3am

this is how i feel right now.

am i going to have these thoughts forever?

i hate when people who haven’t gone through mental illness think they know so much about it.

the least you can do is try.

i’m sorry sometimes i am needy or clingy, i need validation that i am worth something and that someone actually cares about me because i struggle with my self esteem and feeling worthy of being loved or even breathing. But i find it hard to accept compliments because i feel as though i am being lied to because i don’t feel that way about myself. i don’t love myself in more ways than one, i get upset over silly things and my mind goes into a deep spiral of dark thoughts that doesn’t end. Sometimes my thoughts get so dark i want to save you from me and how horrible i am, i think you’d be better off without me, the girl who thinks about horrible things and cries about dumb shit. You do mean a lot to me and my heart hurts easily when it comes to you because i just don’t want to lose you.

i hate me too.

i don’t deserve to be happy.

why do i manage to fuck everything up.

i’m so dumb for thinking i meant something to you.

no one wants me.