back as he moans out and hisses every so often when you drag your teeth along his cock. You can tell he likes it as the precum coats your tongue. That and the way he doesn't tell you to stop.ย
"Do. That. Again."
And you do, watching his head fall forwards."Such a pretty sight, my cock filling your mouth. What do you think your brother would think about this?" he smirks and your face falls pale.
You almost stop sucking his dick but he doesn't let you, slamming his hips forwards so his cock hits the back of your throat.
Your brother.
Not a thought you want to think about right now but it is something you needed to consider. This was his best friend. Youโd finally gotten the man so forbidden, always out of bounds. The whole time you didnโt know that he wanted you as much as you wanted him.ย
You moan uncontrollably, and it must send vibrations along his cock as you feel it twitch in your mouth, his thrusts become sloppy and his grip on your hand grows tighter.ย
"Fuck, __, I'm gonna come." He grits out. "Are you gonna let me come in that pretty mouth of yours?"ย
You look up at him. You can't speak so you try to nod.ย
"God, youโve always been the death of me," He thrusts several more times as you slide your tongue all over his length and tip.ย
You do it a final time as you take him to the back of your throat, gliding your teeth along him which must've been his undoing as you felt the hot steaming come splatter against the back of your throat.ย
You pulled him out your mouth slowly. Even as he is softening he is still thick and large. You kitten lick the tip as he hisses, causing him to loosen his grip in your hair and you sit back, making sure to obviously gulp so he knows you swallowed every last drop of him. Leaning forwards, his hand comes to your chin and he moves his mouth so close to your you think he might kiss you but instead he says,
"Good girl."ย
You hate the way those two words made you clench your thighs together. You thought the two orgasms were enough but no, youโre ready for more. You need more.ย
Heโs quick to remove his shirt, and as he lifts his arms his abs flex. You are point-blank gawking at him standing before you, making him smirk.ย
That snaps you out of it. Remembering you are sitting here, soaking wet and naked before him. You crawl back on the bed and then realise you have no duvet so you have to pull your knees to your chest and cross your arms over your knees to cover yourself.ย
He watches you, laughs and then shakes his head. He then moves, shoving off his jeans and underwear the rest of the way off until they both land on the floor.
"Wh-What are you doing?" You ask stuttering, thinking he should actually be getting dressed to leave.
"What do you think I'm doing?" he asks.ย
Can't he ever just give you a simple answer?ย
Then you notice how his cock has sprung to life again and his hand moves to touch it. Moving up and down the length as he cracks his neck.
"You're h-hard again?" You stutter, eyes glued to the impressive size of him.ย
"I'm always hard for you baby." He winks and for once, it didn't make you want to punch him.ย
"Jeno, we can't." You shake your head.
ย Youโre already way past the line. Sex would destroy the whole scale. Still, the idea of him, his cock inside of you, whispering filthy things in your ear... it isn't something you can ignore.ย
"You want it." He says point blankly.ย
You gulp and remain silent. He moves onto the bed, kneeling and then crawls towards you until he is over you. His hair has fallen over his eyes โ so fucking hot. "I know you want it, why try to deny it?" He cocks his head to the side, smugly.
"I-I'm not." You fidget.ย
โYes, you are." He ducks his head low, burying it in your neck. You feel his warm breath and your heartbeat rackets so loud. "You don't want to want me to fuck you,โ His teeth graze your neck, sending you into a panting mess as he sucks and bites.ย
He then pulls away and laps at the mark you know is there, the one he put there as a reminder tomorrow when you come to your senses that you did this.
"So Iโll ask again. What do you want?" He looks down at you, plump pink lips swollen and wet from his constant licking and biting them.ย
Youโre going to let your brothers best friend fuck you. And youโre going to love every second of it.
Not wasting another moment longer to think, you grab hold of his neck and lift your head whilst pulling him to you to smash your lips together. Thereโs heat, fire, and explosions of electricity.ย
Your hands claw at his neck, his back, his sides. Anything to pull him closer. His crotch, his hard cock, grinds against your soaking hole and you groan out whilst continuing to kiss him. Both so desperate for each other. His hands skim down your body, kneading your breasts, your hips. He grabs hold of anywhere and everywhere.ย
His lips detach from yours, giving you a moment to see how swollen they are before they're attacking your neck. He peppers kisses along your jaw, not sweet kisses but hard and sloppy kisses. Sucking and biting the skin causing your back to arch into his chest, pushing your breasts against him, making him moan. He thrusts his hips forwards, his cock sliding between your folds, hitting against your clit making you quiver.
"Fuck, we really shouldn't be doing this." He continues kissing you down your neck, reaching your collar bones that he also decides to leave marks on.ย
"Jeno please," you cry out. Both of his hands move to your hips to hold you still.ย
"Please what baby?" He smirks before moving lower to take one of your nipples into his mouth.
"Fuck Jeno,โ you cry out as he flicks his tongue over the bud, biting it harshly so you cry out again then soothing it with a soft warm suck.
"Please what baby?" He repeats.ย
"Fuck me. Now!โ
"And what about your brother?" he brings him up again and you roll your eyes.ย
"Stop bringing him up," You moan as he takes your other nipple into his mouth, repeating the process.
"He'll kill us if he finds out." he grins.
"Then he can't find out," You pant out of breath as Jeno moves.
His face is so close to yours that your lips are only just touching, his chest is pushed against you and his cock sits lodged between your folds. You try to shift to gain some friction against your clit but his grip holds you still. His eyes flicker across your face then he says,
"I won't tell if you won't?" His lips caress yours in the faintest of movements. You flick your tongue out to wet your lips, but in the process he bites onto your muscle making you wince then moan, "What do you think, huh?โย
Thereโs no room for discussion โ your body wonโt let you.ย
"I won't tell if you won't."
He doesn't miss a beat once he gets your approval. His lips are on yours as his hips thrust forwards. His cock thrusting inside of you, tearing you open as you pull your mouth away to cry out.
"Holy fuck."
He stills once inside you, making sure to push as far as possible until his pelvis meets your skin. Your legs wrap around his waist instantly.
"You feel so fucking good." He breaks from your kiss to breathe. "I always knew you would but this-" he looks down to where you are connected and he thrusts further, trying to get deeper but he can't possibly. "-this is better than anything I could've imagined."ย
"Move, please." You grunt trying to lift your hips to encourage some movement. His eyes fly open, dark and daring.ย
"Beg me." He smirks and does a tiny thrust, a teasing thrust.
"Fuck off,โ you pant, trying to do it yourself but he uses his hips to pin you to the bed.
"Beg." He smiles and cocks his head to one side. "Me."
You hated his arrogance. But fuck, you want him so bad. So badly that you will beg.
"Please fuck me, Jeno." He pulls out of you and you suck in a deep breath.
"Again." He grins now.ย
You can't bear to look at him but looking down means watching as he holds just the tip inside of me.
"Please. Fuck. Me." You pant, half moaning, begging for him.ย
He thrusts so hard into you, you wince and moan out in pleasure. He hit so deep inside that youโre sure youโll bruise.
"Anything for you, __,โ he whispers in your ear before sucking and biting on the lobe.ย
Then he's pulling out and thrusting into you. Again. And again. And again. Harder and harder each time. Faster and faster. You lose your breath, becoming a big ball of pants and moans โ just likeย Jeno.
God, the sounds he makes. Youโve never heard someone so vocal before, but fuck it's hot. The small grunts he makes when he fucks you, the groans when you clench around his cock and feel yourself building. He moves his hands under your ass to lift it, plummeting into you from a new angle, going so much deeper.
"Your pussy is so tight. Fuck,โ He says between thrusts, and gritted teeth.ย
He seems to have found a weak spot right under your ear that has you clenching like mad around his cock. And he loves it.ย
"How have you just been there in front of me this whole time? How have I stayed away from you?" He seems to be asking himself because he doesnโt press you for a reply.ย
He removes his lips from your neck and sits back on his heels, his cock still inside of you, slowing his thrusts and he lifts your legs up, moving them over his shoulders. His head moves from side to side, placing a soft kiss on each ankle and for one second. Youโre dumbfounded as he looks at you, a daring smirk written across his face.ย
He wraps his arms around your thighs, locking your legs in a straight position against his chest on either side of his head, and then he begins pounding into you again. However this time, he moves one of his hands to your centre, his thumb moving closer to your clit. You feel how it grazes your nerves. He strums it once. Twice. Three times then you're wriggling around like a mess, back arching off as your orgasm tears through your body and you explode into euphoria. Again.
He rides you through it, fucking you as you clench and squeeze around him. A string of curse words come out of him, you feel him so close but he doesn't come. He stops stroking your clit as you batted his hand away, you didn't realise you had been clenching the sheets with white knuckles until you relax your hands and feel a cramp in your palm.
Jeno slows his thrusts until he stills inside of you, his chest is moving up and down with each of his heavy breaths. You move your legs off of his shoulders, enjoying the movements as your legs feel strained too.
But as soon as your feet hit the bed, he grabs you and flips you so you land on your stomach. He pulls your hips up and slides into you again.
"Fuck!" You scream as he slams into you unapologetically. One hand holding your hip, the other trails along your back as he begins fucking you from behind. He leans over you, still ploughing, and comes closer to your ear.
"I always wanted to fuck you like this, you are always strutting around showing off, your ass? Do you like teasing me?"ย
You don't even know what you like right now. Mind too focused on needed Jeno to fuck you any way he pleased.ย
He grins, then shoves your head back down into the mattress, straightening his back and fucks you harder than you think youโve ever have been before. You couldn't keep up with the movements, head a complete daze from all of the orgasms that he had given you.
You come to a conscious mind when a hard slap landed on your ass, it made your pussy throb so he did it again, and again, rubbing over the area abd soothing it before doing it again. Each time it made you clench around him.ย
"Jeno," you cry out between thrusts.
"Yeah, baby?" His voice sounded so much deeper, which told you he was close. That and the way his thrusts grew random and unstable.
"Want you to come in me," You moan, clenching the sheets again.ย
"I'm not wearing a condom," He grits through his teeth.ย
"I'm on the pill,โ you manage to say between heavy breaths. You needed him to come in you now.ย
He shakes his head, "Last thing I need is to get my best friend's little sister pregnant." And that was that because he thrust a few more times, then pulls out, and instantly, all over your ass and back you felt a hot liquid splatter about.ย
As soon as his grip left your hip you fell straight down onto the mattress, and your body was thankful for it. Everything hurt. He'd destroyed you. Fucked you, well and truly. And you couldn't stop the smile on your face.
"I'll go get a cloth." He said through some heavy breaths then climbed off of the bed and went to your bathroom. He emerged a moment later, used the warm cloth to clean up his mess although you notice him take a minute to look at it.
"Admiring your work?" You asked him through a laugh, he looked at you and shook his head chuckling.ย
"Trust me, if I could take a picture I would,โ he wipes it away. Then he returned to the bathroom to throw the cloth in the hamper but as soon as he stood in the doorway of you heard three loud knocks on your bedroom door.ย
"__? You in there? Have you seen Jeno?"ย
You shot up in bed, suddenly not tired or spent. Jenoโs eyes grew wide too.
You lifted your finger to your lips and gestured to Jeno to stay in the bathroom. He didn't hesitate as he shuts the door.ย
Jaemin would fucking kill him and you, without a doubt. Only moments ago you had his best friendโs come covering your ass.ย
"One second," you shout,ย jumping out of bed and grabbing your T-shirt. Then you rush over to the door, paint on your best sleeping face and yawn whilst opening it.ย
"Oh, you were asleep?" Jaemin stood on the other side, hands braced on either side of the door frame.
You fake another yawn. He looks behind you and you turn too, fearful Jeno was standing there but then you spied your duvet cover on the other side of the room. Jamein frowned and looked back to you.ย
"I was hot." You shrug.ย
"Shit sorry," He quickly says. "I just can't find Jeno anywhere.โย
"Heโs your friend not mine.โ
"I donโt understand why you two hate each other," He rolls his eyes and you can't help but scoff at the irony.ย
Hate wasnโt exactly the word youโd use for the guy that was just 8 inches deep inside of you.ย
"Well, he's probably off getting high or fucking some girl.โย
โBetter not be in our parentโs bed again,โ he huffs, and your eyes go wide. โFuck, he better not be doing it in my bed either,โ he says to himself.ย
And with that, he storms away heading for his room. Chuckling, you shut the door and Jeno emerges from the bathroom, a towel now wrapped around his waist and he stands there facing you.ย
"That was close."
"Too close." You sigh.ย
He dresses himself as you climb back in bed, getting your duvet back on and covering yourself with it. He walks over to the door and pulls it open, peeking outside to check the coast is clear, then once he does he turns to look over his shoulder at you.
"Our secret?" He says.
"Our secret." You nod and he steps out, not looking back and shuts the door.
You lie back on your bed, head falling into your pillows and laugh.ย
But then you shake your head processing it all, moving your hand to cover your mouth, looking at the ceiling.ย
PAIRING: mark lee x reader
GENRE: fwb, f2l, crack humour, fluff, smut, angst
WORD COUNT: 13.2k
SYNOPSIS: getting into a friends with benefits situation with your all time best friend was so (not) easy
CONTENT WARNINGS: explicit content, oral (f & m receiving), fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, sofa sex, doggy, creampies, big dick mark as always (he gets cocky bc his cock is big), a lot of crack humour, kissing, make-outs, sorta slow burn, heavily implied jaemin x reader moments, alcohol consumption, mentions of weed
[AN]: a thank you gift for being patient with me while i take some time off, and also a thank you gift for the follower milestone. you guys are insane.. i love you.
โWait, you what?โ You screech incredulously, not caring about the loudness of your tone as you abruptly straighten up in your seat, the legs squeaking against the wooden flooring of the library. Other students with their heads shoved in books and laptop screens peek over to shush you angrily, one warning you about the volume of your voice but you pay them no attention as youโre staring wide eyed at Mark who sits across from you sheepishly.ย
Mark Leeโone of the hot throbs living on campus, the smartest and kindest guy in class, and the biggest marvel freak has been your bestest friend for the past few years, having met in the middle of a schoolโs basketball court where fourteen-year-old Mark had tried to shoot some hoops to impress his newfound friends, only for the ball to come flying straight at your face and leaving you with a swollen eyeball and a busted up nose.
Mark was unbelievably apologetic, buying jellies and ripping up flowers from potted plants to give to you, begging for your forgiveness over and over again until you socked him in the face, giving him a hefty nosebleed and a bruised cheek. A toothy grin was spread across your cheeks as you had taken the gifts out of his hands, a happy โnow weโre even!โ leaving your lips as you had ripped open the packet, offering a jelly, offering your friendship.
The two of you became inseparable and if someone saw one of you, they knew that the other would be trailing along behind them. You were two peas in a pod, the dynamic duo. You were so joined at the hip that when you both enrolled for college, you tried signing up for a dorm on campus, wanting to be roommates.ย
It didnโt happen much to both of your dismay. Mark ended up rooming with one of his friends, Jaemin, while you got stuck with some girl you didnโt even know but had become acquainted with over a short period of time.
Still, you and Mark never strayed far from each other even with your roommates lingering around. Mark slept over at your place from time to time and vice versa, youโre certain that he even has a drawer for himself in your dresser filled with spare shirts, sweatpants and underwear. A lot of your mutual friends found it suspicious how you two could be so close with nothing going on, complaining how neither of you could be just friends even though it was the truth. You are just friends, youโre best friends.
โIโm just saying youโre complaining about not hooking up with someone for a few days while I havenโt slept with someone for, like, a monthโ Mark repeats to you with flushed cheeks, adjusting the black cap on his head with one hand while other skilfully flips a pen around his fingers, bottom lip jutting out. โTimes are hard, dude. I got assignments coming out of my assโโ
โThereโs no way you havenโt hooked up with someone recentlyโ You hiss between teeth, refusing to believe a word that comes out of his mouth when heโs talking about such nonsense. A student from the table next to yours turns around in their seat in annoyance to look at you, pressing their finger aggressively against their lips to tell you to quiet down and you scoff, throwing them the middle finger with your own irritancy and annoyance.
โCan you not?โ Mark scolds you as he wraps his hand around your own, squeezing in warning as he pushes it back down to the table and sends the student an apologetic smile, and as always, it works like a charm as they shyly smile back and return back to their book. It makes you scoff again and Mark is quick to look at you, โIโm telling you the truth, you knowโ
โBullshitโ You murmur, sending him a glare. โThat girl from my study group was over at your dorm last weekendโI saw her snapchat storiesโ
โDude, weโre in the same study group. She came over for some of my notes and stayed longer because Jaemin offered her an ounce of his โpremium weedโโ Mark explains, putting emphasis around the word โpremium weedโ which has you snorting, knowing that there was nothing premium about Jaeminโs stash. โShe eventually ended up sleeping over and fucking Jeno anywaysโ
Your face contorts into a look of confusion at that, โWhat? Jeno isnโt even your roommate?โ
โI know,โ Mark grimaces. โJaeminโs sheets are still in the dryerโ
โOhโฆโ You pause, humming as the realisation finally hits you. โSo thatโs why Jaemin didnโt have any sheets on his bed when I came over on Mondayโ
โYeaโwait, you came over Monday?โ Markโs head snaps towards you, eyes narrowing in on you as he jabs his pen in your direction. โDid you fuck in my bed?!
โNo, of course notโ You scoff, deeply offended by his accusation and Mark lets out a sigh of relief, relaxing his shoulders as he leans back into his chair. โWe actually fucked on the sofaโโ
โAre you fucking kidding mโโ
โThatโs besides the point!!โ You cut him off before he can grill into you, silencing him as you raise your hand in front of his face as he tries to retaliate again. โYou havenโt fucked anyone in a month, Mark. Thatโsโฆ thatโs blasphemy!!โ
Mark deadpans, โIโm pretty sure thatโs not blasphemyโ
โWhatever, you know what I meanโ You discard it, shoving your books and pens as far away from you as you possibly could, no longer interested in studying the endless amount of words on that page now that youโve discovered your best friend hasnโt gotten laid in so long. You sit comfortably in your chair as you fully face him, tucking your legs beneath you. โI canโt believe you fucked someone in a monthโฆโ
โYouโre telling meโ Mark huffs, deciding to push away his studies too for the time being as he rubs at his face in frustration, groaning beneath his palms. You console him with a frown, rubbing his shoulder in pity and Mark drops his hands to his lap, looking over at you with a glare. โI canโt believe you didnโt believe me, dudeโฆ why would I lie about something like that?!โ
โI donโt knowโyou fuck more than I do, of course Iโm not gonna believe a word you say when you tell me something like that!!โ Youโre quick to defend yourself, both you and Mark knowing youโre speaking the truth.ย
Mark does fuck more than you. His boyish charm and adorable face doesnโt hide the fact that his body count is currently sitting in its twenties and that his online bank statements show how many packs of condoms heโs buying weekly, and maybe a few plan Bโs lingering there somewhere for extra precaution. He was always on the safe side which didnโt surprise you, he was nowhere ready to be extremely stupid and possibly impregnate someone, especially a stranger.ย
โDudeโฆ you didnโt have to say it out loud like thatโฆโ Mark mutters under his breath, cheeks dusting a slight pink as another student turns around in their seat to glare at the pair of you and comically widens her eyes as she meets Markโs, shyly tucking her hair behind her ears with a kind smile that Mark reciprocates. You scoff at her reaction and lean back in your seat just as Markโs attention is brought back to you. โAre we done with this conversation? Iโd like to change the topic from my non-existent sex life to something more appealingโ
โFineโฆ you still going to Johnnyโs later?โ
โNah, heโs got some important family thing to go to so weโre hanging another timeโ Mark sighs softly, taking the cap off of his head to run his fingers through his hair before adjusting it back on. โYou cool if I came over with you?โ
โSureโ You grin, already shoving your books into your tote bag, eager to leave the library as soon as you possibly can. Mark snorts in amusement but follows closely behind as he shoves his own belongings into his backpack and rests the strap on his shoulder. You turn your head to see the girl still staring over at Mark and you smirk, slamming one hand on the desk in front of her to get her attention before jabbing your thumb in Markโs direction. โIf you want his number, I can give it to you. Heโs been stuck in a dry spell recently soโโ
Markโs fingers curl around your elbow, dragging you away from the traumatised girl with a huff, โMoveโ
โIโve been thinking about somethingโฆโ You begin after a few hefty hours of studying and bingeing out on food, dropping your chopsticks in the empty ramen cup and pushing it to the side. Mark sits beside you on the sofa, his own ramen cup in hand as he stares at his laptop screen, taking in the words that need to be remembered for his class.
Mark gives you a pointed look as he slurps his ramen, โThat doesnโt sound goodโ
โWow, hilariousโ You deadpan with a roll of your eyes as he chuckles under his breath, turning his head back to the laptop screen. โAnywayโand hear me out before you say some dumbass shitโIโve been thinking about something that relates to that little problem we both have, and I may have just thought of a way to fix itโ
โWhy are you still hung up on this?โ Mark whines between mouthfuls. โI donโt want to be reminded that Iโm not having sex, dudeโ"
โAh!โ You hold up your hand to shush him and he goes cross eyed to stare at your palm. โI said hear me outโ
โOkayโ
โGreat! Okay, so, me and you are the best of friends, right? Like, we always help each other out andโโ
โWhere is this going?โ
โHear. Me. Outโ You warn once more and Mark sighs, nodding his head to let you continue. โWe always help each other out, right? And thereโs no awkwardness between us at all which makes us close. Do you remember that time we had to make-out in front of Sejun so he would stop awkwardly hitting on me? And that time I pretended to be your girlfriend so Rina would get the hint that you didnโt want to fuck her anymore?โ
โThat didnโt exactly work out because we slept with them a few days after it happenedโโ
โThatโs not the pointโ You say as you frustratingly rub at your temples. โThe point is that we always help each other out, no matter what the situation is because weโre best friends. So, as best friends, I think we should help each other out with our little situationโ
โAnd how can we help each other outโ
โBy fucking each otherโ The second those words leave your lips, Mark chokes on his ramen, fist banging against his chest as he coughs, eyes watery and face red and it has you cackling, wishing you had your phone nearby to take a picture. Mark takes deep breaths as he finally consumes air, reaching down to grab his bottle of water that rests beside the leg of the sofa, gulping it down almost immediately. โYouโre so dramaticโ
โAnd youโre crazy!!โ Mark shoots back, water droplets falling from his chin as he looks at you with wide eyes. โDo you realise what you just said?โ
You grin, โPerfectly!โ
โWeโre not fucking each other, itโll be too weirdโ You instantly find offense to that, your jaw dropping and Mark rolls his eyes. โWeโre best friends. Best friends donโt do that type of shitโStop looking at me like that!โ
You huff, turning your head away from him childishly, โIโm just trying to help us out. I donโt think itโll be weird, people have done weirderโ
โDo you know how many friendships have been ruined because they fucked?โ Mark questions you and you take a moment to ponder, wincing as you can easily name a few from the top of your head. โExactly. As much as I find you attractive, Iโm not going to ruin our friendship. Weโve been best friends for too longโ
Your head slowly whirls back to Mark whoโs already staring at you and you smile, flirtily batting your eyelashes at him, โYou think Iโm attractive?โ
โYouโre unbelievable, jesus fucking chriโโ Mark cuts himself off, rubbing his forehead as he exhales deeply due to his frustration. You beam at the thought of getting under his skin, but you roll your eyes and reach over to press your foot into his side to bring his attention back to you.
Mark looks over at you with a deadpan expression and you grin softly, tilting your head to the side as you admire the view. Youโve always found Mark attractive even if it was in a friendly way, and youโd be lying if you said that sleeping with him has never crossed your mind, but thatโs because youโre nosy and want to see what all the fuss is about when you continuously hear the girls gush about what heโs like in bed.
Some say heโs pretty giving, tending to their needs in all ways possible while others say he comes across as needy and desperate, begging for his cock to be sucked. It piques your interest immenselyโฆ Maybe it was wrong of you to think that way about someone you know so well, but youโre human after all, sometimes you canโt help the way you think.ย
โLookโฆโ You speak first. โWhat I said was just a suggestion, okay? If you donโt want to do it then thatโs fineโโ
โHow do you know that it wonโt ruin our friendship?โ Mark cuts you off and your eyebrows raise in surprise at the question. โWeโve been friends for, like, nine years or something, dudeโฆ I donโt know about you but I donโt want to throw that all away because we messed up and decided to fuck each other just because weโre hornyโ
โWeโre not going to get into anything seriousโ You tell him, crossing your arms over your chest. โSure, weโre probably going to be in some type of friends with benefits situation but weโre not going to include any of that โofficialโ or โexclusiveโ bullshit. We just fuck each other for a release when we canโt find it anywhere else, itโs as simple as that. No complicationsโ
โSoโฆโ Mark purses his lips in deep thought. โWe can still fuck other people?โ
You scoff, โOf course. You think Iโd drop Jaemin for you that easily?โ
โFuck youโ
Your lips curl into a smirk, โIโm hoping you wouldโ
Mark stares at you before chuckling, shaking his head as his tongue pokes at his cheek. The little act spurs you on but you remain seating, wanting Mark to make the first move if he was game in fucking you to help relieve the stress youโre both feeling, maybe Mark more than you considering you fucked Jaemin a few days ago, but you were desperate to be filled again.
You watch Mark ponder for a moment, his bottom lip jutting down deep in thought, brows pulling together as he thinks about the pros and cons. His hands come up to pull the cap off of his head, his hair messily falling in front of his eyes and your thighs press together at the thought of seeing it between your legs with your fingers tangled through the locks. You snort at how deluded you sound.
โWhat time does your roommate come back tonight?โ Mark questions you, his low voice bringing you out of your thoughts and your body buzzes with excitement, reaching over to snag your phone off of the coffee table to check the time and you grin wildly when you realise she wonโt be home for another three hours. You inform him immediately and he nods, โCool. Good to knowโ
โSo?โ You press, chucking your phone back onto the coffee table as you look at him expectedly. โWhatโs it going to be?โ
โNo titlesโโ
โNone at allโ
โWe can still fuck whoever we wantโโ
โEven the neighboursโ
โAnd most importantlyโฆโ Mark pauses with a deep sigh, leaning closer to you and holding up his hand with his pinky finger outstretched. โWeโre still best friendsโ
โItโll be like nothing ever changedโ You say softly with a smile, raising your own hand to curl your pinky finger around his own, squeezing tightly. Itโs silent between you both for a while and you can clearly see the cogs turning inside Markโs head as he thinks about his next move, yet youโre the one that takes the initiative.ย
You rip your hand away from his to throw your arms around his shoulders, dragging him towards you to plant your lips on his in a heated kiss. Youโre surprised at how fast Mark responds as his palms come up to cup your cheeks, tilting his head to the side to kiss you deeper as his tongue moulds with yours.ย
The few drunken kisses youโve shared with Mark to help each other out of situations is nothing like the kiss youโre experiencing now and it catches you extremely off guard. You almost expected him to allow you to take control of the situation and lead him through, but with the way Markโs pushing you down to the sofa and crawling in between your open legs with his lips still attached to yours, youโre stumped.ย
โWaitโ You stop him, pressing your hand against his shoulder to push him back and Mark moves away with puckered lips, his fingers hovering above the waistband of your shorts which causes you to snort, โWhy are we doing this on the sofa when thereโs a perfectly good bed in my room?โ
Mark glares down at you, โThat didnโt stop you and Jaemin fucking on my sofaโ
โActually, there was no sheets on Jaeminโs bed, soโโ
โThink of this as paybackโ Mark smiles at you sweetly and you snarl, knocking your knee against his side with force and he laughs through clenched teeth, โBesides, youโve probably fucked a lot of people on this sofaโฆ. Do you really care?โ
โAre you implying that Iโm a slutโ
โYeahโ
โGod, thatโs so hot of youโ
Mark snorts out a laugh and leans down to reconnect your lips as his hands pull your shorts and underwear down your legs, carelessly throwing them somewhere to the side and you hiss at the cold air that hits, yearning for warmth.ย
Markโs lips trail down your throat and to the collar of your shirt, heading south to where your thighs shake in anticipation, watching as he shifts down to lay between your legs, hands pushing against your knees to spread you apart further.
Your hand reaches down to pull the cap off of his head, revealing his messy hair beneath and you toss it over the sofa, caring so little about where it lands as you thread your fingers through his locks, trying to tug him closer but he barely budges, staring up at you with his brows laced together.
