this blog is slowly becoming transfeminist themed

• strawman of a transfem's argument

• strawman of a transfem's argument

• strawman of a transfem's argument

• regular transphobia

• strawman of a transfems argument

on a different note, I wanna know if you think there is any particular reason tme trans people see themselves as trans first and men/masculine second? i remember a long time ago seeing trans men say they felt as if they were "trans women" before coming to terms with their identity because they didn't get particular dissatisfaction from being women but from being cis, but i dont think i ever saw the inverse

my current running theory is that for a lot of them it's about their subconscious sex much more than their intrinsic gender, as in, they primarily want their bodies to look like ours. so they see trans women and they think we have everything they want: the body they want and the ability to dress it any which way while still being read as, in their eyes, "male." living in the same transmisogynistic society as the rest of us, they see our womanhood as superficial and unimportant, a thin coat of paint slapped over what we ~really~ are. and they want to be what we ~really~ are, thinking that being labeled as a woman doesn't really mean all that much anyway for us

this, I think, is a part of the danger of reducing gender to a game of labels and coats of paint. superficially trans women may appear to have what these men want if they ignore our internality and focus only on the outside. I imagine this is part of the allure of cis male drag queens for them. they envy that, underneath it all, the labels and the clothing and the performance and everything, these people are understood as fundamentally men because of their bodies. they see the prison that traps trans women and they think it's liberation

A labour movement that refuses to engage with racial justice will inevitably replicate the social systems of racial violence that dominate and permeate our society, and will therefore be unable to meaningfully challenge the capitalist system of which that racial violence is an essential tool.

In the same way, a queer lib movement that refuses to engage with transfeminism will inevitably replicate the social systems of transmisogynistic violence and will therefore be unable to meaningfully challenge the patriarchal system of which that gendered violence is an essential tool.

my guess is that part of it is they resent us for "appropriating" the experience of misogyny that they believe is inherent to agab. they want to be the ultimate authorities on misogyny, and they hate the idea that we have authority on discussing our own experiences of misogyny, and I think they especially resent the idea that it affects us more than it does them in many areas of life. I cannot forget how mad they got that I pointed out the wage gap between them and us

Contrast this with the de-gendering that patriarchy inflicts on transfems, who are denied any legitimacy or humanity as punishment for, A, actively identifying with womanhood, a category that must always remain undesirable, and B, "betraying" manhood, a category that must always remain unbreakable and misogynistic. A failure to be a misogynist man makes us traitors. Our uselessness to the reproductive regime denies us even the faint protections of womanhood. And because we are denied a category, a humanity, we are denied language and knowledge and frameworks with which to speak of and understand our own oppression; epistimicide.

"intrinsic gender," on the other hand, is what I used to refer to the sense of the word "gender" that a lot of trans people are talking about when they discuss social gender dysphoria and euphoria. it's the internal sense of category that's resistant to external impositions

but then we also use the word "gender" to refer to subconscious sex, which is the term Julia Serano coins in Whipping Girl to name the phenomenon we're talking about when we talk about bodily dysphoria. it is the "gender" being "affirmed" by gender affirming healthcare like HRT and bottom surgery

because we use the word "gender" to discuss both "intrinsic gender" as I termed it above, and subconscious sex, there's been a certain strain of argument from some trans people that says that medical transition reaffirms societal gender norms about bodies, and that bodily dysphoria must only result from externally imposed norms about what kind of body corresponds to what gender, and thus it would just go away if the gendered associations were unlearned

My older sister is disabled and I was a caregiver like it or not from age 8 to 24. I had to physically move her multiple times a day straining my back and causing me pain to this day. Feed her meals by hand. Wipe her ass. I understand caregiver burnout better than most people, and I understand the racial aspects in play. I also understand she's 22 years old and had a bad breakup.

What about the constant masculinization of the puppygirl anon? What of the doubt thrown on the puppygirl's disability? Why is the failure of both parties to establish limits and boundaries put on the puppygirl? Why is this self admitted vent post framing a disabled trans woman as the spectre of capitalism itself? Why are basic Marxist principles around domestic labor being turned on their head to support this notion? Why is the lack of these things getting done suddenly no longer an issue once that it's not the disabled puppygirl not doing them?

