all i do is try, try, try

CHARACTER BACKGROUND

Remember Me As A Time of Day

It’s always love, isn’t it? Neela's (now ex) girlfriend, Isabel, grew up in Jasper. Her work was mobile, and Izzy’s mom got sick, so what else were they supposed to do? So they moved from their tiny shoebox apartment in Brooklyn and found an equally small, yet slightly more rundown place Downtown in Jasper, California. As long as Neela had enough space to work on her art, she was happy. “Happy”.

The relationship wasn’t the best, even before the move across state lines. Like Neela’s father, Izzy liked to drink. And she liked to drink to excess, and never thought anything of it. It was problematic, of course, but even without alcohol Izzy could be described as emotionally abusive. The same dismissiveness and invalidation that Neela got from her father, and from every healthcare professional she met - she also got it from Izzy.

They’d been friends for a few years before the relationship turned romantic. The friendship was a lot of give (Neela) and take (Izzy), and when they officially became girlfriends that surprisingly/unsurprisingly didn’t change. There was a lot of gaslighting on Izzy’s part. Around alcohol, around Neela’s health issues, around work. She’d hit her with the silent treatment frequently, playing on Neela’s abandonment issues. It’d be like walking on eggshells; not wanting to upset Izzy, not wanting to say the wrong thing to set her off. And there was a lot of lying and negativity, a lot of putting Neela down. It was toxic. It wasn't fair or okay.

Neela was part-time carer for Izzy’s mom for the 2 months they were together in Jasper. Early dementia. Even that wasn’t good enough for Izzy, apparently. And even though Neela loved her mom, and it was hardest of all to have to say goodbye to her, ultimately Neela chose herself and worked up the courage to break off the relationship.

Neela’s name was the one on the lease, so Izzy (unemployed) was the one to move out. She’s not sure where she went - back with her mom, maybe? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Neela was free of her.

It was a hard break-up. The time she’d spent in Jasper was isolating – the first 2 months with Izzy, she didn’t go many places besides Izzy’s mom’s, the store and their house. And it took a month of recharging, isolating in bed and caring for herself and her health before she felt like she could leave the house and try to start anew.

The thought of moving back to New York did occur to her. But Brooklyn was expensive nowadays. More expensive than Jasper was, at least. And she couldn’t bear the thought of moving back in with her dad and bouncing from one alcoholic to another. She didn’t want to interrupt her sister’s life, either (even though her sister was “thrilled” and “relieved” when she heard the news of the break-up). Moving, in general, cost so much money! Energy she didn't have, given her health. Neela had found a good pain specialist in town – for right now, that professional relationship and the relationship she had with herself in the aftermath of this awful break-up was the most important thing for her, moving forward.

What Do You Go Home to?

Neela feels most at home at a gallery or a workshop. It doesn’t even have to be one of her own spaces! It could be a complete stranger at work. Because seeing someone’s process, or works in progress, or a finished product? That’s her happy place. That’s where she feels understood. Comfortable. Seen. The art speaks for itself. It becomes easier to understand people through the art they create. It becomes easier to understand herself that way - introspection and emotional connection come easy for Neela when it comes to art and design and creation. All the clichés about art and artists are true, especially where it concerns her. It’s a great way for her to connect to people, to her own humanity, to life at large.

Long Island doesn’t feel like home anymore, and Jasper doesn’t feel like home at all (at least, not yet) – so Neela finds home in art. Not in people, but art. In artists (there’s a clear distinction for her, okay?). And hopefully these things can bridge the gap to finding a physical ‘home’, or finding ‘home’ in a person again. Hopefully the right person this time.

Catastrophe and the Cure

Her family life felt... ruptured. Her mom died from an aneurysm a month before her 5th birthday. The week before Christmas, too – if you need some extra context as to why Neela is a complete and total Grinch during the holidays. And that’s the only thing she really remembers about her mom. That Christmas, and how hard her dad tried to keep it light and festive despite nursing a beer bottle at 7 o’clock in the morning. The presents were poorly wrapped – multiple layers of ripped wrapping paper, ribbons stuck off-center on the top. Her dad didn’t know which presents were for her, or for her little sister, Ananya, so there were no cards or name labels attached. It must’ve been one of the last things her mom did before she died. The Christmas shopping. Her dad didn’t know the difference.