โHurryโ You whine.
โAre you always this impatient?โ
โOf courseโ You look at him like heโs stupid. โWeโre both doing this for a reason and itโs to cum, not to take our sweet little time andโOh fuck!โ
โYou talk too muchโ He drags his tongue through your folds, the pink muscle swirling around your clit and your body jerks, a gasp flying past your lips as you dig your fingers further into his hair, the feeling of his tongue wiggling between your folds and licking upwards to flick over your clit before his fingers tease at your entrance.
Your body goes slack against the sofa cushions as he eases his two digits inside the warmth of your walls, curling his fingers upwards as his lips wrap around your sensitive bud and you whine, tugging on his hair a little harder which causes him to groan, the vibrations causing goosebumps to rise to your skin.ย
Youโre in shock at how well Mark uses his tongue and fingers against you. Youโve heard stories from your girl friends and Mark himself, but you didnโt realise he was this good and it completely caught you off track, unable to control the noises that rip from your chest when he begins to pump his fingers in and out of your pussy while his tongue continues to work wonders on your clit.
โMarkโ You say his name with a moan, thighs twitching and closing in around his head and you feel him smile against your cunt, causing you to squeeze around his head in warning, โStop itโ
โYou gonna cum already?โ He asks as he lifts his head, mouth glistening with your arousal and his fingers hitting the spot that has your toes curling and back arching against the cushions. โYou can cum, if you want. Let it goโ
โYouโre so cockyโ You chuckle, but your amusement slips away and is overcome by pleasure as he pumps his fingers a few more times, the tightening band in your stomach snapping as you cum all over his hand, gasping through high pitched whines and trying to control the convulsing movement of your body.
โThatโs itโ Mark hums, pressing a quick kiss to your clit. โThere you goโฆโ
โOh my godโ You choke out, your hand falling limp on his shoulder as it drops from his hair, your fingers twitching over the material. โWhat the fuck was that?!โ
โMe eating you outโ He answers simply with smugness in his tone, popping his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean and your mouth drops in shock at the action. โYou good?โ
โYeah, goodโ You nod dumbly, completely astonished at how nonchalant Mark is, watching as he tugs his jeans and boxers down his legs awkwardly when he sits up, your eyes immediately zoning in on his cock that slaps against his stomach once freed from its confinements.ย
Truthfully, youโve seen Mark naked as heโs so comfortable stripping in front of you without any thought. But, youโve never seen Mark hard and the sight alone is enough to have your mouth watering in anticipation. Your best friend is huge.ย
โOkayโ Mark speaks to himself, shuffling forwards on his knees and hooking his hands under the back of yours to pull you closer, his thumbs caressing your skin. โYou ready? You know thereโs no turning back from this, right?โ
โAs ready as Iโll ever beโ You grin, wiggling against him excitedly. โGive me what you got, baby!โ
โDonโt call me that, dudeโ Mark tuts, shaking his head as he slowly slides his cock into you. Your eyes slowly start to widen at the stretch, the burn obvious in your thighs and your hand flies down to his in hopes to slow down his movements despite him going as slow as he possibly could.
You breathe steadily through your nose, lips pressed together tightly as you wince at the uncomfortable ache that spreads, your pussy squeezing down on him as if you were trying to prevent him from entering any further.ย
โOwโ You mutter beneath your breath, twisting your hips to try and get comfortable and relax but you wince at the movement you make, causing Mark to raise his head from where youโre connected to look into your eyes, his own pooling with concern.
โYou alright?โ
โMhmโ You hum with a curt nod. โNothing of that significant size has been up there before, you know? Iโm justโฆ feeling uncomfortable, thatโs allโ
His lips curl into a grin, โYou calling my dick big?โ
You give him a hardened glare, โNot as big as your fucking headโ
Mark laughs loudly, his hand laying flat across your lower tummy as he adjusts himself in between your legs, head ducking down to watch himself carefully push into you once more but the second your legs tense up, he sighs apologetically and strokes your tummy as he slides out of you and you whine at the feeling of emptiness, looking at him with a pout.
โHold onโฆโ He tells you softly, gently grabbing your waist to help flip you over on all fours, his hands sliding around your back and pressing down slightly, arching it to hold you in place as you feel his cock prod at your entrance. โThis should feel better. But tell me if it still hurts, okay? I donโt want to hurt you anymoreโ
โJustโโ You grit your teeth together. โJust fuck me, Markโ
โOkayโ Mark whispers as he eases himself into you again at a slow pace and you gasp, your fingers gripping the arm of the sofa, your head dropping to rest on the cushions as you try to control your breathing. The new position was definitely better than the last, but you can still feel him stretch you out to fit you around his cock. โIs my dick really that big?โ
โAre you asking because youโre concerned or because you want me to boost your ego?โ
Mark smiles, โMaybe bothโ
You donโt even get a chance to retaliate as Mark begins to fill you up completely, his hips pressing against your ass and you whine at how full you feel, unable to think properly as he pulls his cock out, leaving the tip nestled in your cunt before thrusting back in.ย
He curses loudly behind you, fingers digging into your hips as he rocks his hips into you, his powerful thrusts sending your body jerking forwards. You squeeze around his cock and he moans, his pace speeding up and you canโt help but fuck yourself back onto him, whining and panting at the pleasure that swirls in the pit of your tummy.ย
The sound of skin slapping against skin is enough to have your eyes rolling back, the lewd sounds driving you even closer to the edge along with his rapid thrusts and continuous cursing. Youโre positive you can hear him mumble about how โfucking tight your pussyโ is. You wouldโve never guessed he was into such dirty talk, Mark continues to amaze you.ย
Your pussy swallows around his length when you feel his hand sneak beneath your body to reach between your fingers, the pads of his fingers rubbing diligent circles on your clit and you mewl, your own hand coming down to latch around his wrist.
โSh...shitโ You slur, drool seeping past the corner of your lips. โSo goodโFuck, donโt stopโsโgoodโ
โIโm not gonna stopโ You hear Mark whisper and you could feel the tears build up in your eyes as Mark leans over your body, holding himself up with one hand on the arm of the sofa, his other playing with your clit as he quickens his thrusts, his cock hitting deeper than before that it has you seeing stars. Your toes curl and your body tenses up as his cock ploughs into your cunt, repeatedly hitting that spot over and over before your second orgasm of the night hits you violently.
Your screams are muffled by your own hand, walls pulsating around his cock as you cum, struggling to hold up your weight as your body falls limp on the sofa, pleasure buzzing through your veins and sending your mind whirling as Mark fucks you through it to reach his own high, moving his hand from your clit to rest on your lower back, arching your ass up to fuck you deeper.
โWhere do you want me to cum?โ He pants, his thumb stroking the top of your ass cheeks. โFuck, tell me where I can cumโ
โAnywhere you wantโ You garble your words, turning your head to the side to look at him, noticing how his eyes widen slightly.ย
โAnywhere?โ Mark repeats as he slows his hips and you nod, yelping in shock when he pulls out of you completely and flips your body around once more, staring at him in surprise as he crawls up your body, resting his one hand on your cheek and pulling down your bottom lip with his thumb. โHere?โ
Instead of giving him a verbal answer, you open wide and Mark grins, pushing the head of his cock into your mouth and sighing as your lips close around him, letting you suckle on his tip as he cums in long spurts down your throat, brows lacing together in pleasure and moaning softly as your tongue presses against his slit, drinking up everything he gives to you.
Itโs silent between you both as Mark removes himself from above you, opting to crash down in the limited space between your body and the sofa, running his fingers through his sweaty hair as he breathes heavily.ย
It takes you a few seconds to comprehend what had just happened, staring between Markโs naked lower half and yours before you abruptly sit up, rolling onto your knees as you stare down at him incredulously.ย
โDude!โ You screech, punching his shoulder with such force that has him wincing.ย
โOw! Jesus Chriโโ
โWhat the fuck?! Why did you tell me you were that good?โ You immediately cut him off, not allowing him to speak as you shake your head. โWe shouldโve done this years ago!!โ
Mark rolls his eyes in annoyance despite the grin that spreads across his lips as he throws his arm over his face, โShut upโ
โOkay, so, let me repeat thatโโ Renjun pauses to chew and swallow his sandwich, pointing between you and Mark on the opposite side of the table โโyou two decided to fuck each other last night because neither of you have fucked someone in a long time and now youโve made some sort of deal that when you canโt find release elsewhere, youโll go to each other?โ
โYeahโ
โWhat the fuck?!โ Renjun exclaims, looking at you both as if youโve grown an extra head before abruptly turning to Donghyuck and Jaemin who sit silently together, watching everything unfold. โWhy arenโt you guys saying anything?!โ
โI donโt think itโs as bad as youโre making it out to beโ Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly as he turns to look at you with his brows laced together, โAlthough, Iโm kind of offended you didnโt ask me to fuck youโ
You grimace, โIt makes me queasy thinking about where your dick has beenโ
โWhen was the last time you got tested, Hyuck?โ Mark teases, a slight smirk curling at the end of his lips as he leans back into his chair, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pants. Donghyuck rolls his eyes and retaliates by throwing him the middle finger to which Mark laughs at.
โAnd youโre okay with this?โ Renjun questions Jaemin who slowly nods as he rolls a blunt beneath the table, lips pursed in concentration.ย
โWhy wouldnโt I be?โ He grumbles, lifting his eyes to Renjun and raises a brow before looking back down to his lap. โBesides, sometimes I get so faded that I canโt even get my dick up. She needs good dick and I canโt give it to her when Iโm that out of itโ
You gasp in awe, reaching out to pinch his cheek, โYou are so thoughtful!โ
โSo Iโm the only sane person that thinks this is a stupid idea?โ Renjun shakes his head in disbelief, biting into his sandwich with a sigh. His eyes widen, a piece of lettuce hanging from his mouth as he erratically pats his pockets, โWhereโs Jeno? Somebody text Jenoโ
โYou know damn well Jeno isnโt going to give a shitโ Donghyuck cackles. โPretty sure he fucked his best girl friend last yearโ
โYeah? And where is she now?โ Renjun looks at you all for an answer and you frown, sinking into your seat with your arms crossed over your chest, โExactly!!โ
โCome on, dude, itโs not like thatโฆโ Mark tries to explain. โWe talked about it. Weโre not doing any of that exclusive or official stuff, weโre not making it weirdโ
โMeaning we can still fuck whoever we wantโ You add on, turning to look at Jaemin with a pretty smile and he looks back at you with a smirk, dropping his left eye into a flirtatious wink before resuming back in rolling his joint.ย
โSo, what Iโm hearing isโโ Donghyuck pauses, leaning his elbows on his table and resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he bats his eyelashes at you, โThereโs still a chance for you to fuck me?โ
โI have more of a chance of getting fucked than you, Hyuckโ Jenoโs voice interrupts from behind and you whiz around in your seat, grinning as you see Jeno nearing towards your table with his jacket in one hand and his books in the other.ย
He greets you all with a smile, placing his belongings down on the table before grabbing an empty chair from another, scraping the metal across the floor as he drags it to place beside Mark, slapping his hand down on his shoulder in greeting as he sits.
โAnyway, what are we talking about?โ
โMark and Y/N fuckedโ Renjun immediately jumps into it and you sigh, throwing your head back in frustration as Mark laughs beside you. โAnd theyโre going to continue to fuck whenever they have no one else to, soโโ
โCoolโ
Renjun stares at Jeno incredulously. โThatโs not cool!! Youโre all helpless, every single one of youโ
Jeno pulls a face, โYou know, itโs not as bad as youโre making it out to beโโ
โThatโs what I said~โ Donghyuck sings.
โโand besides, theyโre grown adults, they can do whatever they wantโ Jenoโs words make your brows raise with little surprise, watching as he flips open his book and grabs the pen that rests behind his ear, tugging off the cap with his teeth before looking at you, โIโm surprised it took you this long to actually hook-up, I thought it wouldโve happened months agoโ
โWhatโs that supposed to mean?โ
โJust means I thought you two wouldโve fucked months agoโ Jeno smiles and shrugs innocently, blowing the cap out of his mouth and catching it with his hand before he begins scribbling on the pages and you roll your eyes, craning your neck over your shoulder to look at Mark who shrugs his own shoulders, not fully understanding the meaning of Jenoโs words but chooses not to dwell on it any longer as he reaches for his drink, sipping through the straw as he gives his attention to Donghyuck who angles his phone in his direction to show him something that you could barely see.
Renjun shakes his head in disbelief, shoving the last remaining bite of his sandwich into his mouth and grabbing his own book out of his backpack to take notes alongside Jeno before comically raising his head up to point his pen at you and Mark.
โAlso, I donโt want to hear any complaining from either of you when this whole โfriends with benefits relationshipโ bullshit ends up going to literal shitโ Renjun warns before slowly turning the pen to point it as himself, โBecause I will laugh in your face and simply say, โI told you soโโ
A scoff leaves your lips as Mark speaks up, โRelax, dude, everything is going to be fine. And besides, it could just be a one time thingโฆ It might not even happen againโ Mark eyes you, โRight?โ
Your lips curl into a smile as you lean your elbows on the table, chin resting on the palm of your hand as you give him a short nod, โRightโ
โMark, Mark, Markโ You moan out his name repeatedly, back arching off of your bed and gripping the pillows behind your head, mouth open wide as Markโs fingers pump in and out of your pussy, waves of slick splashing onto the sheets below and his boxers. He laughs as you shove your face into your arm, body trembling and whines slipping past your lips from the overwhelming sensation of him fucking you with his fingers.
Your legs clamp shut around his hand but heโs already prying you back open with his other, holding them down to the bed as his fingers curl up into the sweet spot that has you trembling through your orgasm, almost bringing yourself to tears at the pressure in the pit of your tummy.
โThere we goโฆโ Mark hums, milking you for every drop you can give. You quiver and gasp as Mark comes to a stop, grinning as he pulls his fingers away from your cunt and you mewl, struggling to raise your foot and kick him in his side but he captures your ankle in his grasp, drawing circles with his fingertips. โYou good?โ
โYou goodโ You mock with a scoff, arms flopping to your sides as you take a deep breath, ignoring the way Mark laughs again. โI felt like I was going crazy... that was intenseโ
โThank youโ Mark cheeses, eyes beaming as he slips off of your bed. โYou need to change your sheets thoughโ
โSo gentlemanly of you to offer to helpโ You mutter sarcastically under your breath with a tut, standing up from the bed and your knees buckle beneath you, causing you to reach out and grab onto a surface to steady yourself, throwing your middle finger up in Markโs direction as he snickers.ย
He tells you to go shower while he takes care of the sheets and you immediately oblige, patting his arm in a quick thank you as you wobble out of your bedroom and into the bathroom, eager to clean yourself up after previous activities.ย
You take a little longer than usual to shower, taking your time to scrub your body clean and even wash your hair, not even caring about what Mark could be doing inside your home as he waits for you, but you pause your routine as you begin to think about your relationship with Mark.
Youโve been hooking up for almost three weeks, showing up at each other's place whenever youโre in need of sex and getting the deed done before hanging out, getting a bite to eat or even watching something on the TV. You still sleep with Jaemin, youโve even fucked Jaemin and Mark on the same day. Mark doesnโt care, and personally neither do you, but you start to recall the amount of times you have chosen Mark over Jaemin, and it was a lot.
You and Mark fuck whenever you have no one else to go to, yet given the choicesโฆ you still choose Mark.ย
โDude!โ Mark bangs his fist on the bathroom door, yanking you out of your thoughts, โI need to piss, hurry up!โ
โJust come in!โ You yell back at him, frowning as you face the stream of water to let the soap run off your body as you mumble, โItโs not like you havenโt barged in beforeโ
You hear the door yank open behind the shower curtain and you poke your head around just in time for Mark to unzip his pants to relieve himself, his head tilting back with a sigh. His eyes meet yours and his brows pull together, giving you an odd look.
โWhat?โ
โCan I ask you a question?โ He blinks before giving you a nod, โAre you still fucking other people?โ
โYeahโ That answer relieves you a bit. โI was with Arin last weekendโ
โOkay, I have another questionโ
โWhy are youโโ
โIโm asking the questionsโ You cut him off and he chuckles, nodding for you to continue as he zips up his pants and washes his hands. โHas Arin, or any other girl, been available on the same day that Iโve asked you to come over?โ
โUmโฆโ Mark ponders for a moment, his bottom lip poking out in deep thought as he dries his hands on the towel. โYeah, I think soโ
โAnd who did you choose to go to?โ
โYouโ It shocks you at how fast he answers and you grip the shower curtain for support, the slippery floor of the shower almost making you tumble. He chose you too. Is that wrong? Youโre uncertain and it makes you feel a little uneasy. Surely there must be a reasonable explanation to why you choose each other instead of fucking the other available people. โWhy are you asking me that anyways?โ
โCuriousโ You say as you close the curtain shut to block him out and continue showering, ignoring the way heโs laughing and muttering beneath his breath how funny you are. โWait, I have another questionโโ
โAsk me when youโre done showeringโ
โWhy?โ Your voice turns sultry as you begin to smirk, โIs knowing that Iโm naked behind this flimsy shower curtain turning you on?โ
Mark doesnโt answer, instead his arm shoots out from behind the curtain, hand curling around the tap to turn the temperature of the water, laughing like a maniac as he hears you scream from the cold water that splashes on your skin.ย
You hated birthdays.ย
Realistically, you hated your birthday. You hated knowing youโre getting older every year, desperately wanting to go back to the ages where all you worried about was not making a fool of yourself in front of someone you crushed on or not knowing the biggest high school gossip about who was seeing who behind whoever's back. Now, at your growing age, all you worry about is failing college and not being able to get a good job to provide a future for yourself.ย
You wish nobody knew it was your birthday, but having such close friends who knew you better than you knew yourself, it wasnโt going to be easy, and you nearly spun around and darted out of campus when you saw Donghyuck twirling a gift bag in hand with helium balloons that spelled out โbirthday girlโ in big, bold letters tied to his wrist.
โOh! There she is!โ
You wanted the ground to swallow you whole.ย
โHappy birthday!โ Donghyuck yells loudly when you reach their circle, letting your backpack drop to the grass beside Jaemin who looks up at you with a dopey smile. Donghyuck shoves the gift bag into your lap when you finally sit down, huffing at the weight of the bag. โI bought you something!!โ
โWe told him not toโ Jeno tells you, a cigarette hanging between his lips as he looks at you through his bangs, โBut as always, Donghyuck doesnโt listenโ
โAnd I never willโ Donghyuck chirps, untying the string of the balloons from around his wrist to tie them around yours instead, ignoring the dark look you give him as he smiles cheekily at you, โLook inside. Itโs all the essentials you need, prettyโ
โI swear to god, If youโโ
โShhโ He presses his fingers against your lips. โLess talking, more lookingโ
You roll your eyes, whacking his hand away from your face before peering into the bag, a soft laugh leaving your lips when you first see two bottles of your favourite alcoholic beverage and a few chocolates, but you immediately deadpan when you see a pack of condoms and a plan B box sandwiched between the pair, staring back at you.
Jaemin peers over your shoulder to drop a premade joint and a few gummies into the bag for later but makes a funny noise when he sees the condom pack, dipping his hand inside the bag to pull it out, throwing it back at Donghyuck who fumbles to catch it.
โHeyโโ
โShe doesnโt use condomsโ
Donghyuck gapes, slowly turning his head towards you with his eyes wide as he leans forward, his nose brushing against yours as he speaks lowly, โAre you sure you donโt want to fuck me?โ
โPositiveโ You giggle and pat his cheek as he whines in defeat, slumping back into his own space. โThank you for the gifts, but pleaseโฆ you know I hate celebrating my birthday. And were the balloons really necessary too? Did you have to make it more obvious?โ
โBut the balloons are prettyโ Donghyuck frowns, tugging on the string.
โShe doesnโt like balloons, dudeโย
Your head whizzes around so quickly that youโre positive you could hear it crack at the speed, grinning wildly when you see Mark standing behind you looking at your balloons in disgust, and your brows raise in surprise when you see Arin beside him. You greet her with a wave and she reciprocates, wishing you a quiet happy birthday which you thank her for and you gesture them both to join you in your circle but Arin shakes her head with an apology, announcing that she has to meet up with someone else.ย
You watch as she places her hand on Markโs bicep and asks if they can meet up later but Mark shakes his head, telling her that he already has plans and her face deflates before nodding in understanding, bidding him and the rest of you goodbye before leaving.
Mark lets out a huff as he drops down to the grass, stretching out his legs and knocking his foot against yours, mouthing you a quick happy birthday and you smile in gratitude.
โArin seems to be hanging out with you a lot recentlyโ Jeno points out, taking a drag of his cigarette and blowing out the smoke in Renjunโs direction, causing him to cough and swat the smoke away with the book heโs got his face buried in. โYou like her?โ
Mark shakes his head, โNo. She was just asking me if I wanted to come over this weekendโ
โAre you?โ
โNahโ Mark mindlessly starts plucking the grass, avoiding everyone's eyes as they zone in on him. โI donโt have time, got some assignments to finish for my classesโ
Hearing him say he hasnโt got the time sparks interest in you and you begin to wonder if Mark would end up asking you for some well needed release. It excites you, especially when you realise you havenโt been under or on top of him in a few days and you press your thighs together at the thought of possibly being dicked down sooner rather than later.ย
Itโs a birthday gift, you think to yourself when you try to give an excuse to why youโre so needy to be fucked by Mark. Itโs just a birthday gift. Yet, you have Jaemin right beside you, someone whoโs easily available and someone who used to be frequent in giving you the best birthday sex.ย
You could ask Jaemin to come over tonight, but why isnโt the question being asked? Why does it feel like youโre stopping yourself from asking something so simple and easy? Perhaps youโre so used to sleeping with Mark that it doesnโt even occur to you to ask someone else anymore. Jaemin doesnโt seem to be bothered, maybe because heโs been getting his fix elsewhere too, so why does it bother you?
A soft call of your name brings you out of your thoughts and you turn your head towards the source, seeing Mark looking back at you with a kind smile. He shuffles further into the circle to get closer to you, voice dipping low as he speaks.
โCome home with me later? I have something for youโ
โWhat is it?โ You ask back, excitement filling your voice. Even though you werenโt a big fan of celebrating your birthday and receiving gifts, there was no doubt in your mind that Mark was probably one of the best people to receive gifts from, knowing he usually goes above and beyond to give you the most memorable birthday. You smile when you remember the three-day spa voucher he gave you last year when he had taken you away for the weekend.
It was the most breath-taking cabin you have ever been to, the sunset above the lake still photographed in your memory. The sight was beautiful, and you were grateful to have seen it with your best friend.
โYouโll find outโ Mark tells you with a smile, refusing to give you a hint of any sort as he turns his attention to Renjun to engage in a conversation and you pout, shoulders slumping in defeat and Donghyuck knocks his arm against yours, voice dipping low as he whispers in your ear.
โThat plan B will come in handy after allโOUCH!โ
โThis is fucking ridiculousโ You giggle as youโre blindly walked in Markโs apartment, his hands covering your eyes to prevent you from seeing anything even though you tried to peek through the gaps between his fingers. Markโs chest rumbles against your back as he laughs, waiting for you to toe off your shoes at the entrance before leading you further into the apartment.
You have the layout completely mapped out in your head from the amount of times youโve been at his place, already knowing that heโs bringing you into the kitchen just by the cold marbling that you feel beneath your feet.
You almost trip as Mark plants you down on a chair and he whispers a countdown in your ears before he removes his hands from your face. Your vision is blurry for a moment and you try to adjust to your surroundings with a few blinks, your jaw dropping in awe as the splotches begin to disperse, allowing you to see whatโs in front of you.
โAre you kidding me?โ You whisper softly in astonishment at the gifts that are presented in front of you on the table. You spot a few of your favourite scented candles stacked on top of each other, a bottle of perfume that you were 100% sure that was sitting in your wishlist on an online store you were browsing a few days prior and a miniature bag with the logo of your favourite jewellery store.ย
You feel overwhelmed, the urge to cry becoming harder to keep at bay as your eyes water and sting, throat tightening over how thoughtful Mark had been. You turn your head towards him with your bottom lip quivering and Mark snickers, pulling a party hat from god knows where and comes closer to you
โYou assholeโ You insult jokingly, using the sleeves of your shirt to wipe at your eyes, hoping that the tears wouldnโt dare fall as Mark secures the pointed hat on top of your head. You point to it, โIsnโt this a little cheesy?โ
Mark rolls his eyes, snapping the elastic bad against your chin for extra measure and you hiss at the slight sting it causes, punching his arm in retaliation but he pays no mind, smiling to himself as he faces his back to you as he pulls open the refrigerator door to pick up a white squared box. He balances it on the palm of his hand with ease, using his foot to kick the refrigerator door shut as he makes his way back to you.
Youโre grinning widely at the thought of what could be inside the box even though youโve already guessed its cake, rubbing your hands together excitingly as Mark places it on the counter and gently slides it over to you, the box still in his grasp as it stops in front of you, drumming his fingers on the cardboard.ย
Sensing your eagerness, Mark lifts the lid off of the box and the excitement on your face drops almost instantly, turning blank as you peek inside to see the miniature watermelon themed cake staring back at you. You raise your head at Mark whoโs already grinning at you, tongue poking at his cheek as he opens up a drawer to retrieve two plastic forks, twiddling them between his fingers.
You deadpan, โAre you sure weโre not celebrating your birthday right now?โ
โShut up, you like watermelon just as much as I doโ Mark scoffs, handing you one of the plastic forks and you take it out of his grasp with a smile. You go to take a piece but Mark makes a weird noise, causing you to freeze mid cut. โWaitโdudeโjesus, let me take a photo firstโ
You roll your eyes but happily oblige as Mark fishes his phone out of his pocket and angles it towards you. You pose, pointing to the cake with a wide grin, almost blinded by the flash when Mark takes the picture and you immediately rub at your eyes, trying to get rid of the blotches with a few creative curse words that make Mark laugh.
He quickly takes this opportunity to slide beside you and holds his phone high to take a selfie of you both. You poke out your tongue, using your free hand to make bunny ears behind Markโs head who grins and uses his own free hand to grip your cheeks and squeeze to force you into pulling a weird face.ย
Before you have the chance to complain, you gasp in shock when you feel the coldness of the cakeโs frosting touch your cheek and the shutter of the camera goes off when Mark takes another photo, capturing you mid chaos as you dig your fingers into the side of the cake to smush a piece against his cheek, grinning evilly as the green frosting covers his skin.
โAlright, I deserved thatโ Mark sighs with a light laugh, making sure his phone is tucked away and out of the icing zone. โMakes a good blackmail photo though, donโt you think?โ
โIf that goes anywhere, I will kill youโ
โYou already know that's going on my Instagram, baby~โ Mark teases you and you scoff jokingly, shaking your head as you reach for the napkins that are laying on the side, trying your best to wipe away the frosting before it drops and stains your clothing.ย
Mark manages to clean himself easily but notices you struggling, deciding to help you out as he picks up another napkin and takes a hold of your chin, facing you towards him as he gently taps at your cheek, careful not to rub too hard at your skin.
Youโre suddenly aware of the close proximity and you grow silent, watching as he cleans you up. The concentrated look on his face causes your stomach to whirl and chest feel warm, his brows furrowed and eyes narrowed in on the area he needs to clean, tongue swiping over his bottom lip.
โMarkโฆโ You call out his name softly to grab his attention and he pauses, staring right at you. He seems to notice how close you both are too as he takes in the limited space between you both, slowly taking his hand away from your face but he stops himself with a quiet noise, bringing his hand back to finish his job.
โHappy birthday, dudeโ Mark whispers to you as he finally wipes the frosting off of your cheeks, smiling down at you with adoration swirling in his eyes.
Your breathing stops for a moment at the affectionate gaze, unsure of what to say or what to do with him looking at you the way he is. Your hands move up to take the birthday hat off of your head, dropping it to the side carelessly as you curl your arms around his shoulders, pushing up onto your tiptoes to embrace him.
Markโs arms slither around your waist, holding you close to his chest as he hugs you back, burying his face in the crevice of your neck and exhaling deeply.