There ARE good articles that address caregiver burnout. There are good articles that address how racialized partners are often expected to do more or put upon by their white partners. That was neither of them.

you dont have to agree with everything every other trans person says. hell you dont even have to like most of them.

Transfem is a descriptor of an axis of oppression, an axis that does not exist for those who can side step transmisogyny with "proof" of not being "one of them trannies"

Imane Khelif was the victim of a violently racist and transmisogynistic hate campaign, of which she and her legal team fought to prove that she isn't transgender by providing medical documents and historical record showing her biological sex, hence exempting her from transmisogyny

Aligning oneself with their Sex Assigned at birth exempts them from transmisogyny/(phobia) and so it's like, what reason to identify as an afab transfem would one have?

my guess is that these people view the womanhood a trans girl holds is in some way different to that of a cis woman; consequently, when an individual feels disconnected with femininity for whatever reason they feel attracted to the label of afab transfem, maintaining their relationship with feminity whilst differing themselves from "womanhood"

For example a nonbinary person who was assigned female at birth might identify as feminine or woman-aligned but it would be inaccurate linguisticly to call them “transfem” because the “fem” isn’t the part that was transed for them.

Transfem is a descriptor of an axis of oppression, an axis that does not exist for those who can side step transmisogyny with "proof" of not being "one of them trannies"

Imane Khelif was the victim of a violently racist and transmisogynistic hate campaign, of which she and her legal team fought to prove that she isn't transgender by providing medical documents and historical record showing her biological sex, hence exempting her from transmisogyny

Aligning oneself with their Sex Assigned at birth exempts them from transmisogyny/(phobia) and so it's like, what reason to identify as an afab transfem would one have?

my guess is that these people view the womanhood a trans girl holds is in some way different to that of a cis woman; consequently, when an individual feels disconnected with femininity for whatever reason they feel attracted to the label of afab transfem, maintaining their relationship with feminity whilst differing themselves from "womanhood"

It is FAR easier- and, in fact, far less invasive- for me to just say "i am affected by transmisogyny" or "i'm TMA" than to explain to people details about my body and experiences. I cannot stand the way people keep speaking for me and claiming that TME/TMA are exclusionary to intersex people like myself when they DIRECTLY BENEFIT US, so long as they are being used in a nuanced way that accommodates us. That's it. These people will argue all day about these terms hurting me when they don't while they continue to use the AGAB language that ACTUALLY hurts me. They believe in a system i never fit into in the first place while denying me the language to speak on my own oppression. It's maddening.

In any case. I'm so sorry you're dealing with these people. I came here mostly to let you know that as an intersex person i think you are dead right and i appreciate your posts. There are men in my community who wish to silence me- i appreciate those who do not fold to them.

Shared History™️ (which also boils down to)

Being AFAB

Watering down the definition of lesbian until it fits some vague meaning of "queerly loving non-(cis) men".

Because, if someone says "I'm a lesbian" today and "Actually, scratch that, I'm a trans man" tomorrow, then if that person was my friend today, he still will be tomorrow (unless he does something to actually abrogate that friendship, of course). Now for the trans men transitioning in such a scenario, multiply that by their number of friends, acquaintances, and whatnot in the lesbian community that they have become accustomed to sharing. The same people are all still around; the friendships and connections are still there; nothing has materially changed in terms of social presence.

He's not losing "community"; he's only losing romantic/sexual access to lesbians, insofar as lesbians are not attracted to men.

If he says he is a male lesbian, then well, it is a bit like if someone says "I'm vegan, apart from chicken and fish". It's a misleading claim, but not the end of the world on an individual level.

We lose access to our "undergraduate community" when we graduate, say. We can still hang out with the same people we did before, if we want, but if we claim to be undergraduates still, that's a little odd.

its not a word that tmes can reclaim. it never has been.