Kiss the lit end of my cigarette, freak

No longer here, leave me alone

So, no one will actually read this but just in case anyone gets nosey.

No I'm not really writing anymore or even interacting with the fandom; why's that? Well next to my reasonings being mentioned down below someone is obsessed. Or some people.

I made sure contacting me was tight, I only chose a select amount of people to talk with and I blocked so many accounts.

Today, in March, year twenty-three, I got notified of comments on AO3. I set my comments to be verified by me on a few fics and I got three comments from a guest account.

They said I may have left the server but I'm still in their heart.

I didnt bother reading the other two and I just made them fuck off.

It just confirms my suspicions that the anons and dud accounts from last year were from someone I know and someone I was interacting with.

If you, the harasser, are still looking at my account Whatever you wanted to happen has happened. I can't look at Stranger Things anymore, if I didn't trust men before I really don't trust them now, even behind a screen your sexual assault and rape threats terrified me and have made me back away for good. You win. Please, please, no more. You win.

Please leave me alone, they already put me on strong meds and everyone is on eggshells around me.

I really wanted to believe everything the doctors told me. I indulged in my hobbies like they said to. I interacted with a community to find friends with mutual interests. I really wanted this to work out well. I'll never forget the good times I had, the support that I received.

For now this account isn't gonna be updated, messages remain open to mutuals only. I'm sure I'll find something to do with it in the future. For now, she's dormant.

—

Why is contacting me now tight?

This has been asked a few times lately in my DMs and someone told me to put it here which I honestly think is a terrible idea, fuck you, Grogu, no one reads this shit unless I tell them to.

Anonymous was turned off first due to disrespectful anons; you guys are disrespectful to your writers, why? We're the ones making you content and we can easily stop.

Anons were not following the rules, ignored them and were repeatedly requesting NSFW when my rules at the time mentioned I had to know your age in order to write NSFW requests.

Someone I know through the ST fandom decided to abuse the use of the anon button by sexualising me and sending me creepy messages. My only regret is that I didn't screenshot these. I should've.

Even after it stated in both my introduction post and my bio I wasn't taking requests I still had people sending me direct messages with requests when I had turned off my asks. One person straight up typed it out as if I was fucking Google and then didn't even have the balls to apologise.

I was receiving messages similar to the the sexualising anon from dud accounts and the messages were getting increasingly worse to the point of threats of sexual assault. Whoever was sending these was clearly into the idea of triggering me apparently.

If the person behind the dud accounts and creepy anonymous messages is still here: You're a sexual predator and I hope one day you get too comfortable and do it to the wrong motherfucker.

And suddenly I begin to wonder if the person they accused was a scapegoat when they realised they took it too far...

I'm very tired

What now? Damn, what now? I'm gonna be a freak because before this mess of "recovery" I was great at upsetting people by breathing so I'm doing it again

Did they now? Should've asked me instead of questioned it

Do you want the whole story or just a smidge, my love?

I'm pissed off that I've come pretty far and I miss a few idiots

One was a big fucking liar but like

As mates things were pretty fun or even funny and I miss that part a lot

See Ya Later - Eddie Munson x GNS!Reader

"I don't feel like I'm doing the right thing"

There it was. Those words. "What do you mean?" You asked. The gentle breeze seemed to put you at ease. "Leaving Hawkins?"

Eddie fiddled with his hair, tugging some of it over his lips. He leaned his back against the windshield of your car. "Yeah" he let out a heavy sigh and folded his arms, letting his hair fall back to the side. "I'm sad, I'm happy... I feel like I'm gonna make so many mistakes"

You looked at the thrash metal head then to the long and endless road. "Maybe you are, maybe you aren't" you sat up and lifted a hand, resting it on Eddie's head. "In my opinion, you're gonna regret not taking this chance because you might not get another one"

Eddie's Bambi eyes stared into yours. Big, lively. It was a little detail you loved. "What if I regret leaving?" He asked, a tremble in his voice.

"I don't think you will, Eddie" you shook your head and smiled softly. You turned, looking back at the road. There was a billboard, blank and waiting for its next advertisement. "See that board?" You lifted a hand pointing.

Eddie blinked then followed your direct order. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Any doubts are going to slip away the moment your face is plastered everywhere, advertising your music, your hard work, you" you cupped his cheeks in your hands. Those gaunt cheeks felt small against your palms. "After everything you've been through, Eddie, you deserve this"

Eddie's face was blank for a moment. His heart skipped a beat. This is going to make it harder... Eddie thought. He closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh through his nose. "Ok" he whispered, swallowing. "But if I'm doing this then you can't wait either"

You raised a brow. You didn't expect that response. "I can't wait either?" You questioned.

"No, you can't wait either" Eddie shook his head. "When an opportunity like this comes for you, chase it" he lifted his hands, moving them over yours. "Don't deny something will come along because you know something will"

For a moment you were shocked. You hadn't expected that he would drag you into this encouraging talk. No words were coming to you as you two stared in silence. His hands over yours, his cheeks in your palms. The breeze blowing his frizz over his shoulder. "The clock is ticking" you whispered. You leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his forehead.