โIโm so thankfulโ You mutter, squeezing him tight as the emotions within you struggle to be contained. โTruly, Mark. Iโm grateful tooโฆ Thank you for making this birthday special againโ
โItโs not over yet, you knowโ You hear him mumble. You go to pull back, to ask him what more he could possibly give you to top everything else but heโs already bending his knees, arms falling down to lock around your thighs and throwing you over his shoulder with a huff, smacking his hand roughly against your ass as he carries your giggly self to the bedroom.
Friday nights will always be your favourite nights to let loose and party: dressing up in your prettiest outfit that makes you feel confident, decorating your body with the shiniest jewellery you own and drinking the most intoxicating drink you could find while mingling with your friends.
Talking with your girls face to face after a week of classes had unfailingly lifted your mood, catching up with all the gossip you missed or briefly discussed over the phone, adding your own two cents into a situation which they eagerly agree with a nod their heads, tapping their cups to yours before taking a sip.
โSpeaking of unusual relationshipsโโ Sakura, one of your dearest friends, speaks up as she turns to look at you with a grin. โโgirl, howโs it going with you and Mark? Things turned weird yet?โ
โNopeโ You shake your head, buzzing happily. โWeโre fine. The whole hooking up with your best friend culture isnโt as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. Everyone gets dramatic about that shitโ
Sua lets out a heavy sigh, nursing her drink in her hand. โI donโt know how you do itโฆ I couldnโt imagine hooking up with Yeonjun. I mean, heโs attractive, but weโve seen and know too much about each other to get physical on an intimate level. Props to youโ
Heejin looks at you. โDo you still fuck Jaemin?โ
โOn occasionโ You admit. โBut honestly, Iโve been so wrapped in assignmentsโโ
โAnd Markโ
You give Sakura a smirk, โโthat I havenโt really had time to call up Jaemin and ask to fuck. Besides, he doesnโt mind. Heโs been busy smoking and selling weed for extra cashโ
โWhat about Mark? Is he still fucking around?โ
You pause at that, lips pursing deep in thought before you shrug your shoulders. โI donโt know. I havenโt asked recentlyโ
Sua gestures over your shoulder, โLooks like youโre about to find out the answerโ
You crane your neck to follow the direction sheโs pointing in, noticing Mark standing near a back wall with a drink in hand, deep in conversation with Arin whoโs smiling and nodding to each word heโs speaking to her.ย
Feeling your eyes on him, Mark looks up to capture your gaze, raising his drink in greeting and you grin, lifting your own cup and watching as he resumes back in conversation.ย
You take in his appearance with interest: a baggy white shirt paired with some loose fitted pants and doc martens youโre certain he stole from Donghyuck. A silver chain hangs from his neck and a cap sits backwards on the top of his head, you stifle a laugh at how much of a fuckboy he looks but you must admit, he looks good.
โSubtle with the lovey dovey eyes, sweetheartโ Sakura teases, nudging your shoulder to bring your attention back to her and you laugh, tipping your head back to finish the contents of your drink. โHe looks good though, so I donโt blame youโ
โWhen was the last time you fucked Mark?โ You aim your question towards Heejin who shrugs her shoulders.
โI donโt rememberโ She smacks her lips together. โDefinitely more than two months, thatโs for sureโฆ No disrespect to you but god I miss his cock. How he walks around with that thing completely baffles meโ
Sua's eyes widen. โIs Markโs cock big?โ
โYesโ You and Heejin answer instantly, causing you both to laugh and high five each other. You drone out the complaints Sua makes about wanting to fuck someone with a huge cock and how Yeonjun always recommends her people that are both shitty in bed and lack personality, too focused on looking around the room to find a clear path to get more drinks, dismissing yourself from the girls for a moment as you spot Jeno and Jaemin pouring vodka into each others cups.
You bound over to your boys, throwing your arms around their shoulders and startling them both with your presence, but Jaemin lazily smiles when he sees it's you and presses a chaste kiss to your temple as Jeno pats the back of your head in greeting, offering to fill your cup up which you happily give him.
โWhere have you been?โ Jaemin asks you, taking your hand in his and whirls you around, whistling lowkey as he takes in your dress. โYou look prettyโ
โCatching up with my girls because I spend way too much time with you guysโ You explain, but cheesily grin at the compliment he gives you on your outfit and bow. Jeno hands you your drink back and you thank him, taking a quick sip as your eyes glance around the room. โWhereโs the rest of the guys anyway?โ
โDonghyuckโs trying to get laid and Renjunโs around here somewhere chatting up a girl from his classesโ Jeno informs, gulping down his drink with ease. โMarkโs been talking with Arin for the past hourโsweet girl is trying to make her moveโ
โWhy arenโt you trying to show off your charms tonight?โ
Jeno stares at you suggestively, smirking behind the rim of his cup. โWhy would I when I got you and Jaemin right here?โ
Your tongue pokes at your cheek, struggling to fight the urge not to smile. โNot funny. It was a one time thing, Leeโฆ You were only there because Jaemin felt guilty he couldnโt last long enough to make me cumโ
โStill had you screaming on my dick thoughโ Jeno teases, gently knocking his fingers against your cheeks as you laugh. โAnd donโt worry, I havenโt told anyone. Pretty sure if I tell Donghyuck I actually did get to fuck you before him, heโd end up losing his mindโ
You ponder it for a moment, โIt would be kind of funny thoughโ
โWhat would be funny?โ
โDonghyuck!โ You squeal as he appears beside Jeno, staring at you all with a confused look but grins when you throw yourself in his arms to hug him tightly, swaying you both back and forth. โI thought you were trying to get laid?โ
โI wasโ Donghyuck sighs, pulling away from the hug but keeping an arm wrapped around your middle. โBut she had a boyfriend and heโs, like, six foot something and I didnโt feel like getting my ass handed back to me by slenderman himselfโ
You pout, pinching his cheek. โWhat a shame. The dry spell continuesโ
Donghyuck leans into your touch, batting his eyelashes prettily at you with a smirk. โYou can change that for me if you wantโ
โIn your dreamsโ
Donghyuck sighs jokingly, dropping his head low as his shoulders sag. โGuess Iโll keep on dreaming then. You sound even prettier when youโre moaning my name thereโโ
โWhatโs going on?โ
The sound of Markโs voice speaking up behind you causes you to whiz around quickly, beaming as your eyes meet his but it falters slightly when you notice the fake smile heโs sporting, wanting to turn the question around and ask him whatโs going on.ย
But you didnโt want to bring attention to the subject, knowing itโll make Mark uncomfortable putting him on the spot despite him continuously being open with the others. Itโs not something to speak publicly about if itโs serious.
You touch his arm and give him a comforting squeeze to which he seems to relax, using your grip on him to tug you into his side and for Donghyuckโs arm to slip from your waist.
โThe usual. Donghyuck trying to get her into his bedโ Jeno fills him in, fishing a strawberry flavoured vape out of his pocket to take a drag and Jaemin retches at the smell, wafting it away with his hand. โHowโs Arin?โ
โFineโ Mark quips, licking at his lips as he turns to you. โDo you want to get out of here? Just me and youโ
Donghyuck immediately takes offence to that, โWhat about us? We all came here together, man!โ
โIโm taking her home to fuck her, Hyuckโ Mark deadpans, giving him an unamused look while your tummy swirls with excitement. โDo you want to watch?โ
โWellโโ
โI was kiddingโ
Youโre in complete bliss with Mark hovering above you, your back arched, bare chest pressed to his as he nips and licks at your neck, his hips lazily grinding into yours, cock hitting deeper than heโs ever been.
The pace is slow, something that youโre not used to when it comes to Mark, but you donโt find the voice within yourself to complain, fingers winding through his hair with cries spilling from your lips, legs hooking over his waist.
Heโs grunting in the crevice of your neck with each deep thrust, one hand caressing the side of your face while the other rests beside your head, stopping himself from laying his entire body weight on you.
Youโre whining from the loss of contact when he moves his head away, missing the feeling of his teeth on your skin and looking up at him pleadingly but heโs frozen staring down at you, despite his hips thrusting automatically into you.
โFuck, youโre so prettyโ You barely hear him mumble and your heart pounds in your chest at the compliment, body feeling a little more heated and warm.
โMarkโโ
He cuts off your words by planting his lips on yours with the most sweetest and soft kiss, and you melt into the touch, fingers untangling from his hair to cup his cheeks in your palms, gasping through the kiss as Markโs cock slowly pulls out of your pussy before pushing back in, causing electricity to shoot up your spine.
The band in your tummy tightens with each slow but powerful thrust he gives you, thighs quivering around his frame, unable to keep up with his kisses as your mouth falls open with short gasps and whines, white specs flickering in your vision as you feel yourself inching closer and closer over the edge.
โCumโ Mark whispers, breath fanning over your face. โDo it. Cum on my cockโ
You wail as the band snaps, orgasm crashing down on you violently. Your body convulses, pussy squeezing around his cock, keeping him buried deep which has him moaning, his own hips stuttering as he cums. You feel him pulsing inside, painting your walls white as he fills you up.
Markโs head slumps down on your shoulder as you try to catch your breath, cringing and wincing as you feel him slowly moves his hips back to pull his cock out of your sensitive pussy, your hand falling from his face to drop down to your centre, gathering his cum that pools out on your fingers.
โIโm sorryโ Mark mumbles against your skin. โIโm sorry, Iโshit, I shouldโve asked if I could, you knowโโ Mark raises his hand to make a jerking off motion which causes you to snort. โโI got too overwhelmed. Iโm sorryโ
โItโs kinda cute that youโre apologisingโ You admit, gently pushing him off of your body to sit upright. โBut you donโt need to apologise. This isnโt the first time you came in me, Markโ
โI knowโ Mark runs his fingers through his sweaty bangs. โI usually ask thoughโ
โMark. Itโs fineโ You reassure him, placing your palm on his bicep. โIโll forgive you if you help clean me up thoughโ
Mark smiles softly as he slips off of the bed, disappearing out of the room for a moment and returning with a wet towel. He sits between your legs as he gently cleans up the mess, gently dabbing around your sensitive areas and whispering apologies after apologies every time you hiss at the contact, thighs closing around his hand which he carefully pries open to resume his job.
You watch in silence as he cleans you up and you frown at the troubled look you see on his face, not used to seeing Mark being so closed up with his feelings and emotions. Mark hasnโt been open with you in a few weeks, he hasnโt come to you and asked for your reassurance or help. It makes you feel a little bit defeated.
Something was different, and you struggled to pinpoint what it was.ย
The questions lay on the tip of your tongue, desperate to be asked and even more desperate to get the answers youโve been craving. Your relationship with Mark has changed since the proposition youโve made about sleeping together, but he was still your best friend.
โWhatโs going on?โ You finally ask. Mark freezes, hand clutching the wet towel in his grasp tightly. โAnd donโt lie to me. I can tell when youโre being truthful or notโโ
โWhat am I to you?โ Mark questions and you're a little stunned at your question being answered with his own question. He takes his hand away as you blink at him, feeling confused. โEven with all, like, this going onโฆ what am I to you?โ
โYouโre my best friend?โย
Mark seems to frown deeply at that, โSo nothing has changed? At all? Even with us sleeping together? Iโm still your best friend?โ
โIโof course!โ Youโre baffled, assuming that with the way Mark is speaking about yours and his situation that he was worried that youโd have negative feelings towards him. Youโre eager to reassure him, to let him know that everything is okay. โMark, youโll always be my best friend. We promised nothing would change. Iโm keeping that promiseโ
Mark closes his eyes as his shoulders sink, โDude, Iโโ He drops his head with a sigh. โI canโt do this anymoreโ
โDo what?โ You ask quietly, bringing your knees up to your chest.
โThisโ He gestures between the two of you. โI justโI canโt. Not anymore. I canโt continue sleeping with youโ
โOhโ You swallow thickly, a little surprised. โWhy?โ
โThings have changedโ His voice is quieter now and it makes your heart crumble at the tone. Does he hate you? โI canโt continue whatever this is and be your best friend. It has to stop, itโโ Mark sighs, rubbing at his forehead. โIt canโt go on, Iโm sorryโ
โItโs okayโ You mumble as your chin rests on your knees, hugging your legs closer to your chest to cover your modesty. You refuse to look at him now, finding interest in the sheets below you both as your throat tightens at the thought of him hating you so much that he canโt do anything with you no more. โIโm sorry too, by the way. I donโt know what I did you make you hate me, but Iโโ
โWait, what?โ
โโIโm just sorry. Especially if I came across too strong and for putting you in such a positionโ Youโre babbling your words now, unable to control yourself due to the overwhelmed feeling that washes over you. โFuck, Iโm so sorryโ
โWait. I donโtโโ
โLetโs just not tell the others, okay?โ You raise your head to meet his eyes this time. Heโs looking straight at you, confusion and disbelief swimming in his irises but you ignore it, chewing the inner skin of your cheek. โMostly Renjun. I donโt really want to hear him laugh in our faces and give us the whole โI told you soโ speech he threatened us with at the startโ
Mark calls out your name softly and reaches out to touch you but youโre already climbing off of the bed, looking for your underwear and dress that was thrown across the room due to prior activities.
Youโre too embarrassed to continue the conversation, to ask him what exactly you did to make him grow to hate you. Truthfully, you didnโt really want to dwell on it too much, the pain of losing someone like Mark already making your heart ache.
You just wanted to go homeโto be in the comfort of your own bed and curse yourself out, and probably cry to the point you might forget everything that just happened. You are feeling a little teary, but you wouldnโt dare to cry in front of Mark right now.
โIโll, uh, see you aroundโ You mutter, shoving the heels onto your feet, casting one final look his way. โIโm sorryโ
It's been almost two weeks since your last encounter with Mark.
You shouldnโt be avoiding him like you are. Itโs childish. But you canโt force yourself to face someone who used to be your best friend and now hates you.ย
Maybe you shouldโve waited a few more minutes, to give him time to explain the entire situation and how he was feeling but you were selfish, you didnโt want to hear him explain in detail what you had done to make him change his feelings towards you.
You miss him. Of course you miss him. Heโs been your best friend for yearsโyour other half, more like. There was no you without Mark and vice versa. You werenโt exactly sure on how you could continue functioning with Mark by your side, as dramatic as it sounds, but youโve always been dramatic.
The other boys have been blowing up your phoneโcourtesy of you ignoring them too, not wanting to hear Renjun rub it in your face on how the โfriends with benefits bullshitโ you had with Mark did actually go to shit. And you didnโt want to hear the others continuously question what had happened and what had changed.
Even your roommate, someone who keeps herself out of your business and hardly ever bothers you, had cornered you one morning at breakfast, asking why you looked so glum and why the โshirtless Canadian fuckboyโ wasnโt joining you both.ย
Youโre not the type to let anyone know your worries, but youโre surprised when you find yourself explaining to your roomie what happened.
She gave you a deadpanned look, calling you stupid for not staying behind and listening despite you voicing that you couldnโt bear to listen to why his feelings had suddenly turned negative towards you. Your face twisted and turned, offended at her harsh words but you allowed yourself to let her talk and not jump in even though you desperately wanted to.
โYouโre jumped to your own conclusionโ She told you when she was clearly up the dishes. โYou know, for two close best friends who talk to each other every second of the day, you sure have some serious miscommunication issuesโ
So thatโs what leads you to now: you sitting alone in the living room with your phone in hand, staring down at yours and Markโs chat room with your thumb between your teeth, biting down on the skin anxiously as you try to figure out how to start a conversation, to let him know you will listen.
you: i think we need to talk.
mark: iโm almost at ur house anyway i had to go get something
you: ???? u coming over
mark: yeah
mark: i was going to make u listen to me
mark: its important dude.
You snort at his last message, sending a quick thumbs up emoji before throwing your phone to the side, awaiting his arrival. You catch your leg nervously bobbing in the corner of your vision and your brows furrow, placing your hand down on your knee and squeezing tight. As if that will stop you from feeling nervous.
Youโre about to hear the reason why Markโs feelings had changed for you so negatively, nothing can prepare you for it. Bite the bullet. Take it like a champ.ย
The rapid knock on the door rips you out of your thoughts, slowly turning your head with a confused look plastered across your face. Was that Mark? Mark never knocksโhe freely walks in like itโs his own place usually, always makes himself at home.
You push yourself up from the sofa and make your way towards the door, peeping through the hole to see Markโs form, teeth nibbling at his bottom lip with his hands behind his back, swaying back and forth nervously. You grow even more confused and concerned, unlocking the door and pulling it open to face him fully.
โWhy did you knoโโ
โHate you?!โ He cuts you off with a shout, immediately startling you with his tone. His eyes are wide as he stares at you, full of disbelief. โHate you, Iโjesus christโhow could I hate you?! Dude, Iโd never hate youโฆ god, youโre so frustrating sometimesโ
Your lips quirk upwards, โNice to see you tooโ
โI donโt hate you, at allโฆ When I said to you that things have changed, I didnโt mean anything bad by itโฆ itโs actually quite the oppositeโฆโ Mark trails off and before you can get the chance to ask him to explain what he means, your breath hitches at the back of your throat as he pulls his hands from behind his back: a bag of jellies in one and a handful of ripped up flowers in the other. Your heart thumps rapidly. โIโm going to tell you something and I justโI need you to listenโ
You barely whisper, โOkayโ
โBeing in this friends with benefits relationship with you was not as easy as I thought it was going to beโ Mark tells you, his honesty making you pull your attention away from the things in his hands to his eyes. โWe promised each other that weโre not going to involve any of that official or exclusive title bullshit to make it complicated for usโฆ yet here I am standing in front of you right now with the same jellies and flowersย in my hand from when we first met about to confess my fucking feelings to you, Iโm soโโ
โYouโre ramblingโ You cut him off quietly, a smile creeping onto your lips.
โRight, yeah, of course I amโ Mark laughs with a shake of his head, awkwardly scratching his neck before he straightens out, keeping his eyes on yours. โI fell for you. I think I sort of realised it on your birthday but I didnโt want to say anything just in case I wasnโt really thinking straightโฆ but when we were at that party and I saw the guys flirting with you, I realised how much I actually do like you and that it wasnโt my dick talkingโ
You snort as you repeat, โDick talkingโ
โShut upโ He smiles at you, his own laugh fleeting past his lips. โIโm in love with you, dude. And I totally get it if you want to reject me because of how weirdly this turned out but, uh, I would like to continue seeing you if I could be your... boyfriendโ
Youโre too busy repeating his confession in your head to notice that Mark is waiting for an answer, bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he bites down nervously, visibly shaking for excitement or the fact that he just confessed his entire feelingsโyou werenโt sure.
The silence from you kills Mark, and his face drops when you step forward to quietly take the flowers and the jellies out of his hand and step back inside the house. His shoulders slump in defeat, taking your non verbal response as a rejection to his proposalย of him being your boyfriend and he goes to turn around, to get the fuck off of your doorstep and hope that the intense embarrassment that he feels coursing through his veins is enough to make him disappear quickly.
But he freezes mid escape when he hears the rustling of you ripping open the pack of jellies, turning his head to see you looking at him with the most gentlest smile. He watches, chest erupting with warmth as you reach your arm out, angling the treat in his direction and a grin spreads across his face, unable to control the giggles that leave him.ย
Youโre giving him a jelly, youโre giving him a relationship.
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pairing: jeong jaehyun x fem!reader
word count: 6.6K
genre: colorblind!jae, acrylic painter!reader, jaeโs mom is readerโs art mentor, jae hates art, strangers to friends to lovers, major crushing from both sides, slow burn but also not slow burn (like a nice simmering burn), swearing, immense fluff, reader acts like sheโs on an adrenaline rush 24/7, jealousy, angst, explosive arguments, lowkey toxic, extremely inaccurate depictions of colorblindness, mentions of best friend!johnny, jae sucks at flirting (but in a cute wayโฆkind of)
summary: for as long as he can remember, jaehyunโs world has been in black and white - giving him no reason to appreciate his motherโs profession as an artist and the beauties that art can provide. however, an accidental meeting with you gives him reason to doubt his former beliefs - proving to him that there may be true beauty in a world thatโs void of everything bright, that beauty being the sunshine that you provide.ย
Whenever the sun meets its peak at the high dawning point in the sky is when Jaehyun knows itโs a perfectly acceptable time to visit his oh-so-beloved mother. If he could, he would spend every waking moment with her - heโs a mommaโs boy through and through - not only because she birthed him and taught him everything he knows, but because sheโs kind and good. Sheโs also one of - scratch that - sheโs the only person he can stand to be around for more than twenty four hours - and he takes great pride in having such a wonderful woman in his life.
However, despite how dearly he holds his mother to his heart, the issue with visiting her at this time of day is that sheโs in her art studio. A place he loathes more than having to wear wet socks with sneakers. While itโs a beautiful space, with high wooden beams and floor to ceiling windows, he finds himself nauseous at the mere sight of the countless tubes of oil and acrylic paints. Itโs not that the smell or colors are distasteful, itโs the fact that no matter how hard he squints and struggles, he cannot fathom what the simple color red looks like.
Complete black and white color blindness isnโt a life threatening condition in the slightest, but for Jaehyun, it feels as if heโs being stabbed through the sternum at any notion of the changing leaves or colorful streaks of light across the sun-setting sky.
He doesnโt hate his mother for being an artist, he simply hates the art itself.
synopsis โ In the list of sports, ranked from most to least sexy, badminton would be found at the very bottom if not ranked last. But why is it that when Jisung plays the with a feathered shuttle your heart flutters?ย
ย OR: Jisung helps you improve your badminton skills.ย
ย pairing โ badminton player!jisung x fem!readerย
ย genre โ sports!au, university!au, (one sided) enemies to friends to lovers, slight slow burnย
ย wc โ 22kย (๐ huh)
content โ university/sports class setting, humour, fluff, the tiniest bit of angst,ย idols mentioned, very heavy on the dialogue/backstory at one point sorry babies <3, smut (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)
smut tagsย โย making out, fingering, switch!jisung and reader (thereโs no strong dynamic tbh), protected sex, pet names (jisung gets called a good boy), lmk if I missed anything!
ย a/n โ YAYYY i can finally share this with u guys!! i have been cooking this for some time and im actually so excited to release it!! Iโm a badminton enthusiast so I went a bit ham on the descriptions and back story sorry (not rlly),, I hope this is a good readdd I read through it so much to fix it up and now Im a bit sick of it oops BUT its a story Iโve been wanting to write so here you go <3 enjoy!
genre โณย enemies to lovers, college au
pairings โณย fratboy!haechan x fem!reader
word count โณ ย 1.8k
warnings โณย mentions of alcohol
info โณย haechanโs ay-yo teasers have me in an embarrassingly tight chokehold
Honestly, all Donghyuck wanted was a peaceful evening.
As much as that sounded like a complete lie coming from him, it was as genuine a sentiment that he could convey to Jaemin, who promptly laughed in his face and handed him another can of Four Loko.
And when he brought his complaints to Jeno, the boy had only one sentence for him.
Genre: Hades x Persephone reimagining, dark romance, hate to love, slow burn, smut
Word Count: 29.5k
Warnings: morally grey characters
Summary: The day the god of the underworld steals you away, he expects to have found a timid wife to make his isolated life more bearable. Little does he know that the rose he picked from the garden called earth bears knives instead of thorns, and he might not have found a timid wife, but a queen with a heart as dark as his.
A/N: Hi guys! Months worth of rewriting and editing is finally finished! This story grew very dear to me since this is my first plot based on greek mythology, and I took my sweet time for the world building. Thus, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
The day the god of the underworld stole you away from earth, he didnโt only steal your body, but your soul too.
You were watering the flowers in the garden behind your small house before he did it. It was the first day of spring, the sun rays only slowly starting to feel warm and pleasant on the tip of your nose. Your plants were reluctantly awakening after months of hiding under a thick blanket of icy snow, but you were determined to make them flourish and blossom in all colors again. Your mother always said you had a magic touch for making flowers grow even from concrete, and every year you proved to her that she was right.
From the kitchen window that stood ajar, you smelled the delicious stew she was currently cooking with the help of your little sister, prepared from the self harvested vegetables that had survived this long winter. You were already looking forward to lunch - of which you were blissfully unaware you wouldnโt be able to join at that time.
When the watering can was slowly emptying, only droplets still coming out, you arose from your crouching position with the intention to walk over to the well and refill it one last time. Overhearing your sister placing the plates and cutlery on the table, you assumed the stew was finally ready, so you hurried with your steps to finish your labor quickly.
If you had known that the last words you directed at your mother and sister before leaving the house would have been โIโll be back soon!โ, would you have chosen other ones? Perhaps something with a deeper message like โIโll always love youโ or โIโll be fineโ? But you hadnโt known, so they were left with the promise that youโd eventually return from wherever you vanished to that day.
Even though you didnโt know yourself whether you would ever be able to see them again.
Lowering the bucket into the well, it never came to reach the waterโs surface. Suddenly, it felt like the entire world came crashing down on you. Deafening noise replaced the birdsโ singing and chirping that had accompanied you until now. You panicked and raised your head, looking over to the house where you wanted to make sure that nothing was happening to your family as the soil beneath your feed started to shake too.
Gathering your skirts around your hips, you prepared yourself to sprint, but as you were about to set one foot aside, there was nothing to support your body anymore in front of you. The ground under you was split, entirely gone, and only darkness gaping at you from beneath. You let out a scream and stepped away, rescuing yourself to the other side of the cleft.
Having no idea where this earthquake came from as they were unusual for this part of the world, you only thought about saving your mother and sister. But as you looked over to the house again, it still stood there, solid, steady and seemingly unmoving. And then, it was gone. Not because it fell into a crater like the one that had split in front of you, but because you fell into one that had opened up between your legs, forcing them apart.
Realizing the danger of the situation too late, there was no possibility for you to save yourself anymore as you fell right into the gap, into darkness, with a long lasting scream.
So, this was how you died, you thought.
____
You had dreamed of your mother and your little sister. Only the three of you, sitting at the lunch table, eating the delicious stew the two had prepared upon your return from the garden. You were chattering and laughing together as always, as though nothing had changed. But it wasnโt real, only a dream in which you wanted to linger a bit longer.
Silent tears had streamed down your closed eyes that were now dried around the rims and which you still refused to open. The surface on which you were lying felt a little too comfortable, almost like a soft mattress. A thick blanket was pulled over your body as well so that you didnโt freeze. You were able to move your fingers, feeling every breather your chest drew as though reminding you that you were very much still alive and not dead like you had assumed.ย
Eventually, you had to force your lids open. Dim light coming from lit candles immersed the dark room in which you were situated in a soothing atmosphere. Though the term โroomโ was an understated description for the place in which you found yourself. The closet-like space back at home which you shared with your sister could be called a room, but this was way bigger than your entire house, including the garden, and way more. This was an entire suite.
You braced yourself against what truly turned out to be a soft mattress on a huge bed that was thrice the size of your own, the posts towering you on each edge and connecting over your head in a net of purple velvet. The bed was made of black marble glistening in the flickering candlelight coming from the golden chandeliers, and only then you noticed that the entire room was forged from this luxurious, dark material.ย
To your right, you spotted two high pointed windows that reached to the vaulted ceiling with interlaced arches, but the view was hidden by curtains made of the same purple velvet that was hanging over your bed. The suite was decorated with long, golden mirrors and stucco of the same color, and to your left, you found a long closet stretching across the entire wall as well as a dressing table.
Before you could inspect the place further, a knock on the door made you gasp out loud and slide to the far end of the bed. You were at a loss about what had happened to you, where you currently were, why you were here. Had you, inexplicably, survived the earthquake and been rescued by someone?
You nearly didnโt dare look when the doors opened and in walked a girl, most likely a bit younger than you, dressed all in black with a golden tray in her hands. She was very pale, but the color of her skin stood in contrast to her dark hair and garments of the same color, the smile around her lips inviting, kind, and genuine.ย
โGood morning, mistress, youโre already awake!โ she chirped in a cheerful voice.
It was morning already? For how long have you slept? โGood morning,โ you croaked, startled by your own, hoarse voice. โWhere am I?โ
โAt my masterโs palace.โ She put the tray on top of the mattress, right next to you. There, you spotted a bowl filled with what appeared as porridge. โI came to bring you breakfast, mistress. After that, Iโll help you bathe and get dressed.โ
โWhat for?โ You furrowed. If anything, you wanted to leave right away to return home. โAnd please, Iโm not a mistress.โ
โTo meet my master, heโs already waiting,โ was the girlโs simple answer. โAnd as a guest of this household, youโre formally our mistress.โ
At that moment, it made sense to you. Of course you would need to express your gratitude to the person who saved you from the earthquake, it was only polite. Then, you could return home, so you gave a nod to confirm your agreement despite being addressed as a mistress still not sitting right with you. You would act along for today.