The alcoholism had been there with her dad before her mom had passed, and only increased once she was gone. Whatever abandonment issues she gained from her mom dying too early, it doubled with her dad: still around but completely emotionally absent. He fed them, he bathed them, he made sure they got to school. For the first few years, anyway. Adolescence didn’t just mean puberty for Neela, but newfound household responsibilities. She learned how to cook the basics, learned how to do the washing, learned how to bleach the toilets after a hard night of drinking for her father. She took on a maternal role for Ananya, 2 years younger and with no memories of their mom at all. At least Neela had Christmas.

(Fun fact: River by Joni Mitchell is her favorite Christmas song).

She stayed at home in Deer Park, NY with her father and her sister for as long as possible. She went to college at the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn and never looked back. Long Island wasn’t very far away to visit, but when her body pain turned into something chronic, and then Fibromyalgia when she could finally get a doctor to diagnose her, it gave her a reason (an excuse?) not to make the trip back home as much. If at all.

They talk over Messenger. FaceTime sometimes. Her dad being a “functional” alcoholic makes it easier just to text. He can hide it over text. And it’s a trigger for her now. Alcoholism. She refuses to be around it if she can help it.

At the very least, though, Neela talks to Ananya online multiple times a week. They’re close as can be with the physical distance between them.

With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept

Her health has been a major challenge, especially throughout her 20s. Neela was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in her sophomore year of high school. It wasn’t exactly something her father would understand – he was an alcoholic in denial, with no self-awareness whatsoever. So, she paid for her own medication, she worked part-time at the local cinema to pay to see a psychologist every couple of weeks, she tried hard to keep herself together. And she had physical pain her entire life. Her back feeling like it was going to snap in two like a twig, her hips always swollen and aching, her feet constantly feeling like they were going to give out on her. It would hurt to even brush her teeth, most days, let alone do the work and art that she loved. Everything hurt, and everything hurt all the time. She told her dad that it wasn’t normal to feel like this, and he’d brush her off every time. It’s just growing pains. But even those - that unbearable stretching feeling behind her knees - were not normal.

Being a woman is difficult enough as it is to be heard, especially in medical spaces. But being a dark-skinned Indian woman? It was impossible to get anybody to take her or her pain seriously. She was dismissed, invalidated, ridiculed. Made to feel like she was crazy and making it up, or a drug addict who was seeking. It was humiliating. Dehumanizing. Her interactions with the healthcare system have been traumatizing. It’s hard enough to be in daily, debilitating pain, but to receive no sort of support? No help?

One doctor, a Rheumatologist, finally took her seriously, and she finally got a Fibromyalgia diagnosis in 2022. That doesn’t mean it still hasn’t been hard, because it has been. Fibromyalgia comes with its own hardships in the healthcare system, unfortunately! It’s all in your head. It’s not a real diagnosis. You’re just drug seeking. The shaming and dismissiveness never end! Even with a diagnosis given by a specialist! The medical misogyny and colorism are evident in almost every healthcare interaction she has.

It’s been hard to drown out all the negative noise, and even harder for her to trust doctors or healthcare professionals now. It’s just given her more things to work on in therapy! Telemedicine has made it easy to keep online appointments with her Rheumatologist in New York, and she’s found an amazing local pain specialist in Jasper that’s kept her in town past her break-up with her ex. Wintertime in California should be easier on her joints, at least. And Christmas away from New York should be better, too.

CHARACTER TRAITS

+ Self-aware, Intelligent, Caring, Dedicated, Honorable

- Clumsy, Needy, Emotional, Judgmental, Overly apologetic (trauma response!)

ADDITIONAL CHARACTER INFORMATION

Her handle is @neelamakesminis on Etsy, Instagram and TikTok. (This is fake, but let’s just pretend!) She makes some good side money posting her miniature art content on these platforms.

Anxiety, Depression, Complex Trauma and Fibromyalgia are her official medical diagnoses. She sees a Rheumatologist (in NY via Telemedicine), a Psychologist (same as previous) and a Pain Specialist (in-person at Jasper General Hospital).

Before Thanksgiving 2025, Neela had never owned a pet in her life! She adopted a blue French Bulldog puppy named Greg from a local shelter.

Neela refuses to drink alcohol for 3 reasons. 1) Her dad, 2) her ex, 3) her pain medication and antidepressants. She will drink maybe once a year. Usually around Christmas time (for obvious reasons).

Neela does, however, smoke weed sometimes for pain relief.

She takes a dose of slow-release morphine every day to treat her Fibromyalgia. When she is having a flare up, she has access to immediate-release morphine to take in addition to her daily dose.

