A thirst slaked only by the living.

my devoted but dangerously unstable knight will be hearing about this

need to get tortured by someone that adores me

*dipping a dart into an unlabelled flask and loading it into my crossbow* you better not try anything stupid because i don't even remember what this one does

"they should be in a healthy relationship with good communication" they should be obsessive freaks who stalk each other and have zero boundaries

Bro I implore you?!? I fucking beseech thee?!?!!?

They want me for my solemn yet tender acts of service and aura of barely-leashed violent intent

Let's homoerotically drink poison together. There's only one vial of antidote so we have to make out with tongue.

I hope my weird speech and awkward walk and nervous mannerisms are attractive to you

fucked up hurt/comfort. the person who stabbed you tends to your wound. the person who killed your loved one helps you grieve.

uwahh…!!! *magical girl transformation but instead i turn into a dead body*

*points at the waiter* your soul is uniquely sick

*trying to do well on this blind date* yeah! And, uh, you’re not even wearing a spiritual facemask, either! You’re getting your humors and maledictions all over /our/ future!

*Interrupts you to point at another waiter* born evil