โWhatโs your name?โ you asked the girl as she put the tray on your lap, taking the spoon into your hand and dipping it into the porridge.
For a guest suite so big, the breakfast was very simple, plain even, you silently remarked. The oats were made with water, not milk, so the flavor wasnโt very rich as they also hadnโt been seasoned with sugar or cinnamon. But again, you didnโt want to be ungrateful and enjoyed what was offered to you.
โItโs Ara, mistress.โ
The title sounded so bizarre to your ears. You were a simple girl from a small village, not someone who usually resided at such a place.ย
โAra, I would love to meet your master and express my gratitude. Take me to him.โ
โVery well, mistress.โ
____
After taking a bath in a room that wasnโt less luxurious as the one in which you had slept, with a tub made of the same dark marble that reminded you of onyx, Ara dressed you in a tame, but beautiful long-sleeved dress made of pastel pink silk that flowed down your body and fitted perfectly. During the process, you noted that you hadnโt caught any bruises or scratches from the fall, and you nearly started to question your sanity if falling into that crate had even happened at all. Miraculously, you had survived unscathed.
With cautious steps, you followed Ara along the dark corridor lit up by candles, the dark yet lavish theme of the place also present here. It didnโt take you long to find out that this wasnโt a mansion, but an entire palace you had only read about in books. For someone who had grown up in a small, rundown house, it couldnโt quite fit in your imagination how big a palace like this one must be as you rounded corners and passed by more corridors with walls you had to bend your neck to see them end. There were no windows open, all blacked out by the velvet curtains despite it being morning apparently, light coming only from the elaborate candelabras.ย
You wondered how far from home you had been found as you had never encountered someone passing by a palace like this close to you, so fascinating yet intimidating. Surely, news must have broken out like wildfire already since village people devoured gossip like no one else, especially when it was about something as lavish as the owner of this palace. You were eager to find out and request an escort home.ย
Ara eventually stopped in front of a heavy door after you had nearly clumsily flown down a stairwell. On your way to here, you hadnโt encountered a single other person. It was quite a huge residence for someone to call it a home to themselves only. You didnโt know what to make of this odd place.
โMy master awaits you.โ
As the door opened, you found yourself standing in front of a purple carpet that led into a grand hall. The carpet shaped a long aisle with swaths of the same colors on the walls, interrupted by golden candelabras. The windows, spaced every few feet, were taller than most homes you had seen, and the high ceilings as well as arches were just as extravagantly forged.ย
And there, on a dais at the end of the aisle, raised a pompous throne, tapering at the top in spikes and forming sword-like adornments that were divided by a skull in the very middle of it.
On the throne itself was seated a tall figure.ย
The master.ย
โPlease come in,โ he called out to you.
Even though you were still at the other side of the hall, you heard him clearly, a voice so low, it could haunt your dreams, but also so melodic, it could lure you to listen to its owner for an eternity as well. The latter was what drew you closer as the door magically shut behind you without physical force.ย
He was possibly the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and even this didnโt do a description justice, you thought to yourself as you stood in front of the dais after a long, silent walk toward it, eyeing the master hopefully, almost imperceptibly. In your small village, you had encountered many beautiful people on their journey across the lands, but even the most handsome ones didnโt come close to the man opposite of you.
Other-worldly, on the other hand, was spot on to describe his appearance. His hair was blacker than a crowโs feather, falling elegantly into his forehead and nape, his skin fairer than winter snow, and his dark eyes clearer than morning dew. He was everything you knew and way more than that, nearly impossible to fathom in human words.
His right leg hung loosely over the throneโs armrest, his elbow propped against the left one as though he was bored, but you didnโt miss the attention and slight wariness in his gaze. He was donned in a black jacket and black trousers with gold embellishments that ended in boots of the same shade. The attire rustled when he settled in a proper seating position and leaned forward as though to examine you. Only then you noticed the black crown that ended in spikes sitting on top of his head and nearly meshing seamlessly with his dark hair.
Having almost forgotten your manners, you quickly gathered your composure, suppressing your reverence for his appearance, and did a curtsey. โI apologize for having let you wait for so longโฆ master. I wanted to express my gratitude for the rescue and for giving me shelter in your home.โ You caught him raising a brow when you looked back up to him.ย
He slowly repeated two words, โRescue? Shelter?โ
You were just as perplexed, but explained your situation calmly, suspecting there might have been a miscommunication from your side, โFor having saved me after I fell into the crater during the earthquake. I am deeply indebted to you and will do anything in my power as a peasant to repay what you have done for me. But first, and I want to apologize beforehand for being so bold, I ask to return home and make sure that my mother and sister are well.โ
โI havenโt rescued you.โ Smoothly, he set both his feet on the daisโ surface and leaned back again as though more relaxed now, โIt was me who tore the earth apart to get you.โ
A shudder ran down your spine and you took a step back. Surely, you must have misheard. โW-what do you mean by that? I donโt understand.โ
He rose from his throne, now standing even taller and higher above you, and you grew more intimidated than you already were, bracing yourself to flee as an eerie feeling settled in your stomach.ย
โThis is the underworld, my kingdom.โ Pause. โAnd youโre going to be my wife.โ
____
You were running as fast as your feet were able to carry you. Somewhere along the way, you had lost your slippers, but you didnโt mind your bare soles touching the ground in passing as long as you could find an exit. But there was none. With the long skirts flowing between your legs and your hair getting lifted up by each movement, you ran along the apparent endless corridors, but every door you opened led you into another, empty room, regardless of the floor and part of the palace you ended up in.ย
There was no exit, there was only darkness.
Exhausted and having to support yourself against the cold wall, you gasped for air, your lungs hurting as you had been trying to escape for too long already. From the window, a soft breeze found its way in, but you didnโt dare to pull the curtains aside, scared of what you would find behind them.
He was the god of the underworld, he had said.
You had heard many people in your village and visitors talking about these deities, worshiping them even, despite no one having met one once. Except forโฆ you vaguely remembered an elderly woman journeying through the country once and passing by your house as well. She wanted to spread the news that she had been abducted by the god of the sea when she was younger, but your mother only closed the door in front of her face. Now you wondered whether she had been right all along as you just couldnโt wake up from this nightmare.
With a start, when you were able to stand on your own feet without feeling on the brink of fainting from exhaustion again, you pried apart the curtains and were surprisingly delighted to meet with light.
But this feeling evaporated very quickly as you gazed into the distance. The landscape was the greatest contrast to your home country that shone with green fields, towering trees, scentful flowers and golden crops. What dominated the scenery here were rolling plains, mostly treeless with the exception of a few clustered pines. Beneath the sky, everything was tinged in a reddish hue, varying from light orange to crimson. Your field of vision was constrained by a gray mountain range so high, the sharp tops ending in red clouds that were so thick and heavy that no light of any sort was coming through. What caused the red lightning though, you couldnโt see.
When you lowered your head, you discovered you were currently on one of the top floors of this dark palace that was built in a foreign, but impressive way. It was a complex, rich system of forts, bastions and towers with sharp tops that sparkled in the reflection of the red lighting and melded with the clouds of the same shade. The building ended several dozen meters below you on a bridge that crossed a vibrant sapphire blue river.
So there was a way out of this palace.ย
โThis is my kingdom and as my wife, it will become yours too.โ
You flinched upon hearing his voice, not daring to turn around to him. You hadnโt even heard him approaching, when he had caught up to you. If he was the god of the underworld, what kind of power did he possess? You werenโt sure whether you ever wanted to find out.
โThis will never become my home.โ When you finally faced him, you were sure passion and resistance flickered in your eyes almost as intensely as the sky behind you. Fear was not a term familiar to you now as you cared more about your remaining family. โAnd I will never become your wife. I demand my freedom right now!โ
He sighed as though he was the one in the right to get annoyed. โI fear I might not be able to do that.โ
โYou brought me here without my consent, you tore me away from my family, you robbed me off my life,โ you spat, โand youโre expecting that Iโm going to stay?โ
โEven gods cannot defy godly rules.โ He stepped closer to the window, but this time, you didnโt withdraw, indicating that he didnโt have such an effect on you. When he stood next to you, tall and mighty, his presence radiating a threatening aura, you still didnโt waver in your position, the growing resentment replacing apprehension. โWhen a human comes to the underworld, they cannot return on their own.โ
โAm I-?!โ You gasped.
He only snickered dryly as he looked out of the window. โYouโre very far from being dead. Youโre still very much alive.โย
โThen I can go back,โ you whispered more to yourself, this enlightenment getting your hopes up. You would find a way, with or without his permission.ย
He might be a god, but he didnโt own you. He might have stolen you from your home, but he hadnโt taken control of your mind, or your body. You were still you, and you would use all of your remaining strength, mentally and physically, to reunite with your family on earth.
The god shifted his head as though catching your silent mantras, looking down at you with an expression almost so unreadable, it seemed on the verge of indifference even. โThere is a way. But do you really think I will let you go after I did everything in my power and beyond that just to get you?โ
Stretching out his hand, he grabbed your chin, and despite all the twisting and turning that you did, you werenโt able to wind yourself out of his grip. You bared your teeth, hissing under your breath, โIโm not a possession you can decide over. If you wonโt let me go, I will do it myself!โ
He jerked you towards him with his grip and you let out a squeal that sounded far more worrisome than you had wanted to let slip. But as he had you in control with only his fingers, you couldnโt defy the terrified feeling anymore that settled deep in your bones. It showed all in your eyes when he locked gazes with you, his look the total opposite of yours, stern and determined.
Bringing his lips to your ear, the god whispered, โTry, and weโll see what happens.โ
When his breath hit your skin, you shuddered. But not in a fearful, dreading way as his grip didnโt hurt at all. Goosebumps formed on the spot around your ear, running down to your shoulder and all along your arm, betraying your own body in what you should actually feel right now.
He let you go with a slight smile, observing you from head to toe as though he was able to read your body language. Then, he turned around and left, disappearing into the darkness of the corridor.ย
Rage took over this slight moment of irritation when he was gone, making you kick candelabras out of your way, tearing curtains apart and screaming at the underworld that the opened windows revealed: death, isolation and endless darkness.ย
And then, despair replaced fury and you broke down crying by the window, calling after your mother and sister.
____
โMistress, you need to eat something.โ
Ara placed a bowl of the same, plain oatmeal next to you on the bed that you, for the third day in a row, refused to eat. You had lost all your appetite, spending day and night in what had been assigned to be your bedroom, sleeping and weeping. Though day and night didnโt differ much from each other down here as you had figured. The days consisted of threatening red sky, the nights of dangerous darkness.
โYou also have to change your clothes, mistress. I selected a few from the closet.โ
โWhy wonโt he let me go home?โ you whispered, turning to the window side away from her and watching the red sky fade into the black one as one single tear slowly rolled down your cheek. โWhy do I need to stay here?โ
โOnce youโre here, itโs not so easy to go home, mistress. Almost impossible even.โ
โThen why did he bring me here in the first place?โ Your voice was hoarse from all the crying the days before, hair greasy and sticking to your skin, eyes puffy and swollen. โIโve always tried so hard to be a good girl again. Do I still deserve this? Is this my very own punishment?โ
โI donโt know what you mean, mistress, but itโs odd,โ Ara stated nearly absent-mindedly, โthe way you humans think. There are humans who would do anything to get into the godly realms, demanding entry into a harem or only bearing the child of one. Youโre the first I encounter who doesnโt want all this.โย
โWhat do those humans expect from this?โย
โEndless satisfaction, glory and youth, mistress. In the godly realms, you cannot age.โ
You chuckled bitterly. โOf course.โย
โDoesnโt this sound alluring to you too?โ Ara wanted to know with genuine curiosity. โMy master would be willing to offer you anything you want.โ
โAbsolutely not,โ you instantly refused. โHaving all your beloved ones die one after another until youโre all aloneโฆ for eternity? I wouldnโt be able to live like that, possessing all that richness but not whatโs most important to me. The only thing I want is my family, nothing else.โ
Ara fell into silence. โI donโt have a family, so I cannot relate. Itโs nice to meet someone who adores their family though and doesnโt want to unalive them like most gods.โย
โIโm sorry.โ You turned back around to her. โWhat happened to your family?โ
โNothing.โ She was smiling again. โIโm an ordinary sprite with no powers, I donโt know where I originate from. Thatโs what we all are hereโฆ powerless in our nature, so we end up in a serving position. But Iโm not sad about it. I have a purpose for eternity, itโs better than wandering around with no direction.โ
You watched Ara spreading out the dresses on the huge bed. They were all in your favorite pastel colors, the color of the flowers that bloomed in your motherโs garden, the material so luxurious and soft upon touching the hem with your finger tips, you were sure you would have never been able to afford even one dress under normal circumstances.
If this was Araโs only purpose in life, who were you to refuse her offer? A simple favor for someone who had been taking care of you, nothing more. Perhaps, changing your clothes after three days wasnโt a bad idea either. You sat up and inspected each dress in detail while asking,ย
โYou said humans demand entry to the godly realms, Ara. Where are they? The people in the harem here, for example.โ
Given the possibility of staying young and wandering around in these rich clothes forever, living a lush lifestyle, you could very well imagine that other humans would do anything to be in your position now. But you werenโt one of those, you didnโt care about luxury, goods and money.
โMy master doesnโt have a harem, mistress, nor do other mortals live here in his palace. Itโs only us, other houseworkers and servants.โ
โOh. I was expectingโฆโ You didnโt know what you had expected, but you werenโt surprised either. The darkness in this kingdom wasnโt very inviting to live in until eternity after all.ย
โHow about this dress, mistress?โ Ara held up a light blue gown made of silk with long, almost translucent sleeves and cut-out in the back. You had never worn something as daring but also as beautiful as this. โI will bathe you and do your hair the way you prefer.โ
โWhat would I need it for?โ Only now you noticed that your stomach was growling. Although plain oats didnโt smell deliciously tempting, your body was telling you that you desperately needed to be fed. You already saw yourself giving in to your needs and devouring the oatmeal.
โTo meet with my master,โ Ara replied as though a given, and you froze.
โNo!โ you protested, causing her to flinch at your loud erupt. โTell him Iโm not going to meet up with him nor do I ever want to see him again! Even if I die here, I donโt ever want to see him again. I will find a way out myself and I will escape from this place. This, you can tell him.โ
โMy master assumed that youโd react this way, so he wants you to know that if you meet up with him tonight, he will tell you how your family is doing.โ
Your stomach hollowed and not only from hunger as dread filled the empty space and your fingers gripped the sheets, tensely. You suddenly felt so sick at the thought of what he could do to your family out there if he really was so powerful. Would it now always be like this? That he would threaten and you had to comply for the sake of your beloved onesโ safety?
โFine.โ
In the bathroom, where Ara gently scrubbed your skin with oil that smelled of meadows, massaged your scalp in calming rhythms and washed your hair with white foam, you broke out in tears again, but she didnโt say a word and let you cry in silence. At home, bathing was a luxury you were only able to enjoy once a week in a small wooden basin.
Your homesickness came in waves, especially in the evenings when you missed the warm body of your little sister pressed into you from behind, the bed way too small for the both of you, but she was always refusing to sleep at your motherโs side on the bigger mattress as she felt too old for that already.
When Ara dried your body and hair, you were still weeping, but her careful yet comfortable treatment made it all a bit more bearable.
____
โHave a seat, little rose.โ
The god was seated at the head on the far end of the long table, and although your set of plate and cutlery were placed right next to his, you seated yourself on a chair opposite of him where you were the farthest away. Immediately, a servant came by to relocate the tableware.
โDonโt call me that.โย
โDonโt you like that name?โ he asked, arrogantly feigning offense. โI think it matches very well with you. A flower from earth, looking and smelling so beautifully, but bearing sharp thorns that sheโs not afraid to use.โ
At first, you were confident to interpret his words as an insult, but when you repeated them in your head once more, you werenโt sure whether they leaned more towards a compliment as there was something in his tone that gave the impression, and it irritated you very much.
โWhy have you moved away from me?โ The god leniently crossed his hands behind his head and leaned back on his chair, no crown adorning his hair this time. โYou donโt have to be afraid. If I wanted to hurt you, you would surely not sit here now, invited to dine with me.โย
โAfraid?โ You frowned at him and lifted your chin. โIโm not afraid of you. I just donโt want to be near you for your own sake, in case I want to stab you. Though depending on what you have to tell me about my family, I canโt guarantee it wonโt still happen.โ
Amusement played around the godโs lips in the form of a smug smile, your answer apparently surprising him entirely. โYouโre a very interesting one, little rose, I must admit.โ
โIs that why Iโm here? Because you find me interesting?โ
The servant placed a napkin on your lap, causing your mouth to water already. You were dreaming of a feast consisting of meat, potatoes, vegetables and fruits. At home, those things were rarely served together, but you assumed that in a palace as huge as this, it was something you could look forward to for dinner.ย
In such a rare moment, you allowed yourself to be greedy. Mutedly begging for apology, you thought that if it stayed in your head only like all the other things you had sinned for, it wouldnโt taint your image anymore. Nobody had to know if you didnโt voice it out or act on it obviously.
โI find many things interesting.โ The god snipped his fingers and you flinched. โBut boring humans donโt belong to that category.โ
โYet, you stole one of these boring humans away to make her your bride.โ
The next moment, another servant opened the door and brought in two bowls, one placed in front of him, the other in front of you. You were trying your best to hide your disappointed expression, but were sure that you failed when you saw what was in the bowl: plain porridge like the past few days and what you had nipped on shortly before. Andย
โOthers would trade everything they have to be in your place now.โ
Your fingers hovered over the cutlery, but you withdrew them again, not wanting to give in yet, despite your stomach making demanding noises that mustnโt have passed by the god himself. Either this was his way of subtly punishing you while you were residing here, but that wouldnโt explain why he didnโt eat something else in front of you. Or this was the only food served in the underworld. Neither assumption satisfied you.ย
โIโm not like others. Iโm not a boring simpleton. I have responsibilities, a family to take care of. How can I reside here in peace when my family cannot even afford a life without me?โ
โBecause now they can,โ he replied simply.
You tilted her head in confusion. โWhat?โย
โLet me assure you that your family has been taken care of. The day I brought you here, they were greatly supplied with a chest consisting of pure gold that will last them their lifetime and the generations after them.โ
You shuddered visibly, having no intention to pay weight to his words. โThatโs not the main reason. How am I supposed to reside in this palace and live carefreely when I cannot be certain my family is healthy and happy every day, when Iโm not there to witness how they do without me?โย
โSuch a peculiar way of thinking, I have never encountered this before,โ he carefully said. โThe humans who trade and bargain with us gods just to get the same privileges as you never look back, not even the ones who hadnโt decided on their own to enter the godly realms. When they see what kind of lifestyle awaits them here, they fold instantly. But you arenโt so selfish. Youโre right. Youโre no โsuchโ mortal. Maybe I shouldnโt have picked a flower with thorns like you, little rose.โ
โThen set me free.โ You glared at him across the table. โMy family doesnโt care about gold or money. We just want to be together.โ
He pursed his lips and sighed. โAs I said, itโs difficult.โ
โI donโt trust you,โ you eventually pressed through gritted teeth, resting your fingers on the edge of the bowl, then pushing the porridge away from you. โI donโt believe anything you say.โ
He leaned forward and propped his elbows on the table in preparation to speak with his attention only on you. โI have no reason to lie to you, but I also wonโt force you to trust me. Iโm just telling you that I understand if youโre wary, considering the circumstances.โย
โThen tell me why you keep me captured,โ you demanded again, suppressing your surprise over his honesty.
โAnd then you will eat?โ You didnโt understand why he even cared in the first place if the porridge wasnโt poisoned, but agreed with a slight nod just to get the reply out of him. โFine. Youโre here, because I need a wife to keep me company. I can offer you everything a female human could ever dream of - a luxurious home with endless space, dresses in all colors under the rainbow, delicious food that doesnโt even grow on earth, and gold to fulfill all your further needs.โ
You gulped visibly, but held his gaze. So the porridge truly was punishment only, physically and emotionally.ย โThatโsโฆ thatโs all?โ
He shrugged, not touching his bowl either, you noticed. โTruth to be told, I thought it would be easier according to the stories Iโve been told. Other gods own harems full of humans who live lavish lifestyles until all eternity.โ
โSo I heard,โ you retorted, utterly grossed out.
โI also admit that, apparently, I know nothing about humans.โ A smile tugged on the corner of his lips that quickly evaporated again. Or had it only been in your imagination? โCertainly not about ones like you.โ
You cocked a brow. โHumans like me?โ
โStrong-willed, demanding, determined. Either I am very lucky in choosing you as my wife. Or rather unfortunate. Weโre going to figure it out, right?โ
โAgain, I am not going to be your wife.โ When he didnโt make a move to add something, you asked, โThatโs all? Thatโs why Iโm here? Because you needed a wife and I was justโฆ there?โ
Frankly, the god apparently didnโt know what else to tell you, what you wanted to hear from him. Did you know yourself, though? What kind of explanation did you expect to make you understand your current situation better?ย
โThatโs all.โ
With a start, you jumped out of your seat, the chair making squealing noises as you pushed it along the marbled floor. You glared at him so deathly, it would possibly make every other god fear your presence. But he didnโt budge.ย
โIโd rather die.โ
____
โMy master wanted me to bring you here, because he assumed you would feel a bit better in an environment resembling your home.โ
A few more days had passed without you having to meet the god again, plain porridge being brought by Ara directly to your room, assuring you that real food was still being withheld from you, but you also didnโt want to ask and cave. You werenโt crying every day anymore, either because there were no tears left or because you knew it was for vain.
You hadnโt entirely given up though. The god and Ara both had implied that there was a way for you to return. Even if it might be almost impossible, almost was not entirely. But if neither of them were going to tell or show you how, you would rather figure it out yourself than sit here in captivity and boredom if either possibility would result in you not seeing your family ever again.
So it was a lucky coincidence that Ara had brought you to the palaceโs garden, and you would lie if you said that you werenโt in the least bit impressed about it, because it had everything you had ever dreamed of growing and tending back at home.
You stood there, on green grass with your fine slippers, feeling every soily bump beneath your soles, and what you encountered amazed you very much. Patterned throughout the grass were different paths made of cobblestone, passing by rose bushes, colorful flower beds, perfectly trimmed hedges and marble statues that all came together in the middle of the location where a fountain made of limestone stood out, water splashing all around.
โThis is magnificent!โ you called out and followed the path that led to the center, the entire colorful and playful setting building a stark contrast to the red sky, but this was what made it insanely beautiful too, you had to admit. โI didnโt know something would be able to grow here!โ Since you had been brought to the underworld, there was finally something that remotely awoke interest inside of you and let you push your pain and despair to the back of your head only for a little while.
โContrary to popular belief, we can also grow fruits and vegetables here. See?โ
Ara pointed at a tree that you were passing, red pomegranates hanging from the branches. After weeks of nearly tasteless porridge that was supposed to break your iron will, only the image of the crimson seeds caused your mouth to water immediately. They had been withholding this from you all along? The things you would have done just to taste something different were unimaginable, and you stretched out your hand, reaching for the fruit. You were just so hungryโฆ
โCareful!โ Ara warned you.
You reclined your hand, alarmed. โWhat is it?โ
โSeven seeds.โ A manly vice from behind you let you jump. โSeven seeds only, and youโll be stuck here forever. Take one and you wonโt be able to stop, because they taste so ungraspable wonderfully on a human tongue. Everything growing in the underworld will bind you to this realm and you will never be able to return to earth ever again.โ The god walked towards you both and Ara did a curtsy while you refused to copy her greeting. โThank you for bringing her here, youโre dismissed, Ara.โ
You were petrified when a thought slowly sank in while the servant left you both alone. โBut Iโve been eating-โ
โMortal food all along,โ the god clarified. Today, he was dressed more casually and wasnโt wearing a crown like the last time you had met, you silently remarked. โThatโs why you were served plain oats only. At least they always taste the same. Everything else we bring down here from earth rots right away. Theyโre living things, not made for death.โ
You looked at the pomegranate tree, then back at him. You had been served porridge from your first day on before you even met, and a few days ago, he had been served the same dish as you, hadnโt he? Why? โYou could have easily fed me these all along, and I wouldnโt have known. Why havenโt you?โ
โI decide over the fates of the dead humans, not the living. I guess I always wanted to give you a choice, no matter how slim this chance might be. Deep inside, I assume I just couldnโt take someone against their will entirely.โ His honesty bewildered you. That was not what he had indicated the first time you talked. โEven if youโre a human, you always have a choice. Even now you do.โ
โI havenโt been given the choice whether I wanted to come down here,โ you spoke monotonously, shaking off the expression he directed at you that nearly bordered sympathy.ย
The god lifted his hand and plucked a pomegranate from the tree. Twisting it apart and presenting the red seeds in equal halves to you, your tongue instantly lusted after the taste of the fruitโs delicious flesh. You had only tasted pomegranate seeds once in your life, back then when you had saved enough money to buy a half from a piepowder. But you still remembered that moment very well, because it was so special.
โI was probably too naive as I have never been to the mortal world myself. I could only rely on what the other gods told me, and they all said the same thing.โ
โWhich was?โ You averted your eyes from the pomegranate halves before you went insane from hunger.ย
โThat humans would do anything to live in the godly realms, leeching off everything they were offered, such as luxury and eternal youth. That humans are simpletons you could control, could do anything with.โ He clearly saw you gulping, which was probably why he quickly added, โBut I only wanted a wife, so I took my sweet time making a decision that day. A wrong and hasty decision after all, as it turned out that Iโm the simpleton here.โ He plucked the seeds from the pomegranate halves and placed them into his hand. You counted seven. Then, he squeezed his palm together, red juice dripping from his fingers onto the soil, staining it like blood. โYou better make sure not to go near these in case your craving makes you go crazy.โ
To weigh yourself in better safety, you turned your face away from him. โHow do I get away from here? Tell me.โ
The god drew in a sharp breath. โSomeone must get you. Someone from earth must come down here and take you back.โ
You got a feeling you didnโt want to know the details to thatย โAnd how would they do that?โ
To that, he didnโt seem to have a specific answer. โI cannot tell you as I donโt know exactly myself. I heard that there are ways humans can actually summon certain gods, and depending who they are able to reach, they might help if theyโre in the mood. The god of the sea demands a human offering for example, but the god of the wind on the other hand just doesn't want his mortal companion to speak a single word all the way to our realms.โ
โWhy would they do that to humans?โ you called out in frustration. โThatโs madness!โ
โTo bargain with a god is a very dangerous game that they love to play all day long. Humans are pawns to them, a mere distraction to their boring lives.โ A touch of snideness swung with his explanation that you couldnโt classify yet and thus dismissed.
โAnd what would you demand to bring humans here if you donโt take them against their will?โ
The god rolled his pupils, his patience seemingly still not wearing out while you just wouldnโt let go of this topic when he replied full with regained composure, โNobody ever did that, itโs quite not possible since my kingdom is separated from the mortal realms. But the gods of the elements or other parts of the earth are always there.โ
โSo that meansโฆ My mother and my sister have to find their own way to come down here. And depending on who they can reach out to, they either face an impossible quest or death?โ
โNot very positively worded, but right.โ He shrugged. โI guess so. Of course this applies to any human who would search for you, not only to them.โ
โAnd before that happens, I will need to stay here?โย
โThatโs correct.โ
When you sucked in a rush of air, he braced himself for an outburst, but you only asked with a threatening calmness, โWhy me?โ
For such a question, the god apparently wasnโt prepared well enough. And even ifโฆ you were sure his answer wouldnโt have changed from the following dissatisfying one, โAs I said, I was given the chance to wander the earth for a day and choose a wife.โ
โThatโs not what I meant. I asked โWhy me?โ What did I do? Why not someone else?โ
For the first time, you got the impression that you had taken him off guard as he raised his brows, not to talk back haughtily, but because he was genuinely confused and didnโt know how to answer. โWhyโฆ you? I canโt exactly say why youโฆโย
โSo, the fact that Iโm here is merely a coincidence?โ There was a sharp edge to the way you uttered these words, and you nearly felt sorry. Nearly.