Neela identifies as bisexual or queer. In the past, she has only dated or been in relationships with women or non-binary people. She likes men in theory… But fictional men just seem so much better than the real thing! As of right now, she has never been with a man romantically or sexually.

There’s a lot of internalized (and externalized, let’s be real) biphobia that Neela experiences. Hence why sometimes she will answer or identify as ‘queer’ if someone asks.

Neela has a Bachelor of Fine Arts (Emphasis in Sculpture & Integrated Practices) from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY. It was a four-year degree. You can read more about the degree here.

Neela’s favorite movie growing up was 13 Going on 30, and it has informed a lot of her life choices. She loved fashion because of it, and originally wanted to be a magazine writer growing up like Jenna was in the movie. As a pre-teen, she tried over and over to make a replica of the dollhouse from the movie, and because of it, she got into miniature art and sculpting!  

Now making miniature art pieces and sculptures is her full-time job. She makes anything from dollhouses to mock film set designs and building exteriors. You can view some of her work here.

Neela has a black outline of a sunflower tattooed on her left forearm, and a black outline of the dollhouse from 13 Going on 30 tattooed on her right forearm.

Sunflowers are the symbol for hidden disabilities. When Neela is out and about, sometimes she will wear a Sunflower lanyard to alert people to be extra patient with her.

Neela always carries a pouch in her bag that has extra medications (both slow and immediate release), some Tylenol, chapstick, a phone charger, hand sanitizer and a bottle of Deep Heat.

As mentioned, Neela loves fashion. She loves doing her make-up, dressing up nice and taking photos, and curling over her already-messy curls with any sort of styling tool. She also loves buying and using different purses and bags. View her growing collection here.

She grew up obsessively reading all the trashy teen girl magazines, doing all the quizzes, reading through the sealed sections over and over. Without having a mom around, it definitely helped her through her teenage years.

Neela danced throughout childhood and her teenage years (jazz, hip-hop, contemporary and tap) and only stopped when the pain from her (then undiagnosed) Fibromyalgia made it hard to continue. Her sister, Ananya, still dances to this day.

Neela owns and drives a second-hand, lime green-colored 2018 Kia Soul.

If you would like to view the full HQ version of Neela’s Instagram grid, click here.

MEETING / STARTER IDEAS

Your muse asking Neela what her Sunflower lanyard means - at any location.

Your muse buying one of Neela's miniature art pieces online and Neela delivering it to them in person - at any location.

Running into each other at Luxe Art or The Workshop. Neela would be there to display and/or check in on some of her miniature art!

Your muse seeing Neela's ice cream experience live up to the name at Brain Freeze.

Our muses going bowling together at Lucky Strike. Other ideas involve one of our muses accidentally throwing their bowling ball into the other’s lane, breaking a bumper, slipping over once they put their regular shoes back on, or anything else you have in mind.

Our muses helping an NPC who almost drowned at Gigi's Gazebo and striking up a conversation afterward.

One of our muses dropping a drink and being super embarrassed about it at The Bean Scene.

Your muse seeing Neela struggling with her pain levels after a dance class at Jasper Rec.

Our muses breaking something on accident at Kiln & Clay or Window Box.

Our muses being the only patrons of Cal's Diner at some obscene hour in the middle of the night. 

Neela goes to in-person appointments at Jasper General Hospital to see her pain specialist. Our muses could run into each other before or after one of her appointments? Spill something on each other in the cafeteria? Moan about the price of parking while waiting at the ticket machine in the hospital parking lot? 

Neela needs supplies for her work, and so she frequents Trader Sam's. Our muses could be stuck waiting to pay and strike up a conversation, break something in one of the aisles, maybe witness another stranger have a medical emergency that our muses take part of?

Our muses getting a tattoo together or coincidentally at the same time at Final Draft.

Neela loves high-end fashion. Our muses strike up a conversation and complement each other's outfits at Hestia's Closet or Gilded Rose.

Neela’s exercise regime consists of walking and stretching due to her Fibromyalgia. But she’s currently in her fresh start era and could give Elemental Fitness a try. My immediate thought was someone staring at her Sunflower lanyard, or someone making rude comments about how slow she’s taking the equipment. Maybe your muse intervenes? 

Horse therapy is meant to be incredible! Our muses could meet and ride horses at Champion Stables. 

Your muse judging/celebrating/chiming in when Neela asks a worker at Sunset Sounds if they have a copy of Tate McRae’s “So Close To What” album in stock.