The Kat's Dream

SAGAL: No. I mean, for example, your incredibly successful young adult novel “Coraline” is about a young girl in house in which there’s a hole in the wall that leads to a very mysterious and very evil world. So when you were a kid, is that what you imagined?

GAIMAN: When I was a kid, we actually lived in a house that had been divided in two at one point, which meant that one room in our house opened up onto a brick wall. And I was convinced all I had to do was just open it the right way and it wouldn’t be a brick wall. So I’d sidle over to the door and I’d pull it open.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: And it was always a brick wall.

SAGAL: Right.

GAIMAN: But it was one of those things that as I grew older, I carried it with me and I thought, I want to send somebody through that door. And when I came to write a story for my daughter Holly, at the time she was a 4 or 5-year-old girl. She’d come home from nursery. She’d seen me writing all day. So she’d come and climb on my lap and dictate stories to me. And it’d always be about small girls named Holly.

SAGAL: Right.

push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

I’m not complaining even though it might sound like I am. But I can’t go a day on tumblr without seeing at least 3-4 posts dedicated to aftercare represented solely with images and assumptions around submissives being the only ones needing aftercare. 

One of the biggest problems with domdrop is that many dominants themselves go through it without recognizing the signs let alone requiring the care afterwards. Most tops are so used to being strong and in control that a drop may be brushed off as manageable. Yes, it is manageable for some, but not all. 

Aftercare is a mutual act that needs to occur at the same time. Dominants need it as well as Submissives (regardless of gender). 

Some of the things that can be done to ease a top into both recognizing their need for aftercare, as well as provide it to them without them seemingly needed are:

1. Reassurance - Remind them that the scene was good (if it was) and that they made you feel happy, safe and cared for throughout the scene

2. Cuddling/Hugging/Being held - Tops need this as well and it becomes a part of providing the comfort. It’s ok if you remain still during, but I would recommend wrapping your bodies around each other (both of you). 

3. Gentle/Light communication - As tiring as the scene might be, it’s still a good idea to keep a very gentle conversation going. It doesn’t have to even be intelligent. But it should contain talking about feelings. While expressing how you’re feeling, ask the top how they’re feeling as well. Not just about the scene, but physically and emotionally generally.

4. Remember till the day after - In a lot of cases, I’ve noticed that tops tend to have belated responses to a scene. This is what happens to me personally where the adrenaline delays the drop by a few hours and then it hits me like running into a brick wall. The crash includes lithargy, low energy, fatigue, low/depressed mood. If you see any signs, they could be indicative of a domdrop. That’s when they need aftercare. A massage, backrub, showering together, or even space if they need it. But space doesn’t mean leaving them completely alone. Ask them regularly what they want, and keep doing the things that they like you to do for them normally. 

5. Assist with regaining proper mindset and energy - It uses a lot of power, energy (both physical and emotional). At times dominants enter what is known as “performance mode” where they’re becoming increasingly involved in their role to the point of a temporary loss of identity. That’s part of domspace and requires a lot of energy to maintain. Find out how deep into domspace they went and that could indicate if a domdrop is coming. 

6. Remember experiences and signs - This one goes without saying. If you’ve experienced a domdrop then you already know what needs to be done. If you’ve experienced one and didn’t recognize it, then honestly it’s time to really take a few steps towards learning more about it. 

All the best. And be safe. All of you.  

Here are some resources I collected from the internet on this subject:

http://brairthornblog.wordpress.com/2009/12/05/dominant-aftercare-taken-from-a-different-blog/

Today, July 14th, is International Nonbinary Day, running annually since 2012!

Date nights continue even after the big move!

“They think deaf people aren’t supposed dance or hear the music.”

Non-Binaries In Knots Zine

All $3+ Patreon pledges now have the complete Non-Binaries In Knots book as a PDF download! ✨ https://www.patreon.com/posts/17628791

You can also pre-order the printed version on my [ Etsy ]

This project is a celebration of gender expression and body positivity.

With special thanks to my wonderful models Kay, Fawn, Leaf, Demitri, Phoebe, Lana, Laura-Frank, Oliver, kitty, Madison, Haplo and Toby.

I decided to compile some tips that I found helpful when recovering from chest surgery. I tried to think of things that aren’t are the average lists. 

1. Laxatives: Start taking laxatives 2 days before surgery and continue when you get home from surgery for about a week post op. 

2. Arnica: Start taking arnica tablets about a week before surgery and continue when you get home from surgery. Arnica helps reduce swelling and bruising. 

3. Pillows: If you have a recliner that is ideal but if you don’t then using a bunch of pillows to keep yourself propped up in bed is necessary. Also keep ones under your butt to help with back pain and under your elbows. 

4. Gravol: If you’re driving more than just a couple minutes you will probably feel really sick on your way back. Gravol helps keep the nausea down. Just double check with the nurse that it won’t interfere with any of your medication. 

5. Pill chart and alarms: It can be hard to remember when and what you took. My partner was great at having an alarm set on her phone and writing down what I took and when. 

6. Protein: Protein helps the body heal and helps keep you full which is really important especially if you can’t eat a lot after. Try making smoothies with protein powder and protein bars.

7. Deodorant Wipes: I found a pack of these in the travel section of the drug store and they were good because for over a week I wasn’t allowed to shower and it was horrible but this made it slightly less horrible.

8. Melatonin: For the first while the T3s helped me sleep but after I was off then I had a hard time getting comfortable since I don’t normally sleep on my back. Melatonin helped a lot with that. 

9. Avoid alcohol: Obviously, when you’re on pain meds you really can’t drink but I’ve seen a lot of people ask how long you should wait. Its recommended that after plastic surgery, especially something with grafts, you should avoid drinking for at least 4 weeks. This doens’t seem to be common knowledge among the community. 

woke: wearing a chastity cage for the armor bonus

Ariel.... the little mermaid

Rapunzel(sp?).... Tangled(?)

....

Hera(?).... Hercules

Aurora.... Sleeping beauty

Nala.... The lion king

Tinker bell.... Peter pan

Mulan.... Mulan

Kira.... The lost city of Atlantis

Mary Beth Ella Gertrude....Cinderella

Esmarelda(sp?).... The hunchback of Norte Dom

Elsa.... Frozen

Alice Liddell.... Alice in wonderland

.... Brave

Pocahontas.... Pocahontas

Belle.... Beauty and the beast

Moana.... Moana

Jasmine.... Aladdin