โI wouldnโt say that,โ he patiently defended himself in that situation. โIt was still my own decision. But the reasonโฆโ
โBe quiet! I have never been given a choice!โ You laid your palms flat against his chest, pushing him away from you while anger burned beneath your skin like fever. He stumbled backwards although he could fight you easily. But he didnโt. โYou have robbed me of that decision the day you stole me away! You have only fed me mortal food to satisfy your own conscience, but I have never been given a choice in the first place! Donโt talk to me like you actually respect humans, because you donโt!โ
You saw him startled as if he were human too, a natural, human reaction, and that fueled your anger even more. โBut if someone comes to-โ
โNobody will come to get me!โ you yelled. โNobody will come, because my mother and sister arenโt able to! I only have them, no one else! Iโll be stuck here, and all because of you! I have no free will! You have chosen the only human with no choice at all!โ
You spun around on your heel and left the garden with him not following suit. And you were glad about it as the first tears started to fall again.
______
You spent your days restlessly wandering through the entire palace and the connecting garden, with no real destination other than the intention of wanting to make time pass in hope something life-alternating would happen. But it never did.
You rarely saw the god and you were grateful for that, only remaining in contact with Ara and the other servants. But despite them trying their best, they werenโt able to fill the gap your family had left. With each passing day, the hole inside of you grew larger. And with each passing day, you wondered how much bigger it must still grow until it made you end this once and for all.
Once again, you were standing in the garden, listening to the stream while having to watch the god cross the bridge every morning and evening to ride somewhere past the horizon as you started to notice a few days ago. You had never asked him about where he was going even though you were very curious about what laid beyond the river. If you wanted to find out thoughโฆ
โI wouldnโt even think about it,โ you heard an unknown male voice talk behind you that wasnโt as deep as this palaceโs owner. โThatโs the river of oblivion. Once you fall into it, you forget where you are, what you are and first and foremostโฆ who you are.โ
You spun around and encountered a man only a bit shorter than the god of this place with flaming, dark red hair, donned in all black with golden embellishments. You had never seen him here before, and his glamorous garments as well as sophisticated and elegant aura gave away that he was not a servant, but of a much higher status and with much power.
โJaehyun told me that he had taken in a human to make his wife, so I wanted to see her myself.โ
Jaehyunโฆ In comparison to the god of this realm whose name was Jaehyun as you now knew, this person had a much friendlier appearance with a smile that was inviting and a voice that sounded playful. โAnd you areโฆ?โ
โThe god of sun and light, and everything bright and pleasant. Iโm very pleased to meet you, mistress.โ
He stretched out his hand and took your fingers into his. Oddly, you didnโt withdraw but let him do so as you werenโt scared of him. After everything that had happened to you these past weeks, you felt numb to almost everything.
You sucked in a rush of air though as he lifted your hand and led it to his lips, pressing a kiss on our knuckles and causing you to gasp in surprise. It was not your first physical interaction with a man apart from your family, but the first with no ulterior motif from either side, a chaste and respectful gesture. You were taken aback and impressed at the same time.
โI must admitโฆ if I were Jaehyun, I would have chosen you as well.โ
You were flattered, but not impressed. โIt doesnโt change the fact that I donโt like being here.โ
โAfter all this time you still think like this?โ He raised his brows. โIโm impressed. Every other mortal would have caved already.โ
โWellโฆ Iโm not like them.โ
โObviously.โ He tilted his head and smiled again. โHave you ever tried getting accustomed to this place? Itโs not as boring as it looks like. Especially beyond the river. Even though I prefer the light, this darkness has something comforting, I must admit.โ
โEnough, Taeyong,โ another male voice cut through the air that you knew very well. โI didnโt invite you here today to put ideas into her head.โ
โEven I see her potential, Jaehyun,โ your new acquaintance talked back immediately. โTake her with you to the ha-โ
โI said enough,โ the god interrupted. โShe has expressed more than once that she wants to go home, so if you donโt have a solution for that, I would rather have you stay quiet.โ
โWhat is there?โ you urged the sun god to speak, suddenly full of hope again. โWhat is beyond the river?โ
But it was the underworldโs god that answered instead, โThere is only death, so donโt even think about escaping through these lands. There is no way you will make it out there alive all by yourself.โ
And with that, the topic was closed as he disappeared with the sun god back into the palace, leaving you behind in wonder about what there still was to this realm that you had to unravel. If you wanted to unravel that.
Later that evening, you caught Taeyong intending to leave through the main entrance, luckily all by himself. You jumped out from your den, causing him to nearly get a heart attack judging by the way he leapt back with a scream, and asked with a hushed voice,
โWhat is beyond the river of oblivion?โ
Your fingers grabbed the sleeves of his shirt, and he leaned in to you, replying with an equally low tone, โHeโs right, there is only death. But that is probably what you are looking for.โ
And with another smile, he left through the gates, having opened up more questions than actually having answered one.ย
____
โWhere are you going?โ
Jaehyun cocked his head to the side on his way out of the palace when he got surprised by you in the entrance hall the next day. โUnderworld duties.โ
โTake me with you,โ you demanded, noticing that he was formally dressed and wearing his crown again as always when he left the palace. โItโs where you always leave to, right? Take me with you.โ
He frowned. โWhat?โ
โYou heard me very well. I want to come with you,โ you repeated and approached him until you stood right in front of him, already fully dressed in a cloak that Ara had pulled out of the closet for you. โTake me with you.โ
He looked down at you, then let out an ambiguous chuckle. โYou think if I take you with me out there, you will find a way to escape? You can put that idea right out of your mind. As a mortal, there are more gruesome fates than falling into the river of oblivion that will await you when you roam out there freely all by yourself. This is the underworld, after all.โ
It didnโt pass by you that he, for the first time, used the term โmortalsโ, not โhumansโ, a fine but significant difference. You wondered whether not all gods and sprites and whatever creatures also resided here were immortal. And if he was immortal too.
It was as though he could read everything shooting through your mind at that moment. Skepticism, anger, disappointment, then again, hope. He had seen right through you. But perhaps not entirely though as there was something he hadnโt discovered yet: the slight seed of curiosity that had been planted by the god of sun yesterday.
What was beyond the river that you were supposedly looking for?ย
โStill,โ you brought yourself to say and clenched your fists, moving your feet in restlessness.ย โTake me with you. What am I supposed to do here all day, all by myself?โย
โNo,โ the god roared, deep and dominant, and you actually withdrew in response to his suppressed outburst. Regret turned visible in his expression as though he hadnโt intended to sound so harsh as he continued gentler, โNo mortal has ever roamed the grounds of hell, and I wonโt be the first one to allow one to do so.โ
But you wouldnโt give in so easily. โTake me with you nonetheless!โ You took a few steps forward until you stood right in front of him and with your fists, you now hammered against his chest. โTake. Me. With. You!โย
Coming down at his strong muscles with your hands over and over again, it felt like striking against those palace stone walls, sharp pain shooting up to your shoulders with each forceful motion, and it made you even madder. You now screamed, wanting your way and letting your anger and despair all out - but he withstood it all.
Even when you exhausted yourself, you didnโt give up, even when your motions grew slower and sloppier, your breathing more irregular. That was until he caught your striking fists with his palms, stopping your rebelling behavior with a single grip, obviously fed up now. His hands were so big in comparison to yours, and so unexpectedly warm and strong too.
โYou done?โ the god asked relaxedly when you had finally stopped fidgeting.
You had your teeth bared, glaring at him, but you weren't physically fighting anymore. Your chest heaved up and down, in unison with his, and for a moment, you both had your gazes locked, surveying each other until a smile raised the corners of his mouth, and it wasnโt in the least bit mocking.
You became aware of the fact that the god was still holding your hands, but it was something entirely else from when the sun god had taken yours into his. They were both gestures with different intentions, but somehow, this one caused your cheeks to heat and change color, and additionally, your heart to skip half a beat.ย
With feigned disgust, you scowled and shook him off, then hid your arms behind your back in the safety of the cloak.
โIโll get the horse prepared for two people.โ The god looked at you for a second too long, which irritated you very much, then spun around. You didnโt know what had made him change his mind, but in the end, it didnโt matter. โPull up the hood and make sure to protect your face at all times. The ride can get really dusty.โ
As you followed him outside, there was a black-maned horse waiting for you both. You stood behind him, intimidated and amazed by the enormous animal at the same time.ย
โImmortal horses are fascinating, arenโt they?โ he asked you. โEvery god owns at least one divinely-bred.โ
He swung upon the horseโs back after a servant had saddled it properly for two, moving backwards to leave more space in the front. The next moment, he had grabbed you by your waist and heaved you on the horseโs back like you weighed nothing. Luckily, your skirts were wide enough for you to settle your legs on either side of the animal.ย
The god then hauled you against his chest with one swift motion, his strong forearm pressed into your upper stomach. Before you could snap for air, he loosened his grip on you again, but left his hand resting right under your ribcage, always on the alert to secure your position if you tended to teeter too much to one side. You swallowed hard as the horse started galloping, and before you could notice, the both of you had already crossed the dangerous bridge with its eerie turquoise water, snippets flashing by that you only caught from the corner of your periphery under your wide hood.ย
You knew your attention shouldnโt be on the main riderโs free hand gripping hard on the reins that made his veins pop out and your thoughts spinning with fantasies you had never had of him before, but you couldnโt turn your thoughts away from it either. Pleasant goosebumps ran all down your spine whenever you lost your balance for a second and his strong arm around your middle reared you right back.
You didnโt want this. Of course, as a young woman, you had needs and also a fair share of past experiences, but none of it had ever surfaced since you were residing here.
Until now.
____
While you were riding along the rolling plains, you came to a terrifying solution: The redness of the sky didnโt come from the sun and neither from another natural source of light in the underworld that would resemble a planet back up there on earth. In fact, they came from fields far out there close to the horizon. These fields were burning, flames ascending to the sky whose tips you only witnessed when you passed and eventually came to a stop close by.
โThese are the torture fields,โ the god told you. โItโs where souls reside who I refuse to let be reborn. As you might have figured by now, itโs why our sky is always red. The flames never diminish, they only get concealed by the god of sky during night time upon my request.โ
โWhy did you request for him to conceal it?โ
โThe red sky reminds me of what Iโm doing, what my destiny as the god of the underworld is. If I can request for a few hours of peace where Iโm not reminded of the souls on the torture fields that I sent down there myself, that I am the one causing this red sky, I would do anything for it.โ
It was the second time he willingly let you take a quick glance behind his facade, his cold and dark exterior. You wondered whether there was still way more you would need to discover. But would you really want to?
โWhatโs the fate of those on these torture fields?โ you asked instead.
โImagine the worst pain youโve ever felt. Maybe you have once broken a bone or sustained a similar fracture. Now, thatโs not even the full extent of pain a human is able to feel. Multiply it by a thousand. Thatโs close to the pain you have to endure day and night, for all eternity. Frightening, isnโt it?โ
Frightening didnโt even come close to describe the lump in your throat right now. A cold shudder ran down your spine despite you putting much effort into not letting your true emotions slip. โDo they literally burn there on the fields?โ
โSomething like that, yes. If you listen carefully, little rose, you can even hear their screams. My palace is located too far away, but right now, weโre close enough to hear their faint noises.โ He brought the horse to a halt and gave you a sign to remain silent as well. โListen.โ
You did. From the direction of the torture fields, you heard a feeble clamor as though someone was constantly pressing on a pianoโs keyboard, and the tone never subsided. It was a very faint sound, but so eerie that it made the hair on your arms stand up. You imagined pain so gravely, you were never able to stop screaming in agony despite the exhaustion. For all eternity.
โDonโt worry, little rose,โ the god reassured you, and you didnโt flinch when he soothingly nudged your side. It had something calming to it. โSomeone like you wonโt ever land on the torture fields.โ
You wished you could believe him and gulped, hard. โWhat kind of souls would find their fate here?โ
โMurderers mostly, to summon it up. But I decide over all their fates individually, so it might also be possible that someone has committed a grave crime that doesnโt include murder and still ends up on the torture fields. And vice versa.โ
You had been holding in your breath and only noticed when you let out a rush of air. โI see.โ
โWhy are you so tense, little rose?โ the god expressed his concern that seemed genuine to you. โSomeone as pure as you and with a heart as strong as yours would surely get another chance at life.โ
โYou donโt know me,โ you answered repellently, but didnโt shake off his hand that had magically found its way on your shoulder as though he wanted to comfort you physically like a human, but didnโt exactly know how. โYou know nothing about me, you cannot tell.โ
โThatโs true. But I cannot imagine you being a human who deserves to experience endless torture, and Iโve been with my duties for way longer than I can remember.โ
โPerhaps, there are times where even you will get surprised.โ It was intended to be a joke, but your dry voice didnโt make the sentence sound like one, which was why you added a light, choking laughter.ย
โWhat could you have possibly done? Slept with someone before marriage? Screw that, just have fun. Stolen groceries? A peccadillo, nothing grave to be noted down, and even minuscule when you were poor and suffering from hunger. What else? Hurt someone? Most people only physically hurt when they feel threatened or have been hurt themselves before. I could tell you many, many more examples that wonโt justify a destiny on the torture fields for you.โ
You werenโt an appropriate girl in any sense as you had done all of the things he listed, and even many more. Feeling bound to your family for your whole life, you had never quite treasured your virginity until marriage like every other girl and had had way too much fun in the millerโs barn with his eldest son before you came here. Whenever you seemed short of groceries, you had developed a few tricks where letting fruits and vegetables slip into your bag during market visits always went unnoticed. And you randomly and happily thought back to the time you had once smacked a boy who had made fun of your sister and your situation.
And the god of the underworld wanted to tell you that these were all still justifiable?ย
โNo human is untainted, free of sins, little rose,โ he continued. โBut that doesnโt make every person a bad one. As a matter of fact, the majority are good people, and I can sense them from a mile away. Youโre not a bad person who deserves to endure agony for eternity.โ
You rather let him believe for as long as he could.
Though he added, โEverything will come out in the hall of judgment anyway.โ
โThe hall of judgment?โ you asked carefully.
โWhere weโre headed to now. Thatโs where I comply with my duties as the god of the underworld.โ As though he noticed your disarray, he added with an edge, โYou wanted to come with me, right? So be prepared for that.โ
Nothing could have prepared you for what was about to come next.
____
The hall of judgment was a massive cave rather than an actual hall in the semi-darkness of a mountain range that had the river of oblivion flow through. The hollowed ceiling was carried by large pillars merging seamlessly with the stony inside, a long carpet indicating the way. There were only several candles alit, the flames mirrored and broken in the river that threw the reflected lighting into all directions.ย
You were sitting next to the god on a throne of which you were unsure whether it had been there for your entire stay already as he had initially intended you to be his wife. Nonetheless, it made you feel inquisitive and intimidating at the same time, as though you didnโt belong there but couldnโt request being placed elsewhere either.
โThis is where the souls face me, where I decide about their fate. And today, you will assist me,โ the god explained after he had settled next to you.
โAssist you?โ You werenโt repressed, but rather intrigued about what was going to happen here.
โYouโre not going to watch me only, youโre going to judge yourself, whether you send a soul into the river of oblivion from where they will start a new life or send them to the torture fields for eternal pain.โ
You frowned, full of suspicion whether you had heard right. โPardon me? I will decide about their fate? Me?โ
โExactly,โ he confirmed with a proud smile.
You raised a brow, but didnโt refuse instantly, to your very own surprise too. โHow do I know what happened to them?โ
โThey will tell you.โ
โAnd if they donโt speak the truth?โ
โIn the hall of judgment, you are only allowed to speak the truth, otherwise you cannot answer.โ
You had many more questions, but since you had already delayed your arrival, you decided to remain silent and just watch. You trusted him to tell you what to do and when to do, and until then, you would only observe. To your clear surprise, a human in its physical shape walked in the next moment, a young boy, not even ten years of age just yet. Just like your sister.ย
โThey all remain in their human form so as to not shock them,โ the god explained quietly while the boy made its way towards you. โThey will lose their physical shape once I make my judgment, but by then, they wonโt remember anymore.โ
Your expression changed from perplexity to empathy when you encountered the state the young boy was in, ragged clothes, no shoes. He explained that he came right from the streets, having lived there for a few years already.
The child was nervously kneading his wrinkled hat in his hands as he stuttered, โM-my father died overseas w-when I was only a baby. My- my mother was the sole one t-to get us through the first years. U-until we ran out of money. Sh-she died shortly after and Iโฆ I had to start living on the streets a-all by myself.โ
โFor how many years did you live on the streets?โ you asked empathically, not knowing whether you were even allowed to, but it didnโt matter to you at this point. You felt so much sympathy for him, your heart ached.
The boy dropped his head. โThree years.โ
You gasped inaudibly, not wanting to unsettle the boy. Instead, you forced yourself to smile, the sorrow undertone hidden by concealing happiness. โYou did well. For your age, you did so well. You can be proud of yourself. Your mother surely is too.โ
โC-can I ask how did I die?โ
โYou slept in peacefully and didnโt wake up,โ you started, and the god frowned, but didnโt interrupt you, which you appreciated. โIt was really cold, but it didnโt bother you, because for you, it felt like a warm blanket that you got enveloped in. Perhaps, almost like the one in your former home with which your mom would tuck you in. Did you have something like that?โ
With sparkles in his eyes, the boy nodded enthusiastically. โYes, I remember!โ
โVery well. That moment, you dreamed back to your warm house where there were the three of you. You died peacefully, engulfed in a dream that felt like reality.โ
The boy started crying, and you wanted to get up with the intention of offering him a comforting embrace, but the godโs hand latched out onto yours, holding you back. Locking your gazes, he shook his head and you slowly settled back on your throne. โDead souls cannot be touched,โ he whispered only for you to hear. โOtherwise they are doomed to wander these lands forever as nightmarish creatures.โ
โW-what w-ill m-m-my judgment b-be?โ the boy hiccuped as you shifted your attention back to him.
You held yourself back this time to leave the decision to the god himself, but he remained quiet, only giving you a squeeze with his fingers that were still covering yours, both of your hands lying on your side of the armrest. Then, he nodded encouragingly.
So you spoke softly, โYou will get to leave this miserable life behind. You will get to start a new life. You donโt have to suffer anymore.โ
โThank you.โ
And while he was still expressing his gratitude, the god caught you shedding some light tears yourself, but you were smiling throughout them in all honesty, because you were so happy that the little boy wouldnโt need to continue living in a world that had been so cruel to him.
When the boy followed a servant to the outside after the god had officially pronounced the sentence that you had decided on, he started explaining, โThe moment they step into the hall, I know their backstories, I have to tell you. They only explain their own opinion and point of view to me. Since you donโt have that privilege, I let them tell their backstories too. For the little boy, he actually died wh-โ
โNo,โ you declined determinedly, emphasized by the shake of your head. โI donโt want to know. Perhaps, you donโt understand, but Iโm not immune to feelings unlike you who has been doing this for so long. There is only so much I can take in and carry before every single story will break me apart over and over again. Perhaps, itโs better this way, safer. I want to stand by the stories I tell them.โ
โIโm not immune either.โ The look you shared that followed was something between surprise and a mutual understanding, until he followed up, โSo you want to remain?โย
โI want to remain.โ
In a gesture of encouragement, he squeezed your hand again, only now realizing that he hadnโt let go of it all along and that you hadnโt shaken him off, either.
____
By the evening, the god of the underworld had pronounced the sentence to all souls, you only chiming in when it was a case you could relate to, a case which needed a more emotional approach. In the beginning, it had been an overwhelming feeling for you, holding oneโs destiny in your hands as the god of the underworld complied to all the judgments you made without a word of protest.ย
It made you feelโฆ powerful. And helpful, equally. You were able to take the pain away from these sad souls and plant a more pleasant last memory of their former life into their invisible hearts. No matter the real circumstances of their deaths, you always spun stories more pleasant for their ears, so the majority of souls were allowed to jump into the pool of oblivion, looking forward to a new life.
โMy wife killed me, that bitch.โ A middle-aged man spat in front of the dais later that day. โI should have taken her with me.โ
You leaned forward, resting your elbows on your thigh as you pricked up your ears. It was late already, and you started to get exhausted which was why the god had suggested going home after this case. Though this case would turn out way more different than the ones before, you could solely tell by looking at the man.
His obvious rampant demeanor had caught your attention right away, so you asked calmly, โTell me in detail, what did you do to your wife?โ
"Nothing!" he defended himself loudly. โI did no-โ
You remembered that no one was able to lie in the hall of judgment which was apparently why no tone came out of his mouth anymore despite him continuing blabbering. You averted your eyes to your right, wanting to know how the god would react.ย
You didnโt expect anything less than the following, โYou really dare lie in front of the god of the underworld himself?โ
โPlease!โ The man dropped to his knees and brought his hands together under his chin. โI did nothing wrong in my opinion!โ
โHow about we let your mistress decide whether you did something wrong to your wife, hm?โ the god asked threateningly, his eyes narrowed.
โI only wanted to teach her a lesson,โ the man pressed through gritted teeth. โIf she hadnโt stayed out for so long, I wouldnโt have had to use my hands.โ
Your fingers cramped around the armrests, uneasiness settling in where also nausea spread in your stomach, but the latter way faster. You already knew the end to the story before he could draw the entire outline. Again, like before when you had met cases that left you nearly breathless, the godโs palm found its way back to your hand, blanketing it, and his warmth somehow soothed your anger, restraining it. Somehow, you felt it had the same effect on him.
โHow often did you hurt your wife?โ you wanted to hear from the man.
โAs often as I needed to.โ There was no remorse in his voice. โWives have to be obedient to their husbands, and if they arenโt, we have to remind them of our higher position.โ
Anger burned in your veins, the knuckles on your fingers turning white, and even the godโs reassuring gesture could not hold you back from what you were about to say next anymore, โSo you think lowly of women because we are female?โ
โItโs what nature prescribes!โ the man yelled.
โDo you have children?โ you interrogated further, your fingers shaking by now. You were so close to jumping off your seat and physically taking it upon yourself.
โMy wife never gifted me with one,โ he tsk-ed. โAnother task in which she has failed me as a woman.โ
A growl was collecting on your tongue, and you nearly let the sound slip if it werenโt for the god cutting you off, โAnd yet, after your death, you stand in front of one. And this very one is deciding about your fate today.โ
โOh?โ The man took a step back. โForgive me, I havenโt known.โ
โHow about you tell your mistress about the child you deemed unfitting to continue living, no matter how hard it was for your wife to even conceive in the first place? Or the bar woman you impregnated instead, but chased away because you rather wanted to spend the money on alcohol? Or the rich man you once robbed and killed, all in one night?โ
You didnโt need to put a second thought into your decision. He sounded exactly like the kind of man your father had been - ruthless, selfish, and so full of apathy, your chest swelled to the point of exploding.
โTo the torture fields with him.โ
It was the first time for you to use these words, you didnโt recognize your own voice.
____
You sent a man to the torture fields and you enjoyed it.
Even after returning to the palace, you still werenโt able to digest the latest happenings. Again. And again, like in the past, you didnโt feel any remorse afterwards. You felt satisfaction even.
โIs it always like this?โ you asked when you stood in the entrance hall of the dark palace. โThis lingering feeling ofโฆโ
โ... satisfaction.โ A slight smirk was playing around the godโs lips when he looked at your eager expression. โYes. It absolutely is.โ
โWow,โ you breathed, overwhelmed by so much power you had never imagined of ever possessing. โButโฆ what if I made the wrong decision?โ
Was that what the sun god had wanted you to see? A side inside of you that you had repressed for so long? The potential you offered when you were sitting on the throne right next to the god of the underworld?
โThere is no right or wrong in the hall of judgment. There is only one truth. And the truth in that case was that you passed judgment on someone who deserved their fate.โ He inhaled deeply before breaking down to you, โThat is why I want to offer you the throne next to mine.โ
Your head snatched upwards and you drew your brows together in suspicion. โWhat are you saying?โ
โI offer you the title โthe queen of the underworldโ,โ he repeated more clearly, gaze unwavering but not inscrutable. He meant every single syllable, no underlying joke in his voice, the smirk entirely gone and his dark eyes clear.ย
โIโm not going to be your wife,โ you declined immediately again, your voice failing you though, and you were afraid heโd notice.
โI donโt want you to become my wife in that sense if you find that thought so repulsive.โ There was a chuckle simultaneously rolling from his tongue. โI offer you the position of the queen of the underworld. I offer you half my kingdom, a throne next to mine and a crown made of darkness, just like mine.โ
You stood in front of him, feeling very lost at that moment, but also very intrigued. The words that he uttered, you had never dared to even take them into your mouth, let alone speaking them out. โI-โ You opened your mouth, but no refusal came out this time.ย
You wanted to reason with your mother and sister, but living here had made you realize that they were probably better off without you if they were going to get taken care of with gold to last generations. If you would ever get the chance to return to earth, you would need to get married to someone you probably loathed and lived a boring life as a housewife.
Then, you wanted to argue with the fact that you missed the sun, nature, flowers and everything earth offered to you. But did you really? On earth, flowers withered at the end of every summer, months of coldness dominating your part of the world for the majority of the year. You started to question whether you would have lived a fulfilling life if you had continued like this, only looking forward to spring and rotting away in boredom when the world got blanketed with snow, fighting for survival, year after year.
Here in the underworld, there were no such things as seasons. The darkness might have appeared threatening at the beginning, but you had slowly started to grow accustomed to the different lightning and the constant pleasant temperature. By now, you had also found beauty in the absolute darkness of the night and the sunset-like sky during daytime.ย
A conflict spread out inside of you that you had never imagined of ever leading. Had you already found your true fate back then on earth or have you always been destined for more in another world?ย
โYou only want me to stay because you feel lonely, thatโs why youโre offering me the throne,โ was your feeble attempt of rejection. โBut Iโm not like you, Jaehyun. I cannot live this life here.โ
โYou are very much like me, little rose,โ Jaehyun corrected with a growing, new smile you couldnโt define, and then reminded you, โDid you forget that destiny doesnโt only mean endless torture? The little boy who you sent into the river of oblivion, he will get the chance to start a new life, leaving the one behind in which he only experienced sorrow and suffering. How did you feel at that moment? Didnโt you feel helpful, relieved or even happy for him? Because thatโs what will also be required of you as the queen of the underworld. Youโre an executor and a savior both at the same time. Youโll be the most powerful queen to ever exist.โ
โT-tell me,โ you stuttered, โt-tell me the truth. That dayโฆ it might have been a coincidence that you were near me, but what made you choose me?โ
It couldnโt have been a coincidence only. There must be more to it. There must be a reason you were here now, a sign that this was your fate for which you had always been destined. It would give you the ultimate assurance, a reason less to doubt your entire existence.
โArenโt you one sneaky little thing, my rose? I wanted to tell you that day already, but you werenโt ready to hear.โ Jaehyun stretched out his hand and let the tip of his index finger run along your chin. You shuddered - in full pleasure so obvious, he must have felt it too. And he must have also felt your disappointment when he withdrew his hand again. โBefore you appeared hereโฆ I mean, before I stole you - pardon me - I was very lonely. So I asked for one day on earth to search for a fitting wife as I havenโt found one among my own kind. But who I got drawn to, precisely by their sugary scent that even overshadowed the flowers and morning dew wrapped pollen on the fingers, wasnโt a timid daisy in a bed full of asters. It was a rose itself who harbored thorns, and I believe, deep within, I knew all along that I finally found someone not only fit to warm my bed, but to reign alongside me. Seldomly have I met someone so strong-willed and fierce like you, lest a mortal. If you decide against the crown of immortal flowers that I offer you, it will be really unfortunate for me as I paid a huge price for getting you.โ
You gulped. โ...Which price?โย
โI will never be allowed on earth again.โ
You understood why he wanted a companion as you couldnโt imagine living at such a huge place all by yourself either. The corridors were long, dark and branched, servants strictly following their duties and always keeping their distance to their master despite him treating them respectfully. Then, there were the endless rolling plains with nothing but dust and nightmarish creatures. The darkness from the underworld must have taken over his heart a long time ago as well, and he was looking for a glimmer of light.
You just werenโt sure whether you were the right one. He hadnโt been able to give you the entire reassurance you still needed.
