Chaotic Gay

*★Safe Room★*

Let them have a fucking break 🙏

✨

✨

✨

✨

A comic panel I made of one of my favorite Book 7 scenes.

I'm going to pair it with some musings.

I found a post on Instagram that really summed up the dynamic I see between Carl and Katia as the books progress. I will try to paraphrase here.

IMO there are scenes (such as this one illustrated above) that show that the connection between Carl and Katia is more nuanced than strictly platonic/non-platonic.

Carl has almost no ability to recognize the interpersonal dynamics between people (including himself and Bea) until he clocks that Katia and Bautista have become an item. Carl is an unreliable narrator when it comes to himself and his emotions, but other people see the dynamic between Carl and Katia and expect there's something between them. Donut sees it. Daniel see it. Mordecai see it. Imani and Elle see it. Even Huanxin Jinx sees it.

There is an abundance of familial love between these two, but I think they also carry a flame for one another. One that maybe they are both scared to act on as to not jeopardize the family they've already built together. Or because they know that due to their circumstances it would only further complicate their situation. It could be either of those things or it could be mostly because Carl is oblivious to his own emotions and suppresses them while he's in survival mode. Katia is more aware of her feelings as she clearly wanted him to be the father of her child. I think these feelings snuck up on Carl, and maybe even Katia too. I'm going to quote this next part directly from the post bc I love it:

"When all you've known are hurtful, harmful relationships (in both of their cases familial and romantic) I think it's hard to recognize what healthy, stable love is until you're deeply in it."

The love that blooms between Carl and Katia isn't possessive or frantic. It doesn't demand to be acknowledged. It blooms slowly and steadily over time.

Commissions are open! You can send me a message on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, or commission me through ko-fi.com.

I will have 7 slots available for commissions a month. 3 of those will be digital slots, and the other 4 will be for paintings.

If you are unable to commission, but would still like to support, you can tip me on ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/marsbymars or DM me directly and ask me other ways to support.

I will also be posting my art here! Have a look around, stay a while, and enjoy seeing what I create! Maybe you’ll see something that would complete your area.

Commissions are open! You can send me a message on Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, or commission me through ko-fi.com.

I will have 7 slots available for commissions a month. 3 of those will be digital slots, and the other 4 will be for paintings.

If you are unable to commission, but would still like to support, you can tip me on ko-fi at https://ko-fi.com/marsbymars or DM me directly and ask me other ways to support.

I will also be posting my art here! Have a look around, stay a while, and enjoy seeing what I create! Maybe you’ll see something that would complete your area.

live footage of me