Eddie closed his eyes. "I'll... I'll go if you promise me one thing" he opened them again when you pulled away.

Your hands slipped away from each other.

"What is it?" You asked.

Eddie smiled. That smile melted away worries, lit up rooms. Soon it would be lighting up stadiums. "You promise me you'll chase the opportunity when it comes for you too"

You began to run through the same thoughts Eddie had. Could you leave Hawkins behind? Could you leave some people who shaped you into who you are today behind? Would you?

"Please"

You focused back on Eddie.

"Please, promise me" Eddie sat up, turning his body to the side. He lifted up on of your hands and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles.

Your heart melted. "Ok" you nodded, smiling at the rising star. "For you, Eddie Munson, I promise to snatch up that big opportunity" you leaned in, letting your foreheads touch. "Now this isn't goodbye" you whispered. "This is simply..." you pulled your head back. "A see you later"

There were tears in Eddie's eyes. He moved your knuckles from his lips. He nodded. "I have to go" he looked at his van, filled with his things, his memories that he could carry. "Running out of time" he let go.

There were things inside of you screaming at you to stop him. To take his hand in yours and pull him back. As you watched him walk across the road your heart hurt. It burned. "I..." you whispered. The words were stuck in your throat.

Eddie was a beautiful human being. He stood at the open door of his van and let out a heavy sigh. He turned his head, looking over his shoulder at you. "I'll be thinking of you, of everyone in this shitty town while I'm up there"

You snorted. "Heart-felt dork" you let your legs hang over the hood of your car. "Get moving, Munson, I'll be looking forward to your tapes!"

Eddie smiled and climbed into the car. The car door was pulled to a close once he settled himself down.

It hurt. It hurt to hear that engine start one last time. It hurt to think that you might never get the chance to ruffle that messy hair again. Or hear that mischievous cackle. Or watch a grouchy Eddie stand with a cigarette and his Garfield mug outside his trailer, daring for someone to breathe wrong. But this was the right thing. Everyone deserved that opportunity to move on to a happier life.

"Clear skies" Eddie pushed his black ray ban's up on to his face. "Perfect day for a drive" he leaned back in his seat. He looked out the window.

No words were said. Maybe some had to be. Maybe some didn't. You two nodded at each other. Soft smiles on your lips.

Then Eddie began to drive.

Trigger Warning: suicide, self harm, overall mega fucking depressing

Pain. It has many uses. A reminder we are alive, a reminder something is wrong, for pleasure, for relief and that the ending is near.

Eddie stared down at his hands. Red. The brunette lifted his head up, looking at the dead eyes in the mirror. Blood shot, wet yet somehow dry. His tears had long since stopped and left a dull ache in his head behind. He could hear the drops of blood against the sink causing his eyes to flicker back down to his hands. A shiver ran down his spine and he leaned back looking at his legs; blood trickled down them dampening the hairs till they reached his feet.

The once lively metal head stepped back. He couldn't shake anymore. The trembling had left his body and now he just felt numb. He turned, walking towards the door. His feet peeled from the blooded floor. "Disgusting" he mumbled. "All of it" he walked out into the kitchen.

A park of half empty Malboro lay on the counter next to a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels. His mouth felt dry. He reached forward, callous fingers picking up a faded silver flip lighter. He brushed his thumb over it as his free hand picked up a cigarette. Blood dripped on to the counter. How did his body feel so damp yet so dry at the same time? "One for the road" he announced to the empty trailer.

The cigarette quickly stuck his chapped lips as he wrapped his lips around it. Eddie flipped open the lighter and leaned his lower back against the counter. A spark. A tiny flame that barely began to burn the end of a cancerous stick. He flipped the lighter to a closer, body swaying as he swung his arm to throw the lighter across the room. "I was never getting out of here" he spoke to whatever creeping soul was still trapped and cursed to wander the Earth. Perhaps he would be one of them; would he continue to feel lonely? Maybe. He would find out soon. "Since when has anyone as small as me left a shit hole like this? Who even believed we could? Not me, not fuckin' me"

Bony fingers gripped the neck of the bottle. It was still warm from the last time he had gripped it. He tilted his head back, toxic smoke escaping his nose as he breathed out. He pinched the cigarette between his lips and pulled it away from his colourless lips. It was quickly replaced by the bottle.

The bitter taste was welcoming. It wet his mouth just enough but he knew he wouldn't need to worry soon. He chugged it, living for a brief moment for the burn in his nose. He swallowed it, choking a little as he dropped the bottle. It didn't break. Remaining in one piece. Eddie couldn't help but chuckle. "At least one of stuck... shit... stuck together" he felt his stomach drop as his head fell forward. "Jesus Christ..." he blinked, eyes beginning to blur as a tiredness fell over his eyes like a heavy blanket. "I..."

Because it's only Wednesday and three bots I've gotten have said they're underaged

It was a teenage girl fetishising gay men, I feel incredibly gross because they ignored my Minor DNI boundary when this account was still in use and also posed as an adult