โThatโs unfortunate,โ you brought yourself to say eventually. โBut I canโt.โ
A strand of your hair got lifted up, and he twirled it around his finger, observing it closely and seemingly enjoying the softness that curled around his skin. You had never seen him so at your mercy and apologetic before. โI only had one chance that would define my own destiny which will last an eternity. If I made the wrong choice in selecting you, I am deeply sorry. If there was more that I could tell you, I would. But there isnโt. You were there, and I wanted you. Why donโt you want me too, little rose?โ
Your breathing came in hitches. โWhat would that make me, Jaehyun?โ
Leaving your family behind to live in sin here in the underworld. It would make you an outcast, someone expelled from society, someone with no dignity. But then again, when had you ever been someone who was worth more on earth? Werenโt you exactly where you were supposed to be, where darkness reigned like the one which occupied your heart ever since that fateful day a century ago?
Jaehyunโs hand was now on the side of your face, and you fought the urge to nestle against his palm. You relished the feeling the tip of his thumb made when he brushed it over your cheek though, and you wanted more of it, all over your body precisely. You just knew it would be entirely different than what you had experienced with mortal men before. But then again - what would that make you?
โIt would make you a human,โ Jaehyun calmed you, his expression smoothening despite the obvious threat on his throat. โJust like you are. Donโt you ever forget that. You are allowed to accept every part of you, to feel everything youโre harboring.โ
โBut itโs justโฆ so hard,โ you whispered, unsure what he was even talking about anymore, you being queen or the possibility of you two sharing more than the throne, but also a bed.
โYou are a constellation, waiting to be explored and loved. Did any man who ever tried to court you understand that you were so much more than a maiden hidden away in her houseโs backyard? Because I understand.โย
There was something glittering in his eyes despite stars being absent here. You opened your lips and closed them again, fighting so hard against the need of wanting them to taste his.ย
โYou fought so bravely against it. You can allow yourself to finally let go, little rose,โ Jaehyun encouraged you with a low whisper. Again, you were questioning whether he actually meant the darkness in your heart or the need of his lips covering yours.
โI-I-...โ You let out a long breath that you had been holding in this entire time and took a step back, away from him and from his alluring appearance. โIโm tired. I will return to my chambers.โ
You almost stumbled over your own feet running to your chamber, setting one hasty foot after another. When you reached your room, you locked the door behind you as though you were afraid he might follow you and barge in.
As you laid in your bed shortly later, you caught yourself wishing he had done so. And you also caught yourself having naturally addressed him by his name somewhere along the way.
Like he wasn't a distant god or master anymore. But an equal.
____
โDo humans live with you?โ you asked Taeyong the next day after encountering him in the garden, joking around with the servants.ย
Apparently, he had had a few duties close by and decided to pay the dark palace a visit. As it came to your attention through him a short while ago, Jaehyunโs palace was described as such by outsiders.ย
Taeyong laughed, but the smile that he forced himself to wear meanwhile wasnโt sincere. โNo, I donโt support this kind of lifestyle.โ
โWhy? Donโt get me wrong, Iโm on your side, but why does your opinion differ from the other gods?โ
โThe woman I love is a human, what would that make me, abusing her own kind?โ
The pain in his voice couldnโt be ignored, it was too obvious, intended or unintended. But it was not the kind of pain a rejected lover would express. โSo youโre in love with a mortal, I see.โ
โNot just a mortal, a human,โ he corrected. โWe gods are all immortal, but there are other creatures such as sprites who are also otherworldly, but can indeed die, so theyโre mortal. Some humans here have also gained immortality. Mortals and humans are not the same term.โ
He confirmed what you had suspected all along. Finally, you understood why Jaehyun had always spoken about humans only and not about mortals when addressing your kind. It was because in the dark palace, he was the only immortal one.ย
โI understand. Thenโฆ tell me about her, Taeyong. What makes you so sad about her?โ
โThe fact that I donโt want to love her, and she doesnโt want me to love her either, but I would even give up on my immortality just to be with her. I would instantly go and trade my immortality despite a god never having done that before, and I donโt even know whether itโs possible, but if, I would in a heartbeat.โ
The way he spoke about her, soft and passionate, reminded you of the way Jaehyun spoke to you lately, and suddenly yearning tugged on your heartstring, even though he was only a few yards away from you inside the palace.
โIt must be a huge sacrifice for a god to be willing to give up their immortality for a human. It sounds like you sincerely love her.โ
โI donโt love her sincerely,โ Taeyong continued bluntly, shocking you. But a tinge of the same yearning resonated in his tone too, so you were truly confused about his contradicting reaction. โItโs not the kind of love I wish upon anyone. I havenโt chosen her, but every fiber of my heart longs for her love. One day, it will tear me entirely apart. It will be the day she dies.โ
You frowned. โI donโt think I understandโฆโ
โIโm cursed by the god of love. Ironic, isnโt it?โ He let out a laugh, but it didnโt sound amused at all, bitter even. โIโm cursed to love her until the end of days, and sheโs cursed to not reciprocate it.โ
It sounded so sad and unfortunate to you, you didnโt quite know what to say. โIโm so sorry.โ You couldnโt imagine how painful it must be to feel and live like this. And what would happen if she died one day? Would he continue loving her and longing for her when all traces of her had evaporated, for all eternity? You repeated, this time much more sensitively, โIโm so sorry, Taeyong.โ
โNow, donโt look so sad, there is nothing to be sad about,โ Taeyong tried to cheer you up. โI have arranged myself to live like this. Thatโs why I think youโre very lucky.โ
โMe?โ You pointed at yourself. โWhy should I be?โ
โBecause humans still know what true love is. They can decide on who to be with, who to open their hearts to, who to let in. Most gods solemnly seek for the comfort of a warm body next to them at any given time, or marry only out of convenience. Some gods are cursed, just like me, some even happen to face a worse fate. Only the minority donโt seek for a puppet or an arrangement, but a real partner. Like Jaehyun.โ
You sneered. โAccording to everyone else, heโs one of the most powerful gods in your entire realm. Why would he care for a real partner, a human even?โ
โYou donโt know him very well, do you? He might have only searched for a timid wife to sit next to him in the throne hall and perhaps show him a bit of affection. But that would have never been enough for him, and he always knew, otherwise he would have picked the first human he saw.โ
โAll Iโm saying is,โ you defended your opinion, โI might not be the right person for whatever he requires of me.โ
Taeyong shrugged, but not with an indifferent intention. โYou might be the exact right person for this as he doesnโt require anything from you except for you just to be you.โ
โWhy would you say that?โ you sighed, distressed.
โJaehyun traded his permission to be allowed on earth to find you. It was risky and stupid, I can admit that, but at least he went after what he had been searching for this entire time. It impresses me very much. Doesnโt it impress you too?โ
โThatโs not a good enough reason. He only had one shot,โ you tried to understand. โAnd he picked me. What if he chose wrong?โ
โThat is your perception.โ Taeyong smiled, no trace of sadness anymore. โMine is that he was a lonely man looking at a million women in the span of half a day. And he didnโt need to look at a million other women and take the remaining hours to settle with the last possible option out of pure panic, because he ran out of time. He went for what caught his eye, felt right to him and gave him hope. Isnโt that a good enough reason?โ
You fell into silence.ย
โAh, I must go now. But just let me tell you this one last thing.โ You raised your brows in expectation, watching Taeyong shift around and seamlessly continuing without looking back, โJaehyun is the god of the underworld. Never has he made a wrong decision.โ
You wished you didnโt believe him.
____
Jaehyun probably knew it the moment you walked into the great hall that day. He probably saw it in the nervous flickers of your eyes, he probably smelled it in the light sheen of sweat glistening around your cleavage, probably heard it in the ragged breaths of your lungs.ย
You had come to kill him.ย
But he didnโt say a single word.
Your walk wasnโt as determined and full of confidence as usual, the steps barely heard as though you might change your mind every second. The silver blade was glistening between your fingers and then slipped up your sleeve again in hope he hadnโt seen.
โDid you think about my offer, little rose?โ Jaehyun asked almost nonchalantly as he moved on his throne, but didnโt descend.ย
Today, he was wearing his dark crown at home again. Ironically, on his death day too, you thought silently to yourself. โYes,โ you announced and let your head drop when you stood in front of him. โI canโt.โ
โAnd why is it that you think that you canโt? Youโre a human, someone with a free will. We gods donโt have that.โ
โItโs because I have a free will that I decide against your offer.โ
โVery well. I accept that.โ He let out a long sigh that didnโt sound in the least bit agitated though. โIf you ever change your mind while youโre still here, I am willing to get back to my offer.โ
โIโm afraid there is not enough time.โ
Then you lashed out, and theย next moment, he had a knife to his throat, blood spilling where the blade cut into his skin. It was only lightly, but enough to tear apart even the sheerest of paper. You didnโt dare to push deeper, your trembling fingers clinging onto the handle when you settled on his lap with your legs locking him in place on either side.
โWhy donโt you stab me?โ Jaehyun whispered, not moving a single inch.
You were aware he couldnโt die, not from your mortal hands. This action was your feeble attempt and last resort of holding onto something you should have left behind the moment you had stepped into the darkness: humanity. If you stabbed him, you wouldnโt feel the same as with your father back then. If you stabbed him, you would feel remorse, and that would remind you that you were still all that - a human.
You ground your teeth, breathing irregularly while having difficulties remaining the knife in its position. Jaehyun was still sitting quietly beneath you, looking up at you with expectant eyes that didnโt mirror anything like reproach or anger. He knew you wouldnโt do that, he knew that exactly, and that fueled your despair even more, because, in the end, you had known all along too.
โYou can defy everything, little rose, even me,โ Jaehyun muttered, stretching out his hand that then touched a strand of your hair and gently tucked it behind your ear. โBut the truth is that you want me, and this life. And itโs killing you. Not me.โ
You had never wanted to be anything less than extraordinary, but no one had ever told you that you could possibly be bound for so much greater either. Restless in your own world, you had tended flowers day for day, wondering if there was more to life than the one you were living. You had always been subconsciously rattling on the invisible chains of simplicity, boredom and too much comfort, struggling to let go fully.
And now he, the god of the underworld himself, was pressed into the throne in front of you, not fighting back under the threat of your knife, even though he was able to unalive you with only the flick of his finger. He was patiently waiting for your decision, had seen and fostered your potential from the very beginning.
You werenโt a timid little flower in the backyard anymore.ย
You were the dangerous seeds of pomegranates.ย
โTell me, little rose, will you accept even the darkest parts of you like I do?โ
A few beats of silence passed by where Jaehyun only heard your rattled breathing going hand in hand with the erratic rhythm of your chest heaving up and down, until the knife dropped to the dais with a loud noise. His fingers grazed over your scalp, settling there shortly before they grabbed a bundle of hair, preparing to haul you to him.
But he didnโt need to. Willingly, you leaned down, stopping right before your lips touched his, wavering in that moment a little too long. Jaehyunโs fingers slipped from the back of your head past your ear, touching your cheek. He was so close, you could feel his breath stroking your chin as his finger tips slid further, trailing over your bottom lip.
Your eye contact was so strong and more intense unlike anything you had ever experienced before. He was exploring the deepest parts of your soul with his gaze only, making you wonder how much longer it would take Jaehyun to unravel all of you without even having touched you more intimately.
Instinctively, you parted your lips, and he slipped his thumb past them. With the tip of your tongue, you licked over his skin, then started sucking on his finger. This gesture had something so tainted yet intimate to it, you feared that he might withdraw right away, but the look in his eyes and his own slightly agape mouth only reassured you of the fact that he found it as seductive as you.ย
But Jaehyun was still awaiting your answer before it was processed. You were sure though that whatever would start to happen next, it would be world-destructive in so many senses. You only hoped you would be prepared for it.
You sucked in a huge breather and Jaehyun retracted his hand from your mouth as he assumed you wanted to say something. There was much expectation lying behind his awaiting eyes, even though you both knew by now what your answer would be.
โBeg.โ
Jaehyun cocked a brow. โPardon?โ
โBeg for it.โ
You could clearly see the struggle in his eyes, and even a touch of indignation, but as he saw how serious you were about it, he apparently swallowed all his pride.
โPlease,โ he growled lowly. โBe my queen.โ
โYou donโt have to be alone anymore,โ you finally whispered as you hovered above him with not much resistance.
At this moment, you laid bare in front of him, with your soul and mind at his mercy, and he could do anything he wanted with it.ย
But he didnโt.ย
Instead, Jaehyun let you come forward and close the last remaining space between the two of you as you pressed your lips against his, reassuring him of your wordsโ honesty. You had made your decision, and you were willing to take everything that came along with it - including the god of the underworld himself.
Suddenly, Jaehyun gasped in shock when he tasted something familiar on your tongue.ย
There it was.
Pulling away, he snatched your hand, spotting red stains on the tips of your fingers and whispering breathlessly, โPomegranate seeds.โ And then louder, โYou ate pomegranate seeds!โ
You clarified, โSeven of them, to be exact.โ
By the way he examined your lips and licked over his own, he must by now also spot and taste the red seeds on your own mouth that had passed by him before.ย
"You deceived me,โ Jaehyun realized. โYou never needed me to beg for you to be queen.โ
โI needed to be sure you truly meant it,โ you disclosed the truth to him. โWhether you would be able to lay your title aside for me and open up to me about what you truly want, as a man and not as a king. Whether you would see me as an equal.โ
He hesitated. โWhat if I had said no?โ
One edge of your mouth curved upwards. โFrom the very beginning, I knew you wouldnโt.โ
โHow lucky you are, as a queen isnโt to be opposed,โ he then said with a smirk, โsheโs to be obeyed and worshiped.โ
When your lips came together again and his hands grabbed hard on the tender flesh of your buttocks, you were both aware that you had never needed to be convinced to stay with him in the first place.
_____
Jaehyunโs hands werenโt on your face anymore as his mouth gave you all the attention you needed there, lips and tongue deep inside you. Instead, you felt his palms pressing into your exposed thighs after he had successfully and nearly imperceptibly pulled your skirts up, skin grazing against skin, his touch causing you to shudder with craving so unfathomable, you believed you were going to burst. This time, from bliss only.
His tongue outlined the form of your lips, your mouth then again melting into the kiss you two were sharing, so passionate and full of yearning as though you had been waiting a lifetime for only this moment. In both of your cases, it was applicable - the god of the underworld who had been alone all along, and a mortal girl who was bound for so much more than a simple life on earth.
Your back arched into Jaehyunโs body when his hands wandered upwards and curled into the curve of your spine, his fingers dancing across the naked skin under all the fabric which hung flattery around your figure. Without breaking your kiss, you gripped onto the very first button of his black shirt and undid it, your hands stained with the blood of the wound that you had caused earlier.
Snapping back to reality, you bounced back with a gasp, inspecting Jaehyunโs neck that now looked surprisingly unscathed where your knife had once slid through, only the spilled blood remaining. โWha-โ
โWe gods heal way faster than humans, because thatโs what we areโฆโ he explained patiently, โimmortal.โ
That was something you hadnโt put further thought into, but absolutely made sense considering that you technically couldnโt kill him. Somehow, a bad conscience still seeped into you, so you said, โIโm sorryโ with much regret in your voice.ย
โDonโt apologize, little rose,โ was only his answer, adorned with a smile while his fingers fiddled with the collar around your cleavage. โYou did what you had to do. It was important to me that you weighed all your options and still decided to be with me.โ
Jaehyun tugged on your sleeves, pulling the upper part of your dress all the way down. The fabric settled around your hips with loud rusting, and only now you noticed that he had grown distinctively hard between your thighs. It aroused you very much as well, a cool breeze caressing your breasts and making your nipples turn hard.ย
You had never carefully paid attention to what you considered flaws on your body, but the god sitting under you was incontrovertibly perfect and you, as a human, certainly didnโt perceive yourself in the same way. There was nothing to hide your naked body behind in this short span of doubt, but your shoulders slacked nonetheless, especially in this dominant position, and he noticed.
Jaehyun lifted you off his lap with a surprised sound falling from your lips. Your thighs were locked around his hips and you held onto him while he descended from the throne and placed you with your back on the carpet in front of the dais. With your arms slung across your chest while now lying in front of him, you tried to hide from him what you considered unpleasant for his eyes. You had never had this problem during your fleeting intimate encounterings before.
โPlease donโt be insecure,โ Jaehyun spoke gently, looming over you. โYouโre so beautiful, I canโt take my eyes off you.โ
Oddly, you believed every single word and willingly freed your chest as your thoughts and worries started to leave your mind. His tongue flicked over your nipple and with a moan, you threw your head back against the carpet, your fingers buried in his thick hair which was free from a crown now, scratching his scalp when he decided to gently suck on your peaks in alternation. It made you grow hot and wet in your nether regions, and you started to ache with the need for release.
You whined when Jaehyun suddenly withdrew, but let out a yelp when he grabbed your thighs, yanking you towards him and burying his face between your legs under the many layers of your skirts. His tongue indulged you, making hard passes over your folds before flicking your clit over and over. You hadnโt known what to expect of a god, but literally devouring you kind of made sense now.
His tongue was long, wet and thick, and it slid over your exposed parts in delightful strokes, the groaning sounds Jaehyun made meanwhile vibrating through you and almost making you cum on spot if it werenโt for him deciding to use his lips next. They felt full and warm on your wetness when he sucked on you, and you calmed down a bit, moving your body to the same sensual rhythm as his caressing mouth.ย
โYou taste better than the pomegranate seeds,โ Jaehyun told you when he appeared by your face again, licking over his wet lips.ย
He wanted to prolong the act, but that didnโt withhold him from having fun, so he started playing with you through his rough fingers rubbing soft circles around your clit while observing you with a satisfied grin. These fingers then moved past your barrier and started to thrust inside of you, causing you to fidget with your legs, wanting to get rid of the dress that you suddenly didnโt see as a protection from your mortality anymore, but an annoyance.
Jaehyun, as though an expert in reading your needs now, helped you with that and dragged the entire dress down your legs, throwing it aside. You watched him then elegantly and calmly undressing himself too, and when he dropped on his knees in front of your spread legs, entirely naked, his appearance just took your breath away.
He was magnificent. And he had decided on you to make his queen. Out of all creatures, mortal and immortal, human and god, he had decided on you. Suddenly, you didnโt see it as a punishment anymore, but a blessing. You were so lucky.
Jaehyun positioned himself between your thighs, slowly stroking his length against your entrance that was already slick with precum. You guessed everything that worked for humans worked for gods too. And that also included pain as you hadnโt had sex in so long already.
There was indeed a pang as he pushed himself inside, but it lasted only the break of a second that he luckily didnโt catch before it melted into pleasure, and it was the kind of pleasure you hadnโt been able to ever fathom before. It felt like something fell into place, like finding something that you had grasp seeking for all your lifetime and had just now discovered.
The way he slid his length in, slowly, inch by agonizing inch, was what you would describe as pure bliss, the most decadent, indulgent pleasure you had ever felt. You reached down and grabbed his bum, pulling him into you so that he sank even deeper if that were even possible as he had already hit the brim.
โAlready so insatiable, little rose?โ Jaehyun groaned with an underlying chuckle, propping his hands against the carpet on either side of you. โOr should I call you โmy queenโ from now on?โย
He wasnโt even expecting an answer as he knew your clear response to it. His first thrust then inside of you was already so powerful, it nearly knocked the air out of your lungs.ย
You werenโt his captive, nor his prisoner. He had never seen you as such. You were soon to be the queen by his side, his equal. Yet, all you wanted was him to fuck you senseless, devour you, ravage you, and worse. And you had the feeling that the god of the underworld wouldnโt mind doing all that as the sinister grin on his lips slightly gave away while you whispered almost absent-mindedly,
โMore, more!โ
Your fingers curled around the rug beneath you whenever he pulled back, his muscles straining and drawing in a deep breath before he slammed right back into you, causing you to gasp loudly, the echo getting carried across the wide hall. You hadnโt deemed it to be possible, but you swore that with every thrust, he drove in even deeper. A cry strangled in your throat, your vision rolling back as you had difficulties keeping eye contact with him. Your naked bodies moved together in unison despite you having feared at first that you might have forgotten how this act worked.ย
For this being you twoโs first joining, you didnโt feel inferior or controlled like in the past when you had used sex and everything forbidden only as a coping mechanism. Every noise you made, whether dry moaning or lustful cry, was because of pure pleasure, and Jaehyun always responded with a short pause where he looked you longingly in the eyes and halted his motions for a moment before starting off shallowly again as though he quite couldnโt believe you were there. You couldnโt either.
With each kiss, you felt adored. With each touch, you felt appreciated. With each thrust, you felt worshiped. It wasnโt only about him, but about you too, regardless of your human nature.ย
Pleasure quickly started to build and grow within you, and you were afraid you were going to faint on the spot as Jaehyunโs rhythm changed and he picked up his pace. Your mortal body was supposedly too weak and too fragile to take everything he could give all at once despite you wanting to explore everything, all of it.ย
But you couldnโt just yet, despite him clearly willing to give you all you needed, for as long as you wanted. If you continued, you feared you might really splinter and be impossible to put back together, dying right there in his arms, because the bliss was too much for a human to take in.
โPlease,โ you were the one begging now, your hands coming forward and clutching around his toned arm muscles. โI canโt anymore. I need to-โ
โVery well, my queen.โ
The new title was music to your ears, and the moment you saw stars exploding in front of your eyes, you also witnessed the sparkles merging and forging a crown made of darkness, just like his.
You were screaming and writhing under him, grabbing onto anything, something just to make sure that you would stay here and not fly off into another realm or worse, back to earth. But you were still with Jaehyun when you calmed down and his own orgasm ripped through him, the god of the underworld coming undone right above you.
His chest heaved as he tried to regain his breath, his toned body gleaming with sweat, but he still took his time to end your session with a kiss on your mouth that sealed the eternal proposal you had accepted.
โThis is the only time I wouldnโt mind giving up power as a queen,โ you reminded him as he pulled you to his chest, still there on the carpet. โDonโt you forget that.โ
โVery well, my queen.โ
You couldnโt see his face, but you felt his smile on you.
____
When you woke up the next morning, you only after a short while realized that you werenโt in your own chambers. Warmth rose to your cheeks when you remembered what happened after you had threatened Jaehyun with a knife. And after that. And after that again. Andโฆ
Each joining had lasted longer than the one before, him giving more and you taking more, until your experience wasnโt only earth-shattering, but also soul-rendering. Every session tightened the bond that had formed between the two of you even stronger, and you wondered how long it would take until it couldnโt break anymore. Perhaps, it had never been destructible to begin with.
You blinked against the dim reddish light and got into a seating position before observing the room that was almost identical to yours, probably just a bit bigger, furnished fuller and more luxuriously.ย
โI figured you wanted to remain true to mortal customs.โ
You hadnโt spotted Jaehyun sitting on the edge of the bed, hair messy and body bare safe from a pair of satin bottoms. Again, you remembered that on earth, you had never seen a human so beautiful like him. You couldnโt even bring yourself to believe there was.
โWhat do you mean?โ you asked with a raspy voice, and he apparently found it endearing in the way he reacted to your question.
โI heard that on earth, after you propose marriage and the other person accepts, youโre engaged. Thatโs the time before the actual wedding, right? And that the woman is gifted a diamond ring. At least thatโs what Taeyong told me.โ
โThatโs right,โ you confirmed, but you had never seen a real diamond ring before. When people in your village got engaged, they usually bought a cheap ring or used an heirloom, but as you had never expected to get married, you had never put much thought into owning one yourself.
โI didnโt know which kind of stone you liked and neither which kind of cut you preferred, let alone the color,โ Jaehyun spelled out, insecurity swinging in his undertone. โI spent the entire rest of the night only deciding on that.โ He slid closer to you along the mattress which let you spot the softness in his voice resonating in the look of his eyes. โAnd then I came to the conclusion that all of that doesnโt matter. Trivial things like these donโt matter to you. Butโฆ I still wanted to give the mortal girl I stole from her family a diamond ring. Simply because she deserves it.โ
From the corner of your periphery, you spotted something glittering. When he opened his palm fully, a dainty silver ring got revealed to you, a black diamond sitting on the very top. Its shape reminded you of a blossoming flower, held together by silvery thorns that twined along the outline.ย
โItโs the shape of a rose,โ Jaehyun explained, โcut of diamonds from deep inside the mountains where only the residing god has access to.โ
A rose for his beloved little rose cut of stone in the same color as their hearts.
It was the most beautiful jewelry you had ever seen, one of those you usually only read about in fairytale books. Jaehyun reached out his hand and took yours into his, sliding the ring along the right finger until it sat perfectly where an engagement ring was supposed to be seen. You had never wanted to pay much attention to materialistic stuff, but as soon as you saw the diamond adorning your hand, you were flooded with so much pride and an overwhelming feeling of finally having found your place in this world that it drove tears into your eyes.
โDidโฆ did I do something wrong?โ Jaehyun suddenly sounded so worried and squeezed your fingers together, expressing his concern. โIsnโt it what you wanted? We can change the diamond, the color, or if you donโt want a ring at a-โ
You shook your head. โItโsโฆ itโs not that. The ring is perfect. This is perfect.โ
โWhat is it then?โย
Pause. โI donโt want to be your queen.โ
He let go of your hand, his forehead now in creases. โSo, you donโt want to get married to me anymore?โ
โNo.โ You shook your head. โI donโt want to be your queen only.โ
The frowns only deepened. โWhat are you saying?โ
โAt the beginning, you wanted me as your wife, but I refused. Later on, you said you were looking for a queen. I only accepted to be a queen, not a wife.โ
โThat is correct.โ
โAsk me again.โ
โWhat?โ
You chuckled. โAsk me again.โ
Jaehyun needed a moment to process, but then his eyes started to sparkle when it dawned on him what you were trying to ask of him. He then took your hand with the engagement ring back into his and held your fingers in front of his chest, the black rose diamond sparkling in the candlelight.ย
โWill you marry me? Will you become my wife, loved and cherished every single day, and also become my queen, reigning over the underworld with me?โ
Loved and cherished? You had never heard someone speaking these words in the same breath and directing them at you. And now you had the king of the underworld offering you more than you had ever thought possible on earth. He sealed his proposal with a kiss that he gently placed on the top of your knuckles, right by the diamond.
You let your fingers slip out of his palm and shifted your arm to sling them both around his neck. With a careful movement, you motioned in his direction, his hands on your waist guiding you until you settled on his lap, eye to eye with him.
โWill you love and cherish me always?โ With your thumbs, you tenderly brushed over the back of his neck. โWhatever will happen?โ
โI will always love and cherish my wife and queen,โ he replied. โSo please, marry me. And this is the only time I will ever beg again outside of the bedroom.โ
He knew that you had always been meant for more than a silly, fragile doll of earth. And maybe, your family provided acceptance to the same extent, but you wanted pomegranates and death, and you craved the cruel shadows of the night. He saw more in you than a corrupted child of light, he saw a queen worthy of reigning alongside him. And you would gladly let him believe so.
โYes,โ you whispered before you leaned into his lips. โI will.โ
The kiss was chaste and innocent, a stark contrast to the previous night, sealing a proposal you had never dreamed of receiving. To be loved and cherished until all eternityโฆ you thought, despite the equal darkness in your heart, you could give all of this to him too. And eternity by his side didnโt sound so excruciating anymore.
โWhat is it?โ Jaehyun halted in the middle of the kiss to look directly at you, his palms steadying either side of your face. โIs something wrong?โ
You shook your head, taken aback by a warm feeling that suddenly spread from your lower stomach to the very tips of every limp. โNothing.โ Your fingers massaged the back of his head, his soft hair slipping through the gaps between them. โWhen are we getting married?โ
โSo impatient already?โ He narrowed his eyes and tilted the corners of his lips up to an evil grin. โIf you want to repeat last night, all you have to do is ask, anytime you want, anywhere you want.โ
โAs promising as it soundsโฆ Iโm serious,โ you assured him. โWhen can we get married?โ
โI stand by my answer, anytime you want.โ
โThen tomorrow?โ
โAs you wish, my wife.โ
____
You married the god of the underworld on a day when the sky was exceptionally red. Or so it seemed to you as your lips had been painted in the same promising color that resembled the dangerous pomegranate seeds as well.
You stood in a tiny, open chapel forged of stone in the middle of the mountains you always watched from Jaehyunโs chamberโs window where you had resided the past nights. Donned in black garments of the finest fabrics instead of pastels, you were facing and holding each otherโs hands, the priestess in a white tunic and veil that barely revealed her face reading from a book to you that you had never seen in churches on earth.ย
You didnโt have witnesses, there were no family members or friends to celebrate this special day with you. Under these circumstances, it would have been the saddest day in a young womanโs life. But not for you. Of course you wished your mother and sister could have been here too to share these feelings with you, but they also wouldnโt have understood.
Why you did this. Why you needed to do this.
โI do,โ you heard Jaehyun say first.
This was where you belonged. At the end of the day, you had still found your way into the arms of the darkest god in the entire realms.
โI do,โ you repeated after the priestess, barely a whisper, but still strong enough to be carried by the breeze to everyoneโs ear.
You met Jaehyunโs confident smile, and you only now grasped the fact that you barely remembered the last time you had been happy to this extent back there on earth. It had been a long, long time.
When your lips closed around your husbandโs, marking his mouth with stains of the same redness as the sky and the pomegranates that bound you to this place, you claimed him as yours just like he claimed you as his.
Two equals from different breeds, but from now on of the same value under this red sky.
____
โCongratulations on your wedding. I was a bit sad that I wasn't invited.โ
โNobody was invited, Taeyong,โ Jaehyun sighed. โWhy did you come here anyway?โ
โI have a message for your wife.โ The sun god jumped down the stairs until he stood in front of you both, but only eyeing you. โTalk about timing, you have just gotten married and I will have to separate you again.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ You frowned, suddenly very wary.
โI have a message for you from the god of the sea. Since he was banned by your now husband from ever entering the underworld again and your husband was banned from entering the sea too, he sent me as a messenger.โ
That statement didnโt only cause you to freeze, but Jaehyun as well. โWhat does he want from her?โ
The few things you had heard about the sea god so far hadnโt been really pleasant. What could he possibly want from you?
โHe has been reached out to by someone who wants to get you back,โ Taeyong declared carefully.
You shook your head. โThatโs impossible. No one from my family can come and there is no other person who would care enough for me to do that.โ
โWhy would that be the case?โ Taeyong asked.
โHer mother is limping gravely and her sister is still a child. She doesnโt have other living relatives,โ Jaehyun reasoned for you.
You were grateful for his support as you were having struggles digesting Taeyongโs information, having the fact pass by you that you had never actually told Jaehyun anything about your family yourself by then.
โWell, someone is there who you matter very much to. And they want to take you back with them. A distant relative? A friend?โ
โIt must be my mother or sister. It must.โ You were petrified while two pairs of eyes laid on you, both gods lost for words too.
The tears that spilled from your eyes shortly later werenโt tears of happiness or relief. They were tears of guilt, because you felt neither. You couldnโt move but shook with your whole body against your will at the same time. What eventually settled in your stomach was the feeling of disappointment.
Disappointment, because whoever had come they had succeeded in that task - all to no avail.
Taeyong touched your back in a comforting gesture. โIโll accompany you.โ
โNo,โ Jaehyun cut in and took you into an embrace in which you couldnโt stop trembling too, even though you werenโt cold. โLet her digest that information first, and then weโll figure out what to do.โ
Despite the stream of tears that clouded your vision, you still brought yourself to shake your head. โN-no,โ you sobbed. โI-I will go now. I have to go n-now.โ
โThe horse is already saddled,โ Taeyong supported you. โDonโt worry, I will safely escort her and bring her back to you, Jaehyun, you have my word.โ
โYou want to do it now?โ your husband asked you carefully, eyes full of worry.
You nodded determinedly, voice steadier now. โYes. They came all the way here, I owe them. Whatever they risked, I owe them. I cannot let another minute go reactionless to waste.โ
โI understand.โ
Not much later, you had hurried to your own room, Ara helping you peel out of your wedding dress and changing into a comfortable, dark gown, more suited for riding and traveling. You didnโt want to lose much time as Taeyong was already waiting outside, so you hastened along with the servant until your husband stepped into the room right before you were about to leave again.
โYouโre dismissed, Ara,โ Jaehyun said and she nodded, quietly departing and shutting the door behind her.
โWhatโs he like?โ you asked dryly, tears now having entirely subsided, but fear only growing. โThe god of the sea, I mean.โ
Your husband turned mute for a bit too long before he replied discreetly, yet clearly enough with much pain in his voice, โI wish you wouldnโt have to go.โ
โI must.โ
โI know. Itโs just so unfortunate it happened on our wedding day.โ
You felt his breath hitting the parting of your hair when he stood close to you and eventually hugged again which you instinctively reciprocated. You didnโt want to leave him either - but, again, you must. If only he could come with you, you would feel safer and more protected. Even though Taeyong offered probably the same amount of comfort, it would have been something entirely else to have your own husband by your side.
โRemember, youโre the queen of the underworld now,โ Jaehyun whispered into your ear. โHe doesnโt stand a chance against you. By title alone, youโre mightier than him.โ
โIโm still a human and mortal after all,โ you expressed your worry and buried your face in his chest, fingers clutching hard into the fabric of his shirt. โHe could keep me captivated, blackmail you or just end me with one single grip of his hand. I donโt stand a chance against him.โ
โIf he dares to lay a finger on you,โ Jaehyun continued with an underlying groan that indicated he was suppressing long planted anger, โI will have the permission to end him. I promise to you, if youโre not back by the day after tomorrow, I will tear every single realm apart just to find you and take you back with me.โ
In the security of his embrace, you smiled, more at ease now. โIf he wonโt let me go, I will fight my way back to you. Through every single realm.โ
โThat is exactly what my queen and wife would say.โ
The proudness in his voice made you proud too, and suddenly you werenโt so scared anymore. The promises you had given to each other in the secrecy of your room was sealed with one last kiss that was dripping with longing over the lost wedding night before you got on Taeyongโs horse and rode off with him into the fallen darkness.
____
โSo, youโre the wife of the king of the underworld?โย
The man in front of you motioned his pupils up and down, inspecting you from head to toe. You couldnโt pinpoint the look in his eyes, but it was everything except kindness that got mirrored in them. It was mostly mockery that bordered disgust even.
โIโm not only his wife, Iโm his queen and the queen of the underworld, so you will address me as such.โ
He raised his dark brow that was of the same color as his hair - petrol blue. In comparison to your husband, the king, he was a bit shorter and of a more slender figure, his aura far more sinister, nothing that would draw you to him like what had drawn you to your husband at the very beginning.
โVery well, human queen.โ He grinned, his grin sharp and his smile crooked. โDoes your oblivious husband know you killed your own father and only accepted his marriage proposal to get spared from the torture fields?โ
Your blood froze.
โI see, thatโs enough of an answer. When I heard your father went away a decade ago, but I couldnโt track him down, I found it very suspicious, so I did a background check on you. What came to light truly fascinated me.โ He put his index finger on his chin. โYou and the god of the underworld are so similar. That you accepted his marriage proposal solely for that purpose, I only guessed. But I know you stupid, greedy humans. Youโre all the same. In comparison to you, your sister is very talkative though as she had come all the way down here by herself.โ
Your jaw dropped. โMyโฆ sister?โ You were conflicted about what to do first as you did everything at once, gasping, breathing and talking simultaneously. โMy sister is here? Alone? My sister can't be here, sheโs practically still a child!โ
โSheโs very mature for her age,โ the sea god explained, partially smugly, partially matter-of-factly. โShe reached out to me herself through a summoner that she had tracked down in a nearby village and even offered her life, wanted me to trade hers for yours. Unfortunately, that was when I found out you ate our food already. What a pity.โ He let out a long sigh and touched his forehead as though annoyed in a phony manner. โAnd now that youโre even queen of the underworld, Iโm not allowed to go through with my plans.โ When he fixed his gaze back on you, his expression had some kind of madness to it that caused goose bumps to appear all over your body, and not the pleasant ones. โBut that doesnโt mean that I cannot still have a bit of fun. Letโs see how much you both love each other.โ
The undersea palace was equally impressive as the dark palace, the entire building forged of corals of different colors, lightning coming from the sun that was still able to make its way through the entire oceanโs depth until the last rays reached down here. It seemed like a lively and vibrant place with the residents also breathing air as water was kept outside, many mortals roaming around in colorful attires that reminded you of another part of the earth. The palace was like an own world in the middle of the undersea, but it was exactly this colorful and lively world that you would make the worst memory with.
The sea god suddenly spread out his arms like wings. Behind him, where a mass of deep blue curtain had adorned the back wall of the throne hall until now, a glass window revealed itself when the thick fabric parted, presenting the foggish undersea through a hole as big as a humanโs house. The view was striking and intimidating at the same time, and you would have appreciated the sight for a bit longer if it werenโt for your sister who you found swimming like a fish in an aquarium behind the glass, a tiny dot on a huge painting.ย
Her long hair was floating around her head like a halo, her skirts spread like a summer breeze had lifted them up, and it would all have been a heavenly painting with the fishes swimming across the picture if it werenโt for the look of horror in her eyes that she directed at you from the moment the curtains parted.
โI heard,โ the sea god pulled you out of your petrifying realizations, โhumans can only live approximately three minutes without air. How long will your sister make it? I think sheโs already been in there for more than a minute.โ
You panicked, and for a few heartbeats, you had to deal with a blackout about how to proceed, how to save your sister. Luckily, rationality kicked back in and you acted on implementing your first idea. The sea god watched you running around while continuously wearing his mocking smirk, heading into different directions in search of something that could break the glass.
You heard him laugh, his petrol blue strands shaking in the same rhythm as his dancing shoulders when you took a chair into your hands and dragged it to the massive glass window behind the dais. You were of a natural build, but that didnโt mean you were weak for a woman. Years of working on the fields finally paid off when you heaved the chair up and slammed it against the glass, over and over again.
The more often the chair came in contact with the surface, the weaker your arms and the bigger your panic grew as time passed uncontrollably and you knew that soon, it would be too late.
โItโs not human glass. A chair cannot break it. It was amusing watching you though, but now it gets boring,โ the sea god snickered and yawned. โHumansโฆ such imbeciles.โ
You hadnโt noticed how tears started streaming down your face, hot and wet, until you desperately laid your palms against the glass, trying to make out your sisterโs body. But at this point, she had already floated so far away, you could barely spot her anymore, perhaps mainly also because of your tear-smeared vision.
You sank onto your knees, hands sliding down the glass as you felt hope shrinking the further you lowered your position, until you were a crying mess on the ground. Your sister would now die and it was entirely your fault - because you were so selfish and only thought about saving yourself. Just like back then with your father.
But suddenly, your hiccups stopped in unison with your tears when you felt something prick against your right thigh, and you gasped when a fact dawned on you: There was still hope. Before you had ridden off, Jaehyun had strapped an item around your leg that you had shortly forgotten about.
A knife.
โTake this with you,โ your husband had said. โItโs made from the strongest material to ever exist, in this and the human world. It cannot kill an immortal, but it can break through every surface imaginable.โ
Like he had seen coming, because he had been in a feud with the sea god for a long time already. Like he had wanted to prepare you for every possible situation that could occur.ย
The moment the glass broke with only a single strike of you and water mercilessly swamped into the hall, you just thought about how much you loved your husband and that it was only thanks to him that you were now able to hold your sister in your arms again - breathing and alive.
And that you hadnโt killed another family member and would never need to again.
____
Your little sister was shivering in your arms, but you tried your best to keep her warm with your coat while you were wearing Taeyongโs as you were equally cold after the throne hall in the undersea palace had been entirely swamped.
โIโm tired,โ your sister yawned.
It had been an almost impossible battle to get her out of there with the sea god going on a rampage after you broke the glass, and without Taeyongโs help, it wouldnโt have been successful at all, but here you were now, both exhausted and injured, but alive. That was all that mattered.
โNot long anymore,โ you assured her.
Not long anymore and you would be back at the dark palace. It had only been two days, but the further you approached the location, the more your anticipation grew to finally see your husband again. You hadnโt been aware of how much you actually missed and longed for him until the moment you felt him by your side when you saved your sister - with his help.
โWhere are we going, sis?โ
Taeyong was controlling the horse from the back while you and your sister were seated in front of him. You slung your arms tighter around her before you answered,
โMy home.โ
โBut your home is with me,โ she protested weakly before dozing off again, and you couldnโt bring yourself to tell her the truth just yet.
โShe can also live here, you know,โ Taeyong told you quietly from behind. โIf Jaehyun breaks the bargain she made with the sea god, she will be able to stay.โ
โHer heart is not as dark as mine, her past not as tarnished, her future not as corrupted. She doesnโt belong here,โ you defended her. โIโm darkness and sheโs light. She belongs to where flowers grow, where spring returns and where she can see the sun rise every day.โ
โYouโre also everything that she is, do you know that?โ
โYou heard the sea god talking about my background. I donโt have an excuse for the things that I did to our father. If I donโt belong to the torture fields, who does?โ
โYour father,โ was Taeyongโs matter-of-fact reply.ย
You added, โAnd I would have to follow him.โ
โThat is not true,โ he disagreed. โIโm not Jaehyun, but Iโm positive that this is not true. He wouldnโt have sent you to the torture fields if you had died one day on earth as a human. I know your entire story now, and he wouldnโt have done that.โ
โEven if that were possibleโฆโ you smiled sadly into the slowly falling night, โhow would my husband react if he knew that I had initially agreed to this marriage just to avert my possible destiny?โ
โYou only wanted to do what you had to do in order to survive. Thatโs normal. Thatโs not even human only, thatโs instinct we all carry within us.โ
โI donโt want him to send me away,โ you admitted, voice cracking and making way for tears that threatened to spill behind your eyes. โI donโt want to leave. I want to stay here and only because of him, not because of my position or my title.โ
With your front teeth sinking into your bottom lip and nearly making it bleed, you held yourself back from crying the nth time today.ย
โSounds like you married him for other reasons as well,โ Taeyong concluded with a lighter tone in his voice. โIn the end, isnโt that all that matters now?โ
โI donโt want him to regret choosing me,โ you added hesitantly, stroking your sisterโs damp hair as the fist spires of the dark palace came into sight, even in the settling darkness.
โJaehyun has been the god of the underworld for an eternity already. As I said, never has he ever made a wrong decision. He has risked everything to get you. All you have to be is as courageous and confident as him, and believe in your love.โ
Loveโฆ?ย
Was it even possible to love someone you didnโt entirely know?
The last part of the way was covered in silence, and you expected your husband to be already asleep by now as night had long fallen. But you were able to make out the shape of his body even from miles afar. He stood in front of the gate as though he had known exactly when you would return - or had been standing there the past two days and nights.
You didnโt even have to ride all the way to the gates. Jaehyun came running in your direction, his crown falling off his head while sprinting, but he didnโt seem to care about that.ย
โMy wife,โ he greeted you when you slid from the horse and into his arms, welcomed back into the darkness to where you belonged, but that suddenly didnโt feel so cold and threatening anymore. It felt warm. Just like home.ย
Not โlittle roseโ, not โmy queenโ.ย
But โmy wifeโ you were now.
You couldnโt lie to him any longer.
____
You gazed at your husband who was sleeping soundly next to you. Even though night had not given way to daytime yet, you couldnโt sleep anymore, too many thoughts keeping you restless and awake.ย
Upon your return, you and your sister had been examined by a physician, but to your both luck, you had escaped with only minor injuries such as scratches from the broken glass. Yet, you had demanded for her to be observed the entire night. Initially, you had wanted to stay by her side yourself, but the physician had required absolute quietness and bedrest for her as she would sleep for many more hours, so you had decided to stay by Jaehyunโs side in the meantime.
For what seemed like hours, you had talked. And reliving the entire story in your tellings had you crying in your husbandโs arms once again, partly because of the horror, partly because of the relief that you had been able to save your sister.
โShe cannot stay here for long,โ Jaehyun had made clear after comforting you until all your tears had subsided. โPart of her bargain was giving up one year of her life for every day she stays in the godly realms, so she has to recover fast and hurry home.โ
How were you supposed to tell him that this wasnโt the only thing you were worried about? Now that your sister was here to take you back, but with you having already eaten the pomegranate seeds, you didnโt have a choice anymore. Deep inside, you deemed yourself lucky that you didnโt even have to make one in the first place afterwards.
Because that would mean that you would have had to hurt someone consciously. And it wouldnโt have been your husband.
Which was why you had decided to come clean with him now.ย
You were sitting next to him, stretching out your hand and gently tracing the outline of his jaw. He was so ethereally beautiful, it nearly made your breath catch again. But that wasnโt the reason why you wanted to stay by his side forever.ย
It was because, after living a quarter of a human lifetime, you had finally found the place where you belonged. You had found your counterpart, your partner for eternity, your equal, your twin flame. The one who accepted every edge of your soul, no matter how frayed it was. At least, out of all mortals and immortals, he was willing to.
But would he still be if he had explored every last part of the darkness inside of you?
โWhy did you stop?โ
You hadnโt noticed how you had halted your motions, your fingers coming to a stop right under Jaehyunโs bottom lip.ย
โGood morning,โ you whispered with a smile, and he kissed the tip of your index finger.
โItโs long not morning yet.โ He looked at you, but he wasnโt mirroring your expression. โWhat are you so sad for?โ
So, he had seen right through you already. You gulped. โI had a bad dream,โ you said.ย
โTell me about it.โ
โI dreamed that you left me.โ
Jaehyun let out a light-hearted chuckle that was still hoarse from sleep. โWhy would I ever do that?โ
โBecause I might not be the person you think I am. The more you get to know meโฆโ
But he didnโt let you finish, which you gladly accepted, because you were unsure about how to end the sentence anyway. โIn my entire lifetime, I have never made one decision that I regretted, not even after an eternity. And youโre one of them.โ
โI wish I could believe you.โ
What your husband said next made you possibly love him even more. He didnโt tell you the usual phrases that any man would tell their wives in order to silence them for they got too annoyed. Instead, he said,ย
โYouโre the queen of the underworld now. You have to believe in yourself first.โ
You couldnโt bring yourself to tell him that in your own words how much you have come to love him though. Instead, you bent down to him and covered his mouth with yours in a passionate kiss.
โYou know, we were never able to celebrate our wedding night.โ
โYou mean what happened in the hallway earlier didnโt count?โ he wondered with feigned innocence as though he hadnโt been the one ripping your clothes apart the moment you were finally alone and hastily took you on the stairs right there and then.
You tugged on the hem of your nightgown, sliding the thin fabric over your head and simultaneously motioning towards Jaehyun until you were sitting naked on his lap. โThat was your present for me. Hereโs my present for you.โ
The way your husband moaned into your ear when you were hovering over him shortly later, your hips coming down on his in a steady rhythm and your nipples grazing over his muscular chest, made you wonder if this was the last time that you would be able to hear him utter sounds like this.ย
You were bouncing up and down the mattress, knees already strained as you leaned backwards and braced yourself against his shins with your hands, arching your spine in such a way to give him full access to your whole body.
And he did worship it, every single inch, every part you considered a human flaw. His hands trailed upwards, stopping by your breasts and kneading them gently as he met your hip motions with thrusts that hit all your sensitive spots inside through the curved angle.ย
Your face was turned against the ceiling as you decided to close your eyes, your hair cascading past your shoulder and winding with each rock of your groins. Only a little longer, you swore to yourself. For only a little longer, you wanted to stop time and lived in this moment as long as possible.
But your body was human even though you couldnโt age in the godly realms, it painfully reminded you of that when Jaehyun dropped his palm and his fingers landed on your clit. You didnโt have the same stamina, nor the same endurance to prolong and go on for hours, so when you came undone right above your husband with a scream, body and soul, you felt betrayed by your own remaining humanity.
You fully rode out your orgasm, but as Jaehyun made a move to take the lead now and flip you around, you pinned him in that position by locking his arms in place with your hands. Even though he was able to change positions easily, he didnโt, and having you dominating turned him on so much, it didnโt take you much more until he cum in long spurts all inside of you himself.
โI never believed you were a virgin in the first place,โ Jaehyun breathed under you. โBut that you were capable of doing these kinds of things, I didnโt believe either. Iโm impressed.โ
โThere is so much more to me you wonโt believe Iโm capable of,โ you said, gaze stoically directed at the wall behind him, not moving from his lap to cuddle with him like usual, and he noticed.
โDidnโt we talk about this?โ Jaehyun brushed it off, assuming this was what withheld you from coming closer to him. โPeccadillos.โ
You inhaled deeply, then lowered your gaze, hiding behind strands of your loose hair, because that was how cowardly you actually were. โTen years ago, I killed my father in a cold blooded murder,โ you finally confessed. โNow, do you still want me as your wife?โ
____
Jaehyun found you much later in one of the endless corridors as you had run away right after your confession. You had roamed through the palace in the meantime, at a loss about where to continue from here, and because you were afraid of his reaction. After all, you were always good at running away from things, no matter whether they were crimes or feelings.
As redness crested the horizon, you were leaning out of the window, guilty, but simultaneously full of relief to still see another dayrise.
โYou can think of a punishment fit for my crime,โ you offered to Jaehyun without turning around. โI wonโt mind.โย
Whatever it might be, it couldnโt be as horrific as suffering on the torture fields for eternity. At least, he couldnโt punish you with that. That was all you had wanted, wasnโt it?ย
โI cannot judge over my equal,โ your husband replied monotonously. โOnly the god who reigns over all godly realms can.โ
โOh, so itโs like this.โ You had thought you were oh so smart to trick yourself into staying in the underworld as a mortal only to find out that there was possibly a much more gruesome punishment than what Jaehyun would have had in store for you. โI was wrong in the end.โ
All this time, you had had this secret locked away in a chest that you had thrown into the deepest abyss of your heart, pretending it was whole when it was frayed on every edge. Once you unlocked the chest that you had sealed shut for nearly a decade, the darkness that was kept within would consume all of you. Perhaps, right now was the perfect time to face it.
โWhen I was much younger,โ you began deliberately, staring out of the window while sensing your husband approaching you with deliberate steps, โand my little sister barely a toddler, my father came home one night, totally drunk. At that point, he had been drinking almost every day for a few years already. What he earned from his cabinetwork and from what we sold in crops, vegetables and fruits, he spent it satisfying his addiction. My mother was always very careful to put us to sleep before he came home, but I was already old enough to witness with my own eyes and ears what was going on each night. Every morning, my mother came out of the bedroom with another bruise showing on her body when my father had long gone out again. That certain night though, he was thrashing around furniture, even waking my baby sister up who I then carried around. When I opened the door, he shoved the table against my mother, hitting her legs with full force and rendering her unconscious. Upon seeing us, he snatched my little sister out of my arms.โ
โPlease.โ Jaehyunโs attire made a rustling sound and then stilled, but he didnโt reach out to touch you. Outwardly, you reacted as though you didnโt care. You didnโt want to care. Inwardly, you longed for his fingers traveling over your thighs just one more time. But he was willing to give you the space you needed. โYou don-.โ
โThat night, I killed him,โ you cut him off, because you knew that if you didnโt do it now, you might never come so far again. โWhen he didnโt want to let go of my sister and give her back to me, preparing himself to do to her what he did to our mother, I took a knife and stabbed him many, many times. My sisterโs crying was ringing in my ears long after he was dead, but I was still stabbing. I managed to calm my baby sister down and put her back to sleep. I tended my motherโs wounds and also brought her to bed before I took my fatherโs corpse and buried it deep in the woods. I spent half of the night digging his grave, the other half cleaning the wood off his blood. The next day, I told everyone I chased him off and he would never come back to hurt them again. The relief in their eyes made up for everything. They were so happy they were finally able to live in peace. But me? I have never found peace. I sacrificed my own happiness for my family. And I donโt regret it. I was only a teenager when I made that decision.โ
With every syllable, you felt the darkness eating up a bigger part of your heart, and it wouldnโt be long until it had digested the entire organ. That was what you had always been afraid of, but it was also very relieving on the other hand. There was no pain anymore, just deep satisfaction, indicating a hint of regret for not having done it sooner.
Jaehyun didnโt say anything afterwards, but you were prepared for everything that would happen now. At least, you could move on, at peace with yourself after a decade.
โMy soul might be dark, but I was not suffering. I was only afraid of what the darkness would do to me if I didnโt keep it locked, under control. That I would hurt more people, especially my family. But I would do it over and over again if this is the only way to keep my family safe from monsters. Even if this monster is me. But you have to understandโฆโ You finally shifted around to your husband, revealing a face wet from tears. โWhen I ate the seeds, I had already decided to be your queen. But not for the same purpose for which I have decided to be your wife. When I decided to be your queen, it was because of the fear of ending on the torture fields myself if I ever got the chance to return to the mortal world. I thought I didnโt deserve to continue living on earth alongside pure people like my mother and sister, because Iโm so filthy and corrupted. It was for my own protection, I was so scared after visiting the fields, thatโs why I ate the seeds.โ
You fell down to your knees and the thin fabric of your nightgown couldnโt cushion the pain that you felt when you smashed against the marble. But you didnโt care. The only thing important to you now was to not lose your husband. You wanted to fight for him so that if he were to let you go, you could say you had been finally courageous and confident enough to have fought for your love.
Yes, love.
โBut when I decided to be your wife too, it was because I whole-heartedly wanted to stay by your side, because I-โ The following confession twisted your guts, because you had never believed you would be able to say this to someone or even feel a sliver of it one day. But it was true, every single syllable. โBecause I love you.โ
For a long moment, nothing happened, only your whimpers and sobs filling in the silence that stretched in the hallway, and the more you waited for a reaction, the more agonized you turned to the point of coming to accept the truth that you might have lost your husband forever. You cried even more.
โI finally understand.โ You then felt Jaehyunโs fingertips on your skin, wandering along your shoulder and eventually resting there. โAll those years, you dedicated yourself to a simple, peaceful lifestyle to conceal the bloody tumult that youโve been through. In contrast to your flowery, colorful appearance, your soul was dark and suffering.โ
The tip of his index finger then traveled to your chin and lifted it up, and the man whose eyes you locked with were neither your husband here in the palace nor the god of the underworld in the hall of judgment. Somehow they were both.ย
โIf possible, I might love you even more now,โ he said before he kissed your tear-stained lips.
____
You shouldnโt sit in the hall of judgment the same day when your sister still wasnโt awake, but there was something you had to be shown according to Jaehyun, which was why he had ridden with you all across the deadlands again.
Today, there was no soul awaiting their judgment, so you wondered why you had been brought here in the first place. Painfully, the truth dawned on you though as Jaehyun urged you to stand in front of the dais and he took his own seat on his throne, the one in which you were supposed to sit empty this time.
You were the one to be judged.
โThere was something I have only informed you shortly about the first time you were here,โ your husband then opened up as he settled in his throne. โThe fact that none of the souls entering the hall has to tell me their backstories. It would consume too much time and they would be able to conceal parts for they cannot straight up lie. I know their entire lives, histories and stories upon entering, they only tell me their point of view, their opinion. Andโฆโ He took a meaningful, long pause. โWith every soul, I mean every human, dead or alive.โ
You stared at him for a moment, your brain processing what then washed over you in shocking realization all at once. With your hand, you covered your mouth, swallowing a gasp. โYou always knew?!โ
Only then, you were able to relive the scene from three days ago when Taeyong broke down the news to you that someone from your family had come to get you. Jaehyun had known about the circumstances which made you believe that none of them were able to come down here despite you never having told him anything about your motherโs condition and your sisterโs age yourself. But back then, you had been so stressed, it had totally passed by you. He had indeed always known.
โItโs true, a decade ago on earth you made a drastic decision to self-judge and rob your father of his life, but you didnโt bring this fate over him. I did when I decided to throw him onto the torture fields. I did the exact same thing as you. So why would I punish you for something that hadnโt only protected you, but also the people you love the most?โ
For that, you didnโt have an answer. That your actions could be justifiable, you had always talked yourself into. But you had never been able to shake off the shadow that sometimes crossed your motherโs face when someone mentioned your father or your sister getting bullied for not having one. They believed he was still alive, but didnโt fear he would ever return. If they knew the entire truth, it wouldnโt change anything about their mindset other than seeing you as an entirely different person.
Yes, your lives had gotten considerably better without your father in regards to the living circumstances as he had barely financially and emotionally supported your family anyway. But by the looks of the village people, it had only brought you shame and misfortune to live like this as no one had wanted to marry your handicapped, single mother again - or even you. Subconsciously, you perpetually felt guilty for that you had to live the way you used to live. This all, you also told Jaehyun, and he only shook his head.
โYou cannot blame them for feeling this way like they cannot blame you for saving their lives. What if your father was still alive? This is a scenario nobody can answer to rightfully. You couldnโt have sat around, waiting until he would change. Perhaps, you would have lost more than one person. Even when the tiniest part inside of them blames you for not having him around anymore, even if they knew the entire truth, you donโt have to blame yourself too and make amends by playing the commendable child when there is so much more to you.โ
โMuchโฆ more?โ
โYou were leading the life of a good daughter, always obedient, always loving. You grew flowers in hope they could conceal the darkness in your heart. But the truth isโฆโ Jaehyun arose from his throne, carefully stepping down the stairs while keeping his hands hidden behind his back, โwith the darkness that had settled inside you that day, you would have never been able to live a fulfilling life on earth, that was why you had decided to stay with me in the first place, not because you were scared. You were never afraid of me or anything else down here. You always only wanted to believe that because your mortal side couldnโt justify your true feelings. The moment I saw the true you, I realized I couldnโt let you go. Everything I said, none of that has ever been a lie, I always knew who you were.โ
Was that true? Had he seen right through you from the very beginning? The day you had entered the hall from the very first time was the day he had proposed the throne to you without a second thought.
โYou fought hard against this, against us, because you thought you owed your life to your mother and sister as you might have ruined theirs to the point of nearly forgetting that you can bloom in your very own way when you donโt dedicate your life to someone else. Of course you love them, but be brave and start loving yourself equally as much. Just like I do.โ
For a split second, you were asking yourself whether you had made the wrong decision to eat the pomegranate seeds out of your own free will. But that was what it all boiled down to: Everything you had done happened out of your own free will that you had always been possessing as a human, even here, even now still.
โListen,โ Jaehyun spoke gently when he finally stood in front of you, on the same level, as equals again. โTo be my queen is not a duty just any human is capable of. Itโs difficult, straining for body and soul, and requires a lot of self-control to not lose your mind. I wouldnโt have proposed this position to you if I hadnโt been sure you harbored all that. Your story has only assured me of the fact that in you, I wouldnโt only find a wife, but someone who thinks and acts the same as me. So today, I pronounce your sentence.โ
Even though his words had been sweet and everything you had been longing to hear, the last statement made you shudder. Would he still send you away?
โMy sentence for you is to be my queen, to stay by my side and reign alongside me always. Will you accept it?โ
You felt something getting placed on the very top of your head. When you raised your arm and came in contact with the object, you touched something heavy and spiky - your very own crown, made of darkness and flowers that would never wither. You had exchanged flowers and pastels for flames and darkness.
โAs I said,โ your husband smiled proudly this time, โnever in my entire lifespan have I ever made a wrong decision. You chose me. You love me. This is real, not the seven silly seeds you ate sealed the deal, but your love for me.โ
The king of the underworld had accepted you. He was both the kindest and cruelest thing that had ever happened to you, even if others wouldnโt perceive your tale like this. He had seen the darkness that resided inside you demanded its own throne, and he had shown you how a love like yours could turn even the coldest realm into a warm home.
You had never been afraid. You had never been held captive. You had voluntarily stayed. Why would you have cared about being a human bride when you could have been an eternal queen all along?ย
Oh, how you wished for everyone to know that the god of darkness who you could also call your husband, had the silkiest hair that felt especially soft when he was on his knees, coaxing spring from inside of you with your thighs wrapped around his neck.ย
____
โBut I donโt want to leave without you,โ your sister sobbed and wrapped her arms around you just a bit tighter. โWhy canโt you come with me?โ
By now, you werenโt able to hold your tears back anymore either, and you just cried in each otherโs arms. The horse was already settled and stood by the main gate not far from you. Taeyong had volunteered to bring her back and was waiting there.ย
โAs I told you,โ you explained patiently for the nth time to your little sister, โI cannot leave.โ
โDid you truly eat the seeds of your own free will?โ she asked warily.ย
You nodded. โI did.โ
You werenโt able to bring yourself to tell her the entire truth. One day, if you would ever get the possibility, when she was only a bit older and your paths crossed again, you promised to yourself that you would.ย
โBut how could you! He took you from the earth to a world where not a single living thing can grow and live!โ
โSister, have you seen that every single flower on earth withers away?โ You pried her from you and flashed an encouraging smile, all through the veil of blurring goodbye tears. โWhere is the difference? Our garden might only be small, but whatever grows there blossoms to its full potential, just like I can.โ
โI donโt understand, sis.โ
โYou donโt have to understand. You only have to believe me.โ
โWhat will I tell mother?โ she wanted to know. โShe misses you.โ
โTell her I miss her too. And that sheโs going to be fine. Youโre both going to be fine, even without me.โ
โSis, when will I see you again?โ
Another wave of sadness rolled over you, but you swallowed it down this time and brushed over your sisterโs hair in a reassuring gesture. โI donโt know.โ
โHow will I live life without you?โ
โStay kind, confident and courageous, always believe in yourself. After all, you made it all the way down here by yourself only. I wouldnโt have been able to, but you did all that. Do you know how proud you can be of yourself, sis? Youโre going to grow up to be such a beautiful, smart and brave woman. Iโm certain about that, and Iโm already so proud of you, donโt you ever forget that.โ
โActually,โ a manly voice interrupted you, and you both simultaneously turned to the side to watch your husband speak, โyou donโt have to worry about that, dear. Your sister will come with you.โ
โWhat?โ you both called out, also simultaneously, but the fine difference lied in either of your tones.
While your sisterโs was full of joy, you barely brought out a syllable that wasnโt dripping with worry and fear. Why would Jaehyun suggest something like that? Had he already forgotten everything he had said to you since your wedding day?
But the smile that spread across your husbandโs lips was full of happiness like your sisterโs with no hint of grudge as he approached you and placed his palms on each side of your face, looking at you with much love as opposed to his statement. You didnโt understand.ย
โWhy are you sending me away?โ you wanted to scream, but only brought out a whisper, fingers clutching onto the hem of his shirt. โPlease donโt send me away!โ
โIโm not sending you away.โ His thumbs caressed your cheeks, and you only noticed then that something had changed in his eyes. It wasnโt a look or a feeling that had been there before, and not weighing on the negative side either. In fact, nothing had been replaced or exchanged, only something slightly different that you couldnโt pinpoint. Perhaps, it was all in your mind after all. โIโm sending you to live with your mother and sister each year for six months, spring throughout summer.โ
Your brain was still processing when your sister was already expressing her joy through little bumps and screams that gradually turned into a singsong about how you were returning home.
โDonโt worry,โ Jaehyun calmed you down. โYou are the bones of my spine, the ground beneath my feet, the air Iโm breathing in. How could I possibly ever live without you again?โ
โBut-!โ
He silenced you by putting his index finger on your lip. โEvery year, when the first flowers bloom, you will be able to return to earth to live with your family. When you see the first leaves falling, that is when I will take you back to the underworld. You will bring spring, bursting with light, and leave with winter, dreary and cold. Does this duality fascinate you too?โ
You had so many questions, first and foremost what he traded your freedom for, but you also didnโt have time to ask any of them anymore as every minute that you lingered in the underworld robbed a sliver of your sisterโs lifespan.ย
You expressed your gratitude through hasty kisses with his arms slung around your back regardless of the presence of the other two as these would need to get you through the next months.ย
โI donโt want you to feel lonely again when Iโm gone,โ you said to him.
โDonโt worry about that,โ he reassured you. โI was patiently waiting half an eternity for you. I can wait another few months every year as long as you always come back to me.โ
From now on, you could see yourself as a child of spring, wearing pastel colors and flowers in your hair on earth, and when returning home that was literally the underworld, donned all in black, you would pass sentence on lost souls in the hall of judgment as the queen of hell.
Yes, such duality fascinated you very much.
โWill you wait for me?โ you asked when you were seated on the horseโs back with your sister in front and Taeyong behind you.
โEven if it takes you an eternity to come back to me.โ
You leaned down, your husband embracing your cheeks on either side and giving you a long kiss that was supposed to last a few months in the moment a breeze came by and lifted the strands of your hair up in a swirl.
He trembled under the last gaze you threw at him before you rode off.
It wasnโt a punishment, it was a reward - for you to see your mother and sister again, and live where flowers grew and never see them wither again.
After all, youโd come back this time, every time.
Out of your own free will.
_____
Jaehyun had known he should have regretted that certain forenoon of hasty decisions on earth. He had sensed you before he even saw you, soft, warm, light - everything he needed his future queen to be, so he didnโt look further as he had gotten spared only one day.
There, in your motherโs garden, sun on your nose and wind in your hair, enveloped in the intense scent of yet to bloom flowers, it made even the hardest of hearts unharden, and suddenly the god of the underworld was only a man with an uncontrollable longing for your innocent sweetness.
โSheโs coming back today,โ Taeyong said, pulling Jaehyun out of his thoughts. โIโll pick her up from the river and bring her here.โ
โVery well,โ Jaehyun answered, trying to downplay his excitement to welcome back his wife after so many months.
But his friend wouldnโt stop budging. โSo, when are you going to tell her? What you traded her freedom for?โ
โPossibly never, this is not something she will easily find out anyway. Itโs not like I traded being a king, a god. Weโll be fine.โ
โAs long as no one wants to see you dead,โ Taeyong stated with rolling eyes.
โThen letโs hope weโll live alongside in peace,โ the king answered dryly and his friend only gave him a long, last sigh in response before riding off to his duty.
Jaehyun had searched for a fitting wife for so long, sick of isolation and darkness, but no one living in the godly realms matched with what he had been looking for. Every resident was involved in an endless game of rivalry, too cunning, too vile to make his already hard life easier. He needed someone simple, timid and narrow-minded who would gladly accept what a god could offer to them without a single complaint. A human.
But the person he had chosen wasnโt all that. In a garden full of colorful plants, he had plucked the most dangerous flower of all. She was as beautiful as a rose, lulling him with her pure appearance and sugary scent, but her thorns stung and could cause him great harm.ย
Even on that day, he hadnโt made a wrong decision, though it had looked like it in the very beginning as it all boiled down to either his instincts, luck or coincidence. But somehow, he had ended up combining all three and chose her.
His human guest only needed time, he had thought when she fought him like a panther in a cage upon their first meeting, so he had given her a few days to adjust and then intended to break down the advantages for her, hoping she would finally settle here in peace and then do for what he had brought her here: offering him company in all senses.
When she had walked into the dining room that one evening though, in a pastel silk dress he had chosen for his wife himself, looking and smelling like a freshly bloomed flower, but with eyes so fierce, Jaehyun swore he saw fire burning inside them, flames so intense like the ones on the torture fields.ย
Just like now.
She hadnโt changed one bit since the day they had said goodbye to each other. Dressed all in black now with fiery eyes, she had returned to him, her attire as splendid as the crown in her hair, fitting for the queen of the underworld who was about to start her duties.
They were grinning at each other from afar already, and she was coming to a halt right in front of the dais.ย
โYouโre back,โ Jaehyun stated stoically, but his voice shook with emotion when he arose. โI missed you.โ
โI am,โ you whispered. โAnd I missed you too.โ
When he had been an immortal god, he had felt invincible. But Jaehyun hadnโt felt like this in months, and for a long while, he had been worried about that, about never being able to feel so powerful again.
But as he was holding his wife and his queen in his arms again after such a long period of separation, inhaling her scent, feeling her soft skin, hearing her warm voice whispering his name, he suddenly regained all of what he had thought lost when he had traded his immortality for her freedom, for her true happiness.
He didnโt need his immortality to feel immortal.
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Okay so!!! I'll be doing a fic recommendation post for nct dream!!! Going to continue adding as time passes! For now, here are my favs! Ignore how all of this is Renjun, I swear I'll read for the others JAHJJS
โป - Mark (๋งํฌ) !
โป - Renjun (๋ฐ์ฅ) !
Rest by @sungbeam
Walls, Brawls, & Sudden Rainfalls by @jishyucks
Missed you by @i-luvsang
Youโre a Bad Idea (I Like Bad Ideas) by @chicksung
9:48pm by @rrxnjun
[ 7:12 pm ] by @dreamijournal
Lover by @tzuyusluv
Renjun bf texts by @phoxphenex
Tortured Artist by @junmymuse
โป - Jeno (์ ๋ ธ) !
โป - Haechan (ํด์ฐฌ) !
Take my breath by @hyuckwrlds
9:02pm by @isabelleonabicycle
10:45pm by @qianinterprises
Coming home by @daegall
The beginning of an end by @jaehunnyy
โป - Jaemin (์ฌ๋ฏผ) !
โป - Chenle (์ฒ๋ฌ) !
โป - Jisung (์ง์ฑ) !
In a world where thereโs no one but us by @navyhyuck
[9:24pm] by @alicanta77
โป - 7 DREAM (7๋๋ฆผ) !
Ofc we start with
Late-night headcanons by @armysantiny
Nct dream as boyfriends by @binniecorre
Nct dream as boyfriend moments by @woozten-x
Break up prank with nct dream (texts) by @hannie-dul-set
Nct dream reaction (Periods) by @chenle-dressed-in-black
Making out (ft. Haechan, Jaemin) by @7aechan
Each and every fic by @j0hnj4ej3n
P.s: The tag #one of my favs ๐ค and #127 / 10 on my blog are for my favorite fics!
summary:ย haechan rides the bus. you hop on the same ride. minutes later, you two were a couple. he never questioned why.
genre:ย fluff ! |ย word count:ย 1.1k
-
haechan loves old stories. hell, heโs the king of hearsay and gossip. but his favorite genre? love stories--nostalgic and the most unusual ones.
he loves how his grandmother met his grandfather at a local bakery shop almost every single day. the two would often bump with each other every seven in the morning, en route to their school in the late seventies, then the rest was history.
he loves how his mother missed the train and his dad suddenly gave him a handkerchief when she cried for missing a job interview. desperate times, they said. it was the nineties. things were escalating quickly, and they had to chase the developments, even if they had to sacrifice some bits of their dreams.
but out of all the stories he heard, his favorite story is when his friend mark recalls how the two of you met.
haechan was sitting on the bus, two more stations until his next stop. then you hopped on the ride, and swear to god, you were the most beautiful person his eyes ever laid onto. you sat near him, and if haechan could actually burn holes behind your head, he thinks it probably would have happened.
then you suddenly gasped.
haechan, all alarmed, was waiting for your next move. he saw a man walking forward, looking for an occupied seat. he can see you were slightly panicking. you looked at every possible vacant seats, most of them were occupied. until you saw haechanโs, the other one being available.
you got up from your sit, backward facing the man whom haechan is most curious about is still looking for a vacant. then haechan starts to realize that you are coming in his direction.
you hurriedly sat down next to him, and haechan swears his heartbeat doubled and his heartbeats were beating so loudly, a person could hear if the air conditioner was not turned on.
haechan saw you desperately keeping your head down. your eyes closed, almost so forcefully. you let your hair do all the hiding, too.
then all of the sudden, โare you okay?โ he said.
you jolted at the sound of his voice. haechan starts to panic as well.
โsorry, sorry!โ haechan shook both of his hands open. i didnโt mean toโโ
โcould you pretend weโre together for a bit?โ
haechan, who was confused, asked. โlike boyfriend?โ
โyes!โ you whispered loudly. haechan saw the man looking at where you are seated. he starts coming on both of your direction, your eyes were still closed and your head still facing down, haechan figured it was time to do it.
so haechan extended his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders. you leaned toward him. it felt warm, just right, haechan thought. but he could still feel you were tensed.
he asked, โis thisโฆ tell me if youโre uncomfortable, okay?โ
โokay.โ a faint voice he heard. haechan couldnโt help but to smile. on the other hand, the man is already set on his seat, a bit farther from where you are both.
haechan did not tell you that the man is not looking anymore, he does not know why, but he felt like you needed this the most right now. so he just let you be. hell, he did not even ask you why. he just straight-up trusted you. being such a simp gets him into deep shit sometimes, he realized.
haechan looked at the window and figured this was his stop. you, who is still bit shuddering, noticed he is reaching his bag while his arm is still wrapped around your frame. you looked at him and said, โcan iโฆ can i go with you?โ
he no longer asked why. fuck it, haechan thought.
he removed his arm around you and he let you stand up while the bus is still moving, almost near the next station. haechan put his backpack on his shoulder and followed your gestures. and when the bus stopped, you slowly headed toward the exit while your head is still facing down. when haechan noticed you were near where the man was seated, he hurriedly followed you and walked clumsily. he did it to get the manโs attention to focus only on him, and not yours.
once you exited the bus, the wind slightly danced and grazed its touch on your face. the sun hit your pretty features, and haechan was again, starstrucked.
โthank you, oh gosh.โ you said with a relief. โthank you, thank you!โ
โitโs okayโฆโ haechan chuckled. โcan i ask why, if itโsโฆ okay?โ
โheโs my ex-boyfriend.โ
โoh?โ
โoh.โ you copied him. he thought it was sillyโa cute silly.
โyeah, he cheated on me and i kind of slapped him in the face, soโฆโ
โoh.โ
โyeahโฆโ
you noticed his features. to you--this unnamed cute boy--had tanned skin. his body frame looks huggable, which was proven earlier, by the way. he is a bit taller than you but you would not mind looking up just to see him laughing while his head falls down because of embarrassment.
but shit. you have to go back to reality now.
โah, shit!โ you looked at your wristwatch. โi have to get to class. iโm sorry iโโ
โitโs good! itโs fine.โ haechan said. โhappy to help.โ
you moved a bit forward from the waiting bus shed and called for a cab. when the car stopped and your things were placed inside, you spared one last glance at haechan and said, โthanks, boyfriend. you lookโฆ good, by the way. hope you know that.โ
haechan blushed. he reached for the cabโs door and closed it. and when the cab started hitting the road, haechan was left on the sidewalk, muttering shit!
he forgot to ask your name.
โand thatโs why haechanโs the stupidest person to ever!โ mark raised his voice, almost singing it in a happy tune. โexist!โ
jaehyun and johnny laughed along. haechan looked defeated. even though he never got your name, it was still his favorite story in the world. it could have been his โand kids, thatโs how i met your mother!โ story, almost qualifying to how endearing his grandparents' and parentsโ love stories were like, a one-of-a-kindโbut the universe had other plans for the resident simp.
and so it did.
haechan, who came from the subway and headed toward the bus waiting shed, stood and listened to his morning playlist. he opened his can of orange juice to start his day. he did kind of struggle, though. the juice started flowing on the floor, making his black shirt a bit damp. he looked around to only see a garbage bin and an empty vending machine that could have had a pack of tissue.
then his eyes landed across the bus waiting shed.
there was you, eyebrows scrunched as if you were also trying to see who was on the other side.
and when you realized it was him, haechan started waving his free hand like a little kid. like, who the fuck cares if his clothes and other hand were now sticky, right?
you smiled, almost so beamingly, so lovingly.
and haechan never thought he would believe in fate until he finally and officially met you.
nct dream reaction :: sleeping on the couch after a fight
๐ฅ๐๐ค๐จ๐๐ฆ๐ง๐๐? ใ๐ฌ๐๐ฆโใ/ ใNOใ
โถ dream reaction to you sleeping on the couch after a fight
๐ ๐๐ฅ๐
Mark hides his frown in the crease of his arm as he watches you silently changing into your pyjamas, refusing to make eye contact with him as you sniffle to yourself quietly. You and Mark weren't prone to arguments, having small little disagreements here and there, but Mark is sure that this specific fight has been one of the worst and to see you pick up your pillow and a spare blanket has his heart twisting in his chest uncomfortably.
The silence is deafening and Mark's positive he's seconds away from shedding tears, chewing down on his bottom lip to try and not let his emotions come through, causing his throat to tighten
He wants to reach out to you, to pull you back into his embrace and tell you how sorry he is for fighting with you, fighting over something so silly and fixable yet was blown so much out a proportion that it leaves the both of angry, confused, upset.
"Don't" He finally finds his voice, wincing at the crack as he sits up in bed, staring sullenly at you as you stand in the doorway facing away from him, ready to leave and sleep in the living room. "I'm sorry, baby, but justโplease... please don't go"
๐ฅ๐๐ก๐๐จ๐ก
The air was cold, the think blanket hardly doing anything to warm up your freezing body, the pillow behind your head uncomfortable and at an awkward angle that causes discomfort in your few minutes of sleep. You scolded at yourself for being so silly and storming out into the living room to sleep on the sofa after the fight you had with Renjun.
Honestly, the argument wasn't as bad as you're making it out to be, and there was no need for you to show off and venture out of the bedroom to sleep alone. You were just stubborn, and Renjun knows that all to well, so you weren't surprised when you sat up and saw Renjun lingering near, one brow raise with his arms crossed.
"You win, okay?" You give in with a pout. "And I'm sorry"
"Nobody won anything" Renjun tells you as he walks around the sofa to stand in front of you. "And I'm sorry too. For shouting and making the situation worse"
"We're both pretty silly" You admit sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck as you raise to your feet. But your lips slowly curl into a teasing smirk, "Although... you did tโ"
"Nope" Renjun cuts you off, bending his knees to throw you over his shoulder with a huff, palm slapping your backside teasingly before he carries you back to the bedroom, smiling at your giggles.
๐๐๐ก๐ข
"I'm so fucking tired. I'm done with this" Jeno's words repeat in your head even after half an hour of the argument you just had, the image of him collecting his pillow and a spare blanket to go sleep in the living room instead of sleeping beside you scorches your mind. You and Jeno have been arguing on and off over the past few weeks, letting things set you both off. Tonight, it was about Jeno coming home later than planned when he had told you that he would spend the afternoon catching up with you and you questioned him the second he walked into the bedroom, causing another argument to build between you both until Jeno gave up and left to go sleep in the living room for the night.
You hated sleeping alone and even after your arguments, Jeno would always climb into bed with you and sleep, which is why you decided to venture out into the living room to find him. A pang hits your chest as you see Jeno sleeping on the sofa, one hand behind his head and other resting on his chest which raises and falls calmly. You feel terrible seeing him so uncomfortable and you softly call out his name, watching as his eyes slowly peel open and sit up when hearing your voice.
"Do you think we argue too much?" You ask the question that's resting on the tip of your tongue, heart pounding in your chest as you see Jeno's shoulders sag and head drop low, giving you a quick and simple nod. "Maybe... Maybe we shouldโ"
"I know" Jeno mumbles sadly, his hand reaching out to grasp your own as you near him, lacing your fingers together. "Just for tonight lets forget. Let's be together... one last time"
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ก
You're huffing as you plump the cushion behind you head, trying to your best to get comfy on the uncomfortable couch that you're deciding to spend the night on, not wanting to be anywhere near Haechan or his petty attitude.
Truthfully, you're no angel in this situation either. Both of you were petty and refuse to give each other the last word when you were fighting about something that you can't even remember, proving that it wasn't as serious as you both made it out to be. But with your petty nature, you decided to sleep out in the living room to avoid him at all costs, not wanting to be the one that caves in first.
"This is so stupid" You grumble to yourself, throwing your arm over your face as you sigh, trying to get some shut eye but your head perks up when you hear the floorboards creak, spotting Haechan padding over to you with a blanket in hand. You scoff, "How chivalrous of you"
"Be quiet" Haechan grumbles back at you and you expect him to throw the blanket at you before leaving back to the warmth of your shared bedroom, but your brows raise in shock as he crawls over your body, shoving himself between the little to almost no space beside you. His arms slip around your middle, nuzzling his face in the crevice of your neck and he exhales deeply, "Much better. Goodnight"
๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก
"Heyโwhaโwhere are you going?" Jaemin questions you as your hand curls around the bedroom door handle, ready to leave him in the bedroom alone, not wanting to spend another second in here if all you're going to do all night is have silly little arguments.
"I'm going to sleep in the living room" You say as you tug the door open, getting prepared to bolt until you hear the sheets shuffling behind you. You crane your neck over your shoulder, watching as Jaemin jumps out of bed and gathers all the pillows and blankets, cursing beneath his breath as a pillow drops to the floor. You frown, "What are you doing?"
"Going to the living room" He replies as its the most obvious thing, giving you a weird look as he picks up the pillow and throws it on top of the stack. "Let's goโ"
"Wait, Jaeโ"
"You think I'm going to let you sleep alone out there after our fight? I thought you'd know me well enough now, baby" Jaemin scoffs, slipping past you and planting a small peck to your nose before kissing your lips softly. "It's you and me always, yeah? Lets go. We can go push the couches together and build a fort or something"
๐๐๐๐ก๐๐
"You're joking about sleeping out there in the living room, right?" Chenle asks you, brows pulled together in annoyance as he leans against the bathroom doorway, arms tightly crossed over his chest as he watches you apply your nightly skincare, "Y/Nโ"
"No. I wasn't" You answer, tone sharp. "Go to bed, Chenle, we'll talk in the morning"
"No, we'll talk right now" He argues back and you sigh softly, not wanting another petty argument to rise. You're tired and in desperate need of some sleep, not to continue arguing with your boyfriend all night. "Shutting each other out isn't going to fix this. We're grown adults, we talk it out. So tell me... what's wrong? What's making you so frustrated today?"
"Work" You admit, feeling a weight being lifted off of your shoulders as you begin to open up, "Work is stressing me out and it's tiring, so I just want to come home and sleep, but you were being noisy and it just triggered me, I guess... I'm sorry"
"It's okay" Chenle hums, taking a step inside the bathroom to pull you into his embrace, stroking the back of your head as he gently kisses the top of your head. "I'm sorry works got you so frustrated, and I'm sorry about the loud noises... I'll keep it down. Just, come back to bed... okay?"
๐๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ก๐
"I don't like this" Jisung's voice interrupts your sleeping, causing you to groggily lift your head up from the arm of the sofa just in time to see him trudging into the living room with a pout, hands on his hips. You're confused for a split second until you realise what he's talking about: you sleeping alone on the sofa and him in the bedroom after your minor disagreement. You sigh as you sit up, arms crossing over your chest as you look up at him expectantly.
"Well?"
"I'm sorry for saying what I said. I regret it, I'm stupid, I'm so in love with you. Now come to bed" Jisung orders as he points to the hallway leading to the bedroom and you raise your brow, causing him to exhale deeply, "Please"
"Okay" You hum, pushing yourself up from the sofa to stand on your two feet, grabbing your pillow to take back into the bedroom. You begin to walk towards him, stopping just beside his figure to cup his cheek, "You're not stupid. Just be a little mindful of what you say... I know you didn't mean it but words can hurt. But I'm so in love with you too, by the way"
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Warnings: profanity, heavy ANGST, taeyong is a bit entitled at first, problematic paparazzi, kissing, food, alcohol consumption, drug use, a small mention of marijuana and use of it, smoking, lying, inaccurate depictions of the music and well as journalism industry, sexual innuendos, allusions to sex but nothing sexually explicit, suggestive
Word count: 51.4k
Summary:ย When youโre presented with the opportunity to accompany the worldโs hottest rock band, Cherry Bomb, on their latest tour for an article, you know it could be your chance at furthering your career and possibly acquiring a spot at the New York Times, every journalists dream. You strive to figure out the truth about all the rumours that seemed to hover around them, but you donโt anticipate are the extent of the lies involved, nor do you account for the charming front man.
Playlist: hereย
Notes from brooke: sheโs finally here! and yes, on seeing that word count you can best believe that i am not just touching grass, but rolling around in it. this was supposed to be 25k but i sort ofโฆ.gotโฆ..carried awayโฆ.yEP!! it took four, almost five long months to write but i firmly can that it is one of the best things i have written and am very proud of it!! i worked harder on this fic than i have for any of my fics, so feedback would be greatly appreciated!! <3
You knew you shouldnโt have been eavesdropping. It was, in no way, professional.
โWhat do you mean heโs dropping out?โ Johnnyโs voice was just loud enough to reach your ears from where you stood outside his office, saving you from the embarrassment of having to press your ear against the door. The editor had the habit of being pretty loud when he was distressed or pissed off, and that little fact was currently working to your advantage well. You stood there, holding your notes and listening carefully to the one side of the conversation you were unintentionally privy to.